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Granted. Tau and everything else are nerfed in the new brokenest 'nid book ever. Nid players rejoice while everyone else quits.

I wish for a snow blower.

Granted. But as you stand too close to the nozzle, you are frozen stiff.

I wish for an end to matt ward.

Granted. He is replaced by WardBot. Now codex numbers are changed at random, and only new photos are inserted with each update.

I wish for more weapon sprues.

Granted. But there all las pistols and bolters, and there all done in failcast.

No wish - You shall burn in hell for eternity.

I wish for GW to make balanced rules for Wh40k.

Granted. The rulebook and the codex now weigh exactly the same amount, and perfectly balance on the scales.
I wish for more coffee.

Granted, but i drink it before you get a chance to pick up the mug.

I wish for there to be less frost in the mornings.

Granted. There is no new frost in the mornings, but watch out for that accumulated evening frost.

I wish Mrs. Snurl likes her Christmas presents.

Granted - you do! Because one of them was a genderswap, and now you have some free eye candy. But you also start to get identity issues. And you ID no longer matches. Or your birth certificate...

No wish. You are slapped silly with a salmon, mauled with a mackerel, and pounded with perch.

I wish the snow would shovel itself.

Id does, but it buries you with 20 slappyfish. You are slapped as you freeze to death.

I wish that i took some bacon, sausages, marshmellows and chocolate caramel hobnobs to the fires of hell with me.

Granted, they are laced with hallucinogenic drugs that make the natives more creative and your suffering greater.

I wish for a corruption involving a crustacean, cephalopod (easy target), or cetacean.

Granted. An Octopus slaps you with 7 fish at a time.

I wish to know what army GW will release next.

Granted. Codex: Slappyfish.

No wish, The sentence is death... By a firing squad ofsemi-automatic slappyfish cannon. Enjoy

I wish for new rough rider models

Granted-- They are the Rough Riders led by Theodore Roosevelt with an excellent model of Teddy himself. Except you awaken from your euphoric dream because GW would never do something that awesome.

NO WISH. You are ridden up San Juan hill into a hail of slappyfish.

I wish for a few more pre-'92 dwarves to complete my collection.

Granted, however they are counterfeited recasts of the originals. When you use them in you FLGS the manager calls in GW's Judges arrive and you are summarily executed.

I wish for a lawgiver pistol :3

Granted you receive a lore-giver pistol, it shouts out Matt Ward's fluff to the target.

No wish, your head is ripped off and shoved up your anus and mounted on the wall of the corrupted wishes of dakka.

I wish i had a second 40k army.

Granted, it's the next Codex: Orks army!

Sadly, it has been hit with the nerfhammer so hard that even its models look terribad.

No wish, you get curbstomped by2 Adepta Sorortias whilst they're on the red rage.


I wish to get moar guard soon

Granted. You are chained in a cell and are heavily guarded day and night.

I wish for a snowblower.

Granted, a snowblower grows out of your rear end and it starts up every time you fart.

I wish for free tacos for life.

Granted, however these tacos are the worst things you have ever tasted.

I wish I was a psyker

Granted. A rogue psyker thats being taken too the Black Ships.

I wish that i could paint all my models.

Granted, you throw them all in a bucket of paint.

I wish for a foot massage.

Granted-- you are massaged by a back flipping terminator with his multilaz0rzzz. Inside a land raider. That is transforming into a Rhino. Aaaaand-- back again.

I wish to multilaser all rhino/land raiders, back flipping terminators, and all other multilasers until they die from sheer multilaser multilasering.

Granted. But your Multilaser malfunctions so you use MultiMeltas instead.

I wish i had not eaten quite so much spaghetti.

Granted - you ate twice as much.

I wish for a Warhound Titan.