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Granted. You get a TARDIS and a chainsaw. They are 28mm scale and made of metal.

I wish i was done with my chores so I could start on the cookies and beer.

Granted. But the cookie factory promptly explodes

I wish for a flying fish in a dish

Granted. A slappy fish.
I wish for an end to Christmas.

Granted. You are the Grinch, but tomorrow, after being labelled a dangerous burglar, you begin to realize that...
Maybe Christmas doesn't come from GW,
Perhaps, it might mean a little bit more.
Your heart grows 4 sizes, then bursts from growing so rapidly and you die of the worst case of internal bleeding on record.

I wish for an end to those who hate on Christmas for no real reason.

Granted, but now they hate Christmas for a reason.

I wish I could have it all.

Granted. You have it all. Every last bit. Even the stuff you didn't want, like landfill contents and sewage, land on your head in a great big heap. Merry Christmas.

I wish it was dinnertime already. The Christmas feast at the snurl's house is held on Christmas Eve, and it already smells wonderful. Merry Christmas to all, even the non-celebrating types.

Granted, it's dinner time, but your inlaw just started a conversation with "Ya know what you should do Snurl?"


I wish the day would go faster.

Granted but only 0.000001% faster.

I wish I knew how to paint NMM.

Granted. You label all of your normal metallic paints with the word "Non" and there you go.

I wish I had not eaten quite so much for dinner.

Granted. You now only ate one cyanide potato.
I wish it was still Christmas day.

Granted. It still is Christmas day. You have slept through the whole thing, however.

I wish the new store is a great place.

It is, but it is built on the border between north and south korea. Upon entering you are arrested and held as a spy for the rest of your life by this guy.



I wish my tyranid warriors were easier to magnetize.

Granted. They are very easy to magnetize but now they are nigh impossible to pry apart.

I wish the new store was open already.

Granted, but the New Store only sells used syringes, broken bottles and hipster glasses.

I wish the speaker on my phone worked correctly.

Granted, it work properly and you find it was designed to output sound a frequencies that make your heart explode.

I wish I didn't have mind acne.

 snurl wrote:
Granted. You label all of your normal metallic paints with the word "Non" and there you go.

Hmmm, I think I might do that.

Granted- your mind acne moves along through your system into your colon; every time stuff passes through your colon, you are met with excruciating pain until Nurgle decides to make that the least of your worries.

I wish for time to build and paint my new Valkyrie.

Granted. You are marooned on a deserted island with only your Valkyrie kit. However you have no glue or paint and must improvise using coconuts and breadfruit for stains and adhesives.

I wish to get back to painting within ten minutes.

Granted. Eleven minutes later, however, you find yourself lulled into the warm, loving bosom that is the DakkaDakka forum, posting silly things on silly threads, possibly in response to this silly post.

I wish to get to painting in a minute as well.

Granted. You get right to painting the walls in your house.

I wish i could paint a bit faster.

Granted. You get right to painting the walls in your house.

I wish i could paint a bit faster.

Granted. You paint so fast that you burn all your models.
I wish to be God.

Granted, but after so many billions of people get slaughtered in your name you start to feel guilty and kill yourself. The wars continue...

I wish to be SPESS MEHREEN

Granted, but you're up against:



I wish for someone to get raped [not me]

Granted. It is your mum by a wraithknight.
I wish to be a potato.

Granted, you get blight.

I wish for a gun.

Granted, but you find out the gun shoots both ways, too late.

I wish for a friendly dragon as a pet.

Granted, but Daenarys Targaryn wants it back.

I wish for a train

Granted. A lady with a whip and a bag of treats shows up at your door. When she leaves hours later, you find yourself trained to rollover, play dead, heel, and fetch a beer from the fridge.

I wish for a good game tomorrow night.

Granted, a good game for the opponent.

No wish, you are devoured by void cephalopods from beyond existence. This causes a total removal of your ever having existed creating a butterfly effect that destroys everything.

I wish for a new species of explosive cephalopod to be discovered by my high school biology teacher.