New test for Britishness

Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you:

No adverts like this in the forums anymore.
Times and dates in your local timezone.
Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance.
Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely.
Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net.

If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

**Kilkrazy**

I have three weather apps on my smartphone.

That is part of Britishness in the 21st century.

(I also like marmite and I know what LBW means.)

**daedalus**

Huh. I don't get it.

...must not be British.

**timetowaste85**

KK, we all know that LBW stands for lez-loving bi women. What does that have to do with British, rather than being male?

There's no such thing as an LBW, just a woman who hasn't met Kronk yet.

**d-usa**

I thought that LBW stood for "Low-balls weather".

You know? When it gets so hot that they boys hang extra low to help cool you off and you have to be careful to sweep them out of the way or you might sit on them?

**Breotan**

I always thought LBW stood for large body woman.

**Kilkrazy**

The British are obsessed with weather because the weather systems over the UK are the most variable in the world.

I have three apps because one gives me a simple instant readout all the time, the next gives me news and weather forecasts, and the Met Office app is the fount of all wisdom and severe weather alerts, with lots of options, more detailed and slower to use.

**Avatar 720**

I don't have a smartphone, but I am a regular peruser of the Met Office and BBC Weather websites.

I also like Marmite and know what LBW stands for.

**Medium of Death**

I think our dear moderator has been at the giddy water.

**Desubot**

I have not tired Marmite yet but does Vegimite count?

**Jimsolo**

I live in Southern Illinois, so I totally get the weather fascination. Everyone here treats storm chasers and tornado spotters like freakin' superheroes.

As far as LBW goes...

Spoiler:

**Dr Coconut**

Only 2 weather apps on the phone, but I do have the tide times and barometric pressures on the laptop permanently open

I have both standard Marmite, plus for special occasions the gold one

Yes LBW I know, but that's no proof, after all some colonials do too, as we taught them, and insisted they play to remain part of the Empire, but we had to let them go, as they got to good

The key test is to listen to it on the radio, while rain stops play

**Bullockist**

I'm not sure why you need a weather app in the UK, when I was there you could reliably be sure is was going to rain lightly all day.

**Snrub**

Desubot wrote:I have not tired Marmite yet but does Vegimite count?

Nope, they are different stuff. Vegimite is made from yeast, left over from the process of brewing beer. Marmite is made from beef extract.
Hence Vegimite is the better of the two.

Kilkrazy wrote:The British are obsessed with weather because the weather systems over the UK are the most variable in the world.

I'd like to challenge that.

The weather in Melbourne can, and does, change so erratically that it'll go from absolutely pigging, to being colder then a witches tit in under 30 minutes. and then back again an hour or two later. Or it will be hot and stagnant and switch over to cold and windy with the flick of a switch.

I kid you not, living in Melbourne is like living in a weather pinball machine some days. Just bounces back and forth.

**Avatar 720**

Snrub wrote:
Desubot wrote:I have not tired Marmite yet but does Vegimite count?
Nope, they are different stuff. Vegimite is made from yeast, left over from the process of brewing beer. Marmite is made from beef extract.
Hence Vegimite is the better of the two.

Actually, Marmite is also made from yeast extract; Bovril is the meat extract.

**kronk**

Google says LBW means Leg Before Wicket. As I fell asleep just reading that, and then twice more typing the previous sentence, I have no idea nor any inclination to learn what that means. Sounds like Ewok mischief.

**Dreadclaw69**

Kilkrazy wrote:
The British are obsessed with weather because the weather systems over the UK are the most variable in the world.

I thought so to. Until I ended up living in an area that has lake effect snow

The weather can change very abruptly here

**Avatar 720**

kronk wrote:
Google says LBW means Leg Before Wicket. As I fell asleep just reading that, and then twice more typing the previous sentence, I have no idea nor any inclination to learn what that means. Sounds like Ewok mischief.

If the leg (or any other part of the batsman's body bar the hands holding the bat) of the batsmen deflects a ball that would have otherwise struck the wicket, then an LBW is called and the batsman is dismissed, just as if the wicket was actually struck. Thanks to technology, it's far easier to detect whether a ball would have struck the wicket had the batman's body not intercepted it, but it's still a matter of much contention in modern-day cricket.

The part I didn't know (but could probably have figured out easily enough) was that the rule was introduced to cricket when batsmen began to use their protective pads to shield the wicket.

...

You fell asleep again, didn't you? *Sigh* Bloody plebians...

**Snrub**

Avatar 720 wrote:
Actually, Marmite is also made from yeast extract; Bovril is the meat extract.

Ah so you're right. Getting my black pastes mixed up.

Also this...

Wikipedia wrote: 2012–13 New Zealand Marmite shortage

In November 2011, Sanitarium shut down the sole production line of New Zealand Marmite at its Christchurch factory after a cooling tower at the factory was deemed unsafe, having cracked in the 22 February 2011 Christchurch earthquake and its aftershocks. On 19 March 2012, the company announced that its own stocks of Marmite had run out and the production line was not expected to be running again until July. Some supermarkets reported at the time they had already run out of stock, and there was only a few weeks of stock left in their distribution centres, leading to the dubbing of Marmite as "black gold" and the crisis as "Marmageddon".[29][30][31]

Immediately after the announcement, there was reported panic buying of Marmite from supermarkets,[32] and over one hundred auctions for jars of Marmite, new and used, were listed on online auction site TradeMe, with some sellers asking for up to NZ$800 per jar; over 185 times its usual retail price of around $4.25 per 250g jar[33][34] People were advised to use the spread sparingly, with even Prime Minister John Key admitting he may have to switch to Australian rival Vegemite once his personal supplies run out.[35] Throughout the shortage Marmite ran a number of marketing campaigns on social media which led to a 2,975% increase in Fans and a lot of brand exposure.[36]

In June 2012, it was announced that additional structural damage had been uncovered at the factory, and the proposed July return to production was rescheduled to October.[37] Problems with an unfinished lift at the factory delayed production into 2013.[38]

Sanitarium announced in February 2013 that production had restarted and the factory was in the process of building up stock ready for the return. Marmite returned to New Zealand retailers effective midnight on 20 March 2013, although only the 250g jar size was initially available and many supermarkets imposed a limit of two jars per customer per day to promote fairness and prevent bulk buying. The return to overseas retailers is on now that the New Zealand supply and demand has settled.[39][40]

You whacky Kiwis.

**Tibbsy**

Snrub wrote:
Desubot wrote:I have not tired Marmite yet but does Vegimite count?
Nope, they are different stuff. Vegimite is made from yeast, left over from the process of brewing beer. Marmite is made from beef extract.
Hence Vegimite is the better of the two.

You take that back heathen!

**MrMoustaffa**

Kilkrazy wrote:
I have three weather apps on my smartphone.

That is part of Britishness in the 21st century.

(I also like marmite and I know what LBW means.)

Why do you need three weather apps when all you guys get is clouds and a light rain?

**Dark Apostle 666**

We had torrential rain and high winds yesterday, and a freezing cold day with clear sky today - it's not always rainclouds here (it just often is!)

**Jihadnik**

There's only one reliable test for Britishness, toss them a cricket ball, if they catch it...they're probably not British...

**notprop**

Hang on that's my Aussie joke from last year?

Times change like the weather here!

**Alfndrate**

Assuming that LBW does not mean what Kronk and Avatar have stated, I'm still trying to figure out what LBW means.

Also, as for weird weather, Ohio is just as screwy, except you Brits get semi-consistent weather. December 5th, it was 60 (15/16C) degrees during the day, at the end of the week, it was like 32 degrees and snowing. It's been in the 40s all week, and Sunday it'll be 57 degrees, and immediately drop to like 30 on Monday... Ohio can't make up its mind

**Perkustin**

'British' usually = 'English' in my experience, especially when it comes to marketing and entertainment.

I will admit that the Scots are equally obsessed with weather. 'LBW' i.e. Cricket on the other hand? Pffftt, nae chance!

EDIT: I would say the Scots version of Cricket is probably Golf, the Scots love watching Golf on the telly.

Rugby is also not overly popular with the Scottish working class and many of those from a working class background. However it is pretty popular in the Scots Middle-upper class.

**Leigen_Zero**

I'm Welsh, which is kind of like being British, except for one thing:

We don't use your fancy weather apps, we know what the forecast is going to be:

dress for rain...

**chaos0xomega**

Kilkrazy wrote:
The British are obsessed with weather because the weather systems over the UK are the most variable in the world.

You've never been to Fort Drum, NY.

**Tibbsy**

Leigen_Zero wrote:
I'm Welsh, which is kind of like being British, except for one thing:

We don't use your fancy weather apps, we know what the forecast is going to be:

dress for rain...

I live not far away from Wales; but if I'm going in to Wales for whatever reason; no matter how nice the weather is in England, as soon as I cross the border there's rainclouds!

**Redbeard**

My passport says British, but apparently my smartphone doesn't cut it.

**Avatar 720**

Jihadnik wrote:
There's only one reliable test for Britishness, toss them a cricket ball, if they catch it...they're probably not British...

Was that a thinly-veiled jab at our inability to field well? Sir, you waltz a thin crease.