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2025/06/17 07:35:05
Subject: Mini-Movie Reviews- What You Are Watching.... in Miniature
Orphans! Nightmares! Dirty Old Men! Mental Hospitals!
1988 slasher/thriller, which does a decent job of keeping the audience guessing. And in doing so, flirts with a number of other film archetypes, particularly The People Under The Stairs for the early part.
As with many films in this series, it’s not terribly original. But it is very well shot and has some pleasing surprises.
Automatically Appended Next Post: Darkroom
Someone is a loony, and it might be the dirty peeping Tom. But let’s face it it probably isn’t.
Stars nobody you’ve heard of, but the male lead looks a bit like Morten Harket from out of off of Aha. And the acting is dreadful.
I’ll sit it out, because I’m tough like that. But to be honest, I really don’t care who’s doing it. I just wish they’d get a wriggle on and bump off the rest of the cast.
Blind Date
Surprise surprise chuck, this film has nowt to do with caterwauling middle of the road tv presenter Cilla (who incidentally was very rude to my Auntie once). Will it be a Lorra Lorra Fun? Or only marginally better than sitting through Cilla strangling yet another song without somehow leaving the audience baffled as to how anyone saw fit to give her a recording deal?
This is actually pretty good! Central conceit is a man’s vision is partially restored via technology. Which is interestingly realised on-screen as him seeing a black background, but with the shape of objects visible as pixelated white lines. Sure it’s a fairly basic SFX, but it suits the underlying tech being experimental. Anyways he witnesses a murder and plays a role in stopping a serial killer. Also stars Kirsty Alley, which is nice.
Quite slow paced, but not dragging I’d say.
This message was edited 3 times. Last update was at 2025/06/17 14:50:52
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Heck, try figuring out the lyrics to Scotland's Gloryhammer song, "He Has Returned." (Great music video though)
Spoiler:
An ancient legend born
His coming was foretold
A cybernetic champion
For the battle he was sworn
On mighty wings he'd fly
To make the epic fight
But when the war for time was won
He flew into the night
He stormed the ports of Cellardyke
And felled the dread witch-queen
Then liberated Cowdenbeath
Saviour to all machines
Hero forged in Heaven by the gods of old Dundee
Lays waste to all before him with a hail of holy steel
He has returned to Dundee
For the battle raging over the seas
He's the saviour of the world, and he's ready to fight
Blasting higher into space
The stars drawing him into his fate
He's the savior of the world
He has returned
Ancient technology
Now reprogrammed to (destroy the wizard)
Sacred combat must be found
With mighty heroes of the crown
Now the cosmic dust has cleared
Can it really be?
The Robot Prince of Auchtertool
Stands right in front of me
Far across the stars he travelled, yearning to be free
In search of epic battles to escape his destiny
He has returned to Dundee
For the battle raging over the seas
He's the saviour of the world, and he's ready to fight
Blasting higher into space
The stars drawing him into his fate
He's the savior of the world
He has returned
He has returned
With eyes ablaze with crimson fire
And great boronic wings
His armour wrought from powersteel
He is the Mecha King
With solar-powered rocket guns
And lasers on his head
The Robot Prince of Auchtertool
Will fight until he's finally dead
Robot Prince of Auchtertool
Over thy robot kingdom rule
Electronic lord of war
Destined to reign forevermore
Robot Prince of Auchtertool
Over thy robot kingdom rule
Electronic lord of war
Destined to reign forevermore
It's the same feeling I get when I read certain posts here.
You Pays Your Money, and You Takes Your Chances.
Total Space Marine Models Owned: 09
2025/06/17 17:38:41
Subject: Mini-Movie Reviews- What You Are Watching.... in Miniature
Cilla Black was a terrible singer from the 60’s that, in the 80’s became a middle weight light entertainment show.
Known for tiresome shows and catchphrases based on a force Liverpool accent, one such show was Blind Date. Which happens to have the same name as a slasher flick.
Here she is…allegedly singing. Warning. I accept no responsibility to your audio equipment, organic or technological.
Automatically Appended Next Post: Streets of Fire 1984
Apparently, this choked at the Box Office, but I’m not sure why. A neo-noir rock’n’roll movie. Akin to Burton’s Batman, its aesthetic is oddly timeless. 1950’s cars, 1980’s music. Clothing a mix of the two. A city seemingly perpetually raining and at night.
Starring we have Willem Defoe, Rick Moranis, Diane Lane and Bill Paxton among others.
Got to say? I’m loving this. Elements of 80’s action movies tied up with 50’s gang fights, via just a touch of The Warriors. And with a really nice soundtrack of 50’s and 80’s rock’n’roll.
Perhaps this was just a bit ahead of time. But it’s overall stylings would prove quite the influence on Robocop, Also, an influence on Streets of Rage, at least according to the chap that designed Cody in Streets of Rage.
Willem Defoe is superb, and for once Rick Moranis isn’t playing a wimpy character.
Definitely worth a watch. A solid proof that a film bombing on release does not a bad film make. And Y’know? If you fancied an 80’s rock’n’roll double feature, I think this would pair fairly well with Purple Rain
This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2025/06/17 18:55:22
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Essentially an incel loony before incel loonies were defined. Not sure if we’re meant to pity him.
Not an especially easy film to watch, because the distress of the victims is really well done on-screen. Also there are moments where the loony (whose identity is never a mystery) stares right down the camera. Sometimes whist monologuing, sometimes whilst stalking. Sounds like bad cinematography, but it adds to a certain claustrophobia, like we’re stuck there with him.
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Some are great, many are bad, most are entertaining on some level.
Automatically Appended Next Post: Skinned Alive 1990.
Low budget gross out shocker. Kind of a cross between early Peter Jackson and House of 1,000 Corpses. Made as a comedy horror, rather than “oh god what have we done, quick, we’ll have to play it for laughs”.
A film of admittedly narrow appeal. Too gross for comedy fans. Too comedic for horror fans. But for those like myself who enjoy its specific bandwith, it’s greatly enjoyable.
One of those low budget shockers from a time when the people making them genuinely tried to make the best film they could on a limited budget and with limited skill, and knew their limitations,
Automatically Appended Next Post: Funeral Home 1980
Also known as Cries In The Night.
Canadian Slasher, and not a terribly gripping one I’m afraid. Noticeably lacking in atmosphere, this is proving a bit of a chore to watch.
Bit of a shock-free Psycho clone at the end of the day.
This message was edited 3 times. Last update was at 2025/06/18 17:28:09
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Supernatural revenge slasher from 1980, in which a man with special educational needs is unjustly killed by townsfolk, having been falsely accused of hurting his friend, a young girl.
When tracked to his mother’s farm, he’s found hiding as a scarecrow, the four men shooting him to death.
A scarecrow then starts stalking the four….one….by….one.
Apparently a Made For TV horror. Now, it’s not gory. Whilst it’s clear something unpleasant has happened to someone, it’s all entirely off screen. And honestly? It really doesn’t feel Made For TV.
If it wasn’t the clear suspicion one of the killers has a positively unhealthy interest in the young girl, I’d say this would be a good entry to point to horror for older kids, say early teens.
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It still holds up! Beautiful artwork, great songs, a moving story (if you don’t think about it too hard). Watch it.
The only thing that bothers me is how often they describe the beast as hideous or ugly when he looks like a doe eyed werewolf at worst. He doesn’t look human, but he’s not a festering mutant covered with boils.
The live-action remake that kicked off the craze, and it is actually pretty good. However, it was also directed by Kenneth Branaugh! Of course it looks gorgeous and "pretty good"!
Sadly, I wish it had flopped and spared us what came next but there is no denying this is a solid and strong flick.
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2025/06/19 19:27:09
Subject: Mini-Movie Reviews- What You Are Watching.... in Miniature
Apparently, this choked at the Box Office, but I’m not sure why. A neo-noir rock’n’roll movie. Akin to Burton’s Batman, its aesthetic is oddly timeless. 1950’s cars, 1980’s music. Clothing a mix of the two. A city seemingly perpetually raining and at night.
Starring we have Willem Defoe, Rick Moranis, Diane Lane and Bill Paxton among others.
Got to say? I’m loving this. Elements of 80’s action movies tied up with 50’s gang fights, via just a touch of The Warriors. And with a really nice soundtrack of 50’s and 80’s rock’n’roll.
Perhaps this was just a bit ahead of time. But it’s overall stylings would prove quite the influence on Robocop, Also, an influence on Streets of Rage, at least according to the chap that designed Cody in Streets of Rage.
Willem Defoe is superb, and for once Rick Moranis isn’t playing a wimpy character.
Definitely worth a watch. A solid proof that a film bombing on release does not a bad film make. And Y’know? If you fancied an 80’s rock’n’roll double feature, I think this would pair fairly well with Purple Rain
One of my all-time favourites. Moranis is kind of a wimpy character, but he's competent in his field and wields some power. Not sure if it was ahead of its time, but it found its place as a timeless, extremely entertaining film.
@BobtheInquisitor: Yeah, it's a bit weird. They designed this very cuddly beast character people grow to care about over the course of the film and when he turns into the prince dude again in the end, everybody just wants the beast back. I feel bad for the prince.
It’s the Mortuary. I’m in the Mortuary. In that case? I must be deid!*
Another slasher, this time with satanic undertones, and young Bill Paxton as a bit of a dweeb!
It’s got really good atmosphere this one, and I think Scream may have taken some cues from the Loony’s look. Which, now I’ve watched almost 50 classic slashers in the past few months may be something original to this one.
It’s otherwise a bit by the numbers overall, but very enjoyable.
*I’m going to leave that reference unexplained, on account it’s one only Scottish Dakkanauts of a similar, as ever undisclosed, vintage might recognise.
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The only thing that bothers me is how often they describe the beast as hideous or ugly when he looks like a doe eyed werewolf at worst. He doesn’t look human, but he’s not a festering mutant covered with boils.
Yeah, cartoon beast is hot. Unlike the live action one.
Also cartoon beast doesn't neg you for your choice in literature, so he is just way better personality-wise.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2025/06/19 21:32:55
The Laws of Thermodynamics:
1) You cannot win. 2) You cannot break even. 3) You cannot stop playing the game.
Colonel Flagg wrote:You think you're real smart. But you're not smart; you're dumb. Very dumb. But you've met your match in me.
2025/06/19 21:37:08
Subject: Mini-Movie Reviews- What You Are Watching.... in Miniature
The only thing that bothers me is how often they describe the beast as hideous or ugly when he looks like a doe eyed werewolf at worst. He doesn’t look human, but he’s not a festering mutant covered with boils.
Yeah, cartoon beast is hot. Unlike the live action one.
Also cartoon beast doesn't neg you for your choice in literature, so he is just way better personality-wise.
I don't think the choice of Emma Watson as the beast was too bad of a choice for the live action version.
BorderCountess wrote: Just because you're doing something right doesn't necessarily mean you know what you're doing...
GitS is a beautifully animated movie with an interesting premise and well executed action. I really loved the moody establishing vignettes. The cityscape feels both real and fantastical. The story is done well, and if I had seen this before Akira and Patlabor and bits of Evangelion, I might not have dismissed anime so quickly.
We saw the dubbed version, which has some very distinct voice acting. After hearing the actress who voiced the Major, I get why they went with ScarJo for the live action version.
My son wants to see more in this vein. Is it true the only other GitS worth seeing is Stand Alone Complex? What other anime movies have a similar style or cyberpunk aesthetic? Tubi has Appleseed, Jin-Rob and a few others, but not Bubblegum Crisis (which I want to see for the Streets of Fire influence).
automatically appended same post
I love Streets of Fire. I frequently play Going Nowhere Fast and Tonight is What it Means to be Young on YouTube.
Human (cartoon) Beast just looks kind of weird, like if Owen Wilson played a dark elf. Belle looks a bit disappointed.
Owen Wilson voice: “drow”
This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2025/06/19 23:21:08
GitS is a beautifully animated movie with an interesting premise and well executed action. I really loved the moody establishing vignettes. The cityscape feels both real and fantastical. The story is done well, and if I had seen this before Akira and Patlabor and bits of Evangelion, I might not have dismissed anime so quickly.
We saw the dubbed version, which has some very distinct voice acting. After hearing the actress who voiced the Major, I get why they went with ScarJo for the live action version.
My son wants to see more in this vein. Is it true the only other GitS worth seeing is Stand Alone Complex? What other anime movies have a similar style or cyberpunk aesthetic? Tubi has Appleseed, Jin-Rob and a few others, but not Bubblegum Crisis (which I want to see for the Streets of Fire influence).
The second GiTS movie (Innocence) is pretty good too and follows on from the first film.
Dominion Tank Police is pretty old but very 80s pop/cyberpunk.
Ergo Proxy deals a lot with androids and identity, but from what I recall it's more dialog heavy and less action so it might not be an easy watch depending on your son's age.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2025/06/19 23:26:36
2025/06/19 23:30:19
Subject: Mini-Movie Reviews- What You Are Watching.... in Miniature
You need to get the right version of Appleseed. The newer ones appear to be populated by uncanny valley doll-like creatures. The original Appleseed manga is just awesome. The industrial design and attention to detail are amazing. Dominion Tank Police is awesome, but also maybe a bit adult. I remember greatly enjoying Cyber City Oedo 808, but that also might be a bit adult. Or it might be terrible because I had terrible taste as a teenager
Automatically Appended Next Post: Vexille was pretty good. The CG animation again was a bit doll like, but I liked the equipment they got to play with.
Automatically Appended Next Post: Ooh, Bubblegum Crisis? I never saw it myself, but everyone loves a girly hardsuit
This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2025/06/19 23:34:03
Please excuse any spelling errors. I use a tablet frequently and software keyboards are a pain!
Ghost in the Shell is strange in that they've got multiple continuities.
Films 1 and 2 are basically a single series entity
The Stand Alone Complex series 1, 2 and Film are another continuity
Then there's another series (I forget the name) which is essentially another continuity that does a prequel kind of deal.
Interestingly its my personal belief that SAC could 'almost' be a prequel to the two original films. There's certainly a LOT of elements that set the Major up for the events in the films - though Togusa kind of breaks it entirely as he's not different just way more developed and further along by the end of the SAC events.
That said they are 100% worth it. I will only warn that NOTHING touches the original film in terms of its animation. Even the second film comes up second to the first.
Also if you're looking for more generally serious anime I'd recommend
Ergo Proxy; Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood; Wolf's Rain.
I'd honestly throw Akira and Patlabor in as well as ones I've enjoyed.
Hellsing is well worth it. The original is more dated animation but has wonderful pacing and character development. The newer is much more modern/better animated; but entirely loses a lot of character development in favour of taking the story a lot further. It's good but having seen the original you can see some of the shallowness in a few characters
Though if you purely want mech-action you could also look up Gundam. Though its a BIG Collection of stuff so there's a lot of variety. Heck I've hardly dipped into any of it (mostly because a lot of stuff only got a USA release years ago and never got a UK one on DVD blueray)
Is the Stand Alone Complex film a stand alone? Or would we need to see the series first? I don’t think Tubi has the 2nd movie.
I’ll add Ergo Proxy and a few others to the list.
I think I’ve seen Hellsing, but I don’t know if I’m actually thinking of Vampire Hunter D. I’ll save that for Halloween time if he’s still into animation.
This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2025/06/19 23:47:08
Stand Alone Complex the film is basically the end-cap on the SAC series 1 and 2. So its best to see it all in one go - series 1, 2 and then the film.
Note that the SAC series is actually a bit closer to the original Manga. It's also somewhat more upbeat, esp in season 1; but still touches on loads of serious points.
Vampire Hunter D the film is actually really good and well worth having in there.
Overread wrote: Stand Alone Complex the film is basically the end-cap on the SAC series 1 and 2. So its best to see it all in one go - series 1, 2 and then the film.
So the answer to the question of "is it stand alone" is "no".
Streets of Fire was the film that taught me that studios would release multiple videos for the same song. The video I knew as a kid for I Can Dream About you just showed the in film music group The Sorels, featuring Robert Townsend.
Bubblegum Crisis is rather anime, but the good sort, I'd say. I really enjoy it. It's tauted as "the cyberpunk anime", and in this case (and Ghost in the Shell's) I agree there. Bubblegum Crisis (2032, I wouldn't bother with later iterations. MAYBE Bubblegum Crash and AD Police, which were direct spin-offs, but even they aren't as good) is just hella rad looking. I'm all into the look of 80s sci-fi anime, and its got some of the greatest robot designs I know of. It's more "anime" than Ghost in the Shell though due to being a tv show.
Jin-Roh is alright. Always feels a bit style over substance to me.
Perfect Blue isn't cyberpunk, but just a darned solid psychologial thriller.
I watched the first two episodes of Pluto, which is a newer thing (should be on Netflix). It's about a futuristic society with loads of robots. Very Aasimov. Seems good. Also very moody.
Yeah, Gundam. I got into that a while ago. I'm into the "Real Robot" stuff, and especially enjoy when stuff like logistics, replacement parts and unprepared/not-so-well-equipped/etc units are on display, so I worry most of the things which depict any other timelines or post-One-Year-War stuff gets a bit too wacky for me. Watched the first three films, Char's Counter-Attack, a bunch of episodes of 08th MS Team (ok to good), a handful of episodes of Mobile Suit Zeta Gundam (jury's still out on that). All rather anime of course, lots of slapping of people, because it's the 70s. Well, in the beginning. Also watched the first two episodes of that Netflix CGI show, which I did not enjoy.
Peter Sellers stars as Pirate Captain Dick Scratcher, ably supported by Spike Milligan.
I’ve never heard of this before, and hopefully it’ll be one of those gems Amazon Prime offers up via Mighty Algotihmo.
But with Sellers and Milligan involved, it can’t possibly be utterly dire.
Automatically Appended Next Post: So, the sets and locations are fantastic, but the rest sadly isn’t terribly good.
Apparently it was plagued with production problems, not least of which was Sellers’ being unstable as filming immediately followed his split from Liza Minnelli.
And it’s just not terribly funny. There are bits where it is, but the whole of the thing just isn’t coming together.
Automatically Appended Next Post: Carry On Columbus
The final entry in Britain’s long running innuendo laden gag fest movies.
And it’s…alright. It’s the same bawdy humour, but with comedians from the 80’s and 90’s, who were known for much edgier and more political fare. So it all feels a bit more restrained than perhaps it should.
For instance, Rik Mayall is the Sultan. Rik is Rik, naturally. But without the swearing and manic energy he feels a bit squandered.
To modern eyes, it’s kind of “you can’t make them like that anymore”. But more from the “because comedy has moved on” angle than racism, homophobia and that being valid sources of humour.
If this has been released even 10 years earlier than its 1992 debut, it might be better regarded. Instead, whilst it’ll still scratch your Carry On itch, it feels oddly sanitised. Not by censors. Not by script. But because the comedians involved aren’t given their usual anarchic free reign.
This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2025/06/20 10:35:50
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Is the Stand Alone Complex film a stand alone? Or would we need to see the series first? I don’t think Tubi has the 2nd movie.
I’ll add Ergo Proxy and a few others to the list.
I think I’ve seen Hellsing, but I don’t know if I’m actually thinking of Vampire Hunter D. I’ll save that for Halloween time if he’s still into animation.
If you're adding Vampire Hunter D to the list I'd go with the second one:- Bloodlust. They're both stand alone films, but the first one has very dated 70's animation while the second looks absolutely gorgeous and holds up well even 40 years later.
I also saw a few people mention Dominion Tank Police, not sure how old your son is, but I feel I should point out that this features android, cat-girl strippers and very penis-shaped anti-tank mines.
2025/06/20 13:55:55
Subject: Mini-Movie Reviews- What You Are Watching.... in Miniature
Nothing quite competes with the original GitS, but the suggestions here are great. Akira definitely needs to be on the classics watch list if you haven't already seen it.
Patlabor is a good call. Also in terms of Gundam I'd recommend 08th MS Team or 0083 Stardust Memories as shorter, self contained bits of the world.
2025/06/20 15:28:16
Subject: Mini-Movie Reviews- What You Are Watching.... in Miniature
It depends on how you approach it I think. If you go in looking for 90 minutes of action packed big boomy robot fights, you'll be disappointed. Its a police procedural set in a world where police departments need to be equipped to deal with broken or subverted big stompy robots.
The plucky hero and their team need to use what they have available in terms of skills and equipment to sort something out before it gets out of hand. No rocket circuses here!
The engaging bit for me is how heavily thought through the mechs are, and how they would intersect with normal police duties, operational and logistical issues. Most of it is pretty slow, as far as I can recall though Haven't watched it for ages.
Automatically Appended Next Post: Thinking about it, this make sit similar to GitS and Dominion, but the former involves a paramilitary unit, rather than a police patrol unit, so can amp up the action, and dominion is just basically mental and deliberately over the top in its comedy.
This message was edited 3 times. Last update was at 2025/06/20 16:12:08
Please excuse any spelling errors. I use a tablet frequently and software keyboards are a pain!
Perfect Blue is definitely something special. It was wildly ahead of its time but definitely forward thinking enough to not feel dated. If you like it, check out Paranoia Agent, which is similarly way, way ahead of itself in a lot of ways. It's a shame Satoshi Kon wasn't able to see his visions come true.
I feel bad for the prince.
Cadre Coronal Afterglow w1;d0;l0 