Mini-Movie Reviews- What You Are Watching.... in Miniature

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**Mad Doc Grotsnik**

Grandmother’s House

Orphans! Nightmares! Dirty Old Men! Mental Hospitals!

1988 slasher/thriller, which does a decent job of keeping the audience guessing. And in doing so, flirts with a number of other film archetypes, particularly The People Under The Stairs for the early part.

As with many films in this series, it’s not terribly original. But it is very well shot and has some pleasing surprises.

Automatically Appended Next Post:
Darkroom

Someone is a loony, and it might be the dirty peeping Tom. But let’s face it it probably isn’t.

Stars nobody you’ve heard of, but the male lead looks a bit like Morten Harket from out of off of Aha. And the acting is dreadful.

I’ll sit it out, because I’m tough like that. But to be honest, I really don’t care who’s doing it. I just wish they’d get a wriggle on and bump off the rest of the cast.

Blind Date

Surprise surprise chuck, this film has nowt to do with caterwauling middle of the road tv presenter Cilla (who incidentally was very rude to my Auntie once). Will it be a Lorra Lorra Fun? Or only marginally better than sitting through Cilla strangling yet another song without somehow leaving the audience baffled as to how anyone saw fit to give her a recording deal?

This is actually pretty good! Central conceit is a man’s vision is partially restored via technology. Which is interestingly realised on-screen as him seeing a black background, but with the shape of objects visible as pixelated white lines. Sure it’s a fairly basic SFX, but it suits the underlying tech being experimental. Anyways he witnesses a murder and plays a role in stopping a serial killer. Also stars Kirsty Alley, which is nice.

Quite slow paced, but not dragging I’d say.

**BobtheInquisitor**

I have less and less idea what you’re saying every post.

**Quixote**

BobtheInquisitor wrote:
I have less and less idea what you’re saying every post.

Im chalking it up to Scotland.

Heck, try figuring out the lyrics to Scotland's Gloryhammer song, "He Has Returned." (Great music video though)

Spoiler:

It's the same feeling I get when I read certain posts here.

**Mad Doc Grotsnik**

Cilla Black was a terrible singer from the 60’s that, in the 80’s became a middle weight light entertainment show.

Known for tiresome shows and catchphrases based on a force Liverpool accent, one such show was Blind Date. Which happens to have the same name as a slasher flick.

Here she is…allegedly singing. Warning. I accept no responsibility to your audio equipment, organic or technological.

Automatically Appended Next Post:
Streets of Fire 1984

Apparently, this choked at the Box Office, but I’m not sure why. A neo-noir rock’n’roll movie. Akin to Burton’s Batman, its aesthetic is oddly timeless. 1950’s cars, 1980’s music. Clothing a mix of the two. A city seemingly perpetually raining and at night.

Starring we have Willem Defoe, Rick Moranis, Diane Lane and Bill Paxton among others.

Got to say? I’m loving this. Elements of 80’s action movies tied up with 50’s gang fights, via just a touch of The Warriors. And with a really nice soundtrack of 50’s and 80’s rock’n’roll.

Perhaps this was just a bit ahead of time. But it’s overall stylings would prove quite the influence on Robocop, Also, an influence on Streets of Rage, at least according to the chap that designed Cody in Streets of Rage.

Willem Defoe is superb, and for once Rick Moranis isn’t playing a wimpy character.

Definitely worth a watch. A solid proof that a film bombing on release does not a bad film make. And Y’know? If you fancied an 80’s rock’n’roll double feature, I think this would pair fairly well with Purple Rain