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Granted, however, 50 shades of black, is far far far worse.

I wish I could get this song out of my head.

Granted, but then you compleat toy forget about this great song.

I wish for an infinity army.

Granted. It takes an infinity to assemble and paint it.

I wish my foot wasn't sore.

Granted. However it is now a hand.
I wish that my toes were more dexterous.

Granted but only 0.0001% more dextrin us.

I wish for a SCP.

Granted. The Soviet Communist Police show up at your home.

I wish to see some boobies.

Granted, you receive boobies after they have been cut off the woman.

I wish for the SCP foundation.

Granted. They contain you.

I wish i knew how this would wind up.

Granted, you now know, and are driven insane.

I wish the next person who posts, makes a really fun wish.

Granted.
I wish everyone celebrates "Slap Guardsman Bob with a Fish Day"

Granted, but Bob deeply enjoys it.

I wish for 54mm+ 40k miniatures.

(I did enjoy it, but now I smell like fish.)

Granted, but now all miniatures are 54mm, six times the price, and still the same point cost.

I wish smart people had been in charge of Jurassic Park, cuz I really wanted to go there.

Granted, but they only specialise in space travel and no nothing about containing dinosaurs.

I wish Knight Models would reduce their prices.

Granted. Their models are the cheapest around. But now they are cast in plaster.
I wish for a quick recovery.

Granted, you recover quickly but as you happily step outside, you are knocked over by a biciclist and are paralyzed.

I wish to become a Jedi.

Granted, after taking a one hour online test, you print off your Jedi Degree. You are now a certified Jedi, send 500 monies to this address, and they'll send you your lightsaber.

I wish I would stop being trolled by the internets.

Granted, you are trolled by the real-lifes

I wish I had an undo button for my conversions.

Granted. But you can only reach it with a stick.
I wish that every time a fish slaps Guardsman Bob, an angel gets its wings.

Granted, but now that each angel has over ten wings each, they're too heavy and fall out of heaven.

I wish I could troll the world.

Granted. But your only medium is latin and no one gets it.
I wish more people spoke latin.

Granted.... everyone starts talking pig latin.... much to your annoyance.

I wish that CD would get here already.

Granted, it's so scratched it isn't even flat.

I wish for a Chaos god made vending machine.

Granted. It takes souls not money.

I wish for bullet time-super speed.

Granted, it's bullet time all the time. People go insane from the world moving so (perceptibly) slow.

I wish my gakkin' washing machine would work right.

Granted. It works fine, if you feed it kittens.

I wish my leg would heal up.

Granted. it heals up, and up, and up into the sky, until you are nothing more than a speck on what was once your leg.

I wish for a button that said "It's bullet time all the time!" because it sounds really cool in my head.

Granted. The button grows right out of your head. People keep pressing it to see what it does.

I wish to paint today.

Granted, you need to paint a barn. GET TO IT.

I wish I could do back flips.

Granted, but now you wish that you could stop doing back flips before you fall into the....to late.

I wish I could have saved thepowerfulwill before he died.

Granted, but you drown in the process

I wish I had a real life Space Marine Jump Pack