40k Vending Machine I: Just As Planned

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**Argive**

You get a pile of rubble

I insert a small jade buddha statue.

**BigWaaagh**

You get reincarnated as a squirrel.

I insert Mothra.

**snurl**

You get a lightbulb.

I insert a golden idol.

**BigWaaagh**

You get Billy Idol.

I insert a stack of buttered flapjacks, smothered in real Maple Syrup and a side order of crispy bacon.

**snurl**

You get an Egg McMuffin.

I insert hot coffee.

**BigWaaagh**

You get a Starbucks barista apron.

I insert Sarah Huckabee Sanders.

**snurl**

You get Peg Bundy.

I insert wood stain.

**BigWaaagh**

You get shellacked.

I insert Dudley Do-Right.

**snurl**

You get Penelope Pitstop.

I insert Major Hochstetter.

**BigWaaagh**

You get sent to the Eastern front.

I insert the shaved hair from a full grown male Sasquatch.

**snurl**

You get fun fur.

I insert the Loch Ness Monster.

**BigWaaagh**

You find Nemo!

I insert the embalmed, preserved corpse of Vladimir Lenin.

**snurl**

You get Madame Tussaud.

I insert pure Dwarvenite.

**BigWaaagh**

You get a jar of Vegemite.

I insert a fish slap.

**snurl**

You get two fish slaps.

I insert a rabid weasel.

**Not Online!!!**

You "RUN AWAY!"

I insert a monthy Python reference.

**SKR.HH**

You get a shrubbery.

I insert an outdated calendar.

**snurl**

You get outdated coupons.

I insert a Whopper.

**SKR.HH**

You get a Big Mac.

I insert some coffee beans.

**snurl**

You get Expresso.

I insert a small piece of paper.

**SKR.HH**

You get a Post-it.

I insert a shrunken head.

**snurl**

You get Viagra.

I insert contrast paint.

**SKR.HH**

You get a Pollock painting.

I insert my newly earned Viagra pills.

**snurl**

You ger 'ard boyz.

I insert a sandcastle.

**Trondheim**

You get ruined hopes and damnation

I insert a single 308. Lapula

**Not Online!!!**

You get a stern talking too by a police officer about gun safety.

I insert a speech from Winston Churchill.

**Skinflint Games**

You get beaten up on the beaches, on the cliffs, on the hills and on the streets

I insert a Gibson Les Paul

**snurl**

You get a g-string.

I insert a small salad.

**BigWaaagh**

You get tossed.

I insert a whoopee cushion.

**Skinflint Games**

You reap a whirlwind.

I insert a Whirlwind.