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He is your brother so don't go too hard on him. I'm sure he'll pay you back in time.

G

dogma wrote:My family has a long history of feuds with respect to things like inheritance, debt, and other such matters.

Awesome. So you're related to Michael Jackson?!

Everything someone lets my sister "borrow" ends up broken or lost. Or at the very least, not returned to you until you hound her for three days straight.

I've decided from now on to only either give things to her, or not let her take them at all. (Generally moving towards the latter. It's not like she doesn't have her own stuff.)

Lukus83 wrote:Sorry for the rant, and I hope you get your cash back soon!

I just exploded in rage, too. It is good to let it out sometimes.
That being said, sorry/thanks Gwar! I didn't mean to hijack your thread for half a page. It was worth it, though, to get Frazzled's opinion, not to mention therapeutic.

I would suggest:

Tell your brother that he needs to start paying you back and establish a payment plan. 25 or 50 a month or some mutually agreeable amount. If you don't see him monthly he owes you whatever it would be (2 months worth, 3 months worth, etc.)

If he misses a month he owes you an extra 10. Put it in writing, have him sign it.

mattyboy22 wrote:I would suggest:

Tell your brother that he needs to start paying you back and establish a payment plan. 25 or 50 a month or some mutually agreeable amount. If you don't see him monthly he owes you whatever it would be (2 months worth, 3 months worth, etc.)

If he misses a month he owes you an extra 10. Put it in writing, have him sign it.

Might be a little too late for that.

Writing up a contract after the fact (especially one with penalties involved) doesn't really
help someone who can't manage their money.

The thing about contracts is that they're only useful if 1) you're willing to sue the other party in court and 2) they have some ability to pay.

I mean, in principle I agree with Dogma. Any loan that's meant to be a loan, and not a gift, should be in writing even if between family.

Families can be rough. I know that in a lot of them, emotions and guilt are used for power and material gain. So you get the deadbeat brother that the mom really dotes on, so nobody can call him on anything without a row, or some other such nonesense. Like any other relationship, just balance the good with the bad, and use that to determine how much BS you're willing to take.

I don't even want the money, but it is about the principle now, so I am making him give me the money this weekend or the Frazzled Class Stick-with-Nails is being Deployed.

dogma wrote:I was just wondering why someone (you?) would want the money back at all?

€250= US$374.413
Thats why. They had an agreement, and instead of keeping his part of the bargin *Insert new phone here*

Drk_Oblitr8r wrote:

dogma wrote:I was just wondering why someone (you?) would want the money back at all?

€250= US$374.413
Thats why. They had an agreement, and instead of keeping his part of the bargin *Insert new phone here*

Yup, that is pretty much it. I can understand if it was "I needed to pay rent" or "We had to buy oil for the heating" or "I had to pay for A&E cause I got a pickaxe up my arse", but "I wanted a new Phone" is taking the piss and several other bodily fluids.

malfred wrote:

dogma wrote:My family has a long history of feuds with respect to things like inheritance, debt, and other such matters.

Awesome. So you're related to Michael Jackson?!

Most asian families have that issue ><

@Gwar , i have a very easy solution.

Just dont ever buy him christmas or birthday presents again.

He'll know that the €250 he owe makes him lose in the long run ( considering he have many years to live )

Assuming he gets €200 per year for his bday + christmas present , he lives for 50 more years , thats €10,000

You just saved yourself $9,800 Gwar!

LunaHound wrote:

malfred wrote:So you're related to Michael Jackson?!

Most asian families have that issue ><

wat

Orkeosaurus wrote:

LunaHound wrote:

malfred wrote:So you're related to Michael Jackson?!

Most asian families have that issue ><

wat

har har , quote the whole thing...

That makes less sense than the first statement though...

You said that Micheal Jackson relations = Ha ha, Asian family too.

Seriously though... wat?

Wrexasaur wrote:That makes less sense than the first statement though...

You said that Micheal Jackson relations = Ha ha, Asian family too.

Seriously though... wat?

No...

malfred wrote:

dogma wrote:My family has a long history of feuds with respect to things like inheritance, debt, and other such matters.

Awesome. So you're related to Michael Jackson?!

Drk_Oblitr8r wrote:
€250= US$374.413
Thats why.

And? I'm fully aware of how much money it is, and the amount in question is important, but only in the context of each party's financial situation. To me that isn't much money, and I wouldn't have any problem simply giving it to a friend or relative who needed it. To Gwar! it may be a significant amount, and if that's the case I would simply say that he's learned a lesson about handing needed currency to a relative over whom he has little control.

Drk_Oblitr8r wrote:
They had an agreement, and instead of keeping his part of the bargin *Insert new phone here*

I'm not questioning why he's angry that his brother reneged on an agreement. I get that completely. I'm questioning why the agreement would be made in the first place if the money was somehow significant to Gwar!.

dogma wrote:I'm not questioning why he's angry that his brother reneged on an agreement. I get that completely. I'm questioning why the agreement would be made in the first place if the money was somehow significant to Gwar!.

The money is insignificant to me. What matters is he asked for the money, and I agreed on the condition he paid it back whenever he was able to, which he agreed to. I would not have cared if I got the money back in a week, month or year. What has gotten me furious is that he has the money, is more than able to pay it back, but instead got a new phone and had no intention of telling me (I only found out because his room-mate knows about the money I lent him and isn't a douche).

I get why you're pissed. The guy bought a new phone and tried to keep it secret, knowing it would annoy you. He made the decision that a new toy was worth more than an honest relationship with his brother.

At this point your brother needs to rectify this, and he needs to do so by repaying the money as soon as possible.

I'm guessing the money was lent under the assumption that the brother needed it, in the strict sense of the word. When it wasn't repaid, it was assumed to be due to poverty, not due to spending on luxury goods. The problem is that the brother essentially lied and/or took advantage of the situation.

Where did he get the money?

It sounds like you have a bit of a double standard here, but I understand why you would be angry.

If you just straight up told him that you were offended by that, and why you were offended by that (him having the money, etc...); I think that this would be your best option.

If dude is a flat out mooch, and he comes back to ask you for more money, then stop talking to him, and let him take care of himself.

Wrexasaur wrote:Where did he get the money?

It sounds like you have a bit of a double standard here, but I understand why you would be angry.

How do I have a double standard? I lent him the money so he had a place to live, on the condition he paid me back when he could. I did not say to him "pay be back when you can after you buy yourself new phones you don't need". I mean, he is going "ooh im so poor waaaa" but suddenly has 4/5ths of the Money he owes me to spend on a phone?

If dude is a flat out mooch, and he comes back to ask you for more money, then stop talking to him, and let him take care of himself.

Yeah, he is. I shall not be talking to him once I get this money back.

Gwar! wrote:How do I have a double standard? I lent him the money so he had a place to live, on the condition he paid me back when he could. I did not say to him "pay be back when you can after you buy yourself new phones you don't need". I mean, he is going "ooh im so poor waaaa" but suddenly has 4/5ths of the Money he owes me to spend on a phone?

I guess it wasn't clear that you had a relatively solid verbal agreement. If you had just lent him the money, and vaguely mentioned that you were lending it to him. The problem with that is, who the hell would just give someone close to four hundred dollars? I have never been a fan of borrowing money, especially when I am in a tight situation, but this guy does seem to be taking the piss somewhat.

Yeah, he is. I shall not be talking to him once I get this money back.

If he is just a mooching bastard, then that is all you really need to know. Did he really need a new phone by any chance?

Oh, and one last thing. Don't make this into a ten year vendetta, just get your money, and be done with it. If you can't get your money, and never end up getting it, I would hardly call that reason to never see family... ever again. Just seems harsh to me, but I can totally understand in the short term.

Wrexasaur wrote:If he is just a mooching bastard, then that is all you really need to know. Did he really need a new phone by any chance?

Yes, he did. I am half tempted to beat the living tar out of him and requisition the phone as collateral.

So your mainly angry that he did not tell you that he was getting a new phone? Or that he got an expensive phone.

I mean realistically, that money could have been for you; but if he needed a phone, because his old one broke or something, then I understand.

It really sucks to not have the internet, or a phone, and if he relies on one device (his phone) for both, it only makes sense that he would go out and get a new one.

I would completely understand if the guy went out, and bought 5 new shirts, for no reason.

Wrexasaur wrote:So your mainly angry that he did not tell you that he was getting a new phone? Or that he got an expensive phone.

I mean realistically, that money could have been for you; but if he needed a phone, because his old one broke or something, then I understand.

It really sucks to not have the internet, or a phone, and if he relies on one device (his phone) for both, it only makes sense that he would go out and get a new one.

Ah, sorry. I could have been a little clearer

I am angry that he bought a phone for no reason. His old phone is perfectly fine.

Gwar! wrote:I am angry that he bought a phone for no reason. His old phone is perfectly fine.

Then he just pulled a douche move, but he is still family yeah. Just beat him up with a giant spoon....



And then bury him with it of course...

New Plan:

Pretend everything is fine and he can pay you back at Xmas.

When he gives you the cash at Xmas Day, you then claim that was your Xmas present and demand the cash from him.

Lord-Loss wrote:New Plan:

Pretend everything is fine and he can pay you back at Xmas.

When he gives you the cash at Xmas Day, you then claim that was your Xmas present and demand the cash from him.

Not an option. I haven't bought xmas presents (or gotten any) since the age of 16

Anyway, he is offering to pay Half this week and half next week. Not sure if I should accept and leave his legs unbroken or just break them anyway.

Accept now, and when he defaults on the agreed payment options, break his legs, take his money, sell his phone.

Gwar, you are longterm unemployed and have gleefully told this forum how you enjoy claiming benefits.

The fact you can amass this amount means you have been lying to the welfare people. You must declare all savings to them.

So, the money your brother had is what he's taken from you that you have taken from the state. You seem, from what you've written, to have been committing benefit fraud.