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Our clockwork modems are perfectly servicable, I'll have you know!

Good to know I'm not a real immigrant. I should move out of the low rent area of southend then!

Da Boss wrote:Our clockwork modems are perfectly servicable, I'll have you know!

Good to know I'm not a real immigrant. I should move out of the low rent area of southend then!

Well, let me ask you this - do you have a funny hat?


If the answer is 'no', then you sir are not a 'proper immigrant'.

corpsesarefun wrote:

Lord-Loss wrote:

Asherian Command wrote:This one time I was at a camp in the forest in the dead heat of the summer and this Brainic that is one of my friends. Says. "Hey guys wouldn't be awesome to throw ENTIRE can of Bug Spray into a fire or use a match and put it up like a flame thrower. That would be awesome right? Right?"
I look at him and say. "Oh yeah because fire and gas make a great mix." So he is a brainic and takes the match and presses the button to release the bug spray and puff of flame comes out. And He starts laughing and he holds it down. And the flame starts to get bigger and bigger. and then a little kid comes through and pushes the can out of his hand straight into the water.

I think we've all set ourselves alight with cans of deodorant and lighters whilst drunk or otherwise intoxicated once or twice.

I set my hand, arm and hair on fire with butane once while sober.

That's impressive. Never set my hair on fire (but when I was into the butane/aerosol flame-thrower stage, I shaved my head...) I have discovered that if you wish to use an aerosol can as an improvised explosive, make sure the drainpipe you use as your launching tube isn't a) plastic or b) cracked.

Or c) don't. There are much better ways to improvise booms.

Yes. But I cannot tell anyone. Like Maple Syrup is actually highly flammable.

chaplaingrabthar wrote:

corpsesarefun wrote:

Lord-Loss wrote:

Asherian Command wrote:This one time I was at a camp in the forest in the dead heat of the summer and this Brainic that is one of my friends. Says. "Hey guys wouldn't be awesome to throw ENTIRE can of Bug Spray into a fire or use a match and put it up like a flame thrower. That would be awesome right? Right?"
I look at him and say. "Oh yeah because fire and gas make a great mix." So he is a brainic and takes the match and presses the button to release the bug spray and puff of flame comes out. And He starts laughing and he holds it down. And the flame starts to get bigger and bigger. and then a little kid comes through and pushes the can out of his hand straight into the water.

I think we've all set ourselves alight with cans of deodorant and lighters whilst drunk or otherwise intoxicated once or twice.

I set my hand, arm and hair on fire with butane once while sober.

That's impressive. Never set my hair on fire (but when I was into the butane/aerosol flame-thrower stage, I shaved my head...) I have discovered that if you wish to use an aerosol can as an improvised explosive, make sure the drainpipe you use as your launching tube isn't a) plastic or b) cracked.

Amusingly butane doesn't burn what its on, just the butane above it so the flame was neither hot nor burning on my hand and arm however my hair so so thin that a naked flame within 10ft of the damn stuff it autoignites. Also aerosols are for people scared of fire instead you spray the contents of a can onto a limb then put your hand in a naked flame

Two years ago, in Math lessons. We had this STUPID AS HELL teacher who couldn't controll our class. We just yelled and all.

Student: hey teacher, your mother is a whore.

*teacher slowly turns*

teacher: Yes, but.....oke...Let's continue with the lesson.

X 100.000

Later, the teacher's frustration got the better of him, and he grabbed a girl by the throat, almost choking her.

Yeah, In belgium their are some pretty weird teachers.

Like one time a few years back. The class was struggeling with the present continous.
And she tought the best way too learn it was to make a song of it.
The song was "can't touch this" from MC hammer

Or in computerclass.

My friend: Sir, I don't understand this exercise.
Teacher: Neither do I.
Friend: What the hell you are a teacher right?
teacher: Yes, but I don't know how to work with computers. The computer courses only start in November.

Or this time our english teacher came into class with a green pullover, green pants,red boots, and she wore bright red lipstick. She looked like a christmas tree.

Oh, another one:

Teacher fysics. Tries to explain how electricity works.
He made an entire experiment.

And while he is explaining, it starts to catch fire. We alert him.
The only thing he does is to stare at the flames and mumbles: this shouldn't have happend.
And then he went bezerk on us all and said we were to blaim.

Or my geography teacher who had confiscated an erasor of the elastic kind. He makes a wolfhead and puts it on a stick.
The entire lesson he talks to "Wolfie". But at the end of the lesson, some girls start talking.
He doesn't like that And walks toward them. And repeatedly smack "wolfie" on their table.
Then he says with a creepy voice: Do it one more time, and someone else will pay.
The look on their faces was priceless.

God, That dude was the most awesome teacher ever.

I had a History teacher that was horribly boring. She spoke in a super monotone voice and literally just put people to sleep. It angered her ALOT but rather then change her teaching style, she would slam one of those HUGE ass dictionaries on the table near the sleeping kid. Well this one student would fall asleep almost regularly so she got real pissed once, and just threw the damn dictionary at the poor lad. Busted his lips open and broke the kids nose.

Yes his parents sued the gak out of our school

Wait. So a student says the teacher's mother is a whore, and you blame the teacher for not being "able to control us"? You've got no free will then? You'll just behave like scum unless controlled?

Lovely.

well, I changed classes after half year from the 'good, and always studies class' , to the 'Dad Bwoy' class.

So yes that class needed a leash.

I have to say, I didn't participate in any mockery of teachers...But I did laughed a lot. It was a shamefull period, but a fun one.

Da Boss wrote:Wait. So a student says the teacher's mother is a whore, and you blame the teacher for not being "able to control us"? You've got no free will then? You'll just behave like scum unless controlled?

Lovely.

Hes young mate, Im sure most of that was a bit......exaggerated

I spent xmas day in the E.R because aparently Kidney Stones don't like opening gifts. Anyway I'm diagnosed, given pain meds and am told I just have to wait for it to pass, we're on our way to get checked out when this Nurse sees me limping (the pain in your side causes your muscles in your hip to spasm) and coming to check out. She had no clue what I was in the E.R for but as we pass her she says "Hope everything comes out ok"

Warboss Imbad Ironskull wrote:I spent xmas day in the E.R because aparently Kidney Stones don't like opening presents. Anyway I'm diagnosed, given pain meds and am told I just have to wait for it to pass, we're on our way to get checked out when this Nurse sees me limping and coming to check out. She had no clue what I was in the E.R for but as we pass her she says "Hope everything comes out ok"

Tell me when the fire the sonic gun at you!

That reminds me of a drunken brawl my brother and I got into when I was like 18 or so. Anywho, while totally smashed the giant and I decided we hated one another and got into a huge brawl and long story short, demolished a friends mobile home. During the brawl I somehow punched the side of his truck and broke my hand in the process. Now the bone was pushing the skin WAY up and crunched every time I moved my fingers. It was so obviously broken, that they only way it could of been worse, was if the bones finally poked out of the skin.

Fast forward about 4 hours Im sitting in an ER room being annoyed that nothing has happened other then an xray. This GENIUS of a male nurse walks in and sticks the xrays on the light board looks at it for a good minute or so and finally says "yea we should wait for the doctor but I think its a break"

NO gak! Really? I figured it was from the above, and then seeing the xray, there was a HUGE section of bone broken out/shattered in the xray. x10

chowderhead13 wrote:

Warboss Imbad Ironskull wrote:I spent xmas day in the E.R because aparently Kidney Stones don't like opening presents. Anyway I'm diagnosed, given pain meds and am told I just have to wait for it to pass, we're on our way to get checked out when this Nurse sees me limping and coming to check out. She had no clue what I was in the E.R for but as we pass her she says "Hope everything comes out ok"

Tell me when the fire the sonic gun at you!

You mean to break up the stone? I wish that had been an option (though my wallet dosen't) unfortunatly it was only 2mm so I just had to wait. I didn't believe my doctor when she said the pain of it passing would be worse then what women feel giving birth. I believe her now

Just looked up some chords on a tab site and apparently the chorus ends with an "Hm" >.>

Once, when I was super sloppy drunk, and wearing only a pair of shorts, I fell off of a retaining wall into rose bushes. I thought it was so funny at the time that I laughed so hard I barfed all over several people. No so much the next day, when I awakened on the lawn, covered in blood and barf. (Not the only time that happened, but that's a story for another forum entirely...)

I have had a few derp moments when cooking/cutting food for class (I'm a Culinary Arts student).

- was cutting slices of cheddar cheese...decided to put the cheese flat on the board and use a bread knife to cut horizontally towards my hand. I got one slice out of it, then I cut my finger
- needed to relight a pilot on our stove, but we don't have any of those long matches or wooden skewers. So genius me decides to roll up a paper towel, which works great until about 3 seconds after its lit, and I realize that I have no way of putting the fire out. Several blisters and losing all the hair on my knuckle later...
- had to quickly get a steamer full of broccoli off the heat, after literally seconds ago turning the burner off. What do I decide to do? Grab the handles without any protection whatsoever. Ouch!

Warboss Imbad Ironskull wrote:

chowderhead13 wrote:

Warboss Imbad Ironskull wrote:I spent xmas day in the E.R because aparently Kidney Stones don't like opening presents. Anyway I'm diagnosed, given pain meds and am told I just have to wait for it to pass, we're on our way to get checked out when this Nurse sees me limping and coming to check out. She had no clue what I was in the E.R for but as we pass her she says "Hope everything comes out ok"

Tell me when the fire the sonic gun at you!

You mean to break up the stone? I wish that had been an option (though my wallet dosen't) unfortunatly it was only 2mm so I just had to wait. I didn't believe my doctor when she said the pain of it passing would be worse then what women feel giving birth. I believe her now

Random bit of gross biology trivia: Based off of averages, the male equivalent of giving birth would be to pass a golf ball through your, y'know. Now you know why women are tough!

Well theres IS made to do that, where as ours well....isnt. Not saying women arnt tough because they are. When my wife had our daughter, we had to go home and wait longer because she wasnt "ready" enough

Well I tried to goto sleep while she was going through the entire labor process at home with no drugs. So about 4 hours later I couldnt take it and said feth um we are going back. And she was crowning no the way into the hospital. So I can tell ya women are friggin tough

Hoo yeah they are.

I love how all the badass women i have ever met are from Chicago and not the area surrounding it.

Anyway I have another funny story.
This one time me and my friends were playing paintball and we didn't know this but some Marines from the Naval base decided to play a game okay. A squad of 5 well trained marines, faced against 130 untrained and unatheletic 12-30 year olds and only 3 specifically trained to do this. There are 270 people in total. both teams have at least 135 people.
The Marines win every game. And I got nailed in at least 12 areas, and one i got hit so hard it started to bleed and my own team shot me because they thought I was on the other team. And I had my teams colors. all over my helmet... And they could see my head.
And They still fired at me. And I yelled my team color and they yelled. "Oh Crap." And due to the rules and the referee made me leave the area.
Kinda unfair eh?