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Got another insurer seriously wound up on the phone today. He'd called three times in rapid succession, always talking to a different member of the team (calls are dished out randomly via an electronic system).

Actual incident for us is a head scratcher, as it's a three vehicle concertina, on a roundabout, where our client is in the middle. Our client's claim is he was hit in the rear, and knocked into the other car. Fair enough, makes sense.

Now with this, the quickest way to sort it out is to ask the frontmost vehicle 'how many shunts'. One shunt, rearmost is proximate cause, two shunts someone in the middle is proximate cause. You can pretty much work it out from the number of shunts anyways.

So, he's claiming we're liable for the whole incident, having stacked it into his client, the sudden stop causing the rearmost driver to stack it into our insured. Except, just yesterday, his client phoned us, wanting a courtesy car and they confirm our client's report of the incident, namely hit in the rear, shoved into front. As such, we won't be organising his hire, and he needs to talk to the insurer of the rearmost vehicle.

The second call came through to me, where apparently his client was denying speaking to *anyone* in our company, and called me a liar over the phone. I've encountered this before. The TPI gets all shirty on the phone, hoping to get a verbal admission of liability. Yeah, doesn't work so well on me. So he's gibbering and literally ranting. I ask him to conduct himself in a more profressional manner besuiting an insurance representative, or I will terminate the call. He continues to rant, saying we're all liars blah. blah. blah.

Sadly for him....we record all our calls. Guess which lucky Third Party Insurer is going to be offered an e-mail with the relevant sound file attached in the morning! A sound file confirming not just that his client phoned us but that he confirmed our client's version of events....

Got called into work last night (Thurs, dec 30) and wound up working with this guy who would not shut up about some girl he met elsewhere. I finally got annoyed and turned on him and para-quoted the movie "Bambi" .....

Me: Dude, You're Twitterpater. (Twittwerpater, see definition 2)
Him: Huh? I don't even have a Twitter Account

Whenever I jump in a random conversation at school and say with my creepy voice, "Yyyeeeessss, now smear it with JELLY "

Or use the creepy voice in any situation for that matter.

ChiliPowderKeg wrote:Whenever I jump in a random conversation at school and say with my creepy voice, "Yyyeeeessss, now smear it with JELLY "

Or use the creepy voice in any situation for that matter.

I enjoy walking into random strangers and yelling So, after you bit the head off the squirrel, what did you do with the body?

Is it just me or have the kids that were once calm and mature on dakka suddenly hit the OMG CRAZY I LOVE BOOBIES phase

chowderhead13 wrote:

ChiliPowderKeg wrote:Whenever I jump in a random conversation at school and say with my creepy voice, "Yyyeeeessss, now smear it with JELLY "

Or use the creepy voice in any situation for that matter.

I enjoy walking into random strangers and yelling So, after you bit the head off the squirrel, what did you do with the body?

They obviously give off those weird looks because they thought you already knew

chowderhead13 wrote:

ChiliPowderKeg wrote:Whenever I jump in a random conversation at school and say with my creepy voice, "Yyyeeeessss, now smear it with JELLY "

Or use the creepy voice in any situation for that matter.

I enjoy walking into random strangers and yelling So, after you bit the head off the squirrel, what did you do with the body?

Oh yeah?! Well whenever I go to my school's public washroom I scream Mr. Tinkles all gentlemen nod twice, so remember that!

If you shake it more than twice, you're playing with it.

KingCracker wrote:

micahaphone wrote:At the end of Geography class, the teacher was nearly crying as he had to explain that not all rivers flow south, and north does not equal up/higher up. We're even in a state with a north-flowing river.

Oh dear god tell me your kdding

Sadly, no.

I've told these before but:

1. While talking with my Muslim friend, another guy tried to join our conversation by asking her, "So can you speak Muslim?"
2. During individual work time in math class, a girl came up to me, complaining that she didn't understand how this type of graphing functions worked. I started to explain it to her, and I quote "Wait, Y is side to side and X is up and down, right?". Six years, we've been learning y=vertical and x=horizontal in our school system. Six years, and she hadn't caught on.

Blitza da warboy wrote:

chowderhead13 wrote:

ChiliPowderKeg wrote:Whenever I jump in a random conversation at school and say with my creepy voice, "Yyyeeeessss, now smear it with JELLY "

Or use the creepy voice in any situation for that matter.

I enjoy walking into random strangers and yelling So, after you bit the head off the squirrel, what did you do with the body?

Oh yeah?! Well whenever I go to my school's public washroom I scream Mr. Tinkles all gentlemen nod twice, so remember that!

I sometimes walk out of the bathroom when it's packed and yell You rascals better remember not to flush to better serve the Great God Of Plague Nurgle

My facepalm moment(s) that I want to share with you guys are...
...during our homecoming football game, our center got his chin-strap caught in the rival nose tackle's facemask. Least to say, he ripped both helmets off thinking the kid was messing with him and punched him.
...A girl calling me a god-damn communist in the middle of a debate round (yes, i compete for my school's debate team, I'm such a loser) for arguing the positive morality of nukes
...And finally, I was about to head home from football practice and someone had stolen the seat to my bike. Not the bike itself, or even the post w/ the seat, just the seat. Why?

corpsesarefun wrote:Is it just me or have the kids that were once calm and mature on dakka suddenly hit the OMG CRAZY I LOVE BOOBIES phase

Wait what? From their posts that I've seen this is calm and mature.



Mine are much less interesting than the others in this thread, and you won't understand much of the ones I remember without some technical knowledge about networking. :(

The one I do remember was one time this hobo was trying to convince me that the entirety of existence was nothing more than a figment of our imagination and thus the tree next to him didn't exist. The rant went on for a little bit (I kept walking ), but I don't actually think it really counts.

Horizon9 wrote:
...And finally, I was about to head home from football practice and someone had stolen the seat to my bike. Not the bike itself, or even the post w/ the seat, just the seat. Why?

Thats kindda funny in the wtf kind of way. I had a truck with an extended cab on it, so there was a small window on the side behind my window. While at work someone busted it out and tried to steal the speakers I had back there. Firstly they were just junk 10s I used for a really nice sounding metal system(blast beats were awesome in that truck) anywho, the guy was caught on camera. So I watched the video, and see this AWESOMELY smart fella trying to pull a speaker box out from this tiny ass window......and try and try and twist it....and pull it....and tug and all that for a good 5 mins. He finally gave up and ran off. The whole time I kept thinking, why the feth didnt he just reach around and unlock my door? The lock was practically stabbing him in the side it was so damn close to the window
"DAMN this lock thingy is killing my ribs, if only there was a way to make it go away!"

Here's an old one from 7th grade History.

The teacher points to Egypt on the continent labeled Africa. Then a girl makes a statement, "That's impossible! Egypt is in Africa!", which is followed by a short silent class stare which turns into massed laughing.

New years was fun... me and 2 friends decided to snow wrestle. So, I'm trying to get one of them on the ground, when number 2 tackles both of us, slamming the other ones balls on my knee.

COMBO!

Also, I always used to tag things at school, with logo's and such that only the bastards at school liked. In other words, they get the blame, huzzah!

Oh yeah, well when I leave the bathroom, I say, "Don't go into stall four."
-why?
"Because...BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD" * fake stab*

I had a minor brainfart when I tried to lock someone out by putting my foot in front of the door and bracing against it; pretty sound plan you'd think, right?

Yeah, it opened outwards... He just pulled it open and I staggered through it...

/facedesk

This one time I was at a camp in the forest in the dead heat of the summer and this Brainic that is one of my friends. Says. "Hey guys wouldn't be awesome to throw ENTIRE can of Bug Spray into a fire or use a match and put it up like a flame thrower. That would be awesome right? Right?"
I look at him and say. "Oh yeah because fire and gas make a great mix." So he is a brainic and takes the match and presses the button to release the bug spray and puff of flame comes out. And He starts laughing and he holds it down. And the flame starts to get bigger and bigger. and then a little kid comes through and pushes the can out of his hand straight into the water.

Then another time, there was this kid and the kid said to one of my friends. "I can walk on water!"
Then my friend replied. "Oh really then go jump in lake."
The kid then precided to jump in the lake head first.
And then the kid was also wearing his uniform...

Another time I had brainic idea of trying to jump over a car. That was moving... It didn't really end well for me. Still a little fuzzy about the details.

Ah, as a Boy Scout, I can agree that some of the kids you meet are just plain stupid. Being a pyro = unofficial rule of boy scouts. I am proudly one. Being an unsafe pyro = get your "donkey" kicked out of the troop/ostracized faster than you can say "3rd degree burns".

And for those who don't know: yes, you can make a flame thrower out of an aerosol can. Yes, sometimes they can work fine, and some people find this fun. But, just like squirting lighter fluid onto a lit fire, it is very easy for the flame to go back into the can, creating an IMPROVISED FRAGMENTATION GRENADE IN YOUR HAND. That is bad. Similar results with throwing aerosol cans upon a fire. NEVER do any of this


On an unrelated note: If you want to make a social studies teacher cry, just use the term "country of Africa" sometime in a conversation.

micahaphone wrote:Ah, as a Boy Scout, I can agree that some of the kids you meet are just plain stupid. Being a pyro = unofficial rule of boy scouts. I am proudly one. Being an unsafe pyro = get your "donkey" kicked out of the troop/ostracized faster than you can say "3rd degree burns".

And for those who don't know: yes, you can make a flame thrower out of an aerosol can. Yes, sometimes they can work fine, and some people find this fun. But, just like squirting lighter fluid onto a lit fire, it is very easy for the flame to go back into the can, creating an IMPROVISED FRAGMENTATION GRENADE IN YOUR HAND. That is bad. Similar results with throwing aerosol cans upon a fire. NEVER do any of this


On an unrelated note: If you want to make a social studies teacher cry, just use the term "country of Africa" sometime in a conversation.

Lol

Remember: both mixing up a continent with a country AND putting shrapnel through both your body and those of others around you are both bad ideas.

micahaphone wrote:Remember: both mixing up a continent with a country AND putting shrapnel through both your body and those of others around you are both bad ideas.

Sounds ok to me.

Asherian Command wrote:This one time I was at a camp in the forest in the dead heat of the summer and this Brainic that is one of my friends. Says. "Hey guys wouldn't be awesome to throw ENTIRE can of Bug Spray into a fire or use a match and put it up like a flame thrower. That would be awesome right? Right?"
I look at him and say. "Oh yeah because fire and gas make a great mix." So he is a brainic and takes the match and presses the button to release the bug spray and puff of flame comes out. And He starts laughing and he holds it down. And the flame starts to get bigger and bigger. and then a little kid comes through and pushes the can out of his hand straight into the water.

I think we've all set ourselves alight with cans of deodorant and lighters whilst drunk or otherwise intoxicated once or twice.

Nope. Sorry. I HAVE learned how to semi-hide extremely gigantic massive bonfires s they only look like gigantic bonfires, hiding 1/3-1/2 of the mass. Basically, in your large fire pit (~8 feet across, at least), dig an inverted Mayan pyramid, and in the bottom level, build a "teepee" or "cone" style campfire, then build a "log cabin" style fire around that, and then another cone around that, ect, until you have used up all of your wood. Be sure to leave plenty of space between the wood levels, so air can go through, and some type of safe fuse is usually a good idea for lighting it from the center.

Build in a large clear area, with many feet of clearance on either side in case the fire tips/falls over. Enjoy having all leg/arm hair burnt off within 4 feet of the fire, and that's a real fire, baby.

KingCracker wrote:

Horizon9 wrote:
...And finally, I was about to head home from football practice and someone had stolen the seat to my bike. Not the bike itself, or even the post w/ the seat, just the seat. Why?

Thats kindda funny in the wtf kind of way. I had a truck with an extended cab on it, so there was a small window on the side behind my window. While at work someone busted it out and tried to steal the speakers I had back there. Firstly they were just junk 10s I used for a really nice sounding metal system(blast beats were awesome in that truck) anywho, the guy was caught on camera. So I watched the video, and see this AWESOMELY smart fella trying to pull a speaker box out from this tiny ass window......and try and try and twist it....and pull it....and tug and all that for a good 5 mins. He finally gave up and ran off. The whole time I kept thinking, why the feth didnt he just reach around and unlock my door? The lock was practically stabbing him in the side it was so damn close to the window
"DAMN this lock thingy is killing my ribs, if only there was a way to make it go away!"

You kinda have to wonder after watching/hearing these things, what were they thinking while doing all of this? At least be smart about how to be a criminal if you are going to be one

Lord-Loss wrote:

Asherian Command wrote:This one time I was at a camp in the forest in the dead heat of the summer and this Brainic that is one of my friends. Says. "Hey guys wouldn't be awesome to throw ENTIRE can of Bug Spray into a fire or use a match and put it up like a flame thrower. That would be awesome right? Right?"
I look at him and say. "Oh yeah because fire and gas make a great mix." So he is a brainic and takes the match and presses the button to release the bug spray and puff of flame comes out. And He starts laughing and he holds it down. And the flame starts to get bigger and bigger. and then a little kid comes through and pushes the can out of his hand straight into the water.

I think we've all set ourselves alight with cans of deodorant and lighters whilst drunk or otherwise intoxicated once or twice.

I set my hand, arm and hair on fire with butane once while sober.

Heh, I get these fairly regularly, but I tend to take it calmly. Some of my students (about 14-15 year olds, middle set) had the following misconceptions:
-Ireland is part of the UK, and is joined to the rest of it. Like, sort of where North Wales is.
-Dublin is in the North.
-The North is bigger than the South.
-The South is full of cottages and farmers, with no modern technology.
-Irish is like English, but backwards.
-I'm "not a real immigrant".
A few of those I can easily forgive, but others are so easily solved by looking at a map of the world. They all do geography, it makes me wonder WHAT they do in geography.

Da Boss wrote:Heh, I get these fairly regularly, but I tend to take it calmly. Some of my students (about 14-15 year olds, middle set) had the following misconceptions:
-Ireland is part of the UK, and is joined to the rest of it. Like, sort of where North Wales is.
-Dublin is in the North.
-The North is bigger than the South.
-The South is full of cottages and farmers, with no modern technology.
-Irish is like English, but backwards.
-I'm "not a real immigrant".
A few of those I can easily forgive, but others are so easily solved by looking at a map of the world. They all do geography, it makes me wonder WHAT they do in geography.

As someone who was doing that course 3ish ago i can confirm that geography is the biggest doss since procrastination studies.

I got called a white Supremacist and an anti-black racist for saying I don't like Rap music. That on it's own is worth a facepalm, but made even stupider by the fact I myself am half black

Da Boss wrote:
-The South is full of cottages and farmers, with no modern technology.

100% Truth

-Irish is like English, but backwards.

This too.

-I'm "not a real immigrant".

And this.