Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

WARORK93 wrote:
And can you blame this generation for seeing it that way? It used to be that divorce was taboo in America...the unsuccessful couple becoming social outcasts...now I'm not sure of the exact percentage but I do know that a good portion if not most marriages in the US these days end in failure...

I don't blame anyone for it, because I'm not convinced that its something that is blame worthy in the sense of value judgment.

I'm part of the generation being discussed anyway, and my lifestyle and values would probably be considered part of the problem, at least on the marriage and religiosity fronts.

dogma wrote:I don't blame anyone for it, because I'm not convinced that its something that is blame worthy in the sense of value judgment.

I wasn't implying you blamed anyone...it was an expression used to emphasize my point.

I blame my girl who happens to be my friend, she controls me D:

WARORK93 wrote:

dogma wrote:I don't blame anyone for it, because I'm not convinced that its something that is blame worthy in the sense of value judgment.

I wasn't implying you blamed anyone...it was an expression used to emphasize my point.

However you have managed to BLAME THE VICTIM!!!!

Now that that's out of the way, I can say that the Mistress/girlfriend is definitely more successful than me. We'll be paying my way through school together, but as of next year she could handle my school and all the bills on her own. I'm more of a slave/housewife than anything now

just ask young women about men today. You will find them talking about prolonged adolescence and men who refuse to grow up

Pfft.... Ahaha... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!


Oh sorry... *ahem*

Honestly it's just that my generation and my age group is more and more lazy than ever. Everybody wants things done for them today. No sense of pride at the end of the day when you've busted your balls for a paycheck.

Could also be case of having something to prove due to who you are. It's a psychological thing that we all do at one point or another. As a young white male... well I don't have a whole lot of profiles going against me. But as a 20 year old I have to prove that age is only a number and that my responsibility, fidelity, and determination put me at a much higher maturity level.

Women are seen as the weaker bunch. We all do it. I'm guilty of this. Sometimes I look down on females as a whole (I just did it at the beginning of the post, irony irony) So they have more of a reason to prove that they are just as intelligent, responsible, and dependable as me or any other man.

I like those girls who go for the 'adventurous' type, hell I worked with a girl who was dating a 26 year old who wasn't in school and still lived with his parents and didn't work. The guy looked like scum and she said that she liked him that way.

Made me wonder why, but then again I can't understand people sometimes. I also know a girl who's dating a "tattoo artist", seriously the guy is a hack and then again I can't understand why someone would want to date something like that. I'm hoping it isn't that whole "bad-boy" thing because I can't stand that whole attitude and I don't think I could fake it.

Women aren't drawn to the actual bad boy element as much as the confidence with a touch of mystery. You can be a decent, reasonable person and still give that appeal (or the parts that count anyway). If you let yourself slip into the background, you aren't going to be notices.

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:Women aren't drawn to the actual bad boy element as much as the confidence with a touch of mystery. You can be a decent, reasonable person and still give that appeal (or the parts that count anyway). If you let yourself slip into the background, you aren't going to be notices.

So my ninja activities won't win me anyone right?

So what all guys need to is grease our hair and act with alot of confidence with a touch mystery? Doesn't sound too hard. There we go men are saved.

And then everyone looks like the guys off of the Jersey Shore.

halonachos wrote:And then everyone looks like the guys off of the Jersey Shore.

No you have to grease yourself and you have to swear at everyone, and what mystery is their to them? How they dry their hair?
And then you have to be actually from new jersey. Of course the governor has refused funding to that show so humanity is saved.

Asherian Command wrote:

halonachos wrote:And then everyone looks like the guys off of the Jersey Shore.

No you have to grease yourself and you have to swear at everyone, and what mystery is their to them? How they dry their hair?
And then you have to be actually from new jersey. Of course the governor has refused funding to that show so humanity is saved.

Dang, I just bought a ton of hair grease and fake tan spray although that may have hurt my odds in the end. Here's to Russian brides, man talk about marriage costing a lot.

halonachos wrote:

Asherian Command wrote:

halonachos wrote:And then everyone looks like the guys off of the Jersey Shore.

No you have to grease yourself and you have to swear at everyone, and what mystery is their to them? How they dry their hair?
And then you have to be actually from new jersey. Of course the governor has refused funding to that show so humanity is saved.

Dang, I just bought a ton of hair grease and fake tan spray although that may have hurt my odds in the end. Here's to Russian brides, man talk about marriage costing a lot.

fake tan spray is highly explosive do it! It ruins solves ever relationship!

Videogamers, I have a message for you.

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:Women aren't drawn to the actual bad boy element as much as the confidence with a touch of mystery. You can be a decent, reasonable person and still give that appeal (or the parts that count anyway).

Of course, its much harder to do.

Cheesecat wrote:

Polonius wrote:
On the other hand, every time I have sex with a new person, I only become more successful.

Wait, you're a gigolo?

No, but I have a lot of married friends who live vicariously through me.

Zyllos wrote:

Frazzled wrote:None of those my man. My point is referring to voluntarily having children without the greater stability of marriage. After all, kids are a 20+ year commitment. "Baby daddy" isn't going to cut it.

Hmm, maybe I mistyped my post but I think I was saying the same thing? I want a marriage before having children but was commenting how Dogma and Polonius asked some important questions about how my generation seems to not care about these things.

I'm not sure our generation cares any less, it's just that the pressure to marry isn't there, and the risks are much higher.

I'm 31 years old. I don't want to have children. I have a career starting out. What do I gain from marriage (as opposed to either cohabitation or just moving through women), and what do I risk?

I do gain some stability (and I do mean some). I also risk huge financial losses, a loss of financial and professional freedom, and I have to give up a lifestyle I've become accustomed to.

Maybe some day I'll be ready to settle down, but I feel like I've developed into a person already, and I'm probably not going to change any time soon.

Polonius wrote:

Cheesecat wrote:

Polonius wrote:
On the other hand, every time I have sex with a new person, I only become more successful.

Wait, you're a gigolo?

No, but I have a lot of married friends who live vicariously through me.

Sounds like a cool set up, so long as you don't get caught by the wrong person.

Cheesecat wrote:

Polonius wrote:

Cheesecat wrote:

Polonius wrote:
On the other hand, every time I have sex with a new person, I only become more successful.

Wait, you're a gigolo?

No, but I have a lot of married friends who live vicariously through me.

Sounds like a cool set up, so long as you don't get caught by the wrong person.

Well, I have a girlfriend now, so I'm at least staying monogamous these days.

dogma wrote:

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:Women aren't drawn to the actual bad boy element as much as the confidence with a touch of mystery. You can be a decent, reasonable person and still give that appeal (or the parts that count anyway).

Of course, its much harder to do.

I know I'm me, but I honestly have to ask "why?" It's really not that hard to make oneself not act like an emotional/social fethtard. Look in the mirror and do some cursory viewing of yourself from the third person and ask what is wrong with you then fix it. Is it really that challenging?

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:Look in the mirror and do some cursory viewing of yourself from the third person and ask what is wrong with you then fix it. Is it really that challenging?

That is far beyond what most people are willing (or even able) to do.

Nerivant wrote:

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:Look in the mirror and do some cursory viewing of yourself from the third person and ask what is wrong with you then fix it. Is it really that challenging?

That is far beyond what most people are willing (or even able) to do.

I'm going to have to disagree. It's called giving a gak. If you find yourself unable to do it, spend 10 minutes attempting to and you'll figure out how. (Obviously aimed at the ambiguous "you" )

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:

Nerivant wrote:

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:Look in the mirror and do some cursory viewing of yourself from the third person and ask what is wrong with you then fix it. Is it really that challenging?

That is far beyond what most people are willing (or even able) to do.

I'm going to have to disagree. It's called giving a gak. If you find yourself unable to do it, spend 10 minutes attempting to and you'll figure out how. (Obviously aimed at the ambiguous "you" )

What if you're an optimistic person who has a positive view about yourself?

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:

Nerivant wrote:

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:Look in the mirror and do some cursory viewing of yourself from the third person and ask what is wrong with you then fix it. Is it really that challenging?

That is far beyond what most people are willing (or even able) to do.

I'm going to have to disagree. It's called giving a gak. If you find yourself unable to do it, spend 10 minutes attempting to and you'll figure out how. (Obviously aimed at the ambiguous "you" )

10 minutes won't change a lifetime of "you're special, and someday, someone will come along who loves you for who you want to be."

Cheesecat wrote:
What if you're an optimistic person who has a positive about yourself?

That has absolutely zero to do with being objective about your faults and comes off as a lame excuse for not fixing them. That's my initial reaction.

Nerivant wrote:
10 minutes won't change a lifetime of "you're special, and someday, someone will come along who loves you for who you want to be."

The right 10 minutes will. Deprogramming is difficult but by no means impossible.

Next comes the inevitable "well what if I'm happy with myself the way I am?" I then respond by saying you should never complain about anything, ever, until you're willing to change to make it better.

Some column writer seems real shocked that men, in general, seem to have noticed the divorce rate, and results of being hit with a divorce, and the rate at which males get stuck with the bill but not custody of children, and stopped bothering with the whole mess.

Frankly, after seeing the marriages I have growing up, from my parents to my friends....Why in the name of God and the Emperor would I want to engage in this? Because someone ELSE thinks it builds character? Is this like one of those times where one person telling another "GO GET A REAL JOB!" really means "YOU SHOULD BE AS UNHAPPY AS I AM!"? It sure sounds like it!

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:

Nerivant wrote:
10 minutes won't change a lifetime of "you're special, and someday, someone will come along who loves you for who you want to be."

The right 10 minutes will. Deprogramming is difficult but by no means impossible.

Next comes the inevitable "well what if I'm happy with myself the way I am?" I then respond by saying you should never complain about anything, ever, until you're willing to change to make it better.

Assuming you know what I'm going to post next is a bit arrogant, don't you think?

Self-improvement no longer has a meaning to today's generation. I blame the internet.

I think it will take more than a few minutes to change one's own personality and self. Maybe it'll take ten minutes to realize that you have faults, but the actual work is a lot longer.

Nerivant wrote:

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:

Nerivant wrote:
10 minutes won't change a lifetime of "you're special, and someday, someone will come along who loves you for who you want to be."

The right 10 minutes will. Deprogramming is difficult but by no means impossible.

Next comes the inevitable "well what if I'm happy with myself the way I am?" I then respond by saying you should never complain about anything, ever, until you're willing to change to make it better.

Assuming you know what I'm going to post next is a bit arrogant, don't you think?

Self-improvement no longer has a meaning to today's generation. I blame the internet.

I think it depends on what you mean by self-improvement like personality, financial position, social life, ect some of those qualities may be more or less relevant nowadays.

Cheesecat wrote:
I think it depends on what you mean by self-improvement like personality, financial position, social life, ect some of those qualities may be more or less relevant nowadays.

I've never considered financial concerns to be part of the "self." I'm referring to things like personality, social skills, and the like.

Nerivant wrote:

Cheesecat wrote:
I think it depends on what you mean by self-improvement like personality, financial position, social life, ect some of those qualities may be more or less relevant nowadays.

I've never considered financial concerns to be part of the "self." I'm referring to things like personality, social skills, and the like.

I consider any improvement to one's self, self-improvement.

Nerivant wrote:

Cannerus_The_Unbearable wrote:

Nerivant wrote:
10 minutes won't change a lifetime of "you're special, and someday, someone will come along who loves you for who you want to be."

The right 10 minutes will. Deprogramming is difficult but by no means impossible.

Next comes the inevitable "well what if I'm happy with myself the way I am?" I then respond by saying you should never complain about anything, ever, until you're willing to change to make it better.

Assuming you know what I'm going to post next is a bit arrogant, don't you think?

Self-improvement no longer has a meaning to today's generation. I blame the internet.

I already gave my disclaimer that any use of the word you is an ambiguous you, not any specific person in the thread

And yes it takes longer than 10 minutes to change, but it takes only a split second to gain a new perspective that leads to the change. Technicalities don't matter near as much as people taking responsibility for their own faults if they're doing nothing to acknowledge, let alone fix them.