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 Frazzled wrote:

 Do_I_Not_Like_That wrote:
[
I don't blame the Americans on this site for being paranoid, the constant fear of a UN invasion is hanging over them

In my defense I do get black helicopters flying over my house on a weekly basis.

I'll stop my surveillance when you stop training that Dachshund militia

I'm taking Frazzled is the crazy regular?

And this may be a little off topic but you guys are the regulars, who's doomthumb?

 spanner4000 wrote:
I'm taking Frazzled is the crazy regular?

And this may be a little off topic but you guys are the regulars, who's doomthumb?

Whats crazy about it? I live just south of Fort Hood.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

Mattman154 wrote:

 Frazzled wrote:

 Do_I_Not_Like_That wrote:
[
I don't blame the Americans on this site for being paranoid, the constant fear of a UN invasion is hanging over them

In my defense I do get black helicopters flying over my house on a weekly basis.

I'll stop my surveillance when you stop training that Dachshund militia

Your surveillance is for nought. The wiener legions are already onto you, and have employed their innate burrowing power. As we speak, a vast tunnel complex is spreading below Texas, with offshoot invasion tunnels to Wales, Saxony, Rio De Jeniero, and Manchuria.

Have you read your little paragraph recently?
You talk about airborne dachshunds, a weiner in your wallet and Dachshundskrieg.

No I don't know how you work across the pond but that sounds a little bit crazy.


And that little amusing bit about you tunneling dachshunds. Which are now heading across the globe.

 spanner4000 wrote:
Have you read your little paragraph recently?
You talk about airborne dachshunds, a weiner in your wallet and Dachshundskrieg.

No I don't know how you work across the pond but that sounds a little bit crazy.


And that little amusing bit about you tunneling dachshunds. Which are now heading across the globe.

Clearly you are a cat lover, or worse in league with the squirrel people. I'm sorry to say, it will not end well for you when the Great Wienerdog comes. There's still time though, just renounce your allegiance to the dark ones and take up the true cause of wiener dog superiority.



Oh and I'm not crazy. I'm Texan.

I... I don't know how to respond to that.

I have a dog? Does that help?

 spanner4000 wrote:

I... I don't know how to respond to that.

I have a dog? Does that help?

Of course it does. Team Wienie recognizes all our canine brothers.

I have a friend that, and this is a true story, chased off a burgular with a katana. I asked him why he didn't use his handgun.

His answer:

"If I kill him, he won't learn nothin'."

frazzled - Please stop, your scaring me.

and Monster rain, Your friend is the man I strive to become

 spanner4000 wrote:
frazzled - Please stop, your scaring me.

and Monster rain, Your friend is the man I strive to become

Now you're making Team Wienie nervous. We'll have to keep an eye on you.

 Frazzled wrote:
Your surveillance is for nought. The wiener legions are already onto you, and have employed their innate burrowing power. As we speak, a vast tunnel complex is spreading below Texas, with offshoot invasion tunnels to Wales, Saxony, Rio De Jeniero, and Manchuria.

Jokes on you, I'm in the Pacific Northwest!

Thats ok. Our allies the otters (aka sea wienies) have triangulated your location. Just stay where you are and it will all be over soon.

 azazel the cat wrote:

Frazzled wrote:You need to look up the laws in your local jurisdiction and not rely on the internet for this.

Frazzled's advice is the only post in the thread that you should listen to. I just threw up in my mouth.

Is this why so many people were shocked when you gave this advise? I understand it a bit better now.

You, good sir, are a crazy person. And so is your dachshund army.

 spanner4000 wrote:

 azazel the cat wrote:

Frazzled wrote:You need to look up the laws in your local jurisdiction and not rely on the internet for this.

Frazzled's advice is the only post in the thread that you should listen to. I just threw up in my mouth.

Is this why so many people were shocked when you gave this advise? I understand it a bit better now.

You, good sir, are a crazy person. And so is your dachshund army.

From Frazz's signature block:

-"Don't mind Frazzled. He's just Dakka's crazy old dude locked in the attic. He's harmless. Mostly."

 Frazzled wrote:
Thats ok. Our allies the otters (aka sea wienies) have triangulated your location. Just stay where you are and it will all be over soon.

But... They're so cute!

That they are.

And so bitey

Thats why they are cute.

Now lets say you're worried about your house. Would you be worried if you had 15-30 ferocious BADGER DOGS on guard, standing vigil over your property? After all BADGER DOGS are just cute land piranhas with bad attitudes and Napoleonic complexes.

 Frazzled wrote:
Thats why they are cute.

Now lets say you're worried about your house. Would you be worried if you had 15-30 ferocious BADGER DOGS on guard, standing vigil over your property? After all BADGER DOGS are just cute land piranhas with bad attitudes and Napoleonic complexes.

And they're completely and utterly fearless. My dachshund is a mini and it's taken on dogs five times her size, belligerent snapping turtles, canadians, and even an eagle.

Fearless I tell ya.

To me a sword advertises that you are an idiot not up to Life (TM), and you're about to have 10-15 holes in you. Also the thought of a woman with a sword is utterly laughable.

Wow. And this tells me what kind of person you are like, too.

This is how I deal with home intruders:

@ frazzled: what is that on the slide? looks like doo doo.

on a more serious note, I also was visited by thieves last night. Jerks took my stereo from my truck. best part was that they knew what to take and how to take it. Subwoofer and speakers were bolted down to the floor and had different sized bolts. The sheriff's department forgot about my call too, dispatch said it my report was still pending after 3 or so hours. So I called it off, not like they could do anything at that point.

Scum bags are gonna be scum bags...

Wow, did you still make a report? Hope your insurance has your back for part of it at least.

 AegisGrimm wrote:

To me a sword advertises that you are an idiot not up to Life (TM), and you're about to have 10-15 holes in you. Also the thought of a woman with a sword is utterly laughable.

Wow. And this tells me what kind of person you are like, too.

One who has a tangential tie with reality and not predisposed to put on a clown suit and wield tuperware against home intruders?


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 Coolyo294 wrote:

 Frazzled wrote:
Thats why they are cute.

Now lets say you're worried about your house. Would you be worried if you had 15-30 ferocious BADGER DOGS on guard, standing vigil over your property? After all BADGER DOGS are just cute land piranhas with bad attitudes and Napoleonic complexes.

And they're completely and utterly fearless. My dachshund is a mini and it's taken on dogs five times her size, belligerent snapping turtles, canadians, and even an eagle.

Fearless I tell ya.

Yes the guy in the office next to me, already having three, just decided to foster three more (including whitehairs-really old ones). EPIC!


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 tyrant of loserville wrote:
@ frazzled: what is that on the slide? looks like doo doo.

Wet leaves actually. This is a pic from the before time, the time when it rained. Not like now.

on a more serious note, I also was visited by thieves last night. Jerks took my stereo from my truck. best part was that they knew what to take and how to take it. Subwoofer and speakers were bolted down to the floor and had different sized bolts. The sheriff's department forgot about my call too, dispatch said it my report was still pending after 3 or so hours. So I called it off, not like they could do anything at that point.

Scum bags are gonna be scum bags...

I feel for you. I've had two radios stolen. It sucks.

 Frazzled wrote:

Your surveillance is for nought. The wiener legions are already onto you, and have employed their innate burrowing power. As we speak, a vast tunnel complex is spreading below Texas, with offshoot invasion tunnels to Wales, Saxony, Rio De Jeniero, and Manchuria.

If you mean British Wales, then all is OK. Us English are happy to let you try and get past those crazy buggers.

spanner4000 wrote:
And this may be a little off topic but you guys are the regulars, who's doomthumb?

Good job you're in the off-topic forum.

Or just keep a cricket wicket in your boot and one in the upper lift and go all aces and eights on the burglar.

 DeathReaper wrote:
Or just keep a cricket wicket in your boot and one in the upper lift and go all aces and eights on the burglar.

How would a cricket help?

I think he means one of these:

 DeathReaper wrote:
Or just keep a cricket wicket in your boot and one in the upper lift and go all aces and eights on the burglar.

I feel like you mean "stump" not wicket.

 KalashnikovMarine wrote:

 DeathReaper wrote:
cricket wicket

How would a cricket help?

Not a cricket, read it again.

Though I really have no idea what I said in that last post, I had been drinking. (But the Noisy Cricket would do the job just right, and I have no idea what the pic of the cricket is supposed to mean).

However just keep a few Baseball bats (Or whatever you call them in the UK) in strategic locations around the house so one is always close.