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I think a cricket bat would be of more use than a wicket...
Also baseball bats are called baseball bats in the UK...

 purplefood wrote:
I think a cricket bat would be of more use than a wicket...
Also baseball bats are called baseball bats in the UK...

I dunno I guess if you had like three wickets in your house a burglar might wonder of you had as many bats.

 AustonT wrote:

 purplefood wrote:
I think a cricket bat would be of more use than a wicket...
Also baseball bats are called baseball bats in the UK...

I dunno I guess if you had like three wickets in your house a burglar might wonder of you had as many bats.

Why would have have more than 1?

 AustonT wrote:

 purplefood wrote:
I think a cricket bat would be of more use than a wicket...
Also baseball bats are called baseball bats in the UK...

I dunno I guess if you had like three wickets in your house a burglar might wonder of you had as many bats.

So I'm guessing we are not talking about the little arches in croque? Because that is what I understood wickets to be. You could probably stab someone with one of those if you really tried.

purplefood wrote:

 AustonT wrote:

 purplefood wrote:
I think a cricket bat would be of more use than a wicket...
Also baseball bats are called baseball bats in the UK...

I dunno I guess if you had like three wickets in your house a burglar might wonder of you had as many bats.

Why would have have more than 1?

Perhaps if you were some kind of community sports organizer? Or perhaps you like to have spares.

rubiksnoob wrote:

 AustonT wrote:

 purplefood wrote:
I think a cricket bat would be of more use than a wicket...
Also baseball bats are called baseball bats in the UK...

I dunno I guess if you had like three wickets in your house a burglar might wonder of you had as many bats.

So I'm guessing we are not talking about the little arches in croque? Because that is what I understood wickets to be. You could probably stab someone with one of those if you really tried.

A wicket is an assembly of three stumps and two bridges. The stumps are essentially medium length sharpened sticks. If pressed each stump could probably do as a weapon.

 rubiksnoob wrote:

 AustonT wrote:

 purplefood wrote:
I think a cricket bat would be of more use than a wicket...
Also baseball bats are called baseball bats in the UK...

I dunno I guess if you had like three wickets in your house a burglar might wonder of you had as many bats.

So I'm guessing we are not talking about the little arches in croque? Because that is what I understood wickets to be. You could probably stab someone with one of those if you really tried.

The wickets are the entire thing...
I mean you could have a go at someone with them but a cricket bat would be far more useful...

If we're going to try to kill or incapacitate someone with an article of outdoor recreational sports equipment, I suggest Lawn Darts.

The fact that I, or any of my friends, cousins or siblings, were never killed with one of those things is a bit of a miracle.

Honorable mention goes to bludgeoning them with a bocce ball.

Lawn darts are probably the most flying rodent gak insane piece of sporting equipment known to man.

You can hunt ELK with them.



Lawn darts



Elk taken out with lawn dart's slightly longer and thinner cousin, also called AN ARROW.

Back in the day, cricket stumps often had sharpened metal tips to help the stick in the ground better, but some guy got impaled by one in a freak accident and it was figured that was probably a bad idea. These days they're fairly blunt. Still a fairly hefty piece of wood, though, slightly less meat than a baseball so okay in a pinch but it's still a piece of wood you can swing pretty hard.

Get some of those old stumps, though, and you've basically got a short spear.

I would advise the usage of exessive force but then again thats just plain old homicidal me. Heres a peice of advice i picked up off my maths teacher: Keep your guns cleaning kit out. That way you can say you couldnt sleep and had just finished cleaning your rifle/shotgun/pistol and had just loaded it to check you had assembled it correctly when you heard the intruder/suspicous sounds. You went to investigate, he came at you, and you acted on instinct and shot him.

Alternatively a length of chain is very useful. Just remember to practice with it.

Oh and despite what Frazz says a sword is a vary good deterent. Imagine a huge guy wielding a sword-in my case a Bastard Sword but your choice may vary-charging towards you screaming out a blood curdling battle cry. Scary huh?

And i should mention that i have the capability to build claymores-they are probably the most effective deterrent ever-even if you dont get them all the sight of the burglars comrades being reduced to a red mist and a few scraps of tattered flesh will most liklely cause them to flee.

Oh and Frazz-should your weenies be most unfourtunate to end up in England then they will face the amassed might and feline fury of the Royal Cat Regiments (RCR)

 purplefood wrote:
Why would have have more than 1?

Cricket bats? I was strictly amateur grade and I don't even play anymore but I've still got 4 in my house.

A decent bat these days will last you somewhere between half a season (if you're really good) and three years (if you're pretty average). And then you don't just buy a bat and start using it, then chuch it when its done. You have to knock it in, starting with hitting it with an old ball for a few hours, then using it in the nets against old balls, before finally using it in the middle. And when a bat has lost it's middle and isn't at its best anymore you still hold on to them, in case they new bat cracks and you need a replacement, or just because you made your first hundred with that bat and you don't want to let it go.

 sebster wrote:

 purplefood wrote:
Why would have have more than 1?

Cricket bats? I was strictly amateur grade and I don't even play anymore but I've still got 4 in my house.

A decent bat these days will last you somewhere between half a season (if you're really good) and three years (if you're pretty average). And then you don't just buy a bat and start using it, then chuch it when its done. You have to knock it in, starting with hitting it with an old ball for a few hours, then using it in the nets against old balls, before finally using it in the middle. And when a bat has lost it's middle and isn't at its best anymore you still hold on to them, in case they new bat cracks and you need a replacement, or just because you made your first hundred with that bat and you don't want to let it go.

No, wickets...

I can't tell you what to do that hasn't already been done well already. I'd just like to chime in with what I did, in my situation.

About 2 years ago, we decided we needed some sort of home defense plan for my house. We thought about all the options. We decided the person most likely to break into our house would be my wife's ex's brother Carl; who sometimes does off jobs around our place. Carl's also addicted to painkillers, since he has a bad back and has no insurance. It seemed gauche to kill someone in that situation; so we got a Taser C2. We've never needed to use it, save for the self-tests you perform periodically.

 master of ordinance wrote:
I would advise the usage of exessive force but then again thats just plain old homicidal me.

Never leave an intruder alive to sue you for their medical bills.

You could end up owing him hundreds of thousands in medical costs.

Better to extinguish the low-life and tell the police it was dark, you were scared, heard a noise and the intruder came at you so you defended yourself.

The Taxpayers will thank you for not having to pay for that intruder to rot in a jail cell.

 DeathReaper wrote:

 master of ordinance wrote:
I would advise the usage of exessive force but then again thats just plain old homicidal me.

Never leave an intruder alive to sue you for their medical bills.

You could end up owing him hundreds of thousands in medical costs.

Better to extinguish the low-life and tell the police it was dark, you were scared, heard a noise and the intruder came at you so you defended yourself.

The Taxpayers will thank you for not having to pay for that intruder to rot in a jail cell.

In the UK you don't pay his medical costs, the state does

 Hlaine Larkin mk2 wrote:

 DeathReaper wrote:

 master of ordinance wrote:
I would advise the usage of exessive force but then again thats just plain old homicidal me.

Never leave an intruder alive to sue you for their medical bills.

You could end up owing him hundreds of thousands in medical costs.

Better to extinguish the low-life and tell the police it was dark, you were scared, heard a noise and the intruder came at you so you defended yourself.

The Taxpayers will thank you for not having to pay for that intruder to rot in a jail cell.

In the UK you don't pay his medical costs, the state does

Yes, but he could sue you for the trauma and mental aggrivation his injury will cause him for the rest of his life.

At least you can in the US anyway, as evidenced by a case that happened a year ago. It was talked about on Dakka actually.


Guy broke into a house, a fight broke out, which the intruder lost prety badly. He then sued the homeowner for damages and won.

whether or not you can sue for damages will depend where you commit it as Scotland has a different laws and therefore different Judicial Prescidents so the judge would rule on previous rulings