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http://aconissa.tumblr.com/post/92749680218/what-is-50-shades-of-grey-about-and-whats-so-bad

anonymous said:

What is 50 shades of grey about? And what's so bad about it?

aconissa answered:

50 Shades of Grey was originally fanfiction based on the Twilight series, which was then published as a novel (along with 2 subsequent books). It sold over 100 million copies around the world and topped best-seller lists everywhere. It’s about to be adapted into a film, set to come out early next year.

It follows a college student named Ana Steele, who enters a relationship with a man named Christian Grey and is then introduced to a bastardised and abusive parody of BDSM culture.

While the book is paraded as erotica, the relationship between Ana and Christian is far from healthy. The core mantra of the BDSM community is “safe, sane and consensual”, and 50 Shades is anything but. None of the rules of BDSM practices (which are put in place to protect those involved) are actually upheld. Christian is controlling, manipulative, abusive, takes complete advantage of Ana, ignores safe-words, ignores consent, keeps her uneducated about the sexual practices they’re taking part in, and a multitude of other terrible things. Their relationship is completely sickening and unhealthy.

Spoiler:

Basically, “the book is a glaring glamorisation of violence against women,” as Amy Bonomi so perfectly put it.

It’s terrible enough that a book like this has been absorbed by people worldwide. Now, we have a film that is expected to be a huge box-office success, and will likely convince countless more young women that it’s okay not to have any autonomy in a relationship, that a man is allowed to control them entirely. It will also show many young men that women are theirs to play with and dominate, thus contributing to antiquated patriarchal values and rape culture.

EDIT: Spoilered the 'angry' part so maybe some folks can discuss the more logical parts... I didn't outright take it out because maybe some folks would like to discuss the 'angry' part as well.

Riiiight. We all live our lives according to lessons taken from our favorite movies. That's why there is a sudden spike in maniacal geniuses with elaborate Rube Goldberg-esque murder machines.

It's just a book/film. It's not going to wreck society anymore than any other work of fiction.

Glamorization of violence against women in a book written by a woman and mainly consumed by other women--quite the conundrum!

I've often wondered if this book would have been as successful if it had been written by a man. I don't think it would have been for the reasons mentioned in the tumblr blog above.

feeder wrote:
Riiiight. We all live our lives according to lessons taken from our favorite movies. That's why there is a sudden spike in maniacal geniuses with elaborate Rube Goldberg-esque murder machines.

It's just a book/film. It's not going to wreck society anymore than any other work of fiction.

You're right we don't ALL live our lives according to media. But some do sadly... and those bad apples can ruin the legitimate communities being portrayed by some movies/books.

What started out as a perfectly logical point quickly devolved into typical 'SJW vs The World (AKA The Patriarchy)' tumblr crap.

Oh well.

Haha Avatar pretty much has me pinned.... maybe this wasn't the best place for this.

Groups of people make very different decisions than individual people make. Anybody that writes off the idea that this type of book has an impact on society at large is ignorant of how marketing, psychology, and cultural conditioning works. I'm not saying EVERY consequence is present and can be proven, but to say it has no effect because there are no drastic examples of it is pure idealism and naivete.

Fifty shades of what now?

Yeaaaahhhhh I kind of regret starting this thread now...

...I yellow triangle'd it but so far I haven't seen any mod interaction.

It's not so much the place you post it, but what you're posting. The actual point that it makes a mockery of BDSM practices is one that's hardly going to be unfelt given just how much BDSM equipment was bought and sold after the book release; treating it and the film as a sort of 'BDSM for Dummies' isn't the right way to go about it given just how much of what is described therein is made up of complete and utter untruths.

However, to tack on that it'll serve to empower men and promote 'patriarchal values' and 'rape culture' completely dilutes the point, and only uses it as a springboard. It's one thing for it to teach people the wrong way to go about BDSM, but it's quite another to say it'll turn women into passive play-things and men into quasi-rapists.

Yes, things need to be done about just how male-dominated the world is; no, not everything is a sign of the patriarchy and rape culture. There are many, many people who can see and appreciate that there's a line, but the few who cannot are often the ones who shout - and write, and type - the loudest.

This person has made a valid point, but has tarnished it by making a ridiculous leap of logic at the end.

 djphranq wrote:

feeder wrote:
Riiiight. We all live our lives according to lessons taken from our favorite movies. That's why there is a sudden spike in maniacal geniuses with elaborate Rube Goldberg-esque murder machines.

It's just a book/film. It's not going to wreck society anymore than any other work of fiction.

You're right we don't ALL live our lives according to media. But some do sadly... and those bad apples can ruin the legitimate communities being portrayed by some movies/books.

Is this thread about you wanting to tell Dakka that you're into BDSM?

 Avatar 720 wrote:

This person has made a valid point, but has tarnished it by making a ridiculous leap of logic at the end.

Yeah... I see what you're saying... I still regret bothering to post it at all though.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 Medium of Death wrote:

Is this thread about you wanting to tell Dakka that you're into BDSM?

*rolls die*

I'm sorry but the answer to that question was too much for your investigation skill. I'm afraid I can't answer. Really sorry.

 djphranq wrote:

 Avatar 720 wrote:

This person has made a valid point, but has tarnished it by making a ridiculous leap of logic at the end.

Yeah... I see what you're saying... I still regret bothering to post it at all though.

Spoiler:

Or maybe I should have taken out her 'rawr! Women iz victims! Menz iz evil!' part at the end.

If the focus is meant to be on its effects on the BDSM community, then it might be worth editing the last bit out, and requesting that the thread just be swept. The BDSM part is, after all, the logical bit.

 Avatar 720 wrote:

 djphranq wrote:

 Avatar 720 wrote:

This person has made a valid point, but has tarnished it by making a ridiculous leap of logic at the end.

Yeah... I see what you're saying... I still regret bothering to post it at all though.

Spoiler:

Or maybe I should have taken out her 'rawr! Women iz victims! Menz iz evil!' part at the end.

If the focus is meant to be on its effects on the BDSM community, then it might be worth editing the last bit out, and requesting that the thread just be sweeped. The BDSM part is, after all, the logical bit.

I know right? when I made the topic I yellow triangled it right away... I'm kind of praying to Cthulhu right now that something swallows this topic whole... I feel so embarrassed... I should have read thoroughly what I was posting haha.

Can we salvage this thread so you don't feel embarrassed?

I would genuinely like to discuss BDSM portrayals in pop culture since it is so often misrepresented.

For example, the movie Secretary. Was that a closer representation of a functional BDSM relationship than the one between Ms. Steele and Mr. Grey?

Not necessarily directing this question at you, djphranq, but to Dakka in general.

There! Edited the OP...

*reads through it*

*shakes head at stupid attempt at cover up*

Christian Grey is the kind of person the community always warned you about. That said, as long as people aren't using him as a reference for how to act and it encourages some self-exploration, it'll be okay.

But as you're self-exploring, don't use that relationship or its practices as a model. Seek out some better advice instead.

Personally I haven't watched 'Secretary'... I've been meaning to since it first came out. I wanted to see how they portrayed the dynamics of BDSM culture... I've just never gotten around to it.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 HiveFleetPlastic wrote:

But as you're self-exploring, don't use that relationship or its practices as a model. Seek out some better advice instead.

Well said. I try to convey that to people when they express interest in the world of BDSM which is why kind of why I wanted to post this... but I totally missed some of the more 'editorial' part of the post.

It has been a few years since I watched Secretary, but at the time both characters struck me as individually slightly broken, or perhaps it would be better to say that they were both lacking something that was fulfilled by the other person. When they came together and played out their roles they became whole.

I found it to be a rather sweet love story.

 Avatar 720 wrote:
It's not so much the place you post it, but what you're posting. The actual point that it makes a mockery of BDSM practices is one that's hardly going to be unfelt given just how much BDSM equipment was bought and sold after the book release; treating it and the film as a sort of 'BDSM for Dummies' isn't the right way to go about it given just how much of what is described therein is made up of complete and utter untruths.

Really really gakky equipment, sold entirely on the fact it had "50 shades of Grey" written on it

I liked Secretary quite a bit; but I have not read 50 Shades of Grey.

Wow. A post from tumblr that's railing against the mistreatment of women. That's so unlike them.

 H.B.M.C. wrote:
Wow. A post from tumblr that's railing against the mistreatment of women. That's so unlike them.

To be fair; the contents of 50 Shades of Gray differ so much from actual BDSM practice that they do move into abuse; which strikes me as something that should be considered "okay" to complain about.

I don't like the idea/pracitce on these forums that if you express an opinion on something that is happening in society that you don't like, if you're not a member of the afflicted group, you're dismissed as a social justice warrior. I think it's sort of lazy and that it's OK to say something is messed up even if it could not happen to you, whether it be your nationality depicted as a little red sambo, or media that depicts your sex as being happiest when subservient to others.

I can tell you that's hurting the BDSM community a little bit... When the books came out there was an influx of folks who were expecting this sort of fantasy without examining the actual aspects to the community... I'm just really scared what the movie might do.... well more exactly I'm really scared what uneducated people who watch the movie might do... or something like that... (I'm really not great at these serious topics and such).

Here's what they wrote about the trailer on AICN.

The trailer for FIFTY SHADES OF GREY is here, and if it don't make you wanna curl up by the space heater with a Solo cupful of Boone's and a volume of TWILIGHT slash-fic, then you're a properly functioning human being. I've always heard that these books were poorly written. Judging from the dialogue in the below trailer, their awfulness was undersold.

 Ouze wrote:
I don't like the idea/pracitce on these forums that if you express an opinion on something that is happening in society that you don't like, if you're not a member of the afflicted group, you're dismissed as a social justice warrior. I think it's sort of lazy and that it's OK to say something is messed up even if it could not happen to you, whether it be your nationality depicted as a little red sambo, or media that depicts your sex as being happiest when subservient to others.

As the only person on this thread to bring up the term SWJ, I'm not sure if this is a general gripe about the forum as a whole, or the world's most obvious indirect, even if I am actually agreeing with the point this thread is making...

It was a general reflection on several previous forum threads, and not you personally - sorry that wasn't more clear. I dislike that it's often thrown out as a way of dismissing an entire point instead of actually addressing whatever the point was.

I don't get the angst... really.

If folks are worried about how it puts the BDSM in poor light... educate the masses then.

*shrug*

This book is simply "porn" for chicks. Let 'em have their fun.

I like the cut of this guy's jib:

I just think it's disgusting that the romantic interest is a white cisgendered penis-bearer. It's 2014, people.