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I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this, but if I'm wrong, I'm sure a Mod will move this!
So, I'm sure a lot of you have thought of this, maybe some of you have tried (hey, good for you!!), but I think that it would be a good idea if we all post our diabolical schemes and plots for Word Domination here, no matter how simple or convoluted!
So, all you wannabe rulers, please feel free to write your plans below!

Control world debt.

By being nice to people they'll like me enough to make me ruler of earth.

i'd get the guy who made facebook to brainwash the whole world to like me

I'd do this by threatening to flay his family alive in front of him

after that id start a war between those brainwashed and the non-facebookers

I'd make that the war would kill most of the world's population

i'd would then appear and make it look like im some sort of reborn jesus

then id take the world

then id flay the guy who made facebook

and replace every sentence with flaying so all crime is punishable by flaying

Not offer SAFCON
Consider every military Dezgra
Disallow bidding amongst my Galaxy Commanders

No matter the plan, I will die long before I reap any benefit. Gaining office takes a long time as does fighting wars to gain territories. Man power will run out unless my new territories are loyal to me. Alliances will need to be held dearly so I would need to win the propaganda war to keep any support I have. My sons will have to be intelligent and diligent to carry on the wars properly.

Of course living in NZ would be the biggest obstacle.

All in all, its simply not feasible. The world is too big and its people too complicated.

So how would I take over the world? Realistically I have no idea.

Unrealistically I would use the innocence of my country as a guise and slowly expand through the pacific. Using those islands as zones of control in the ocean and airbases for my hopefully growing airforce I will soon strike areas of asia looking for resource rich areas.

I will invent a new tactic of guerrilla invasion. Its like guerilla warfare but used offensively. In stupid theory this will mitigate my nations low population allowing me to take on the peoples of asia.

Breeding programs will be enforced along with the draft. All men coming into the military must leave behind at least one pregnant women. New centers will open up as women work my factories and babies are raised by my state. These babies will be split as the men are raised for warfare and breeding whilst the women are raised for childbirth and factory conditions.

I will have 2 backup plans for my heirs, 1 will be indoctrination of my future seed and intense training to be a superior leader. If I manage to work out a way or preserving my life/mind then he will simply become a high ranking person who doesnt steal my job.

As the wars in asia rage the leading powers will condemn my actions. To counter the embargoes I will set up a puppet island state who will request aid and send a portion of aid and resources to my mighty empire.

I will send spies to North Korea to convince their leader to instigate war as a distraction of my actions. As the North Korean war ravages in asia my new found territories will hold their ground and start their invasion of Australia making use of their mines.

Indonesia will be next as I push up through papa new Guinea and so on.

Soon the over flow of children will be ready as they join my military ranks begin a new front. The Antarctic Front. There I will plant many nukes, and threaten the world not under my control (so pretty much all of it) with the notion that I will flood the world by incineration the Antarctic.

Of course im insane by then and flood it anyway. Using an ark I will roam the seas which I now own, sharing it with my wife assuming she is still with me and not in a breeding facility dead.

The oceans will prosper under my rule.

 Sgt_Smudge wrote:
I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this, but if I'm wrong, I'm sure a Mod will move this!
So, I'm sure a lot of you have thought of this, maybe some of you have tried (hey, good for you!!), but I think that it would be a good idea if we all post our diabolical schemes and plots for Word Domination here, no matter how simple or convoluted!
So, all you wannabe rulers, please feel free to write your plans below!

You're not catching me out that easily.

Simple.

EXTERMINATE. EXTERMINATE. EXTERMINATE.

 Paradigm wrote:
Simple.

EXTERMINATE. EXTERMINATE. EXTERMINATE.

Leaving you the only male or female left?

 Jihadin wrote:

 Paradigm wrote:
Simple.

EXTERMINATE. EXTERMINATE. EXTERMINATE.

Leaving you the only male or female left?

DALEKS HAVE NO REQUIREMENT OF COMPANY. DALEKS ARE SUPREME. EXTERMINATE.

Obviously you missed the reference.

 Paradigm wrote:

 Jihadin wrote:

 Paradigm wrote:
Simple.

EXTERMINATE. EXTERMINATE. EXTERMINATE.

Leaving you the only male or female left?

DALEKS HAVE NO REQUIREMENT OF COMPANY. DALEKS ARE SUPREME. EXTERMINATE.

Obviously you missed the reference.

Really?

All I need is:
Enough money to hire a sniper
A sniper
A disease/condition that is incredibly painful and is ridiculously easy to spread around the world
The only cure to above disease/condition
A dedicated sect of mortuary workers/ coroners/ doctors
A funeral director
A very dapper suit
A bulletproof vest (capable of stopping sniper rounds)
Bags full of fake blood

Voíla.

Why on Earth would you post your world domination plans online?!

Ok, here's one of mine :p

Get a group of like minded individuals. Infiltrate the most powerful organisations and rise to their highest ranks. Priority is the Roman Catholic church and Security services (FBI for example) who can hack people's accounts. Have the high ranking Churchman claim he has spoken directly to God. Get my own people in. He tells them stuff only they could possibly know, and if anyone questions it, get the FBI-type group to find stuff out and tell those random strangers. Convince the world he can talk to God.

Meanwhile I will have leading scientists under my thumb who will work towards weather machines, time machines, rejuvanation technolgy or downloading human subconcious into a computer and reuploading it into a clone body.
Use these combinations of items to predict winning lottery numbers and the like and create storms for the "God" to predict. Once the world is convinced, he will announce the world is a sinful place and must be destroyed and restarted once more.

From the darkness a hero (me) will rise up and denounce the false god. After a brutal war I will slay the god (who lives out the rest of his life in a new clone body in Barbados) and rise to lead the human race in a war to unite all people. From there I will task my brightest minds to find a way to unlock the 90% of the brain we don't use and give my future clone body psychic powers. I will then download all information about genetic manipulation and use my newfound knowledge to create Supersoldiers I shall dub the Thunder Warriors, arm them with weapons of awesome power and power armour. I will use them to break the backs of those who dare oppose the human race and its rightful destiny among the stars.

I will then use my genetic prowess to create 20 demigods and watch over them personally. From their genetics I shall create armies of superhumans not unlike the Thunder Warriors, but made from willing humans and implanted with organs grown from the DNA of the Demigods. Using such might Warriors and technology like hyperdrives I will spread my rule amongst the stars.

Should I need to bargain with otherworldly beings for the power to create these demigods I will. If one of my sons, these Demigods I call Primarchs, decides to worship me as a God I will not slap him. Instead I will calmly explain the danger and wrongness of divinity. Instead I will seek to enlighten all my sons as to evil beyond. I will ask they have faith in me.

And if all else fails I shall remain firmly on my ass on Terra, ignoring Horus' bait to fight him and warn Sanguinius not to go, and wait for the Ultramarines to arrive.

I'd sic Frazz's wienie legion on anyone too stupid to accept me. Bones and balls to chase for all the dogs as thanks.
/thread

Id go to Africa - rich in natural resources, tons of downtrodden and misfortunate human capital, strategically located. Find myself a nice little central/west african banana republic to destabilize in a guerilla war and then conquer. Stamp out corruption, actually build infrastructure and provide services and opportunity to the populace, and in ge eral be a truly benevolent dictator. Slowly but surely the downtrodden people of other nations would flock to me, and I would arm them and lead them ina revolution as I expand my borders and influence until Ive conquered all of subsaharan africa. From there Id pincer north through east and west africa and cut across the mediteranean coast. Id take the Suez canal and take the straights of gibraltar before crossing the Med into Italy, southern France and Greece/the balkans. Push north you til continental Europe is mine... At this point my armies would probably be exhausted and beset on all sides, so, if I even managed to make it this far, Id consider myself pretty fortunate, and wouldnt be too terribly upset when the rest of the world turns Africa into a nuclear wasteland.

Alright, I don't have World Fomination plans but I do have Evil Handbook Rules. I will share with everyone the most important step.

Step 1: When you capture them, SHOOT THEM IN THE HEAD.

'Them' could refer to a hero, a hostage, anything that has been captured at a time when capturing things isn't the priority. Do NOT talk to them. Do NOT explain a plan. Do NOT threaten death or try to extort their homeland. And do NOT shoot them in the belly and leave them to die slowly. No talking. Acknowledge their capture by sight, then shoot them in the head. There is absolutely zero wiggle room on this step.

If you can't tell, I hate TV and movie villains. They frustrate me. Bond villains above all else.

 SharkoutofWata wrote:
Alright, I don't have World Fomination plans but I do have Evil Handbook Rules. I will share with everyone the most important step.

Step 1: When you capture them, SHOOT THEM IN THE HEAD.

'Them' could refer to a hero, a hostage, anything that has been captured at a time when capturing things isn't the priority. Do NOT talk to them. Do NOT explain a plan. Do NOT threaten death or try to extort their homeland. And do NOT shoot them in the belly and leave them to die slowly. No talking. Acknowledge their capture by sight, then shoot them in the head. There is absolutely zero wiggle room on this step.

If you can't tell, I hate TV and movie villains. They frustrate me. Bond villains above all else.

THIS!

I can't count the amount of times I've face-palmed at moustache-twirling villains giving a butt-ton of exposition towards captured people who are either CLEARLY capable spies or form of insurgent/rebel/enemy and feel the need to give away everything because they have to gloat about how the captured subject can do nothing to stop it. I mean if you really get your kicks this way and want to leave whoever you captured to leave alive, at least cut off their arms, legs, tongue and then gouge out their eyes so they can't reveal any of your plans while also sending out a brutal message to your enemies of what happens when someone crosses you.

1. Do homework on economics and world politics.

2. Breed a particular effective flu.

3. Make vaccine and insert in select areas during flu season.

4. Release new flu.

Select areas will suffer massive collapses to infrastructure while others that were secretly given effective vaccine do not.

I'm not sure, but it would involve magnets. Always with the magnets.

I would start a thread in an online forum, asking what other people would do, then I'd take all those plans and do them

I'd kidnap and line up against a wall: Miley Cyrus, Justin Bieber, Paris Hilton, The Kardashian clan and any other 'famous by being famous' waste case I could come up with just by perusing the checkout line tabloids. Then, I'd notify world leaders of my intention to NOT kill them unless I was give dominion over man.

Everyone profits, and I'm assured cheerful obedience. Damn, I'm good.

I would do what I already did, but perhaps I have said to much.

Find a way to become immortal.

That way I have all the time I need to take over the world

Take over the world? *shakes head* Amateur hour.

I would simply reveal my divinity and allow the chosen to worship me............

Two words: Montezuma's Revenge.

Be a politician
Gain support from a pissed off country
Kill Political enemies
Build an unstoppable army
Conqueror whole world

Wait who almost did that?

1 Discover the spice

2 use spice to see into the future

3 use future seeing ability to get power

4 use power to make a army of religious zealots and make them the ultimate warriors with the spice.

5 use army of religious zealots to conquer the world.

6 become a god.

Hypno-Toad....

I'd use my superior genetics and scientific intellect to create 20 super-human individuals (with various unique traits) to help conquer the galaxy.

What's the worst that can happen?