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granted, but it is directed by michael bay and the plot quickly degenerates into a story about two explosions which fall in love, then explode.

I wish that squats had defeated the spehz mehreens.

Granted, but they're still eaten by the Nidz

I wish Sean Connery would act again.

Granted. He simply redoes everything he ever acted.

I wish I had a Medieval suit of armour.

Granted, it's peasants armor and it's all you have. Your everyday clothes were probably better in everyway.

I wish to know the whole truth, the entire truth, and nothing but the truth about frogs. Apparently some of it is rather funny.

Granted: you are no longer able to sleep at night because you are too busy thinking about frog erections.

I wish Matt Ward would write all of the 7th edition codexes, giving them new releases. (good luck corrupting that further)

Granted, 40k is then banned forever as a result of the nerd rage it causes. Governments round up 40k players in death camps to stop this ever happening.

I wish I could diagnose what is wrong with my stomach.

Granted, you corectley diagnose it as iocane poisoning. You are now dead.

I wish Sgt_Smudge's stomach problems had been baby tentacle demon related not iocane related.

granted but the monster eats his body and you, so both of you are dead.

I wish for my guardsmen to have armor like ivan's.

Granted: It looks exactly the same, but turns out to be cheese. Your guardsmen are all butchered, murdered, eaten by orks craving da cheez.

I wish real space marines would land on earth.

Granted. They then go on to purge all religious and scientific communities before bringing our world under the dominion of the Imperium.

I wish car insurance wasn't so pricey.

Granted, now it only costs your arm, and no longer your leg. But if you ever get into crash, say good by too all of your limbs! Of course if you lost those in the crash, well, you're pretty much screwed.

I wish I could see a picture of Otto Weston's 2.5k points of veterans. Mainly, the Rough Riders.

I can't actually Grant that :/ I'm not where my army is atm. Apologies.

I wish I could comply with Bob's request.

Granted, but the moment you get too where your army is, you find out Bob tracked you down, and swiped the rough riders.

I wish I could beat the cheesiest of tournament lists with my fluffy lists.

Granted. You beat them all, then you yourself are beaten by little kids parents after the tournament for making their kids cry.

I wish for justice.

Granted. Turns version North Koreas idea of justice was right.

I wish I could catch up on my painting

Granted, the second you do you become a miniature gamer with nothing to paint, a dead one.

I wish to get my painting backlog to 3-5 projects instead of 10-20.

Granted: Your remaining projects are of 40mm based nudes of Robin Cruddace. You are not allowed to move on until they're completed.

I wish Event Horizon was formally acknowledged as 40k history.

Granted. But it is quickly censored by the inquisition.

I wish to see the unused footage from Event Horizon.

Granted. It mentally scars you and you can never watch Event Horizon again.

I wish there was a sequel to Event Horizon.

Granted. But it stars Mr. Bean and has an abysmally low budget.

I wish for some more new good movies.

Granted, but each movie going to cost you about $100 each due to the cost of awesomeness these days.

I wish I had Angry Marine Jack-O-Lantern.

Granted, it comes to life, swears at you, then explodes everywhere from rage.

I wish I was the CEO of GW

Granted. Matt Ward sees you as the weakest link, and kills you inorder to take the GW throne. He is now king of GW.

I wish I was Matt Ward

Granted, but as you killed me to become king of GW you get arrested for murder and meet your new cellmate called Bubba

I wish GW did market research

Granted. They decide that to cash in on the large brony demographic. All space marines are now ponies.

I wish every single living person was Matt Ward.

Granted. Now you have gone and done it. Everyone including you is now Matt Ward. Everyone now is blissfully unaware of their shortcomings.

I wish i knew where the treasure is buried.

Granted, however it turns out it was one of those bs treasures where "The reward was inside us all along"

I wish that the entire world, now all Matt Ward, would come together and write the codexes (Codexi?) for every 40k army.

Granted but now Space Ponies and Blood Ponies and Dark Ponies etc are so OP all of those armies are banned from use in all offical tournements and the fluff for the other armies is so poor many a gamer burns the codices in nerd rage. thus 40K crumples and with it GW, GW is no more.

I wish that after GW dies a company such as PP or Wyrd reinvents the Warhammer and 40K games

Granted, however the same thing happens with them, due to them also being Matt Ward

I wish no one was Matt Ward anymore

Granted, but as everyone HAS to be Matt Ward, yet no-one is Matt Ward, and therefore everyone is dead. Problem solved.

I wish that I could have another day in the weekend to finish my Deathwatch.