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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2014/05/16 13:31:32
Subject: 'How to get a date' by Dakka
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Dakka Veteran
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Oh hell no.
You never tell a girl you like her or anything like that. That is like a spoiler at the end of a movie and completely kills all the mood. You have to keep her guessing. If she asks, you don't give her a straight answer and you have to tease her. Say something like.. "well.. i'm giving you a chance. if you are a good girl I might take you for ice cream later". That kind of response completely ignores her question and teases the gak out of her. You don't put her on a pedestal or she will lose interest. She needs to be actively pursuing you, not the other way around. That is how you get her to bend over backwards to please you. If she wants you to do the same for her, she needs to earn it.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2014/05/16 14:20:43
Subject: 'How to get a date' by Dakka
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Shadowy Grot Kommittee Memba
The Great State of New Jersey
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I disagree with everything you just said, on the grounds that it is immature, juvenile, and misogynistic. Protip - if you think a good relationship involves one or the other party constantly pursuing the other and bending over backwards for the other, then you're not going to ever have a good relationship.
In other news, might need to quit tinder for a while... I've used 60% of my monthly data allowance on Tinder alone... it hasn't even been a week...
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2014/05/16 14:32:16
Subject: 'How to get a date' by Dakka
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Decrepit Dakkanaut
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dereksatkinson wrote:
Oh hell no.
You never tell a girl you like her or anything like that. That is like a spoiler at the end of a movie and completely kills all the mood. You have to keep her guessing. If she asks, you don't give her a straight answer and you have to tease her. Say something like.. "well.. i'm giving you a chance. if you are a good girl I might take you for ice cream later". That kind of response completely ignores her question and teases the gak out of her. You don't put her on a pedestal or she will lose interest. She needs to be actively pursuing you, not the other way around. That is how you get her to bend over backwards to please you. If she wants you to do the same for her, she needs to earn it.
This is so very far from the truth that it hurts to read it.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2014/05/16 15:01:35
Subject: 'How to get a date' by Dakka
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Hallowed Canoness
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So, what do you do to make people actively pursuing you while not letting them know you are interested?
That was cringeworthy. Like, a lot. I do not want someone to bend over backward to please me. And it would not please me if done like that anyway, I think. I want someone to enjoy being with me.
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"Our fantasy settings are grim and dark, but that is not a reflection of who we are or how we feel the real world should be. [...] We will continue to diversify the cast of characters we portray [...] so everyone can find representation and heroes they can relate to. [...] If [you don't feel the same way], you will not be missed"
https://twitter.com/WarComTeam/status/1268665798467432449/photo/1 |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2014/05/16 15:28:01
Subject: 'How to get a date' by Dakka
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Shadowy Grot Kommittee Memba
The Great State of New Jersey
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I dunno bout y'all, but what I look for in a partner is... well, a partner. An equal. Why would I date someone who exists only to serve me? That would make them my lesser, wouldn't it? Why would I waste my time with a lesser person? You should only ever aspire to have people that are your equals or better around you, a lesser will only drag you down.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2014/05/16 15:29:13
Subject: 'How to get a date' by Dakka
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Hallowed Canoness
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chaos0xomega wrote:You should only ever aspire to have people that are your equals or better around you, a lesser will only drag you down.
Cringeworthy too.
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"Our fantasy settings are grim and dark, but that is not a reflection of who we are or how we feel the real world should be. [...] We will continue to diversify the cast of characters we portray [...] so everyone can find representation and heroes they can relate to. [...] If [you don't feel the same way], you will not be missed"
https://twitter.com/WarComTeam/status/1268665798467432449/photo/1 |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2014/05/16 15:46:42
Subject: 'How to get a date' by Dakka
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Shadowy Grot Kommittee Memba
The Great State of New Jersey
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Disagreed, though I recognize that my phrasing is problematic, if not borderline psychotic, but I'm at work and trying to not to get yelled at for not doing anything
It also helps if you know me and that I view all people as equals
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2014/05/16 15:49:25
Subject: 'How to get a date' by Dakka
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Decrepit Dakkanaut
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You clearly do not view all people as equals if you regularly reject people for not being attractive enough to bother with. Besides, "don't associate with lessers" would be even more nonsensical if you don't believe anyone is lesser.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2014/05/16 15:51:43
Subject: 'How to get a date' by Dakka
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Hallowed Canoness
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Well, probably just a phrasing issue then, but basically “Do not hang out with loosers” do feel cringeworthy, and “lessers” makes it even worse  .
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"Our fantasy settings are grim and dark, but that is not a reflection of who we are or how we feel the real world should be. [...] We will continue to diversify the cast of characters we portray [...] so everyone can find representation and heroes they can relate to. [...] If [you don't feel the same way], you will not be missed"
https://twitter.com/WarComTeam/status/1268665798467432449/photo/1 |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2014/05/16 15:55:07
Subject: 'How to get a date' by Dakka
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Dakka Veteran
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chaos0xomega wrote:I dunno bout y'all, but what I look for in a partner is... well, a partner. An equal. Why would I date someone who exists only to serve me? That would make them my lesser, wouldn't it? Why would I waste my time with a lesser person? You should only ever aspire to have people that are your equals or better around you, a lesser will only drag you down.
You don't understand the psychology of women. If you are having trouble finding a date, it's more likely an issue of self esteem and you need a little help in that department. You are either a catch or not. That is 100% mental on your part. Women don't want a guy to throw themselves at them and put them on a pedestal. Trust me, I'm married with 2 kids and my wife and I have a very healthy relationship. Being able to tease someone and be able to take the reciprocation is very important.
Once you have established a relationship where someone thinks highly of you, it's up to you on whether or not you abuse it. I do not advocate treating a woman as someone who is lesser. This is a discussion about how to get a date, not how to beg with women to go out with you. It's the game of flirting. You can be a challenge to a woman (which makes you attractive) and still treat her with respect. There is a major difference between dominating someone and flirting.
Women don't want to have sex with people who they aren't attracted to and it's your job to be attractive to them. It's not just physical appearance but your attitude and confidence in yourself. Like I said, if you are posting on this thread it's not because you are exactly a ladies man. It took me a while to figure out the way the game is actually played because western culture demonizes being masculine.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2014/05/16 18:06:01
Subject: 'How to get a date' by Dakka
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Pragmatic Primus Commanding Cult Forces
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chaos0xomega wrote: gorgon wrote:
*snip*
He's working against himself and the mindset has to change, right?
I DONT LIKE CHANGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But seriously, yes, thats entirely correct, but if the right girl came along I'd get on that ASAP. As for 'friends', I have a policy, don't dip the pen in the company ink... Meeting girls on Tinder to date their hotter friends is just... wrong.
A girl did hit me up and start a convo with me, unfortunately she's from about an hour south of me, and not quite hot enough for me to put the time, effort, and energy of exploring the possibility in, so I kinda let the convo die out.
Well, you still don't seem to understand what I'm saying about actually meeting people and expanding your network.
IMO, there's some correlation between your mindset and your success level. You seem overly focused on the idea that you can only even meet people whom you think will be "the one." The reality is that at your age you probably don't even have a true idea of what you really need and want from "the one." You tend to find that out by meeting and dating a certain volume of people. It's a process.
And IMO you seem overly hung up on looks, because I didn't say or imply "Meeting girls on Tinder to date their hotter friends". The point is to meet females and open up possibilities. In some cases, you might not make a connection, but she might think you a better match for one of her friends. If you're a likeable, dateable dude, female will hook a sista (and therefore you) up. It does happen. But you have to put yourself out there to make that happen.
I'm not sure that any of these attitudes you show are unusual for a young guy. But the point of this thread is for us older guys with more experience with females to share some wisdom, right?
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2014/05/16 18:16:36
Subject: 'How to get a date' by Dakka
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Shadowy Grot Kommittee Memba
The Great State of New Jersey
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Corpsesarefun wrote:You clearly do not view all people as equals if you regularly reject people for not being attractive enough to bother with. Besides, "don't associate with lessers" would be even more nonsensical if you don't believe anyone is lesser.
False.
First, attraction is purely subjective and has nothing to do with ones standing, its merely a function as to whether or not someones physical and/or mental qualities excite some feeling in me, whether it be evolutionary or societally conditioned.
As for it being a nonsensical statement, yes that was kind of the point. If you're taking the viewpoint that a woman should bend over backwards for you then you're screwed up, because that would require them to be of some lower status than you, etc. which they aren't.
You can be a challenge to a woman (which makes you attractive) and still treat her with respect.
Yeah that 'challenge' thing is a load of gamey bs that some guy who calls himself 'doc love' advocates so he can convince clueless guys to buy his book and learn 'the system.'
Women don't want to have sex with people who they aren't attracted to and it's your job to be attractive to them.
This is correct. However, that doesn't mean you have to play a game (which is what the rest of this paragraph seems to advocate), make yourself a 'challenge' or whatever. Its entirely possible to treat someone with respect and be confident without making them 'bend over backwards to please you'.
You seem overly focused on the idea that you can only even meet people whom you think will be "the one."
Its not about being 'the one', its about what I'm attracted to and the type of girl I'm interested in, not quite sure how to describe them... except to maybe say Brooklyn is evidently full of them, except that I automatically hate everything about Brooklyn
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2014/05/16 18:55:45
Subject: Re:'How to get a date' by Dakka
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Obergefreiter
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There is no "one". Once you figure that out you are 50% of the way.
The other 50% is developing a high pain tolerance.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2014/05/16 19:14:35
Subject: 'How to get a date' by Dakka
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Shadowy Grot Kommittee Memba
The Great State of New Jersey
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There is a one, its right after zero and right before two
But seriously, again, not looking for 'the one', way I see it is even if I'm only compatible with 1% of the women out there, there are still about 35 million women out there that I would be a good match with.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2014/05/16 21:40:30
Subject: 'How to get a date' by Dakka
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Decrepit Dakkanaut
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First match - someone I knew a few years back. How do I talk to people again?
This'd be a lot easier if it was someone I'd never heard of before.
#OnlyHalfJoking
#Help
#HashtagYOLO
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Mandorallen turned back toward the insolently sneering baron. 'My Lord,' The great knight said distantly, 'I find thy face apelike and thy form misshapen. Thy beard, moreover, is an offence against decency, resembling more closely the scabrous fur which doth decorate the hinder portion of a mongrel dog than a proper adornment for a human face. Is it possibly that thy mother, seized by some wild lechery, did dally at some time past with a randy goat?' - Mimbrate Knight Protector Mandorallen.
Excerpt from "Seeress of Kell", Book Five of The Malloreon series by David Eddings.
My deviantART Profile - Pay No Attention To The Man Behind The Madness
"You need not fear us, unless you are a dark heart, a vile one who preys on the innocent; I promise, you can’t hide forever in the empty darkness, for we will hunt you down like the animals you are, and pull you into the very bowels of hell." Iron - Within Temptation |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2014/05/16 22:03:29
Subject: 'How to get a date' by Dakka
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Hallowed Canoness
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I am missing on all this Tinder fun :(. But that was seriously too much of a pain in the ass!
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"Our fantasy settings are grim and dark, but that is not a reflection of who we are or how we feel the real world should be. [...] We will continue to diversify the cast of characters we portray [...] so everyone can find representation and heroes they can relate to. [...] If [you don't feel the same way], you will not be missed"
https://twitter.com/WarComTeam/status/1268665798467432449/photo/1 |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2014/05/18 05:57:56
Subject: 'How to get a date' by Dakka
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Decrepit Dakkanaut
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Yes, yes you are.
Tinder update: Bugger all has happened. This both annoys and pleases me.
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Mandorallen turned back toward the insolently sneering baron. 'My Lord,' The great knight said distantly, 'I find thy face apelike and thy form misshapen. Thy beard, moreover, is an offence against decency, resembling more closely the scabrous fur which doth decorate the hinder portion of a mongrel dog than a proper adornment for a human face. Is it possibly that thy mother, seized by some wild lechery, did dally at some time past with a randy goat?' - Mimbrate Knight Protector Mandorallen.
Excerpt from "Seeress of Kell", Book Five of The Malloreon series by David Eddings.
My deviantART Profile - Pay No Attention To The Man Behind The Madness
"You need not fear us, unless you are a dark heart, a vile one who preys on the innocent; I promise, you can’t hide forever in the empty darkness, for we will hunt you down like the animals you are, and pull you into the very bowels of hell." Iron - Within Temptation |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2014/05/19 02:06:09
Subject: 'How to get a date' by Dakka
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Lieutenant Colonel
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My advice:
Be yourself.
If that doesnt work,
Try being someone else!
Joking, seriously, finding a woman who likes YOU for you only happens when your acting how you normally would. just be the best you you can be.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2014/05/19 03:52:42
Subject: 'How to get a date' by Dakka
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Shadowy Grot Kommittee Memba
The Great State of New Jersey
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Well gents, I think I have failed as a man, I think you get my deck of man cards now, yes?
Explanation: So, this weekend was Steampunk Worlds Fair, yours truly went dressed as such: http://tribwphl.files.wordpress.com/2014/05/steam-punk-worlds-fair-051714-0137.jpg (I'm the dude in the dive suit). So, while stomping around outside (in fact, I believe it was shortly before or after this photo was taken) I was approached by two lovely young ladies for a photo, after the photos were taken, I couldn't help but notice that one of the ladies, who was a redhead (so instant attraction x1 million for me) was rather... drop dead gorgeous. Sadly, wearing the helmet makes it impossible for me to communicate with anyone, so I really couldn't do much, and there was basically a gagglefuck of people lined up to take photos of/with me, so I let it slide (Because my group wanted to move the hell on).
Anyway, a few hours pass, and we're getting lunch outside in a courtyard, I'm slightly dressed down (helmet/gloves/boots off) relaxing a little bit and getting some much needed water in me, when I notice the girl at the other end of the courtyard, I had an internal struggle about whether or not i wanted to hobble over (you try walking around in that costume for even an hour and you'll see what I mean, I can barely move today after a full day of wearing it... totally worth it btw) and talk to her... that discussion was quickly quashed as she sat down at a table with her friends (and what I would later learn family). I have a rule, don't approach a woman solo when in the presence of other guys. If they want to spit their game, let them, I've 'fought over' women before with other guys, not my thing anymore. Anyway, I soon forgot about the girl and was distracted by other goings on. At some point, probably about an hour after I noticed her, I went to relieve myself in the restroom (don't ask how, it was a rather arduous process to do so wearing that thing). As I walked back outside, I stopped next to the door and bent over to adjust my boots, as the legs of my jumpsuit had come untucked from the dive boots. As I was retucking and relacing, a woman who was seated a few feet away from me having a smoke and enjoying a drink started speaking to me, commenting on how exhausted I looked and how it might be easier if I had a seat. I somewhat protested slightly, but then she commented "Darling, you really should sit down and take a load off while you relace those, you can stand back up when you're ready to tuck the legs in." Unable to argue with the logic of that statement, nor with any woman who has ever referred to me as 'darling' pretty much ever, I complied.
So I sat down next to her and went back to work, and struck up a bit of a conversation with her regarding my costume and how I put it together (she was very impressed, especially in regards to the boots). She had just commented about how I was some sort of genius because of how well put my dive boots turned out (seriously, they look very much like the real thing), when she suddenly asked "Is this your girlfriend?" Being hunched over focused on my boots, I was like "Huh?" and I looked up... sure enough this girl was standing there... still not entirely sure why... looking like an absolute angel sent down from heaven, and I was instantly flustered and confused and like "Ummm... Uhhh... no?" (all the while debating internally if I should respond with "I wish." The woman replied "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply anything, you two just look like you were together." I'm still rather mystified by this statement, as I have no reason why that would be the conclusion drawn from having a girl standing in the general vicinity of me (seriously she was like 3-5 feet away from me). But then it got weirder, because while I'm trying to figure out wtf is going on and how to use this to my benefit, she tells the girl that she is very beautiful etc. The girl reacted by saying "Oh thank you" and got nervous/embarassed and covered her mouth to hide the laughter. Then the woman told her not to cover her mouth when someone tells her that shes beautiful because it shows a lack of confidence and inner strength and that she's too pretty to be sending out those kinds of signals, etc... and then it got even weirder because then she went like... psychic fortune teller and was like "You're having some family issues aren't you? Your father is going through some stuff." And the girl got somewhat flustered and was like "Everyone goes through some stuff once in a while... How do you know?" and she replied with "I just know things. Don't worry, its just a passing thing, things will get better." Then the girls mother, little brother, and her friend came over and the woman started speaking to them, and from the general gist of the conversation I got was that she was basically friggin reading all of their minds and histories. At this point I was done fixing myself up, almost shut out of the convo (the woman passed me a bottle of water and asked to see the palm of my hand at one point, but I wasn't really "involved' otherwise), and didn't really feel I should stick around since they were discussing more personal matters that weren't for me, and on top of that my group was moving on and getting impatient, so I walked off... I know, had an opportunity, didn't take it... it gets worse...
Fast forward another 6 hours, I'm dead tired, barely able to move anymore, still in costume, being led around from shop to shop (which I pretty much cannot enter due to the costume and confined spaces within the hotel rooms that they have set up in), leaning up against stuff to try to rest and conserve what little energy I have left. I notice the girl happens to walk past, I was about to say something, but then I noticed that theres a guy with her, seemingly spitting some game (though she didn't look too terribly interested). I thought about cutting in, but like I said, I have some rules I live by, so I just kinda wished the other dude luck in my head and ignored it. At some point one of my friends helps me remove the helmet and some of my gear so I can stretch out a bit and relax since we're mostly standing around in one area while waiting, she walks by again, this time alone and she sees me and says "Hello again" and smiles and waves, and I was so tired all I could really manage was "Oh hey, whats up?" She started to answer but then her friend poked her head out from behind a rack of some stuff and called her over to show her something, and I basically gave up on trying to salvage anything of it, and the rest of my group showed up and we wandered off again.
I'm kicking myself so hard about this right now, and hoping that by some luck the photo she took with me ends up online somewhere so I can track her down and get in contact with her... maybe I'm looking at it the wrong way, I don't believe in fate, but to me it seems like the universe was throwing me a bone and setting me up for a great opportunity, giving me the chocie of how I wanted to handle it... and I totally fethed it up...
Avatar 720 wrote:
Yes, yes you are.
Tinder update: Bugger all has happened. This both annoys and pleases me.
?
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2014/05/19 04:09:32
Subject: 'How to get a date' by Dakka
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Decrepit Dakkanaut
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It might be the fact that it's 5am, but even I struggled to untangle what happened there, but it sounds less like you were being thrown opportunities and more like the universe was teasing you - although that could be my cynicism talking. All of the 'opportunities' you got were at points where you were pretty much already inconvenienced, and going off what you said, you never really had much a choice to make. You had 'chances' that would required you to butt in, others where you were sidelined before you could make sense of the situation, and another when you had already spent more hours tramping around in a diving suit than most people spend going around in tailored suits.
The only real opportunity you had was right at the end whilst out shopping, but by that time you were already dead on your feet and you can't blame yourself for not being able to react to the situation as quickly as you'd have liked - how many people have lightning reactions after spending hours on their feet in a diving suit?
It might look like you messed up to you, but to me it looks like you had a load of false chances, and one last one that couldn't have come at a worse time. So feth it; crack open a cold one and dare the universe to throw another redhead at you, because you sure as hell won't be wearing a diving suit next time. Automatically Appended Next Post:
Annoying because when I think about how quickly I can sort through the matches, having so many other women doing the same must yield at least a small number of results - mainly just so I have something to show for my 'effort'  . Pleasing because I don't have to deal with anything.
If I was more serious about it then I might be discouraged, but it's proven to be an interesting experience nonetheless. I mentioned before that I have my own gak to sort out before I can really start going looking for companionship, so it's far from the end of the world.
I still don't get how I have no real matches when I'm obviously so damn attractive. ¬.¬
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2014/05/19 04:15:06
Mandorallen turned back toward the insolently sneering baron. 'My Lord,' The great knight said distantly, 'I find thy face apelike and thy form misshapen. Thy beard, moreover, is an offence against decency, resembling more closely the scabrous fur which doth decorate the hinder portion of a mongrel dog than a proper adornment for a human face. Is it possibly that thy mother, seized by some wild lechery, did dally at some time past with a randy goat?' - Mimbrate Knight Protector Mandorallen.
Excerpt from "Seeress of Kell", Book Five of The Malloreon series by David Eddings.
My deviantART Profile - Pay No Attention To The Man Behind The Madness
"You need not fear us, unless you are a dark heart, a vile one who preys on the innocent; I promise, you can’t hide forever in the empty darkness, for we will hunt you down like the animals you are, and pull you into the very bowels of hell." Iron - Within Temptation |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2014/05/19 07:02:04
Subject: 'How to get a date' by Dakka
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Posts with Authority
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chaos0xomega wrote:Well gents, I think I have failed as a man, I think you get my deck of man cards now, yes?
Explanation: So, this weekend was Steampunk Worlds Fair, yours truly went dressed as such: http://tribwphl.files.wordpress.com/2014/05/steam-punk-worlds-fair-051714-0137.jpg (I'm the dude in the dive suit). So, while stomping around outside (in fact, I believe it was shortly before or after this photo was taken) I was approached by two lovely young ladies for a photo, after the photos were taken, I couldn't help but notice that one of the ladies, who was a redhead (so instant attraction x1 million for me) was rather... drop dead gorgeous. Sadly, wearing the helmet makes it impossible for me to communicate with anyone, so I really couldn't do much, and there was basically a gagglefuck of people lined up to take photos of/with me, so I let it slide (Because my group wanted to move the hell on).
Anyway, a few hours pass, and we're getting lunch outside in a courtyard, I'm slightly dressed down (helmet/gloves/boots off) relaxing a little bit and getting some much needed water in me, when I notice the girl at the other end of the courtyard, I had an internal struggle about whether or not i wanted to hobble over (you try walking around in that costume for even an hour and you'll see what I mean, I can barely move today after a full day of wearing it... totally worth it btw) and talk to her... that discussion was quickly quashed as she sat down at a table with her friends (and what I would later learn family). I have a rule, don't approach a woman solo when in the presence of other guys. If they want to spit their game, let them, I've 'fought over' women before with other guys, not my thing anymore. Anyway, I soon forgot about the girl and was distracted by other goings on. At some point, probably about an hour after I noticed her, I went to relieve myself in the restroom (don't ask how, it was a rather arduous process to do so wearing that thing). As I walked back outside, I stopped next to the door and bent over to adjust my boots, as the legs of my jumpsuit had come untucked from the dive boots. As I was retucking and relacing, a woman who was seated a few feet away from me having a smoke and enjoying a drink started speaking to me, commenting on how exhausted I looked and how it might be easier if I had a seat. I somewhat protested slightly, but then she commented "Darling, you really should sit down and take a load off while you relace those, you can stand back up when you're ready to tuck the legs in." Unable to argue with the logic of that statement, nor with any woman who has ever referred to me as 'darling' pretty much ever, I complied.
So I sat down next to her and went back to work, and struck up a bit of a conversation with her regarding my costume and how I put it together (she was very impressed, especially in regards to the boots). She had just commented about how I was some sort of genius because of how well put my dive boots turned out (seriously, they look very much like the real thing), when she suddenly asked "Is this your girlfriend?" Being hunched over focused on my boots, I was like "Huh?" and I looked up... sure enough this girl was standing there... still not entirely sure why... looking like an absolute angel sent down from heaven, and I was instantly flustered and confused and like "Ummm... Uhhh... no?" (all the while debating internally if I should respond with "I wish." The woman replied "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply anything, you two just look like you were together." I'm still rather mystified by this statement, as I have no reason why that would be the conclusion drawn from having a girl standing in the general vicinity of me (seriously she was like 3-5 feet away from me). But then it got weirder, because while I'm trying to figure out wtf is going on and how to use this to my benefit, she tells the girl that she is very beautiful etc. The girl reacted by saying "Oh thank you" and got nervous/embarassed and covered her mouth to hide the laughter. Then the woman told her not to cover her mouth when someone tells her that shes beautiful because it shows a lack of confidence and inner strength and that she's too pretty to be sending out those kinds of signals, etc... and then it got even weirder because then she went like... psychic fortune teller and was like "You're having some family issues aren't you? Your father is going through some stuff." And the girl got somewhat flustered and was like "Everyone goes through some stuff once in a while... How do you know?" and she replied with "I just know things. Don't worry, its just a passing thing, things will get better." Then the girls mother, little brother, and her friend came over and the woman started speaking to them, and from the general gist of the conversation I got was that she was basically friggin reading all of their minds and histories. At this point I was done fixing myself up, almost shut out of the convo (the woman passed me a bottle of water and asked to see the palm of my hand at one point, but I wasn't really "involved' otherwise), and didn't really feel I should stick around since they were discussing more personal matters that weren't for me, and on top of that my group was moving on and getting impatient, so I walked off... I know, had an opportunity, didn't take it... it gets worse...
Fast forward another 6 hours, I'm dead tired, barely able to move anymore, still in costume, being led around from shop to shop (which I pretty much cannot enter due to the costume and confined spaces within the hotel rooms that they have set up in), leaning up against stuff to try to rest and conserve what little energy I have left. I notice the girl happens to walk past, I was about to say something, but then I noticed that theres a guy with her, seemingly spitting some game (though she didn't look too terribly interested). I thought about cutting in, but like I said, I have some rules I live by, so I just kinda wished the other dude luck in my head and ignored it. At some point one of my friends helps me remove the helmet and some of my gear so I can stretch out a bit and relax since we're mostly standing around in one area while waiting, she walks by again, this time alone and she sees me and says "Hello again" and smiles and waves, and I was so tired all I could really manage was "Oh hey, whats up?" She started to answer but then her friend poked her head out from behind a rack of some stuff and called her over to show her something, and I basically gave up on trying to salvage anything of it, and the rest of my group showed up and we wandered off again.
I'm kicking myself so hard about this right now, and hoping that by some luck the photo she took with me ends up online somewhere so I can track her down and get in contact with her... maybe I'm looking at it the wrong way, I don't believe in fate, but to me it seems like the universe was throwing me a bone and setting me up for a great opportunity, giving me the choice of how I wanted to handle it... and I totally fethed it up...
Ouch. First off, never hesitate to ditch your friends to pursue a possibe romance. If they can't handle that or somehow don't back you up - chances are they weren't your friends to begin with. Second, you need to rethink your 'rule' about never talking to a girl if someone else is talking to her. If a girl is worth being around then there is a good chance that at any given moment some dude is going to be hitting on her. You are surrendering the initiative, and basically saying to yourself that any dude with even the slightest ambition is more worthy of being with that woman than you. horsegak.
Thirdly, fatigue is in the mind. Willpower. Overcome that tiredness.
Oh yeah, and first rule of Cosplay - if you are single, never ever wear a mask. It's like shooting yourself in the foot. No matter how cool your cosplay is, hiding your face just hamstrings your interactions with the opposite gender. Unless you are a girl.
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This message was edited 3 times. Last update was at 2014/05/19 07:04:44
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2014/05/19 12:14:29
Subject: 'How to get a date' by Dakka
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Shadowy Grot Kommittee Memba
The Great State of New Jersey
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Well, had I actually told my friends what was up they would have been more patient, but I kinda kept it to myself, they yelled at me about it afterwards already :/
As for my rule, its not about some other dude being more worthy, its more about me being "worth too much" to find myself entangled in yet another clusterfeth situation. I'm fine waiting my turn, I figure 9 times out of 10 the other dude is going to fail anyway, and I'm ore than capable of holding my own if someone else tries interrupting.
Also, you walk around for 14 hour wearing a 20+ lb poorly ventilated diving helmet and poorly fit 10+ lb boots (each, with no padding/support and a few screws invading in your toes personal space) on less than 4 hours of sleep over the previous two nights and THEN tell me that fatigue is all in the mind. The fact that I was still standing at the end of the night is testament to the fact that I DID overcome the tiredness, it doesn't mean that my ability to process information was at its peak.
Otherwise, yeah, the first rule of cosplay is probably a pretty good one... it got me lots of attention, and I did interact with her a little bit without the helmet on, just the timing wasn't necessarily ideal when that occurred.
Oh, I also forgot to mention that I DID manage to get her name... which by the end of the night (really the next morning, as I'm pretty sure I still remembered it when I went to sleep) I had forgotten entirely >.< I keep racking my mind to try to recall it but can't.
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2014/05/19 13:19:55
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2014/05/20 17:40:47
Subject: 'How to get a date' by Dakka
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Shadowy Grot Kommittee Memba
The Great State of New Jersey
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It seems the Universe is a bitch.
The girl and I managed to get in contact with one another (pretty much by accident on the facebook group for the event)... she has a boyfriend (or at least it seems as such)... -___-
feth you universe. feth you and your misleading ways.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2014/05/20 17:43:09
Subject: 'How to get a date' by Dakka
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Decrepit Dakkanaut
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chaos0xomega wrote:It seems the Universe is a bitch.
The girl and I managed to get in contact with one another (pretty much by accident on the facebook group for the event)... she has a boyfriend (or at least it seems as such)... -___-
feth you universe. feth you and your misleading ways.
Take a dump on his lawn whilst staring him in the eye the whole time. Establish dominance.
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Mandorallen turned back toward the insolently sneering baron. 'My Lord,' The great knight said distantly, 'I find thy face apelike and thy form misshapen. Thy beard, moreover, is an offence against decency, resembling more closely the scabrous fur which doth decorate the hinder portion of a mongrel dog than a proper adornment for a human face. Is it possibly that thy mother, seized by some wild lechery, did dally at some time past with a randy goat?' - Mimbrate Knight Protector Mandorallen.
Excerpt from "Seeress of Kell", Book Five of The Malloreon series by David Eddings.
My deviantART Profile - Pay No Attention To The Man Behind The Madness
"You need not fear us, unless you are a dark heart, a vile one who preys on the innocent; I promise, you can’t hide forever in the empty darkness, for we will hunt you down like the animals you are, and pull you into the very bowels of hell." Iron - Within Temptation |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2014/05/20 17:45:54
Subject: 'How to get a date' by Dakka
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Shadowy Grot Kommittee Memba
The Great State of New Jersey
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Oh errr... she also lives like 2 hours away near Philadelphia, so I suppose its a moot point regardless, not that i care much for matters such as distance or anything, just too much of a hassle to get involved in a situation like this.
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2014/05/20 18:49:37
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2014/05/21 06:24:00
Subject: 'How to get a date' by Dakka
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Posts with Authority
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Avatar 720 wrote:chaos0xomega wrote:It seems the Universe is a bitch.
The girl and I managed to get in contact with one another (pretty much by accident on the facebook group for the event)... she has a boyfriend (or at least it seems as such)... -___-
feth you universe. feth you and your misleading ways.
Take a dump on his lawn whilst staring him in the eye the whole time. Establish dominance.
I almost hit the triangle instead of exalt on this post by accident. Good advice.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2014/05/21 06:49:07
Subject: 'How to get a date' by Dakka
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Longtime Dakkanaut
Squatting with the squigs
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chaos0xomega wrote:Oh errr... she also lives like 2 hours away near Philadelphia, so I suppose its a moot point regardless, not that i care much for matters such as distance or anything, just too much of a hassle to get involved in a situation like this.
Are you sure you have found all the possible reasons for not trying to pick her up? You list about 8 reasons why not in your last 3 posts. Seems like you are trying hard to find a reason not to - I'm not good at picking up women but it really struck me reading your initial cosplay post how many times you found some reason not to try.
Also there is no line, if you wait your "turn" (there is also no turn) you will miss out.
Dunno man it just seems like you are sabotaging yourself and by your friends reaction, I'd say they think so too.
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Shespits "Anything i see with YOLO has half naked eleventeen year olds Girls. And of course booze and drugs and more half naked elventeen yearolds Girls. O how i wish to YOLO again!"
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2014/05/21 12:39:17
Subject: 'How to get a date' by Dakka
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Shadowy Grot Kommittee Memba
The Great State of New Jersey
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Eh, I decided to give it a shot anyway, I'll let you know how it turns out... although she seems like she might actually be crazy lol
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2014/05/21 13:08:47
Subject: 'How to get a date' by Dakka
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Dakka Veteran
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Dude.. she lives 2 hours away and has a boyfriend.. Next
You've met this girl one time and she was able to prove herself worthy of a long distance relationship? Are you really that desperate?
Let's say you "win" and steal this girl away. Then what? You are going to in a committed relationship with a girl that lives 2 hours away. Why would you trust that this girl would be faithful to you when she has already cheated on another guy to be with you?
In all honesty.. I've seen guys try to rationalize this kind of behavior before and ever single time i've seen it backfire. Even after kids are involved, i've seen that kind of woman leave her husband for another man.
Why create drama in your life?
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2014/05/21 13:22:45
Subject: 'How to get a date' by Dakka
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Shadowy Grot Kommittee Memba
The Great State of New Jersey
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It *seems* she has a boyfriend, I have no solid confirmation one way or another. And by 'giving it a shot' I mean I'm talking to her, theres no harm in talking (im also talking to another girl from Tinder simultaneously who *isnt* 2 hours away, so its not like all my eggs are in one basket) just to see where it goes. She is seemingly pretty cool... though again, she might be kinda crazy.
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This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2014/05/21 19:33:00
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