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...I've been called a queen on occasion, if that counts.

Mostly I'm a political officer.

++/+//={ Start Transmission from Holy Terra}=\\+\++

What in the name of Me is going on?


++/+//={ End Transmission from Holy Terra}=\\+\++

Sometimes you guys disturb me greatly.

*Recoils as I suddenly have a Commissar lying across my lap*

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH WTF?)!!

++/+//={ Start Transmission from Holy Terra}=\\+\++

Someone needs to explain this gak.


++/+//={ End Transmission from Holy Terra}=\\+\++

 Buttery Commissar wrote:
...I've been called a queen on occasion, if that counts.

Mostly I'm a political officer.

Oh, that won't do!

Who's the corpse?

*Shrieks as he recieves a transmission at MAXIMUM VOLUME*

TURN YOUR FETHING MIC VOLUME DOWN, YOU CREEPY CORPSE-PERSON!!!!

Oh. That's the so called "Emperor of Mankind."

Between you and me, he's a huge donkey-cave.

Emperor? That's exactly what I've been looking for!

... Why does he have to be a corpse? I'm not marrying that.

If you absolutely must have a figure of high authority, here's my Mechanicus resume, just so you will stop it.
*Hands massive pile of paper to TNB*

++/+//={ Start Transmission from Holy Terra}=\\+\++

 Verviedi wrote:

Between you and me, he's a huge donkey-cave.

I heard that.

 thenoobbomb wrote:
Emperor? That's exactly what I've been looking for!
... Why does he have to be a corpse? I'm not marrying that.

Yes, it is I, the Emperor of Mankind. You wouldn't have had second thoughts if you had seen me in my glory days. I do still have the might of a thousand psykers and total control over a million worlds.
Which makes me a total badass.

 Verviedi wrote:
If you absolutely must have a figure of high authority, here's my Mechanicus resume, just so you will stop it.
*Hands massive pile of paper to TNB*

Those are forged documents and you know it.

++/+//={ End Transmission from Holy Terra}=\\+\++

[Looks down] Sorry, V. Cosy, though. [Purrs]

[Scrambles up] Sometimes I forget who what I'm in the middle of doing...

[Falls over and has a seizure as the unfiltered holy transmission comes in]

Hmm, you're still a corpse. Not marrying that, unless I don't even need to touch you!

++/+//={ Start Transmission from Holy Terra}=\\+\++

You are a very spoiled, one-dimensional stuck up young lady.


++/+//={ End Transmission from Holy Terra}=\\+\++

I'm just looking to advance in this society!

++/+//={ Start Transmission from Holy Terra}=\\+\++

I'm the pinnacle of evolution, leading the biggest and most successful empire this galaxy has ever seen, I have a hundred million concubines to tend to my every need. I am the best it gets.


++/+//={ End Transmission from Holy Terra}=\\+\++

 thenoobbomb wrote:
I'm just looking to advance in this society!

[Takes a break from having seizures to laugh and point] Pfff. So what you're essentially saying, is you're a high-class who- [Has another seizure from a transmission]

++/+//={ Start Transmission from Holy Terra}=\\+\++

Don't dis the sex slaves, Commissar, they relieve the immense boredom.


++/+//={ End Transmission from Holy Terra}=\\+\++

[Sits up] I- I wasn't dissing the sex workers, I was dissing the fact she's pretending to be anything else. Grandeur and all that.

 Buttery Commissar wrote:
[Sits up] I- I wasn't dissing the sex workers, I was dissing the fact she's pretending to be anything else. Grandeur and all that.

The sex part gradually becomes less and less until you are naught but a pawn, don't worry!

++/+//={ Start Transmission from Holy Terra}=\\+\++

Are you referring to yourself, or those that pay you?


++/+//={ End Transmission from Holy Terra}=\\+\++

The husband in question, of course.

I come with a dowry, too!

So others do pay you? [Sniggers]

That certainly explains the inch-thick layer of makeup and.... looseness.
*Makes broad gesture at TNB's entire upper body*

 Buttery Commissar wrote:
So others do pay you? [Sniggers]

With fancy titles and all their possessions.

I don't believe you commoners understand how marriage works!

 Verviedi wrote:
That certainly explains the inch-thick layer of makeup and.... looseness.
*Makes broad gesture at TNB's entire upper body*

How rude.

I'm 300-something years old. I think I deserve being rude.

Also, I forgot.

*Casually flicks lit matches at the hem of TNB's clothes*

You'll buy me a new set if you dare set them aflame.

They're worth more than you, quote frankly.

I don't think some high-price hooker's clothing is worth more than someone who is being actively hunted by no less than 3 different Galactic powers.

*Hem of TNB's sleeve finally catches*

*Whistles and walks away*

 thenoobbomb wrote:
I don't believe you commoners understand how marriage works!

Commoner? [Chuckles] As a Commissar or Lord Commissar, I'm entirely outside of the chain of command, military or societal.
And I didn't have to sleep my way up here, either.

[Casually flicks lit matches at the hem of Verviedi's robes] I like this game, what's it called?

[Drops remaining matches and has another seizure]

You truly don't understand how nobility works.

*puts out fire with snap of fingers*

*Static*

*Injects BC with nerve stabiliser*

Feudalism is an outdated, inefficient form of government. Anything that promotes sleeping your way to a position of authority does not belong.