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2017/02/21 09:16:20
Subject: Then Lord Blackwing sent his ninja wives to kill the witness!
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Owns Whole Set of Skullz Techpriests
Versteckt in den Schatten deines Geistes.
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Life is stranger than fiction.
A Utah man who has three wives and forced them to call him “Lord” has been charged for allegedly deploying two of them, dressed as ninjas, to try killing a teenager he sexually abused.
Kain Blackwing, 47, faces new charges for allegedly plotting the slaying of a girl he was already convicted of abusing.
You can read the rest there. It's worth it for the sheer WTF of it all (like the girl's mother's fiance fighting them off with a sword). But this guy's name was Kain Blackwing. Kain. Blackwing.
He forced his wives to call him Lord, making him Lord Blackwing. One of his 'ninja wives' is named Raven Blackwing. This is a bad fantasy novel.
Holy crap... 
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2017/02/21 09:45:42
Subject: Then Lord Blackwing sent his ninja wives to kill the witness!
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Secret Force Behind the Rise of the Tau
USA
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Wait, is that his given name? Like born with it? No way man. That's like two people got to the hospital and decided they wanted the reincarnation of someone's fanfiction OC anti-hero incarnated into this plain from the zeitgeist XD
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2017/02/21 09:47:56
Subject: Re:Then Lord Blackwing sent his ninja wives to kill the witness!
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[DCM]
Et In Arcadia Ego
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Cracking story  
.... Utah does seem to attract is fair share of...err...... the differently minded.
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The poor man really has a stake in the country. The rich man hasn't; he can go away to New Guinea in a yacht. The poor have sometimes objected to being governed badly; the rich have always objected to being governed at all
We love our superheroes because they refuse to give up on us. We can analyze them out of existence, kill them, ban them, mock them, and still they return, patiently reminding us of who we are and what we wish we could be.
"the play's the thing wherein I'll catch the conscience of the king,
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2017/02/21 10:14:11
Subject: Then Lord Blackwing sent his ninja wives to kill the witness!
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Owns Whole Set of Skullz Techpriests
Versteckt in den Schatten deines Geistes.
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I didn't notice first time through that the guy who stopped the ninja wives is Blackwing's half-brother.
You just can't make this stuff up!
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2017/02/21 10:43:21
Subject: Re:Then Lord Blackwing sent his ninja wives to kill the witness!
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Brutal Black Orc
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When I read this I was all: LOLWUT? The hell is going on!?
Then I said it was some bloke from utah and thought... isn't that par for the course for them?
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2017/02/21 11:27:10
Subject: Then Lord Blackwing sent his ninja wives to kill the witness!
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Monstrous Master Moulder
Rust belt
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Best part is he fought off the ninja wives with a sword. Would have loved to be a fly on the wall that day.
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2017/02/21 12:03:22
Subject: Then Lord Blackwing sent his ninja wives to kill the witness!
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5th God of Chaos! (Yea'rly!)
The Great State of Texas
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 H.B.M.C. wrote:I didn't notice first time through that the guy who stopped the ninja wives is Blackwing's half-brother.
You just can't make this stuff up!
"Well I naturally grabbed the sword from the mantle" Wait you have a sword on your mantle, in Utah? 
I had to click it to make sure it wasn't in the UK.
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-"Wait a minute.....who is that Frazz is talking to in the gallery? Hmmm something is going on here.....Oh.... it seems there is some dispute over video taping of some sort......Frazz is really upset now..........wait a minute......whats he go there.......is it? Can it be?....Frazz has just unleashed his hidden weiner dog from his mini bag, while quoting shakespeares "Let slip the dogs the war!!" GG
-"Don't mind Frazzled. He's just Dakka's crazy old dude locked in the attic. He's harmless. Mostly."
-TBone the Magnificent 1999-2014, Long Live the King!
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2017/02/21 12:05:25
Subject: Re:Then Lord Blackwing sent his ninja wives to kill the witness!
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Fixture of Dakka
West Michigan, deep in Whitebread, USA
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Are you sure this isn't a Supernatural episode, or something? 
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"By this point I'm convinced 100% that every single race in the 40k universe have somehow tapped into the ork ability to just have their tech work because they think it should." |
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2017/02/21 12:19:56
Subject: Re:Then Lord Blackwing sent his ninja wives to kill the witness!
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The Dread Evil Lord Varlak
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I didn't realise how badly the world needed polygamist ninjas until this very moment.
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“We may observe that the government in a civilized country is much more expensive than in a barbarous one; and when we say that one government is more expensive than another, it is the same as if we said that that one country is farther advanced in improvement than another. To say that the government is expensive and the people not oppressed is to say that the people are rich.”
Adam Smith, who must have been some kind of leftie or something. |
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2017/02/21 12:29:37
Subject: Then Lord Blackwing sent his ninja wives to kill the witness!
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Fixture of Dakka
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Did the third wife not make the cut?
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"The Omnissiah is my Moderati" |
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2017/02/21 12:51:02
Subject: Then Lord Blackwing sent his ninja wives to kill the witness!
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Decrepit Dakkanaut
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fething Mormons.
Never trust a man that won't drink coffee.
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2017/02/21 12:51:12
DA:70S+G+M+B++I++Pw40k08+D++A++/fWD-R+T(M)DM+
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2017/02/21 12:55:49
Subject: Then Lord Blackwing sent his ninja wives to kill the witness!
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5th God of Chaos! (Yea'rly!)
The Great State of Texas
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Rimshot!
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-"Wait a minute.....who is that Frazz is talking to in the gallery? Hmmm something is going on here.....Oh.... it seems there is some dispute over video taping of some sort......Frazz is really upset now..........wait a minute......whats he go there.......is it? Can it be?....Frazz has just unleashed his hidden weiner dog from his mini bag, while quoting shakespeares "Let slip the dogs the war!!" GG
-"Don't mind Frazzled. He's just Dakka's crazy old dude locked in the attic. He's harmless. Mostly."
-TBone the Magnificent 1999-2014, Long Live the King!
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2017/02/21 13:13:59
Subject: Then Lord Blackwing sent his ninja wives to kill the witness!
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Aspirant Tech-Adept
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The larpiest or LAPRs.
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Poor ignorant guardsmen, it be but one of many of the great miracles of the Emperor! The Emperor is magic, like Harry Potter, but more magic! A most real and true SPACE WIZARD! And for the last time... I'm not a space plumber.
 1K Vostroyan Firstborn
 2K Flylords
 600 Pts Orks
 3K Ad-Mech |
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2017/02/21 13:39:24
Subject: Then Lord Blackwing sent his ninja wives to kill the witness!
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Heroic Senior Officer
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 Frazzled wrote: H.B.M.C. wrote:I didn't notice first time through that the guy who stopped the ninja wives is Blackwing's half-brother.
You just can't make this stuff up!
"Well I naturally grabbed the sword from the mantle" Wait you have a sword on your mantle, in Utah?
I had to click it to make sure it wasn't in the UK.
Well, I'm in Virginia and don't have a mantle, so they're mounted above the desk...
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Don "MONDO"
www.ironfistleague.com
Northern VA/Southern MD |
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2017/02/21 14:10:16
Subject: Then Lord Blackwing sent his ninja wives to kill the witness!
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5th God of Chaos! (Yea'rly!)
The Great State of Texas
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This is why when I am home I have a full auto wiener dog strategically located in belly rub distance at all times. Ninjas come into my house and fatty fatty will erupt from his cocoon of blankets like a bouncing betty of canine destruction.
Then its off to the pig farm...
(again)
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2017/02/21 14:10:49
-"Wait a minute.....who is that Frazz is talking to in the gallery? Hmmm something is going on here.....Oh.... it seems there is some dispute over video taping of some sort......Frazz is really upset now..........wait a minute......whats he go there.......is it? Can it be?....Frazz has just unleashed his hidden weiner dog from his mini bag, while quoting shakespeares "Let slip the dogs the war!!" GG
-"Don't mind Frazzled. He's just Dakka's crazy old dude locked in the attic. He's harmless. Mostly."
-TBone the Magnificent 1999-2014, Long Live the King!
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2017/02/21 14:10:20
Subject: Then Lord Blackwing sent his ninja wives to kill the witness!
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Longtime Dakkanaut
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Thing is, your location is the infamous 'Hoodbridge' so your having swords on the wall is no surprise from anyone living in the Corridor 
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Thread Slayer |
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2017/02/21 14:11:32
Subject: Then Lord Blackwing sent his ninja wives to kill the witness!
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5th God of Chaos! (Yea'rly!)
The Great State of Texas
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 privateer4hire wrote:Thing is, your location is the infamous 'Hoodbridge' so your having swords on the wall is no surprise from anyone living in the Corridor
Elaborate?
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-"Wait a minute.....who is that Frazz is talking to in the gallery? Hmmm something is going on here.....Oh.... it seems there is some dispute over video taping of some sort......Frazz is really upset now..........wait a minute......whats he go there.......is it? Can it be?....Frazz has just unleashed his hidden weiner dog from his mini bag, while quoting shakespeares "Let slip the dogs the war!!" GG
-"Don't mind Frazzled. He's just Dakka's crazy old dude locked in the attic. He's harmless. Mostly."
-TBone the Magnificent 1999-2014, Long Live the King!
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2017/02/21 15:27:09
Subject: Then Lord Blackwing sent his ninja wives to kill the witness!
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Heroic Senior Officer
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Woodbridge, where I live, is locally known as 'Hood'bridge... ie known for criminal activity. Corridor being the I-95 corridor in northern VA leading into and out of DC. Yeah, when the groundskeeper for your HOA finds a 9mm pistol tucked under some of the shrubs he's working on, well, maybe it's not the best of neighborhoods.
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Don "MONDO"
www.ironfistleague.com
Northern VA/Southern MD |
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2017/02/21 15:47:30
Subject: Then Lord Blackwing sent his ninja wives to kill the witness!
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5th God of Chaos! (Yea'rly!)
The Great State of Texas
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Mmm ok.
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-"Wait a minute.....who is that Frazz is talking to in the gallery? Hmmm something is going on here.....Oh.... it seems there is some dispute over video taping of some sort......Frazz is really upset now..........wait a minute......whats he go there.......is it? Can it be?....Frazz has just unleashed his hidden weiner dog from his mini bag, while quoting shakespeares "Let slip the dogs the war!!" GG
-"Don't mind Frazzled. He's just Dakka's crazy old dude locked in the attic. He's harmless. Mostly."
-TBone the Magnificent 1999-2014, Long Live the King!
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2017/02/21 15:50:08
Subject: Then Lord Blackwing sent his ninja wives to kill the witness!
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Lady of the Lake
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Still better than Twilight.
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2017/02/21 15:52:14
Subject: Then Lord Blackwing sent his ninja wives to kill the witness!
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Pragmatic Primus Commanding Cult Forces
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We laugh, but we all know this guy is a gamer, right?
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2017/02/21 16:37:35
Subject: Re:Then Lord Blackwing sent his ninja wives to kill the witness!
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Nasty Nob
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Seems like prime fodder for a TV courtroom drama. Perhaps even a D&D adventure module. Or a 40k Kill Team scenario. 
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2017/02/21 17:27:25
Subject: Then Lord Blackwing sent his ninja wives to kill the witness!
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Imperial Guard Landspeeder Pilot
On moon miranda.
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This sounds like a sideplot froma Kevin Smith flick, one of those things the main characters would happen upon and just go "wtf" to add some weirdness to the flick.
People are weird...
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IRON WITHIN, IRON WITHOUT.
New Heavy Gear Log! Also...Grey Knights!
The correct pronunciation is Imperial Guard and Stormtroopers, "Astra Militarum" and "Tempestus Scions" are something you'll find at Hogwarts. |
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2017/02/21 17:27:44
Subject: Then Lord Blackwing sent his ninja wives to kill the witness!
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Longtime Dakkanaut
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She was out shopping. A local food mart was slashing prices.
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2017/02/21 17:50:41
Subject: Then Lord Blackwing sent his ninja wives to kill the witness!
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Longtime Dakkanaut
Building a blood in water scent
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Attempting puns with our rapier wit, are we? Alright, I'll take a stab at it.
"Lord" Blackwing was hacked off at what he viewed as a stab in the back by the young lady. He wanted to cut her out of his life, permanently, so they might never cross swords again.
Jeebus. What a world.
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We were once so close to heaven, St. Peter came out and gave us medals; declaring us "The nicest of the damned".
“Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.'” |
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2017/02/21 18:18:37
Subject: Then Lord Blackwing sent his ninja wives to kill the witness!
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Assassin with Black Lotus Poison
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Whilst the names and ninja-assassin wives element does make it seem funny, this certainly has a Manson family-esque air about it. Thankfully they weren't successful.
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This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2017/02/21 20:25:15
The Laws of Thermodynamics:
1) You cannot win. 2) You cannot break even. 3) You cannot stop playing the game.
Colonel Flagg wrote:You think you're real smart. But you're not smart; you're dumb. Very dumb. But you've met your match in me.
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2017/02/21 18:34:16
Subject: Re:Then Lord Blackwing sent his ninja wives to kill the witness!
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Cackling Daemonic Dreadnought of Tzeentch
Ellenton, Florida
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Great story!
Thank you, OP, for making Florida feel a little less wierd. (Well, for the moment anyway...)
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2017/02/21 22:17:42
Subject: Then Lord Blackwing sent his ninja wives to kill the witness!
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Incorporating Wet-Blending
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Wow. So he sexually abuses a 14 year old girl then has his brainwashed sister wives go after her. What a champ.... Hope he has a good time in prison. A really good time.
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-James
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2017/02/21 22:49:25
Subject: Re:Then Lord Blackwing sent his ninja wives to kill the witness!
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Longtime Dakkanaut
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The couple fought off the so-called “polygamist ninjas,” with the fiancé using a sword in the household combat.
That may be the greatest news story sentence ever written
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2017/02/22 02:46:23
Subject: Then Lord Blackwing sent his ninja wives to kill the witness!
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Fixture of Dakka
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Never heard of a trailer with a mantle 
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