Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

Granted, you receive nothing! You lose! Good day, Sir!

I wish I didn't put a nail through my thumb.

Granted. You put it through your girlfriend's thumb instead. Now she doesn't want to see you.....

I wish for a good snack.

Granted, so does the shark in the water next to you.

I wish I was scuba diving right now.

Granted. You are 20 fathoms down. Your gear is not. Happy diving!

I wish scuba diving was easier to get into.

Granted. You're in a boat out on the ocean and, without any gear or training, you think "You know what? Feth it!" and get into the water for some scuba diving. We believe that you're still down there, somewhere.

I wish someone would tell me where to find wing-mounted lascannon bits so my Valkyrie could actually look like a Vendetta.

Granted. Someone tells you where they are, but you are distracted by a bright shiny object and quickly forget all about it.

I wish for a 1/56 scale model of a Horsa Glider.

Granted, but it's broken and the only one ever produced. It is not able to be salvaged.

I wish Snurl would go to www.padi.com to see just how easy diving is!

Granted. He goes there and breaks diving forever. Diving is banned everywhere.

I wish the model was salvageable.

Granted. A 3rd grader salvages the pieces for a science project demonstrating the temperature at which plastic melts.

I wish my truck parts were here.

Granted. You trip over them in the driveway this morning, on your way out.

I wish for an easy way to get rid of skunks.

Granted, you become a skunk and no longer worrying about removing yourself from your property.

I wish I could go to the Scotland highlands and just shrug off my troubles.

Granted, but you can't seem to shrug off the feeling like you're being watched by a large, predatory lake monster...
You confirm your suspicions down in the belly of the beast.

I wish for a docile dinosaur.

Granted. It poops everywhere. HUGE poops. EVERYWHERE.

I wish I could paint models at work.

Granted. Your mates wonder why your army is full of Space Marines sitting at computers and emptying trash cans instead of fighting poses like everyone else.

I wish for a new shovel.

Granted, it's in the HUGE docile dinosaur dung heap.

I wish my kid would take a nap!

Granted, but he only wakes up after 500 years.

I wish Warlord would do a Bolt Action supplement focusing on conflicts less than a decade before or after WW2 - spain, korea etc.

Granted but nobody wants it. It is pulled from shelves.

I wish to be fish slapped

Granted. Again and again you are Pummeled with Perch, Smacked with Salmon, and mutilated with Muskelung. Every time you think its over, another session begins.

I wish to laugh like an evil scientist.

Granted but your laugh is diminutive and sounds more like "Merp, merp merp merp!"

I wish Matthew was a platypus instead of a trans specied llama Hippo.

•600th Post!•

Granted, but know he can poison you with his venom.

I wish the song Uptown Funk was in GTA V.

Granted. GTA is pulled from the shelves in an ip dispute because of it. Everyone knows its your fault.

I wish for an awesome background theme.

Granted, however it is at a frequency only dogs can hear. And it makes them viscous.

I wish I had played the other army list I had brought last night.

Granted, you still lost and a 12 year old chubster stole all of your models.

I wish people were nicer to each other.

Granted, but now they're worse to themselves more than usual.

I wish Morkris could have grabbed my rope arrow, so he didn't fall off the flying castle with the stone golem that fused with the room. Reaching level 8 never felt so sad...

Granted, you never played that silly game and instead have a four year marathon of Excite Bike with your Sqved By the Bell poster.

I wish Asian food didn't give me the squirts.

Granted, but now Asian food is the only thing that doesn't give you the squirts.

I wish I had a $1,000,000 gift certificate to GW and Forgeworld.

Granted. You're immediately arrested for forging fake gift certificates and sent to jail.

I wish for good coffee.

Granted. You have one pound of the finest roast coffee in the world, hand grown by Columbian virgins. Its in your safe, and you have forgotten the combination.

I wish for my opponent to make a tactical blunder again.

Granted however that blunder was yours due to that brilliant tactical genius and you were CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEDed.

I wish to give an Aussie a high five.

Granted, however, the Aussie is a kangaroo and retaliates with a kick to the gut.

I wish for a cup of really bad coffee.