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Granted. In your direction, of course.

I wish for some of those good starburst jelly beans.

Granted. You are covered in them.

I wish for no more one sided 40K battles.

Granted. 40K becomes completly pointless, as no matter what tactics or lists are used, they all play the same and all outcomes are decided on a 4+. This begins the strategic 40k game, in which players meet, and each roll a D6. The higher roll determines the battle's outcome. Soon miniatures are not needed. GW reels, withers, and dies. And its all your fault.

I wish for a quiet night.

Granted. A loud explosion just before dusk destroys your ear drums. You now have a quite life.

I wish Passover was over so I could get back to eating "real" food.

Doesn't passover end with Easter?

No. It starts halfway through the hebrew month of Nissan and lasts 8 days. Coincidentally, this year it started on Good Friday. Which is rather interesting as the Last Supper was itself the first (or possibly second) night of Passover.

You both receive fish slaps.

Granted Passover is over and you get back to real foods. Worms, scorpions and Tabasco sauce.

I wish family meant something to stone people.

Granted. Family means everything to stone people. But you wouldn't know it, because of their stone cold emotions.

I wish to learn something new every day.

Granted, you learn the same thing everyday because you have short term memory loss.

I wish my 'Gang' was all legal drinkng age in Sweden.

Granted, you're all in America, you still can't drink.

I wish I had a nice pack of cards.

Granted. They are hidden all over the neighborhood.

I wish for better memory.

Granted, you have such good memory that you remeber all bad and painfull things that happened to you in your whole life. You can't handle it and become alchoholic in order to forget. It does not work.

I wish that there will be descent modelling store in my town.

granted. But they only sell the game Descent, along with expansions and special boxed sets.

I wish I remember where I put that.

Granted. It is in the same place as this. But you can't remember that either.

I wish I could learn more about stone people emotions.

Granted. It only takes the rest of your life.

I wish for more color.

Granted, you get all the color rolled into one color.

Black

I wish I didn't eat that last pulled chicken sandwich.

Granted. Instead of eating it, you set it free.

I wish for some time to paint.

Granted you receive time.

7-10 for manslaughter

I wish I had a gaming buddy

Granted. He's a Wookie, and pulls your arms out of your sockets when he loses.

I wish overtime was over.

Granted, it's now sudden death.

I wish my arms weren't so sore.

Granted. The Wookie finds another player to abuse.

I wish for a game soon.

Granted. It's against a horse, who insists on picking things up with it's teeth.

I wish for a windmill full of corpses.

Granted. The corpses are infected with Doubtworm.

I wish for an indigestable roll.

Granted. You discover its un-digestability the hard way.

I wish to cook out on the grill tonight.

Granted. Your guests think you are delicious, if a bit overcooked.

I wish that I could remember to finish my posts:

Granted. You remember to finish your posts, but are left with a constant nagging feeling you've

I wish for my own TARDIS with the knowledge and ability to pilot it.

Granted, you have a TARDIS and the knowledge to do all you want but your TARDIS is merely a vestibule to get on your bunk bed.

I wish I had a bowl of ice cream.

Granted, it is very poisonous.

I wish I had faster internet

Granted, but now your computer is bogged down and runs slow from all the stuff you downloaded so fast.

I wish I was an astronaut.

Granted. You land on the moon.

I wish Bruce Rauner was not cutting budgets to state universities in Illinois.