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Wear your PPE!

This was inside the graphic design department. There's a red line on the floor that we're not allowed past in Production.
Unless it's lunch, because the lunch table is inside the red line.

 Buttery Commissar wrote:
This was inside the graphic design department. There's a red line on the floor that we're not allowed past in Production.
Unless it's lunch, because the lunch table is inside the red line.

That made me chuckle. For some reason reminds me of Paranoia. Except then they would intentionally make the lunch table a different clearance color!

Some of the staff are so drilled that they won't go past the line at all.
Sometimes I go and sit in there with their lunch just to dick with them.

For the record I only go in there when the machinery isn't running and I witnessed the compressor being drained.

 Buttery Commissar wrote:
Boss has taken his first holiday in years.
Topic of conversation: Last time he went on holiday, someone was hospitalised by being sliced across the eyeball by a retracting tape measure.

Sweet white skinned Jesus that hurts just reading about it.

Hey Buttery Commissar I heard you have some insane stories about Retail Stores and the like. I'm actually wondering how they compare to the stories I've had with roommates and if you'd be willing to add your roommate experiences. The guys in that thread said they were waiting for your inevitable appearance.

The thread I made.

http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/686373.page

So this is a new one, even for me.
I now work in a place with a lot of departments. As newbie, I answer any phone calls that are not directed to any particular extension number.
We make things and design things.

So a man rings in, late on a Friday.
BC: Hello, Buttery Workplace, Buttery speaking-
Man: Hello, what are you doing for me? [Annoyed]
BC: ...Sorry?
Man: You keep ringing me, leaving messages, and I've been abroad for three months. I'm wondering how my order is going.
BC: Okay sir. Do you know who rang you?
Man: No.
[We always leave names at the start and end of the message, so this is advanced laziness in his part]
BC: Can you tell me what we are producing for you?
Man: I don't know, mate.
BC: ...Okay, what is the name of the shop that you are calling from?
Man: Torn. T-O-R-N-E.
BC: Have you paid us any kind of deposit or instalments?
Man: I'm not sure.
BC: Okay sir, I'm going to have to get someone to call you back.
Man: Today, okay? I want to know.

Turns out it was Thorne, he has not made an actual order. He had a quote for 10,000 leaflets and then went abroad without telling anyone.

You always take the cake buttery. Sounds a rather disorganized man...

Honestly if I don't focus on the nonsense, I'd cry.

One I remembered this afternoon...
Working at the department store, a well dressed elderly man came up and tried to pay us with a £5 coin. My colleague asks me if its legal, and to avoid embarassing him, I just take him to one side and open another checkout so I can talk to him.
He hands over the coin, and I find out it's a mint silver boxed £5 coin, extremely old, and worth at least £50-60 at the time.
"I can't accept this, it's worth far far more than your shopping."
"But it's all I have. I don't have anything else left."
This impeccably dressed old man, but if you looked, still shabby around the edges. I realise this is something I don't comprehend the depth of at 16.

I paid for his shopping on my wage credit, and took my break.
I went and got the guy in charge of deliveries to take the old man down to the local cash converters and get a good value for his coin.

It still bothers me that someone who had clearly made something of his life, was basically down to trading his posessions for food.

 Buttery Commissar wrote:
Honestly if I don't focus on the nonsense, I'd cry.

One I remembered this afternoon...
Working at the department store, a well dressed elderly man came up and tried to pay us with a £5 coin. My colleague asks me if its legal, and to avoid embarassing him, I just take him to one side and open another checkout so I can talk to him.
He hands over the coin, and I find out it's a mint silver boxed £5 coin, extremely old, and worth at least £50-60 at the time.
"I can't accept this, it's worth far far more than your shopping."
"But it's all I have. I don't have anything else left."
This impeccably dressed old man, but if you looked, still shabby around the edges. I realise this is something I don't comprehend the depth of at 16.

I paid for his shopping on my wage credit, and took my break.
I went and got the guy in charge of deliveries to take the old man down to the local cash converters and get a good value for his coin.

It still bothers me that someone who had clearly made something of his life, was basically down to trading his posessions for food.

That's because you're still a decent human being. Bravo, Butters

There's a lot of unseen poverty in the UK. This was before the prevalence of food banks and open discussion. :/

Buttery. You always have the stories!

This happened to me on this last Wednesday morning about an hour and 45 min before I got off for my days off in the hotel I work as a front desk clerk/night audit clerk. A guest comes in to eat breakfast (after working road construction for the city all wee early morning). I catch him as he is about to dish up his food with his bare filthy hands. I tell him, "I'm sorry sir, but I have to ask you to use the provided equipment to dish the food up. It is a health, saftey thing." He gets pissed and yells at me, but finally gives up when I tell him, "Sir, you can either use the tongs and spoons to dish up or I can kick you out. And if you think I can't I will call my manager right now." He dishes up using a single spoon to do it all (thank god it wasn't the gravy spoon) and stomps off to his room.

What makes this a horror story? 20 min later after my final security check (takes about a 2-3 min to do) I come back to the front desk and the breakfast area to find this god awful smell coming from the breakfast area. I go to the breakfast area to find this same man from earlier cooking his diarrhea in a waffle iron because, "No one has the right to tell me how I dish up breakfast."

This man was so mad that I made him use spoons and tongs to dish up his breakfast that he went back to his room and took a bunch of fast acting laxatives and came back to squat over a waffle iron, do his business, and then COOK it.

We no longer offer waffles at work (which was something new we were doing).

Oh, wow, the pee and poop stories are back. Sure, I have plenty of those in my restaurant.

1. White trash mother not only changes her baby's soiled diaper on the table, but places it FACE DOWN on and empty plate and tells the waitress to deal with it.

2. An old man is mad that the bathroom was occupied, so he drops his pants outside the bathroom door and defecates there.

3. a LARGE woman (imagine 5'5" tall, and 550 pounds) has a butt that is so large she can't sit on our toilet. The toilet sits between a wall and a sink, and the gap is too small for her butt. She literally backs up over the toilet and liquid poos EVERYWHERE. On the seat, to the left of the toilet, to the right of the toilet, on the toilet tank, on the wall, running down the side of the sink.

4. We have a large immigrant Hispanic population that isn't used to flushing their toilet paper (as their native sewer systems can't handle it). So they wipe, then flick the paper across the room towards, but never quite in, the trash can.

5. An old woman with incontinence issues pooped herself. Her daughter literally bent her over the table, hiked up her dress, and wiped her down with wet wipes.




Automatically Appended Next Post:

 NorseSig wrote:
This happened to me on this last Wednesday morning about an hour and 45 min before I got off for my days off in the hotel I work as a front desk clerk/night audit clerk. A guest comes in to eat breakfast (after working road construction for the city all wee early morning). I catch him as he is about to dish up his food with his bare filthy hands. I tell him, "I'm sorry sir, but I have to ask you to use the provided equipment to dish the food up. It is a health, saftey thing." He gets pissed and yells at me, but finally gives up when I tell him, "Sir, you can either use the tongs and spoons to dish up or I can kick you out. And if you think I can't I will call my manager right now." He dishes up using a single spoon to do it all (thank god it wasn't the gravy spoon) and stomps off to his room.

What makes this a horror story? 20 min later after my final security check (takes about a 2-3 min to do) I come back to the front desk and the breakfast area to find this god awful smell coming from the breakfast area. I go to the breakfast area to find this same man from earlier cooking his diarrhea in a waffle iron because, "No one has the right to tell me how I dish up breakfast."

This man was so mad that I made him use spoons and tongs to dish up his breakfast that he went back to his room and took a bunch of fast acting laxatives and came back to squat over a waffle iron, do his business, and then COOK it.

We no longer offer waffles at work (which was something new we were doing).

Please tell me you either kicked his sorry butt out of the hotel, or at the very least added a charge to his credit card for the replacement cost of the waffle iron.

Why not call the police? If this guy has this much issue following simple common health regulations how the feth does he deal with real life??!

Damn... And I thought charity shop retail was bad....

Waffle irons... That's just...

 easysauce wrote:
Was playing a 40k game once when one of the workers there walked by the table and knocked off a bunch of my models with his protruding belly.

As I was working through the shock of seeing my forgeworld models in pieces he told me "You really shouldn't have models that close to the board edge."

I just stood there stupefied that he would consider models that are in *my deployment zone* to be at fault as opposed to hi own carelessness in where he swung his gut.

Its a good thing I didn't have my metal dread in a sock handy or I might be typing this from prison to this day!

Although if I got a few players on the jury I am sure they wouldn't convict

you're a better man than I, I would have flipped out.

Please tell me you either kicked his sorry butt out of the hotel, or at the very least added a charge to his credit card for the replacement cost of the waffle iron.

Better, I kicked him out, the manager charged his room 250.00 + cost of waffle iron, and I called the police on him for indecent exposure.

Best part is I got to make him clean up the waffle iron mess while the police watched. It was glorious....once I got rid of the smell.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 SlaveToDorkness wrote:
Why not call the police? If this guy has this much issue following simple common health regulations how the feth does he deal with real life??!

Honestly, I think the man was out to lunch and a semi-functioning crazy.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 jhe90 wrote:
Damn... And I thought charity shop retail was bad....

Waffle irons... That's just...

The smell was far worse than the looks of things. I'm just glad he took the iron off the counter to do his business so all the other food items were "untouched".

Just a few "incidents" off the top of my head regarding some of my LGS experiences since moving to this area.

Last year a guy was playing in a Pathfinder group and every member of said group had their laptops out and playing various kinds of music, so he had to yell across the table to just be heard. After about an hour of this, I walked over to the table and politely asked all of the music to be turned off, yet the yeller continued his antics anyway. After two hours of listening to his yelling, I politely asked him to stop yelling and turn it down a notch as I was developing a massive migraine from all of this. Of course he decided to go on a tirade about how he lives in the US of A and can do whatever he wants.

I have tried preordering several items or sometimes ordering items through the same LGS. After they ask for all of my contact info, they usually precede to not hold said items or never contact me when they come in. Which means, I no longer order through them and instead go through online shops for all of gaming needs.


In the last year I've noticed that almost all of the wargamers that frequent the various LGSes are very insular or extremely cliquish. Every time I want to play a game I have to worry about who's pissed off who or who is friends with who to avoid any drama that might ensue. Some regulars refuse to talk to you if you're not playing the same game and a regular at said LGS.

A few years back a guy bought a game store out from under the original owner and promptly ran it into the ground with various bad decisions. A while after it folded he tried to restart his business by renting out an office space that was part of a tire warehouse.

sqir666 wrote:

In the last year I've noticed that almost all of the wargamers that frequent the various LGSes are very insular or extremely cliquish. Every time I want to play a game I have to worry about who's pissed off who or who is friends with who to avoid any drama that might ensue. Some regulars refuse to talk to you if you're not playing the same game and a regular at said LGS.

The thing is, that's less "wargamers" and more "people." The amount of drama my mother brings back from her church or card groups... Or my father brings from the golf club (usually about teeing times), really does make me think that wargamers can be too hard on themselves...

That's my main rub though, I participate in wargaming as a hobby to get away from that.

where do I began?

Store #1 ok lets go back a little bit, there used to be a game store where the owner had what was called a mystery 40K game rounds where for a fee people got envelopes which had slips of paper for various units and such for a 40K game (ea. slip corresponded to a unit you would get) but rumour had it that it was rigged with the store owners buddies getting the good unit while everyone else got a small fraction of the entry fees worth of troops, that store soon closed telling its customers they were moving with a few people still having credit for the store and such, they never returned with several companies like GW looking for them for money owed them.

Store #2 this store has been around for decades but under several owners and is mostly for Magic and Yu-Gi-Oh games (don't think any miniature games are played there), anyway this store has a rep of not being very customer friendly or really much of a store, even though it has the floor space for miniature games the owner is not a big fan of endorsing them or even having them played there with his employees being "contract" employees working on commission (to avoid certain labor laws).

Store #3 this is probably one of the good stores, sadly its foot print isn't big enough to play one game of Magic sadly

Store #4 this store is a mixed bag it has the space for miniature games and even plays miniature games, but if you want to play there you have to be a paying customer every time, which wouldn't be a bad thing except their selection while varied (lots of unique items in fact only place that has RRT) their selection of any specific line is minimal at best, I have been 2 the store twice one time went looking for 40K orcs and not a single GW ork product was available, nor any regular imperial troops, also while they have space finding a game is hard and few, with many players going to another town for a game.

nothing big and shocking in any of them but nothing remarkable and saying great store either around here.

This one is not really that bad, but it did irk me at the time. I think it was the 4th edition necron codex (which ever edition was around in 2011) that was being released on my birthday. I reserved a copy weeks in advance and paid a deposit.

The thing is, my FLGS isn't exactly "local". I have to drive 70 miles to get there. That morning I called to make sure it arrived. It had and they guaranteed me that my copy was secured. After a long, lousy, stressful workday I made the long drive (it was my birthday after all) to pick up my book.

When I got there the "new guy" behind the counter told me they were sold out. When I asked him to look in the "reserved" pile he just gave me a blank look. When the guy I knew came over he figured out that the new guy had been selling the reserved copies from under the counter.

Although my birthday sucked I came back two weeks later to pick up a copy. They wanted to charge me full price, even though I had all ready paid a deposit. Apparently their "records" showed I had all ready picked up my copy. After some verbal jousting they reluctantly gave me credit for my deposit.

Just remembered one of the things I once turned down as a commission.
I used to create custom hoodies and shirts for people, complete one-off pieces. Usually done privately and none of tne requests I had were ever NSFW, creepy or whatever.

Except one.

A girl messaged me and asked if I could make her a My Little Pony shirt with two ponies she had designed.
Actually one of my specialities as a vector artist, so I agreed.

"Who are the ponies?"
"My original character in camos, and Drummer Lee Rigby."
Nope nope nopeity nope.

Oh, like the people who make Ponies of the Columbine shooters? Stay away from those people.

Buttery Commissar wrote:Just remembered one of the things I once turned down as a commission.
I used to create custom hoodies and shirts for people, complete one-off pieces. Usually done privately and none of tne requests I had were ever NSFW, creepy or whatever.

Except one.

A girl messaged me and asked if I could make her a My Little Pony shirt with two ponies she had designed.
Actually one of my specialities as a vector artist, so I agreed.

"Who are the ponies?"
"My original character in camos, and Drummer Lee Rigby."
Nope nope nopeity nope.

Matthew wrote:Oh, like the people who make Ponies of the Columbine shooters? Stay away from those people.

That's just sick. Next thing you know they'll be making ponies of the shooter from the recent Orlando gay night club massacre...

That's just sick. Next thing you know they'll be making ponies of the shooter from the recent Orlando gay night club massacre...

What happened to me tonight wasn't quite that bad.

Had someone rent a pet room (dogs and caged birds only) and they paid for three dogs (max number allowed in the room). I caught them sneaking in a dyed pink miniature horse for their amateur My little Pony porn shoot. I booted them out and notified the police because that sounded like cruelty to animals to me. And I thought diarrhea in a waffle iron was bad. Worst part was they tried to convince me to let them stay by offering me a "role" in their movie. All I had to do was put on a horse out fit and do some really disgusting stuff I WILL NOT mention here both to and with the female actor and the horse. All I could say was, "NOPE. NO WAY, NUH-UH."

I really have been watching too much Archer.

Ahh, the dark, seedy underbelly to the Pony fandom.

Crazy people man, I tell you. The stories between me and my brother (we work security) is pretty amusing.

One of my tamer ones was, when I first started working at my job, I walked in on three people banging in a handicap stall. That is not the intended use for the handicap stall.

I mean, hearing two voices from a handicap stall isn't anything crazy, someone could need help using the washroom; no need to tap on the door and make things embarrassing either way.

The third voice saying 'I'm not finished yet" is what tipped me off.

Worked in various retail jobs and spent 3 years doing nightshifts in servo's (fuel stations). Had a gun pulled on me once, and a knife 3 times but not that remarkable to me. Also got grabbed a few times till they put the wire rope on front counter.

Was a common occurrence to have girls trying to get free stuff at 3am by exposing themselves (clubs/pubs shut at 3am), kinda disturbing was most of them would have there man with them, and some you would see later during the day coming in with kids and family lol. Also often had people having sex out back of the shop, was against rules to go outside at night so couldn't yell at them but kinda weird when were supposed to keep an eye on security cameras lol. least i know i'm not the voyeur type.

Had poop smeared all over toilets quite a few times and other things, worst was when 4 kids all decided to do there business on the floor at the same time, or used nappies left at the back of retail racks (their was bins at the front door and outside-wth?)

Sitting in office and had a person fall through roof-wasn't sure what the heck was happening but got cops there and found out he had been planning on waiting till i left to try t0o steal money from the safe.

Friday-sat night's always had at least one person come in to clean themselves up after getting into a punch up, called ambo's couple times for people who where to drunk to realize they where pretty badly hurt, one guy had been half scalped from falling over.

Was a manager for a time, at least once a week i'd have to deal with someone being sexually inappropriate with one of the girls, even having to forcibly evict people from the premises when they wouldn't stop. And after working 5am-1pm having to drive back down at 9pm every night due to girls having stalker ex's or recently broke up ect so they could be safe (and this was straight across road from police station too lol)

Had a lady fill the school bus up (diesel bus) with petrol, started the motor and it exploded and took 7hrs to clean up all the mess, another lady missed the brake's and hit the gas, drove through the front wall, through storage area of shop and out the back wall (built on hill so was 4mtr drop when she went through back wall), 1-2 meters further over and she would have taken me out too lol.

Lots more, but after working retail i'll just say nothing i read here has surprised me lol.

Meh, all fandoms are insane if you dig deep enough. Some are just more open. Yall should see the Homestuck fandom, or the adventure time fandom. They got some crazy stuff.