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I went down to the market one day for some holiday or another and (this is in nepal, remember) and the neighorhood drunk was lying in the mud, with a bottle in either hand, shirtless and his you-know-what showing. he was snoozing there, the cops come over and stand in a ring around this guy and crack up, one of them pokes the guy with his rifle and tells him to get out of the road and be drunk somewhere else. (very friendly here so it was more cordial than you would think.) and the guy wakes up for a moment and does the equivalent of telling him to piss off. the cops start nudgeing him with their boots and poking him and telling him to get up. He does not. so they pick him up and drag him over to the field. I followed.

they dump the guy in the grass and he loses it. He picks up handfuls of (I kid you not) grass and starts trying to throw them at the police, who start howling with laughter and making faces at him, sticking their tongues out, ducking, acting mock-terrified and hiding behind people, the guy, flapping all over the place, seizes a few more handfuls of grass and flings them a whole two feet before he picks up a brick, he tries to throw it, it lands on his foot and he howls in pain, then the drunk picked it up again and tried again, all he succeeded in doing was spinning like a ballerina because he forgot to let go, and flopping on the ground, asleep again.

ineptus astartes wrote:I went down to the market one day for some holiday or another and (this is in nepal, remember) and the neighorhood drunk was lying in the mud, with a bottle in either hand, shirtless and his you-know-what showing. he was snoozing there, the cops come over and stand in a ring around this guy and crack up, one of them pokes the guy with his rifle and tells him to get out of the road and be drunk somewhere else. (very friendly here so it was more cordial than you would think.) and the guy wakes up for a moment and does the equivalent of telling him to piss off. the cops start nudgeing him with their boots and poking him and telling him to get up. He does not. so they pick him up and drag him over to the field. I followed.

they dump the guy in the grass and he loses it. He picks up handfuls of (I kid you not) grass and starts trying to throw them at the police, who start howling with laughter and making faces at him, sticking their tongues out, ducking, acting mock-terrified and hiding behind people, the guy, flapping all over the place, seizes a few more handfuls of grass and flings them a whole two feet before he picks up a brick, he tries to throw it, it lands on his foot and he howls in pain, then the drunk picked it up again and tried again, all he succeeded in doing was spinning like a ballerina because he forgot to let go, and flopping on the ground, asleep again.

This.

I read some of frazzled's posts.

His posts and my reading them both qualify...

Out camping with my mates as a teenager (getting munted in the woods). Mate pulls out a 5.56 places it against a tree, builds a mound of kindling around it. Lights it and says "run". Cue some nervous anticipation while hiding behind trees as a piece of misappropriated British army merchandise goes whizzing off to god knows were.

Mu dad driving. We where coming up on a road(im in the car BTW) and its is a four lane road going on way, and one next to it going to other way with a divider(big enough to drive through. He didnt feel like turning right to drive a bit to make a U turn. He drives straight across 4 lanes and across a divider to make a left turn.
Yup.
Also, i was working and someone asked me something stupid.
I gave her a free hot dog because she voted, she asked me
"Will this make me fat?"

Way back in my high school days, we'd have semi-regular visits from the Halton Regional Police drug squad who'd come in and do a sweep of the school for any controlled substances.

This one absolute genius decided to hide his joints in his shoe because he figured the smell of his unwashed feet would conceal the weed from the police dogs... So now he has a dog following him across the front entrance and after a few seconds it barks, letting its officer handler know it's caught a whiff of something.
Genius-mcgee turns around, pulls his leg back and tried to kick the dog.

This brilliant idea ended with the dog savaging his leg, the officers finding his stash of weed in his shoe, and additional charges for assaulting an officer along with his free ride to the hospital for stitches and a mandetory rabies shot!

The rest of us who'd seen it got to pet the cute little puppy dog afterwards!

New one.

What's the most stupid thing I've ever seen anybody do ever?

Get in my way.

Swimming in a creek, a smart friend of mine thought he didn't need to get out of the water to empty his bowels.

So anyway swimming along and another guy says, "Hey mate, is that a turd floating there?"

Another friend, "Nah just a log or stick or something". This guy then grabs it.

Absolute cracker. There was one incident with friends at our version of a theme park, Adventure World. Weedy theme park which has aspirations to try and be something. Anyway, my friend decides to go down the sledding track. However, the numbnut drops his phone halfway along the track, stops the sled and gets the phone, gets back on the sled, and the guy behind him barrels into the sled at 35km/h without brakes. My friend broke his wrist, and had to have stitches for a cut to his head.

About 2 weeks later, they close the sledding ride.

Oh hahaa that reminds me of something that happened the other day. A woman was on the treadmill jogging while texting. She drops the phone and the thing flings 2 metres behind her. Unfortunately she thought she could catch it before it hit the moving platform. This caused her to trip, going into a roll, which the treadmill then spits her out, flinging her about 2 metres.

I had a classmate who lit up a blunt in the middle of class freshmen year of high school. The substitute didn't even report him, she was afraid of losing her job for letting it happen.

BlapBlapBlap wrote:New one.

What's the most stupid thing I've ever seen anybody do ever?

Get in my way.

More on topic, the stupidest thing I've ever seen someone do was either when my Uncle purposefully ate this extremely large wasp he found or when I rode a recycling cart down a very, very, very steep driveway.

Years back one of my friends cousins from Canada was staying and we'd taken him to a pup which we regularly frequented.

It'd had recently taken a new owner who was desperately trying to make it into a more respectable place rather than the rock and kind of grungy place it had been in the past. Spending a lot of time redecorating.
Anyway another of my friends had bought Turkish Delight back from a trip to Turkey and everyone had eaten the chunks leaving just the very fine powdery sugar.

This Canadian guy would just do whatever was asked of him and we had dared him to snort a line of the sugar off the table.

He promptly did so but at the exact same time a fairly large-ish group of 'respectable' looking people looking for a table rounded the corner and gasped loudly, I remember one saying come on Nigel we can't stay here! Then they left in a hurry.

The owner came and scowled at us but didn’t know what had happened so it was all left alone.

Then it was in the local newspaper at the weekend that cocaine was in open use at the pup and it was temporarily closed pending investigation by the police.

It turned out fine in the end though for the owner but it’s just too clean and tidy there now, it just doesn't feel right… the pubs soul has gone.

Anyway that Canadian guy was crazy!

I nearly got shot during my time in the german military.
We had a field exercise with live ammunition, the goal was to storm a small village. Behind the village was a hill with targets for our MG on Truck, the targets for the rest of the platoon popped up in the village.
So.. our MG Gunner obvioulsy didn't listen to his instructions, because when the first targets left of me in the village popped up, he happily started to shoot them, bursting between me and a mate. We were 3m apart and the bullets buzzed and whined between us. I hit the dirt and I could feel the bullets flying by when he shot another target right in front of me, a really strange feeling of ripping air and angry bees.
The MG-fire stopped apruptly, I stood up a little later all shaken up and looking back, I could see the MG Gunner sprawled behind the truck in the dirt. Our Sarge, observing the exercise had punched him from the truck and broken his nose...

Exercise Day was over for me afterwards, I barely could walk home because if my wobbly legs

Quite so.

I started collecting Warhammer and didn't stop. Thats stupid...

two that I didn't technically see, but was part of.

In S5 one of my friends thought he'd be clever and jump onto my back and start mucking about while I was talking to somebody, I react and try to slam him into the concrete pillar I know is behind me, but I misjudge the distance and almost shattered the wire-in-glass window and managed to pop it out the frame.

Then there was the time in S6 where we managed to acidenaly set of the school fire alarm, it was snowing and one of my friends chucked a snowball at me, he runs and I give chase, skidding on some water as I run through a double door. My shoulde bag catches on the edge of the door and manages to hit the alarm button (I know, we were all like WTF) we make it another 10-15 meters before the alarm goes off and we realise it was that one that got hit. Luckily the fire brigade didn't charge us and not surpisingly over the next few weeks most of the alarms developed plastic covers that you had to lift up to press the button.

I've got a knack for stupid things, unfortunately. Probably the stupidest thing I've seen someone (myself) do was to try to work on a TV. While it was plugged in. It was making a high pitched whine, but it only did it while it was turned on. This was like, 6-7 years ago, so it was a nice big 27" CRT TV. You know, with the big freaking high voltage tube in it?

So, I had the back off of it, and I had figured out that it had something to do with the circuit board in it. It seemed that whenever I flexed it in a particular direction, it stopped whining. I figured something was loose and vibrating at an insane frequency or there was some high voltage(warning sign!) arcing or something somewhere. There was a bare-metal heatsink for some component in there, with two flat black painted pieces of plastic attached to it to help stabilize it. Using only one hand, I bent the piece of plastic and it changed pitch. Using the same hand, I bent the metal piece a different direction and the pitch changed differently. Knowing that I found my culprit, I grabbed the plastic with one hand, and the metal with the other, after all, that's safe right? Plastic is an electrical insulator.

Turns out it wasn't plastic painted flat black. It was metal painted black.

The next thing I remember is my roommate standing over me asking me if I was okay or if I needed to go to the hospital. I was slumped against the dresser on the opposite side of the room (not hard, it was a dorm room, so it's only like 8-10 feet wide). My arms tingled and felt numb on up to my elbows for about 3 days after that. Apparently I jerked on the board so hard that the damn thing stopped whining afterwards though.

daedalus wrote:I've got a knack for stupid things, unfortunately. Probably the stupidest thing I've seen someone (myself) do was to try to work on a TV. While it was plugged in. It was making a high pitched whine, but it only did it while it was turned on. This was like, 6-7 years ago, so it was a nice big 27" CRT TV. You know, with the big freaking high voltage tube in it?

So, I had the back off of it, and I had figured out that it had something to do with the circuit board in it. It seemed that whenever I flexed it in a particular direction, it stopped whining. I figured something was loose and vibrating at an insane frequency or there was some high voltage(warning sign!) arcing or something somewhere. There was a bare-metal heatsink for some component in there, with two flat black painted pieces of plastic attached to it to help stabilize it. Using only one hand, I bent the piece of plastic and it changed pitch. Using the same hand, I bent the metal piece a different direction and the pitch changed differently. Knowing that I found my culprit, I grabbed the plastic with one hand, and the metal with the other, after all, that's safe right? Plastic is an electrical insulator.

Turns out it wasn't plastic painted flat black. It was metal painted black.

The next thing I remember is my roommate standing over me asking me if I was okay or if I needed to go to the hospital. I was slumped against the dresser on the opposite side of the room (not hard, it was a dorm room, so it's only like 8-10 feet wide). My arms tingled and felt numb on up to my elbows for about 3 days after that. Apparently I jerked on the board so hard that the damn thing stopped whining afterwards though.

At least you got the job done

One of my friends can come out with some really stupid things sometimes, she is fairly smart but could easily fool you at times.

Last October we were in Heathrow Airport and she said Bomb in some context or other to which everyone in the group stared at her and one of said "You can can't say that in an airport" to which she instantly replied "It's not like I said that Osama Bin Laden is a Lad"

Another time she was pouring some coke from a 2L bottle for her sister and her finger got burnt by the candle on the table, when she felt the pain her reaction was to squeeze the bottle of coke as hard as she could all over her sister.

In our school we have a balcony above what used to be the library, it's now used for assemblies. There was crash mat in it randomly, so a 4th year decided to climb the barrier and jump onto it, he missed. Not only that in our next Physics lesson we worked out that he hit the floor at around 30mph, you know so the mat wouldn't of helped if he was accurate.

In primary school my brother pencil rolled down a hill onto some stone steps and broke his nose.

Me and some of my friends were mucking around in the playground next to our church until one girl got stuck in the baby swing and we left her there for about half an hour

BlapBlapBlap wrote:
At least you got the job done

That's one way of looking at it. That TV got me through about another 4 years before I finally tossed it and went to a LCD. Electrocution is not something I recommend. I'd probably describe the pain second worst only to heat burns.

While training I was acting as the enemy with another guy we shall call Bivo for the moment. So anyway me and Bivo are laying down waiting for a section to walk past in pitch darkness of the night. Suddenly this guy comes out of no where, screaming "Enemy, enemy! I need help! Enemy come out f*****g now!" while waving his torch around frantically. We get out of our concealed position thinking it's serious and walk up to him asking "what the hell is wrong?" Turned out he was lost. So we helped him out, got his map and pointed out a bridge he had just walked over. It was the only bridge on the map.... He didn't make it to the end of the course.

daedalus wrote:

BlapBlapBlap wrote:
At least you got the job done

That's one way of looking at it. That TV got me through about another 4 years before I finally tossed it and went to a LCD. Electrocution is not something I recommend. I'd probably describe the pain second worst only to heat burns.

Yea electrical fething hurts. I was helping my brother the Giant install some garage lights, in his garage, and neither of us are good at electrical, but like you with your TV, we knew we could handle it So I tell him to turn his power off for the garage, so I dont get shocked. So hes in his basement, with the window open, and Im in the garage messing around. While working the wires, I sneeze, and my gak brother thinks for whatever reason I said "OK TURN IT ON!" and so he turns the breaker back on. I was holding the wire in one hand, and screwing something back in with the other. Its a bit fuzzy but I clearly remember seeing the arc jump out of my finger into the other wires.

He said he heard a weird noise and shut it off thank god. But that fething hurt. Like no joke, it was strait, not funny, pain

I have two Instances.

This:

The other time is when I was at School, talking to all my friends. Then I see one of my other friends dressed cosplayed as a Tau Firewarrior running around and screaming "I'm a fething Space commie, come at me Imperial scum.". I was not impressed.

That burger did look pretty tasty though...

Had one of my High School friends get hammered and bet me 10 bucks he could cut himself with shampoo.

Still trying to figure out how he did it.

I hope that homeless video is a joke and not an actual homeless guy, cause it's loved up if it is...

Amaya wrote:I hope that homeless video is a joke and not an actual homeless guy, cause it's loved up if it is...

It didn't look really real.


@rockerbikie. Lol about the space commie. He should have read my sig before trying that.

Ledabot wrote:

Amaya wrote:I hope that homeless video is a joke and not an actual homeless guy, cause it's loved up if it is...

It didn't look really real.


@rockerbikie. Lol about the space commie. He should have read my sig before trying that.

He's a friend who used to be Homeless.

Iur_tae_mont wrote:Had one of my High School friends get hammered and bet me 10 bucks he could cut himself with shampoo.

Still trying to figure out how he did it.

Freeze it....