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Granted, you are woman and you are able to recognise even more colors than before. Enjoy your new salmon-color skirt as a bonus.

I wish to have un-kickoutable door into my room.

Granted. Your room has a door made of iron bars, just like all of the other cells do.

I wish for a fun morning.

Granted. You are sent to Slaanesh's place.

I wish next year's school camp has actual good food.

Granted. It has good food, but beds are terrible. + roaches as a bonus.

I wish my pet rabbit wouldn't chew everything he comes across.

Granted, now all his teeth are way too long.

I wish for a box of Milk Duds.

Granted. They expired in 1982.

I wish for an entertaining presidential debate.

Granted. You are watching old Regan debate re-runs.

I wish for new underwear.

Granted. You've got new underwear from your old lovely grandma, who still thinks you are 12y/o.

I wish for a new wall mirror. (the old one unsticked itself and fell)

Granted. The life size poster of you that you ordered is presently being hung on your wall, talk about mirror image.

I wish I could get paid for doing nothing.

Granted. You are paid well to sit in the water doing nothing, in order to attract sharks for research.

I wish I had more time in a day.

Granted. You have insomnia. 8 hours added to your day.

I wish for the perfect Halloween costume.

Granted. As you go out, people start run away in fear, thinking it's for real.

I wish for new shoes.

Granted. You notice that you have been sent bootleg Jordans with the no soles.

I wish for people to actually think before they do something

Granted. The resulting traffic jam takes days to clear up.

I wish for drivers to use their turn signals.

Granted. You move to Florida, where our beloved senior citizens use their turn signals, but insist on making left turns from the right lane. (And vice-versa.)

I wish I could slam dunk a basketball.

Granted. The other players throw you high enough to dunk it.

I wish drivers would slow down when its raining outside.

Granted. Average speed during rain is now 30km/h. (about 18mph)

I wish to score a Strike! in bownling.

Granted. You score in bownling, a sport only you play and no one ever cares.

I wish I was warm.

Granted. You are warm. Later, you are too warm. Even later you are hot, and in the end, you spontaneusly combust.

I wish to be released from prison.

Granted. You are taken outside and shot.

I wish there would be no rain on weekends in October.

Granted. You spend October in Somalia.


I wish for new guitar strings.

Granted. They're used to garrote you.

I wish my RPG players would stop minmaxing!

Granted. All of their stuff is gone and they are locked in individual cells. And they quit playing.

I wish our RPG group met a bit earlier in the day, for longer sessions.

Granted. It's the best way you can think of to spend your October in Somalia.


I wish for a throne of solid gold.

Granted. The floor under the throne collapsed under its weight, along with your house.

I wish for functional heating in my flat. (this is actually a real wish)

Granted, your flat is now a nice and balmy 45C.

I wish unicorns were real.

Granted. You are taken to fairyland were unicorns wished that humans were real.

I wished that we could colonize Mars

Granted. You are the first one dropped off there, everyone else will be on the next rocket, in a few years. And the Starbucks is closed until then.

I wish for a good cup of coffee.

Granted. Mars is colonised, but the collonists are fighting each other over political beliefs.

I wish for more rubbish bins in the streets.

// Ninja'd

So I get to corrupt two wishes then? Excellent!

@Snurl: Granted. You find a good cup of coffee, but it is at the Mars Starbucks.

@Hawky: Granted. Your town suffers from a massive windstorm which, among other things, blows all of the rubbish bins into the streets.

I wish for better weather.