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Made in us
Quick-fingered Warlord Moderatus






Dear Slaanesh,
You know, this may actually be a chance to start afresh! Maybe he shall be the one to save this Imperium and begin a Second Great Crusade! It'll be just like the old days, Father and Son, knockin' about the galaxy, just havin' a gay old time--
Oh, hang on, I sense something's happening to him... A disturbance in the Warp... Oh, there's something coming out of his left nostril...
Oh. He just... turned into a Chaos Spawn...........Well, so much for that plan.
E.


Hey, dad,
It's me, your son. Long time no see. Just wanted to check up and such, wish you a happy New Emperor's Day and whatnot. I'm doin' alright on my Plague World, getting some new disease from Papa Nurgle and stuff, been waiting to try it out.
Hope you write back soon.
Love,
Mortarion

Lord Judicator Valdrakh of the Atun Dynasty (6th Ed: W:3, L:4, D:0)

 H.B.M.C. wrote:
Well GW were mostly responsible for the Berlin Wall, so it's natural for some people to harbour resentment towards them.
 
   
Made in ph
Battleship Captain




Calixis Sector

Mortarion,

I'm glad to know you're doing well, though if you'd like a suggestion from your old man, I've heard the Dark Eldar are incredibly resistant to poisons and viruses of all kinds. If anything can impress old man Nurgle (he's a really great guy to hang out with outside of business), its to unleash an epidemic on those guys.

Sincerely, father.


To the Emperor,

That boy of yours, Draigo, went and burned down my circles today. Not only that, he collapsed my palace right on top of me. I hate to sound like I'm whining, but I wouldn't be writing this if it weren't for the fact he did it while a company of Bloodletters were passing by. They saw everything, and now Khorne is passing around medals commemorating what happened today and is making a laughingstock of me. To make it worse, while repairing the palace isn't that big a deal, I've lost precious collections of art and specimens. Do something about the boy of yours; no one likes a party-pooper.

From Slaanesh.

PS: The repair bill is enclosed, by the way.

This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2013/01/02 12:40:22


"In every age, in every place, the deeds of men remain the same" 
   
Made in in
[MOD]
Otiose in a Niche






Hyderabad, India

 Admiral Valerian wrote:

To the Emperor,

That boy of yours, Draigo, went and burned down my circles today. Not only that, he collapsed my palace right on top of me. I hate to sound like I'm whining, but I wouldn't be writing this if it weren't for the fact he did it while a company of Bloodletters were passing by. They saw everything, and now Khorne is passing around medals commemorating what happened today and is making a laughingstock of me. To make it worse, while repairing the palace isn't that big a deal, I've lost precious collections of art and specimens. Do something about the boy of yours; no one likes a party-pooper.

From Slaanesh.

PS: The repair bill is enclosed, by the way.


Tell me about it! That boy keeps calling me at like 3am to talk about how man demons he killed or how pure he is or how awesome his airplanes are and I'm like Draigo do you not know how Time Warps work? It's fricking 3 am on Holy Terra and have a hard day of defending the universe against demons tomorrow! Some nights I can't get back to sleep and I'm all bleery eyed the next day!

Anyway the kid's over 18 and he's a grandson anyway so if you've got trouble take it up with him.

Teh Emporer of Mankind!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

M'Lord!

For many Light Years I have served my chapter, first as an elite scout, then as a battle brother, and for the last century as a sergeant.

I have slain many of your foes and personally brought in 2 of the Fallen so that they may be brought to the light.

My work was rewarded last week when I was at last promoted to the ranks of the Deathwing and given my own suit of tactical dreadnought armor. There I was reading my acceptance speech to the assembled ranks of the chapter, thanking my Scout Sergeant, my Emperor and of course my mom and dad when all of the sudden the doors opened and several Terminators armed with storm shields and some kind of stick and ball thing walked in.

One bellowed "Yo-yo-yo Black Knights in the Hizz-ouse!"

I of course demanded they explain themselves and their intrusion for they had entered a sacred meeting of the Deathwing, the elite of the chapter and inner circle of its workings. And in any case the Black Templars are located many Space Miles away.

Instead one responded "Yo-yo-yo-yo we the Black Knights yo! Not some bogus Black Templars! We the best, of the best, of the best, of the best!" Then he called for the DJ to "lay down some phat beats" and in flew some sort of suped up stretch Land Speeder with a DJ in the back. Soon everyone was break dancing!

I grabbed one as he was in mid helicopter and called for answers. "Yo-yo-yo-yo, we Dark Angels yo! You just ain't seen us cause we been out huntin the fallen with our Nephelim fliers and Land Speeder Vengences!"

I would have struck him there for daring to claim he was of our chapter had not Chaplain Asmodai walked in and vouched for them.

But now that I think about Chaplain Asmodai did not look quite like himself. And in all my centuries with the chapter I have never heard of these 'black Knights' nor their "Dark Talon" fliers nor the "Land Speeder Vengance". Could this be a plot by the fallen to infiltrate our august chapter? Please m'lord help me!

Yours
Deathwing Brother Bert
The Rock

 
   
Made in us
Veteran Inquisitorial Tyranid Xenokiller






The Peripheral

Beloved brother Bert,

Lay up on the hiz to 'arted on my boys, they only doing what they feel in their funk soulja brothah my brotha from anotha motha!

You feel me? You dig?

No?

I sense even now as I inscribe to you that I may have estranged a doubt only own my word may cure. I sayth unto you child, fear not, doth Inquisition shalt quell thus with all due haste and get embodied into the spirit of the expression, "medieval on their asses."

Sincerely, with love and irreplaceable authority,

The Emperor

Ammene.

........................


Dear Emperor,

Why does the Black Library continually reject my proposal for a small bit of remodeling of the Imperium? I mean, I followed every Mechanicus code, credible Inquisitional source, and followed your word by the grace of the Ecclesiarchy. I even paid my dues to the Administratum for once! But the eternal guard of their hallowed halls still remained as silent as you can be on your worst days.

Worse still, they say the gates are sealed shut because of Ahriman's tiresome meddling!

Is there something I've done wrong? Something I overlooked? It'd be heresy to blame the talents you gave me, but I ask you, are they worthy of such an ambition? Or am I simply playing a fool's errand while Tzeentch laughs at me?

I hate his laugh, you know I'd rather put my head in a scrap grinder than hear it.

Please help me Emperor, I feel like I must know.

Sincerely,

Your devoted child,

Demetri Dominov

 
   
Made in gb
Huge Hierodule





The centre of a massive brood chamber, heaving and pulsating.

Dear Mah Boi, Demitri Dominov,

Alas, Ahriman has stolen all the books from the Black Library and is refusing to give them back, or at the very least renew them. As such the Black Library is closed until he returns them. They're well overdue, it can't be long now...

Yours enjoying delicious dinner,

King Harkinian-sorry, The God Emperor.



DEE-AARH FOLSE EM-PEH-ROR,

Me ahnd mai mees-tress, Sees-torr Seh-rah-fee-nah, hawf been leeh-veeng too-geth-oor for ku-wite some tiyam now. Wee lawf eech awthor very very much, but wee hawf been gett-eeng boared ree-sent-lee. Can yooo sah-ggest annee way too spaice awp awr lawf life?

Yoors Een-Cawm-Preh-Hen-See-Blee,

Cultist-Chan.

PS: Saw-ree abawt de whawl "folse em-peh-ror" thing. Eet goes weeth de job dee-screep-tion.

Squigsquasher, resident ban magnet, White Knight, and general fethwit.
 buddha wrote:
I've decided that these GW is dead/dying threads that pop up every-week must be followers and cultists of nurgle perpetuating the need for decay. I therefore declare that that such threads are heresy and subject to exterminatus. So says the Inquisition!
 
   
Made in ph
Battleship Captain




Calixis Sector

Cultist-chan,

First, take a bath, then have your teeth fixed. Then go to school.

Sincerely, the Emperor.


Emps,

You're just the man I need. Can you loosen this mike stand? Khorne was here earlier, but he just tightened it.

Sincerely, Tzeentch.

This message was edited 3 times. Last update was at 2013/01/31 00:13:05


"In every age, in every place, the deeds of men remain the same" 
   
Made in ca
Nasty Nob





Canada

Dear Tzeench

No my tentacley friend, I cannot. This, I think, is just another move in your eternal scheming. Anyways, good luck with the eternal game, or whatever you call it.

...

Dear Emperor

I am Judy and I am five. This Ascension Day, I want a stuffed grox, a dolly, a box of space marines and a choo-choo train.
I'd also like the aliens to stop being so mean to everybody. Could you, please? I'll leave a bag of plasma and a vitamin tablet by the fireplace for when you come down the chimney.

Your faithful faithful
Judy

Stomped

To Be Stomped
No One
My vision of how 40k ends: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5937830/1/Time-of-Ending-the-40k-Finale  
   
Made in gb
Ork-Hunting Inquisitorial Xenokiller






Carlisle, UK

Dear Immortal Emperor Of Mankind, to whom we owe everything.

Sup bro? whats the crack lyk?

Sincerely, Malcador the sigillite, regent of terra


2000pts IG. ( based on fallout US Army)

3000pts XIIth Legiones Astartes 8th Assault Company. (Pre heresy)

never in the field of human conflict, has so much been fired at so many, by so few.

My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, Commander of the armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions. Loyal servant to the true emperor Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.
Please leave your message after the tone...
 
   
Made in gb
Huge Hierodule





The centre of a massive brood chamber, heaving and pulsating.

Dear Malcador,

Call me later when you have learned to spell more gooder.

Your disappointedly,

Teh Spess Emprah.


To Our Protector and Father, the Immortal God-Emperor of Mankind,

So, we were making landfall on the world of Faegis 3 to combat the burgeoning WAAAAGH! of Klubnutz da Krusha, and were about to launch a Stormraven wing, when suddenly, we heard a very loud and familiar noise. A Stormraven flew right above us, only it was blue! And then an Ultramarine stuck his head out the window and flipped us the bird!

I do believe our azure clad brothers have stolen our aircraft!

Please give them back!

Yours Frustratedly,

Marco Santino, Captain of the Blood Angels 6th Company.

Squigsquasher, resident ban magnet, White Knight, and general fethwit.
 buddha wrote:
I've decided that these GW is dead/dying threads that pop up every-week must be followers and cultists of nurgle perpetuating the need for decay. I therefore declare that that such threads are heresy and subject to exterminatus. So says the Inquisition!
 
   
Made in gb
Gun Mage





In the Chaos Wastes, Killing the Chaos scum of the north

Dear Marco Santino
Calm down; read a book, put on your nipple tassels, drink some blood, do what ever creepy stuff you guys do.
Now your calm; WHAT THE **** DO YOU THINK YOU WHINING ABOUT, GET MAD, GET ANGRY, GO CHARGE THEIR PUNY PLANET AND KILL THEM, DRINK THEIR BLOOD, GIVE ME THEIR SKULLS!
-The Emperor (not Khorne okay?)


Dear father
Why don't you like me ?

-Yours abandondly
The second Primarch

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2013/02/17 20:12:51


 Thortek wrote:


Was she hot? I'd totally bang a cougar for some minis.

Wanna see some Cygnar? Witty coments? Mediocre painting? Check this out! 
   
Made in gb
Ork-Hunting Inquisitorial Xenokiller






Carlisle, UK

Dear "second Primarch"

Which one were you again?!

Your loving father, The immortal Emperor of Mankind, to whom we owe everything


2000pts IG. ( based on fallout US Army)

3000pts XIIth Legiones Astartes 8th Assault Company. (Pre heresy)

never in the field of human conflict, has so much been fired at so many, by so few.

My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, Commander of the armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions. Loyal servant to the true emperor Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.
Please leave your message after the tone...
 
   
Made in gb
Precocious Human Child




Aboard the Inquisitorial Strike Crusier Athelleon

Dear Immortal Emperor,

Please, please can you tell those whiney Space cadets of yours to get out of my way so I can hurry uo and conquer the galaxy?

Cheers!
Ezekyle Abaddon (the Despoiler)


Cesare Vezzoni

Lord Inquisitor

Ordo Xenos 
   
Made in us
Lone Wolf Sentinel Pilot





Northern California

Dear abbadon,
While I would like to tell the space cadets to stop defending the galaxy, unfortunately it would crush their childhood dreams of ever becoming space marines, and who wants to do that? Moreover, I don't have a fully functioning mouth and all my brain juice is fueling this giant flashlight thingy that keeps all the roaches out of the intergalactic kitchen.
The Space Empra

Dear Sphess Empra,

How cahn hi lheern to pronunce my wherds bettah? I want to nhame the operation "steel rain" but all I cahn say is STHEEL RHAEN.
Sincerely,
Indrick Boreale

DC:80+S+++GM+B++IPw40k08++D++A+++/hWD346R++T(M)DM+ Successful trades with Tweems, Polonius, Porkuslime, Mark94656, TheCupcakeCowboy, MarshalMathis, and Hahnjoelo
 
   
Made in gb
Huge Hierodule





The centre of a massive brood chamber, heaving and pulsating.

Daehr Inderhk Boreael,

I cannawt hewlp yoo. I hawf cawt the awflection as wehl.

Perhawps Fievarus Cawrron cawn hehlp yoo geht reed awf yoor speech impehdement.

Yoors Bawldly,

Teh Spess Emprah.


Dear Misguided Human Emperor,

If I hear just 1 more person calling us the anime army I am going to tear their liver out through their eye socket.

Just thought you should know.

Yours Murderously,

Shadowsun.

Squigsquasher, resident ban magnet, White Knight, and general fethwit.
 buddha wrote:
I've decided that these GW is dead/dying threads that pop up every-week must be followers and cultists of nurgle perpetuating the need for decay. I therefore declare that that such threads are heresy and subject to exterminatus. So says the Inquisition!
 
   
Made in gb
Courageous Space Marine Captain






Glasgow, Scotland

Dear Gundam-man101

I will enjoy watching your empire crumble. And let's face it, you couldn't if you tried, even if I had a liver to tear out.

Yours oppressively

The Emperor of the Imperium of Man, a REAL Empire.

Ps- Say Hi to Goku for me!

I'm celebrating 8 years on Dakka Dakka!
I started an Instagram! Follow me at Deadshot Miniatures!
DR:90+S++G+++M+B+IPw40k08#-D+++A+++/cwd363R+++T(Ot)DM+
Check out my Deathwatch story, Aftermath in the fiction section!

Credit to Castiel for banner. Thanks Cas!
 
   
Made in gb
The Last Chancer Who Survived




United Kingdom

To The Emperor of Mankind,

I CHALLENGE YOU TO A FIGHT TO THE DEATH!

-Sincerely, Kharn The Betrayer.
   
Made in us
Land Raider Pilot on Cruise Control






Cincinnati, Ohio

To The Emperor of Mankind,

I CHALLENGE YOU TO A FIGHT TO THE DEATH!

-Sincerely, Kharn The Betrayer.

Dear Grandchild Kharn,

I heard about you. Angron told me how much you loved fighting, so i guess this isnt a surprise. If you are serious about this, just stop on by Terra and I'll fight.

Sincerely,
Your Grandfather

PS: Please kick in Abaddon's face for me on the way over.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Emperor,

Sometimes after reading the great accomplishments of your 18 great sons, i wonder why your son Roboute had to divy up the Astartes as to not make them as awesome as before Horus threw a fit. What is your opinion about this?

Sincerely,
A Curious Military Remembrancer

This message was edited 3 times. Last update was at 2013/03/31 20:32:14


Blood Ravens 2nd Company (C:SM)
 
   
Made in gb
Courageous Space Marine Captain






Glasgow, Scotland

ace101 wrote:

Dear Emperor,

Sometimes after reading the great accomplishments of your 18 great sons, i wonder why your son Roboute had to divy up the Astartes as to not make them as awesome as before Horus threw a fit. What is your opinion about this?

Sincerely,
A Curious Military Remembrancer



Dear remembrancer

I have been sitting here for 10,000 years mind-fighting Daemons. I honestly don't give a flying krootox what Roboute has done to my empire.

Hold on, he did what? I'll sort this out!



Selym wrote:To The Emperor of Mankind,

I CHALLENGE YOU TO A FIGHT TO THE DEATH!

-Sincerely, Kharn The Betrayer.


Sorry Kharn, Horus beat you too it!

Sincerely the Emps.






Dear Emperor

I WILL DESTROY YOU RRRRRRAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!
Have a nice day!

-Khorne

I'm celebrating 8 years on Dakka Dakka!
I started an Instagram! Follow me at Deadshot Miniatures!
DR:90+S++G+++M+B+IPw40k08#-D+++A+++/cwd363R+++T(Ot)DM+
Check out my Deathwatch story, Aftermath in the fiction section!

Credit to Castiel for banner. Thanks Cas!
 
   
Made in gb
The Last Chancer Who Survived




United Kingdom

 Deadshot wrote:

Dear Emperor

I WILL DESTROY YOU RRRRRRAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!
Have a nice day!

-Khorne


Dear Khorne,

I've been mind-battling you and all the other gods for the past ten thousand years. Even with all that, I still manage to find time to play Paradox Poker with Tzeentch, Cegoratch and Eldrad.
I really don't give a flying hive tyrant about you. I could defeat you in my sleep. Oh wait...

..I already did.

With love, Empy.

____________________________________

To the Emperah,

Can I have some more Det-Packs, please?

- Guardsman Marbo
   
Made in gb
Fixture of Dakka






Lincolnshire, UK

Selym wrote:
To the Emperah,

Can I have some more Det-Packs, please?

- Guardsman Marbo


Dear Guardsman Marbo,

It is Christmas in just under 9 months, so you will have to wait until then.

This does all depend on whether you have been a good boy of course: so no sneaking up on people, no blowing people up, no headshots, no first blood, no hiding in reserves; none of it, you understand? Good - see you in 9.

Now go do the Emperor's work like a good boy.

Kind Regards,

Santa Cla---The Emperor.


-----------------------

Dear Emperor,

Why do you never call us any more?

Yours faithfully [for now],

Sister Davina, representative of the Adeptus Sororitas

Enlist as a virtual Ultramarine! Click here for my Chaos Gate (PC) thread.

"It is the great irony of the Legiones Astartes: engineered to kill to achieve a victory of peace that they can then be no part of."
- Roboute Guilliman

"As I recall, your face was tortured. Imagine that - the Master of the Wolves, his ferocity twisted into grief. And yet you still carried out your duty. You always did what was asked of you. So loyal. So tenacious. Truly you were the attack dog of the Emperor. You took no pleasure in what you did. I knew that then, and I know it now. But all things change, my brother. I'm not the same as I was, and you're... well, let us not mention where you are now."
- Magnus the Red, to a statue of Leman Russ
 
   
Made in gb
Huge Hierodule





The centre of a massive brood chamber, heaving and pulsating.

Dear Sister Daviana,

I'm very sorry, I've been rather tied up with, umm....work, yes, that's it, work. *shoos away Daemonettes*

I'll see you again on Sunday. The egg whisk, the wet celery and the baby oil as usual?

Yours Apologetically,

Teh Spess Pimprah.


*RGhTrgrghrgrgrgrtttghrgrht* Dear False Emperor,

We have been marauding the materium for quite some *BLRGRRHRHRYTTTTHHGH* time now, and have wiped clean many *ggglllrgthtrgrht* worlds. We have killed, looted, burned, pillaged, violated and slaughtered our way through the *RRGGAGAGAGAHHTTTHHHHH* galaxy, all whilst screaming our throats out to the tune of the greatest rock'n'roll the universe has ever *GRGhhGhhllllttggggg* known, with our backup Daemonette band, the Hell's Bells.

One day, whilst ransacking the cathedral world of Othello IV, and giving the Sororitas Order of the Sacred Seal the best Deep Strike they've had in a *GGHHHHHTTTGLlLGGGHHHHHH* long time, we came across a hidden vault, containing an ancient *BBBLLLRRRRRRRGGGTTHHH* form of data containment from the early days of humanity, called a "CD". One of the Sisters prayed to us that we did not listen to it, for it was supposedly by a cabal of songsmiths who could make the Dark Gods wince in pain. This cabal were called *Ghhhhrtthllllll* Nickelback, and were supposedly the worst thing to grace the universe.

So we listened to it and...

It wasn't all that *GrrthGGGllll* bad.

What's all the fuss about? It's still better than "Long Haired Lover From Liverpool".

Yours *BBRLLLGGRTH* Confusedly,

Arctoros Raskar, Emperor's Children warband "Carnal Claws".

Squigsquasher, resident ban magnet, White Knight, and general fethwit.
 buddha wrote:
I've decided that these GW is dead/dying threads that pop up every-week must be followers and cultists of nurgle perpetuating the need for decay. I therefore declare that that such threads are heresy and subject to exterminatus. So says the Inquisition!
 
   
Made in in
[MOD]
Otiose in a Niche






Hyderabad, India

 Squigsquasher wrote:


*RGhTrgrghrgrgrgrtttghrgrht* Dear False Emperor,

We have been marauding the materium for quite some *BLRGRRHRHRYTTTTHHGH* time now, and have wiped clean many *ggglllrgthtrgrht* worlds. We have killed, looted, burned, pillaged, violated and slaughtered our way through the *RRGGAGAGAGAHHTTTHHHHH* galaxy, all whilst screaming our throats out to the tune of the greatest rock'n'roll the universe has ever *GRGhhGhhllllttggggg* known, with our backup Daemonette band, the Hell's Bells.

One day, whilst ransacking the cathedral world of Othello IV, and giving the Sororitas Order of the Sacred Seal the best Deep Strike they've had in a *GGHHHHHTTTGLlLGGGHHHHHH* long time, we came across a hidden vault, containing an ancient *BBBLLLRRRRRRRGGGTTHHH* form of data containment from the early days of humanity, called a "CD". One of the Sisters prayed to us that we did not listen to it, for it was supposedly by a cabal of songsmiths who could make the Dark Gods wince in pain. This cabal were called *Ghhhhrtthllllll* Nickelback, and were supposedly the worst thing to grace the universe.

So we listened to it and...

It wasn't all that *GrrthGGGllll* bad.

What's all the fuss about? It's still better than "Long Haired Lover From Liverpool".

Yours *BBRLLLGGRTH* Confusedly,

Arctoros Raskar, Emperor's Children warband "Carnal Claws".



Dear Arctoros

How's it going man! Haven't seen you in ages, not since that whole thing with Horus and whatever. Man remember that time we liberated the Cheerleader Planet of Gatus VI or that weekend on the Bikini Asteroid belt?

Good times man, good times.

Anyway yeah, Nickleback... I mean what can I say I was young, just a wee lad of 2k and I thought they were the @#$%. That was before I got into Blondfire, man those guys were great.

Thanks for the memories
E

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spacey, it's me, your Mother.

You know today is Mother's Day but I think your gift might have gotten lost in the mail because I didn't get it.

Also I think your phone might be broken because I didn't get your call.

Your brother The Universe Emporer called. He says hi. Did you know he rules 6.67*10^23 Galaxies?

I hear you rule one galaxy but that's OK too.

How are the grandsons? Little Horus must be getting pretty tall by now and is Fulgrim still getting up his antics? I told you to put him on ritalin.

Anyway I'll be mailing your birth check soon. I hope it doesn't get lost in the mail.

Love

The Space Emporer's Mother

 
   
Made in gb
Highlord with a Blackstone Fortress






Adrift within the vortex of my imagination.

 Kid_Kyoto wrote:


Spacey, it's me, your Mother.

You know today is Mother's Day but I think your gift might have gotten lost in the mail because I didn't get it.

Also I think your phone might be broken because I didn't get your call.

Your brother The Universe Emporer called. He says hi. Did you know he rules 6.67*10^23 Galaxies?

I hear you rule one galaxy but that's OK too.

How are the grandsons? Little Horus must be getting pretty tall by now and is Fulgrim still getting up his antics? I told you to put him on ritalin.

Anyway I'll be mailing your birth check soon. I hope it doesn't get lost in the mail.

Love

The Space Emporer's Mother


Hi mummy,

It has been such a long time since I got a message from. I am afraid this parcel got lost in the warp and only just reached me. I am fine, don't worry, the kids are fine, I guess.
Good call on the blood red mittens you knitted for Angron, you always know the best presents I am sure he would have loved them but is a tad too big for them now.

By the way can you tell dad to stop dislodging tyranids from his galaxies, they drift through space for ten thousand years then turn up here. Its getting quite as bother.

Miss you and love you lots.

Empy
XXXX



Dear Spase Emporer of Spase,

I am Billy an orphaned bilge technician sold for indentured service in the bowels of a Lunar cruiser somewhere in the Eastern fringe. One day while cleaning out the rats I heard a voice calling himself grandpa! I didn't know I had a grandpa, but he told me that he loved me and would look after me.
He said I worked very hard cleaning the bilges and he was very proud, but he would be more proud if I pushed the muck and ratties up to the decks rather than out the airlock. He told me that I would get to know him better by drawing three circles on my chest and saying lots of long words.
Now I am really happy, grandpa says that with my new Mark I cannot be possessed by any other power. Isn't this good news, because the warp gods cant touch me can I have a promotion? I would like to be an Adeptus Astartus and grow big and fat and slaughter all the daemons of Corn, and Zench, Slitheness or whatever his name is. All in the name of the Spase Emperor and grandpa of course.

Billy

n'oublie jamais - It appears I now have to highlight this again.

It is by tea alone I set my mind in motion. By the juice of the brew my thoughts aquire speed, my mind becomes strained, the strain becomes a warning. It is by tea alone I set my mind in motion. 
   
Made in ph
Unhealthy Competition With Other Legions




Isstvan III



Billy,

What did grandpa tell you about talking to strangers? Oh, look at you, I'm so proud of your new Mark, and you've done such a good job filthying up your ship!
I'm so proud, I'm going to give you a special gift you can share with your friends! Why don't you go and find one of your special friends who have voices in their heads too?
That way, I can tell him those secret words I told you, and you can have a giant party with your Uncle T. and friends!
Now go, run along now, and share your new gift with everybody! Remember, this is our little secret.

With much love, Grandpa N.






Dear Grandpa Empy,

Are we adopted?

None of our cousins know who our real daddy is. And they say mean things about us, like bad Uncle Magnus is our real daddy.
They say that our daddy went out to the store and never came back. Or that Uncle Russ made him play hide-and-seek forever.
Please tell us Grandpa Empy!

Love, Gabe and the Blood Ravens











13th Black Crusade Force 5,000+ pts Horus Heresy 1,500 pts WIP

DA:90-SGM+B+I+Pw40k09/re#--D+++++A++/wWD356R--T(S)DM+

"When the traitor's hand strikes, it strikes with the strength of a Legion."

"It is human nature to seek culpability in a time of tragedy. It is a sign of strength to cry out against fate, rather than to bow one's head and succumb."  
   
Made in gb
The Last Chancer Who Survived




United Kingdom

 TheDiscoSpider wrote:



Dear Grandpa Empy,

Are we adopted?

None of our cousins know who our real daddy is. And they say mean things about us, like bad Uncle Magnus is our real daddy.
They say that our daddy went out to the store and never came back. Or that Uncle Russ made him play hide-and-seek forever.
Please tell us Grandpa Empy!

Love, Gabe and the Blood Ravens




Dear little Gabe,

In short yes, you're adopted. You're the sons of heretics, and should have been purged. However, you didn't seem corrupted, so I edited your Chapter's history records to make sure nobody could link you to your real dad. He was an abomination.

Sleep well,

From the Spess Emprah.


___________________________________

Dear Mr Spess Emprah:

Why is my planet's population starving to death?

From Governor Balls.
   
Made in nl
Wight Lord with the Sword of Kings






North of your position

Dear Governor Balls.

They are not starving, and by dare saying so, you have been deemed a traitor. You will be purged.

Have a nice day.

The Emperor
_________________
Dear Space Emperor,

I've heard a lot about your Ultramarines, and I absolutely love them. I have even written about them! But I have to ask: can I become one?

Yours,
Matthew Ward.

   
Made in gb
The Last Chancer Who Survived




United Kingdom

 thenoobbomb wrote:

Dear Space Emperor,

I've heard a lot about your Ultramarines, and I absolutely love them. I have even written about them! But I have to ask: can I become one?

Yours,
Matthew Ward.


Dear Matteus Wardius,

Unfortunately, your terrible writing has been so bad in regards to my forces that they actually gave me space cancer (which by the way, is almost impossible to catch normally, so thanks).
In short, you are a heretic who must be purged. I have sent a fleet under inquisitorial jurisdiction to call exterminatus upon you.

Yours Sincerely,

Your true Spiritual Liege. Teh Spess Emprah.


________________________________

Dear Empy,

Can I has a cookie?

From a starving young orphan on Governor Balls' planet.
   
Made in nl
Wight Lord with the Sword of Kings






North of your position

Dear orphan,
Unfortunately your governor has made a mistake and you will be purged. Also, why have you not been inducted into a stormtrooper regiment?

The God-Emperor of Mankind.

------

Dear Space Emperor,

I am your loyal guardian, as you know. However, the current equipment isn't that good.
So, can we get new security cameras?
Sincerely,
Adeptus Custodes Biggus Dickus.

   
Made in gb
The Last Chancer Who Survived




United Kingdom

 thenoobbomb wrote:

Dear Space Emperor,

I am your loyal guardian, as you know. However, the current equipment isn't that good.
So, can we get new security cameras?
Sincerely,
Adeptus Custodes Biggus Dickus.


Dear Biggus Dickus,

I had requisitioned new cameras at 978.253.M40. I believe that was about a week ago, they should have arrived by now.

Yours Thankfully, The Emperor.

______________________

TO THE EMPEROR!!!

I AM KHORNE. I WISH TO THANK YOU FOR YOUR GREAT OFFERINGS OF BILLIONS OF WARRIORS TO ME, AND FOR CAUSING SO MUCH BLOODSHED THAT EVEN MY SKULL THRONE BUILDERS ARE HAVING TROUBLE KEEPING UP.

FROM KHORNE!!!
   
Made in in
[MOD]
Otiose in a Niche






Hyderabad, India

 Selym wrote:


TO THE EMPEROR!!!

I AM KHORNE. I WISH TO THANK YOU FOR YOUR GREAT OFFERINGS OF BILLIONS OF WARRIORS TO ME, AND FOR CAUSING SO MUCH BLOODSHED THAT EVEN MY SKULL THRONE BUILDERS ARE HAVING TROUBLE KEEPING UP.

FROM KHORNE!!!


What's that? Speak up sonny, I ain't as young I used to be!

Just kidding, a little bit of humor helps the millennia of unending agony go by just a bit quicker y'know.

Now anyway, I'm not quite sure I get the point of your message, especially since this is ask the Space Emporer, not tell the Space Emporer, but I think you're under some misapprehension that my warriors are dying in your name, they're not. They're dying in my name. So I'm glad we cleared that up.

Because honestly, if you Chaos gods gained power from just war, or pleasure or decay or change regardless of why, then well, you'd be invicible and everything I did would be in vein and...

Oh crud.

OK moving on!

Emperor Out!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear the Space Emporer,

I am Hugonaut of Heff, publisher and editor in chief of Playful Juve Magazine, a leading men's entertainment periodical.

Recently I planned to do a special issues, Girls of the Adeptus Sororitas, it was going to be a very tasteful salute to the courage, faith and athleticism of those women in armor who do so much to protect us and keep up our spirits. It would also expose their rarely seen feminine side and give us a glimpse of what lies beneath their armored carapaces.

The Young Sororitas themselves were very, very eager, confirming with me several times that there would be male photographers present.

However the Canoness forbade her sisters from participating citing some obscure rule or regulation.

I was wondering if you could please put in a good word for me? I knew my trillions of loyal readers are eagerly awaiting these photos.

Yours
Hugonaut of Heff

PS I have put you down for a complimentary subscription. This month's issue, 'The Girls of Catachan' should be on its way now.

 
   
 
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