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*One year long absence later*

So, I'm back.

Actually I've started flitting around FIMficiton. Working on a story. It crosses a sc-ifi universe of my own design into MLP, titling it Dies Irae (no, not the Titan, the Latin translation, 'Day of Wrath')

I'm going through it's fifth revision for the first few chapters to change main characters and such, make sure everything is in continuity, If possible a proofreader would be nice, but just wondering if you lot want to hear me pitch a kind of teaser or plot idea here before putting it up on FIMfiction.

Hit us Ineptus.

No! Don't hit me, I might get an erection....


Anyway, I repeat my question.

I'll try a proofread if you want. I'm a decent Editor.

But yeah, just watched the two parts (having DVR now is BOSS) and whoo. Lot of commercials.

I find it funny how Gak seems to have about a 5 year cycle.

Awesome magic, and some pretty epic scenes.

 bloodaxegit wrote:

Spoiler:

That was really awesome. King Sombra could have had more screen time, but hey, still a brilliant villain. And so much Dark Magic! Heck, his magic even made Spike cry! Now that's evil.

Fluttershy jousting was utterly adorable.

And another thing. Gak anyone?

^^^^ this :'3 I loved it but it ended far too quickly :( there was so much room for another episode but of well :/

also, anypony notice how grimdark MLP's getting? XD

 The glass ninja wrote:
No! Don't hit me, I might get an erection....


Anyway, I repeat my question.

What!?
Has noone PM'd you a link yet?
General advice: Check out Equestria Daily for links.
Why haven't anyone PM'd you links yet?
.... I guess all thought someone else did it.
.... Or is there some rules i haven't undestood yet?
(Feels confused and unsure, and has therefor not yet PM'd any links.)

I'd appreciate you sending me a link.

 The glass ninja wrote:
I'd appreciate you sending me a link.

Links sent.
The two episodes has seperate links.

Just watched the new one.
It could have used some polishing up. They tried to build tension, but that really didn't work. Shining Armour should have been in some real deep trouble. Some really good jokes were in there (jousting, ftw. Poor Fluttershy). But Royal Wedding is an impossible act to follow.

I'm way too lazy to send links to anyone. Just go to Equestria Daily and they'll have the links posted top of the first page. It really is the best resource for it to my knowledge.

 CuddlySquig wrote:
Just watched the new one.
It could have used some polishing up. They tried to build tension, but that really didn't work. Shining Armour should have been in some real deep trouble. Some really good jokes were in there (jousting, ftw. Poor Fluttershy). But Royal Wedding is an impossible act to follow.

I thought the tension worked well ...
Any lack in tension i would rather assume is because all the spoilers that has been dropped during the wait ...

Now, i'm looking forward to what i think it was Tara once referred to "The freak-out of Freak-Outs" .....

The tension was too broken up. It didn't work well that, as time is running out, everyone but Twilight and Spike were at the fair. But now I'm asking myself a thousand questions about King Som...however you spell it and where he came from and what he did and stuff.

I wish I could stream videos.

Or even watch youtube.

Speaking of which, my conundrum: I have no cable here, my country has the 2nd slowest internet speed in the world which makes streaming impossible and youtube a nightmare.

'You want me to help protect an entire empire?'

Yeah, an 'empire' that's the size of a town. Unless you count unrecognised little countries/principalities like Sealand, the closest you'll get to a real empire being that size would be empires in their final days as they're being taken over by enemies occupying them: like the Byzantine Empire at the Fall of Constantinople.

Also, there was heavy implication that Princess Cadence had some kind of connection to the empire, which was never expanded upon.

All in all, a nice opening story (and its purpose was to set up the arc of Twilight advancing her studies), but could have been a little better.

I was a little surprised they found an actual crystal heart. I was kind of expecting it to turn out to be Cadence.

 liquidjoshi wrote:
Hit us Ineptus.

You asked for it. These won't really make sense because they're out of context and usually are grabbed form the middle of a chapter but they're the best examples of exerpts I could find.

here's an excerpt from the sci fi side.

(notes, the vurkuristar’s name and traits was inspired by Objectivefault’s Varvistar in the vc game in the ‘house, it was an awesome name for a race.)

“Van, launch a superluminal probe, see if there’s even a few asteroids out there.” Said the commander to the bipedal mantid at the controls and the first mate of the thirty-being crew. The vernid routed the command through to astrographer Tenson, on the probe deck, and moments later they heard the ship shudder as the faster-than-light piece of metal shot from their hull, the technology was baffling. The probe had been designed by the Technocracy, and all the races on board the Starry Ice were all citizens of the Galactic Union.

The probe was now data, its internal cores sending messages as it burned itself away within moments. Nothing could survive more than a few hours traveling at lightspeed, and even then it would be impossible to drop out of lightspeed. Hence why the interstellar travel of the ships of the Union was just a hair’s breadth under lightspeed. It took decades or even centuries to get anywhere but it was better than becoming data and vanishing.

“Sir! Something’s coming through! A planet!” The warbled response from the astrographer was shot with static.
The commander hardly believed his ears. “Feed it through, feed it through!” he yelled. This was good fortune, he had believed that they were destined to die out here in the void, while this fate might be pleasing to the Technocracy’s space-worshipping zealots, he was rather more rational.
The ship shuddered slightly as bits of information spanned distances immeasurable and collided with the transiver node.
They comms officer began speaking. He was a middle aged human with brown hair.

“The data we have shows…planet…terrestrial! Inhabitable!...Holy gak.”

The last was almost drowned out by the adulations of half a dozen xenoforms, clicks grunts whoops and hoots as they realized that their fate had been changed, that they were saved a lonely death in the cold of space.

“This is a military vessel, you will observe the chain of command and refrain from speaking out of turn!” demanded the commander. “What was that last?” he asked of the comms officer.

“The sun…it appears to be orbiting this world…”

“Impossible,” grated a voice like wood and rock scraping a hollow tree stump its owner, the large Bo’sun called Ugar was a muscular Vurkuristar and was glaring at the comms officer with all four eyes, though to be fair all any Vurkuristar ever did was glare. They were the most violent race in the Union.

“Excuse me?” Asked the comms officer. “I should know what this says. And it clearly says that this system is geocentric.”

“But-”began a few crewers, the commander raised a hand. “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, the news that an inhabitable planet is within reach on impulse drive is....well, it’s a one in a billion chance. And we should capitalize on it. You lot, come with me to wake the cargo, Octavius, Ugar, you have the bridge.”

The comms officer and bo’sun nodded as the others cleared out of the circular room and boarded the tramway to the cryo-bays. When all was silent and the humming of machinery was the only thing that c could be heard, Ugar turned to Octavius. “You can’t be right.” He grated through his arachnoid pedipalps. “It goes against all that we know, it’s the reason we can’t travel faster than light. Do not tell me that the great Union has been spending a thousand years doing something wrong.”

Octavius rolled his eyes at the words “‘great’ union” ‘Say what you like. It’s still there, a sun orbiting a world…could be a faulty reading though.”
The Vurkuristar shifted his massive, dark bulk slightly on his station-throne. “I hope so…”
Octavius looked at his xeno colleague. “Why?”
“You’ll find out soon enough.” He growled cryptically.


And one from the pony side.


“Oh, hey Twilight!” came a slightly raspy voice, accompanied by the flapping of wings. Twilight Sparkle looked up from her purchased food to be greeted by a friend of hers, the athletic pegesus Rainbow Dash. “What’cha reading?”
“Oh, nothing.” Said twilight, with forced joviality. No need to bother her friends with doomsday prophecies. “just a letter from the princess.” She lit it with magical fire and let the ashes drift away in the breeze. “So what brings you here, Rainbow?”
The Pegasus hovered in the air and looked both ways conspiratorially. “Well-eeelll…Me and fluttershy went to cloudsdale last night to check out that flight museum and stayed at that hotel, y’know, ‘cause it was too late to head back to ponyville. Aaaanyways, when we woke up, fluttershy saw that there was a flock of vultures up on this mountain Reeeeeaaaly high.” Rainbow dash went on about their trip to the vulture flock that was up ‘reeeeeeally high’ and how Fluttershy did something helpful for them but then said something that made Twilight a little nervous.

“So while fluttershy was talking with them, I decided to see how high I could go. Last time I came down when I couldn’t breathe but I figured I could still go higher than that if I went really quickly and Really fast! So anyway I was going up to that space where the giant clouds are below you and the air’s all frosty and it’s hard to breath, right, so I looked up, and I saw this weird speck in the sky, and it was glowing! Cool huh? It was like a star in the daytime! And then I noticed it was getting bigger pretty fast, like, a LOT bigger all of a sudden! Like it just flew towards us! in fact, if you squint you can kind of see it from here.”
“What?!?” gasped Twilight. “Where?!”
Rainbow, still flapping raised a hoof. “I’m not done yet. I noticed something else about this thing, it wasn’t a star at all! It’s a big solid thing!”

 AduroT wrote:
I was a little surprised they found an actual crystal heart. I was kind of expecting it to turn out to be Cadence.

I think the implication is that the two are connected. Notice Cadence's cutie mark, a crystal heart itself. Certainly sounds like this particular kingdom might be her hereditary throne from way back, even one of the crystal ponies said something to the effect of "It's the crystal princess!" which if it's true would certainly make Cadence make a lot more sense I think.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
And if anyone's looking for ponyfics to read I'd like to submit my own Stormriders

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/1385/Stormriders%3A-Luna%27s-Own

That's pretty cool Ineptus. I'd post critique, but currently my mind's fried. I'll get back to you.

 liquidjoshi wrote:
That's pretty cool Ineptus. I'd post critique, but currently my mind's fried. I'll get back to you.

I await eagerly, for now I'll go and edit the rest of the story and then go to sleep.

By the way, King Sombra is another member of the 'Got my ass kicked by the Princesses over a thousand years ago' club.

 KalashnikovMarine wrote:

 AduroT wrote:
I was a little surprised they found an actual crystal heart. I was kind of expecting it to turn out to be Cadence.

I think the implication is that the two are connected. Notice Cadence's cutie mark, a crystal heart itself. Certainly sounds like this particular kingdom might be her hereditary throne from way back, even one of the crystal ponies said something to the effect of "It's the crystal princess!" which if it's true would certainly make Cadence make a lot more sense I think.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
And if anyone's looking for ponyfics to read I'd like to submit my own Stormriders

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/1385/Stormriders%3A-Luna%27s-Own

I'll see about reading it, I've been sifting through FIMfiction lately so now;s a decent time.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 Sturmtruppen wrote:
By the way, King Sombra is another member of the 'Got my ass kicked by the Princesses over a thousand years ago' club.

Notice it always happened a thousand years ago...when any living pony has no record of it.

Conspiracy!



(now where is that universal avatar of mine?...)

 AduroT wrote:
I was a little surprised they found an actual crystal heart. I was kind of expecting it to turn out to be Cadence.

This x 1000.

I was pleasantly surprised.

 KalashnikovMarine wrote:

 AduroT wrote:
I was a little surprised they found an actual crystal heart. I was kind of expecting it to turn out to be Cadence.

I think the implication is that the two are connected. Notice Cadence's cutie mark, a crystal heart itself. Certainly sounds like this particular kingdom might be her hereditary throne from way back, even one of the crystal ponies said something to the effect of "It's the crystal princess!" which if it's true would certainly make Cadence make a lot more sense I think.

Her cutie mark was exactly part of it. They need their "crystal heart" to protect them from evil with it's love and kindness. Cadence was using her love magic to protect them, but she was running out of power. Oh wait, the crystal ponies charge up their crystal heart with their love and kindness! I was fulling expecting a quasi repeat of the royal wedding's ending.

What Celly and Luna are ACTUALLY preparing Twi for.

 ineptus astartes wrote:

I await eagerly, for now I'll go and edit the rest of the story and then go to sleep.

Hush now, quiet now, it's time to lay your sleepy head.
Hush now, quiet now, it's time to go to bed.

 KalashnikovMarine wrote:


What Celly and Luna are ACTUALLY preparing Twi for.

Ego is totally in my very top handful of favorite artists.

What happened to Twilight's mouth?

 CuddlySquig wrote:
What happened to Twilight's mouth?

Cuddled away by friendship and love, obviously.

I'm not a brony, but I have a friend who is one and he also plays 40k so I respect you guys. But may I ask why so many of you like 40k and mlp? Like, whats the connection between the two?

 Color Sgt. Kell wrote:
I'm not a brony, but I have a friend who is one and he also plays 40k so I respect you guys. But may I ask why so many of you like 40k and mlp? Like, whats the connection between the two?

There isn't one. Just like there isn't a connection between jogging and decontructional Biblical studies, even though I have an interest in both.

 thenoobbomb wrote:

 CuddlySquig wrote:
What happened to Twilight's mouth?

Cuddled away by friendship and love, obviously.

*cuddles*