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Granted. You wear a bright pink kilt everywhere you go.

I wish my cat wasn't sick.

Granted. Your cat is now in prime health. Too bad you've caught whatever it had. Congrats on being the first human to ever catch that particular cat disease. Enjoy your life in quarantine. Hopefully it doesn't kill us all.

I wish I didn't spontaniously burst into dick-mode whenever I get frustrated.

 tekno000 wrote:
Granted. Your cat is now in prime health. Too bad you've caught whatever it had. Congrats on being the first human to ever catch that particular cat disease. Enjoy your life in quarantine. Hopefully it doesn't kill us all.

I wish I didn't spontaniously burst into dick-mode whenever I get frustrated.

Granted. You're just always in Dick Mode.

I wish I expected the Spanish Inquisition.

Granted. You expect the unexpected. But the inquisition arrives anyway, no one expected that.

I wish for extra chicken wings.

 snurl wrote:
Granted. You expect the unexpected. But the inquisition arrives anyway, no one expected that.

I wish for extra chicken wings.

Granted, but those particular chickens have been fed with experimental GM foods that cause your dick to shrink.

I wish I didn't have to go to the dentist later on.

Granted. There's one raw chicken wing at the bottom of your bucket of cooked wings. Too bad you didn't find it before you ate all the rest. Between the salmonella and the cat diseases, you're determined to be Patient Zero, aren't you?

I wish I had a nearby friend who played 40k so I could invite them over to play.

Dangit...

Granted, but they only bring RIptide's and IK's.

I wish I had more money.

Granted. Here's a check for 21,358.39 Vietnamese Dong.

I wish Mtn Dew made me lose weight.

Granted. But every bottle costs 21,358.39 Vietnamese Dong.

I wish somebody from France posted on here.

(That's fine, since 21,358.39 Vietnamese Dong = $1 USD)

Granted. But they're "that guy."

I wish everyone would leave my office so I can slack off properly for the rest of the night instead of trying to pass off my corrupt-a-wish typing as work.

Granted. No one has been in your building for days. Then a demolition crew shows up.

I wish German camo-patterns were easier to paint.

Granted. When North korea invades, all German soldiers will be easy to see, thus leading to us being conquered - no, liberated by THE GREAT LEADER OF NORTH KOREA, KIM JONG UN WHO EATS THE SUN

I wish I had more paints.

Granted. You have all the paints but no brushes.

I wish I never needed sleep and never felt tired.

Granted, but you don't find anything to do at night. Also, you die.

I wish I had more paints and brushes.

Granted. You have ALL of the paints and ALL of the brushes. Good luck finding anything to paint under that mountain.

I wish for a job that I love doing.

Granted. You get 2 bucks a day.

I wish for better games to play.

Airwave wrote:

 snurl wrote:
Granted. You expect the unexpected. But the inquisition arrives anyway, no one expected that.

I wish for extra chicken wings.

Granted, but those particular chickens have been fed with experimental GM foods that cause your dick to shrink.

I wish I didn't have to go to the dentist later on.

Leave no wish uncorrupted!!!!
Granted, you have to go sooner and you are out of floss.

Matthew wrote:Granted. You get 2 bucks a day.

I wish for better games to play.

Now for more Swedish shenanigans..... Granted. You receive a deck of pinochle cards. (Pea-knuckle for those who don't know)

I wish Matthew the Llama was real!

Granted. His carcasse is stuffed and mounted in your office.

I wish for some painting time.

Granted. His carcasse is stuffed and mounted in your office.

I wish for some painting time.

Granted. You are in jail again with all the painting time you want. You keep wishing for that and you'll regret your life's decisions!

I wish Snurl would not double post.

Granted. His computer glitches and spams thousands of the same post in miliseconds, shutting down the entire website and sending the police to his doorstep to investigate a DDoS attack.

I wish for a giant plate of Mexican food.

Granted. A big plate of tekno000 tortillas. Extra cheesy they say.

I wish for spring.

Granted. You receive a box-spring mattress, without a cover. Essentially a whole bunch of springs.

I wish my brother's car was fixed so he could drive himself to work.

Granted, but he never gives you rides.

I wish Russia could stop messing with Sweden, please

Granted. No more messing around. Russia invades in full force.

I wish for more Mtn Dew.

Granted but it's completely mixed with Doritos. Yum.......or not....TBD


I wish my nose would stop running

Granted, but now you get nosebleeds whenever you yawn. Muhahaha!

I wish I had a job.

Granted. You have a job cleaning out nudie booths after each guy jerks off. Just for you it is a minimum job wage. After taxes, you have just enough money to buy generic brand food for the week.

I wish I lived closer to my other FLGS so I did not have to drive an hour every week to play Warhammer.

Granted, but the FLGS goes bankrupt.

I wish cashew nuts were cheaper.