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Made in au
Longtime Dakkanaut




Squatting with the squigs

http://www.yourjewishnews.com/Pages/24114.aspx

This has to be the most ridiculous story i have ever read.

A man claims he was nearly killed after his girlfriend choked him with her over sized chest, according to court proceedings.
A high-flying lawyer fled in terror naked after his girlfriend used her 38DDs in an attempt to kill him, a German court has heard.

Tim Schmidt, 30, said his girlfriend, Franziska Hansen, 33, mounted her assault while they were having sex because she was jealous of his successful career.

She denies the charge of attempted murder with a deadly weapon after the incident in the city of Unna in May. According to her, it was a sex game gone wrong and Schmidt panicked.
He told the court he was admiring her large chest closely when she suddenly stuck his head between her chest and squeezed hard. Schmidt was smothered and began to panic as he struggled to breathe, the court heard.


Schmidt told the court: "I was sitting there and I was kissing her chest when suddenly she grabbed my head in pushed it between her chest and held my head with all her might. I could not breathe, I must have turned blue. I could not tear myself free and thought I was going to die."
He managed to pull free from the clutches of his girlfriend and run naked into the street. A neighbor allowed him to call the police from his home.
Hansen later admitted the plot during a phone conversation, he said. She said: "Treasure. I wanted your death to be as pleasant as possible."

My new blog: http://kardoorkapers.blogspot.com.au/

Manchu - "But so what? The Bible also says the flood destroyed the world. You only need an allegorical boat to tackle an allegorical flood."

Shespits "Anything i see with YOLO has half naked eleventeen year olds Girls. And of course booze and drugs and more half naked elventeen yearolds Girls. O how i wish to YOLO again!"

Rubiksnoob "Next you'll say driving a stick with a Scandinavian supermodel on your lap while ripping a bong impairs your driving. And you know what, I'M NOT GOING TO STOP, YOU FILTHY COMMUNIST" 
   
Made in us
The Conquerer






Waiting for my shill money from Spiral Arm Studios



Ummmm, ok. Not sure what to say about this.

This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2013/01/21 12:47:30


Self-proclaimed evil Cat-person. Dues Ex Felines

Cato Sicarius, after force feeding Captain Ventris a copy of the Codex Astartes for having the audacity to play Deathwatch, chokes to death on his own D-baggery after finding Calgar assembling his new Eldar army.

MURICA!!! IN SPESS!!! 
   
Made in au
Longtime Dakkanaut




Squatting with the squigs

I had pretty much the same reaction as you to the story, so I had to share it.

I'm thinking it has to be a "joke story". I found it amusing though.

My new blog: http://kardoorkapers.blogspot.com.au/

Manchu - "But so what? The Bible also says the flood destroyed the world. You only need an allegorical boat to tackle an allegorical flood."

Shespits "Anything i see with YOLO has half naked eleventeen year olds Girls. And of course booze and drugs and more half naked elventeen yearolds Girls. O how i wish to YOLO again!"

Rubiksnoob "Next you'll say driving a stick with a Scandinavian supermodel on your lap while ripping a bong impairs your driving. And you know what, I'M NOT GOING TO STOP, YOU FILTHY COMMUNIST" 
   
Made in us
Armored Iron Breaker






Earth

LMAO I heard about this on the Bob and Tom show (my source for news on my way to work). This guy needs to grow a pair. I mean IF she really was trying to kill him there are far worse ways to die. Getting smothered by some bigguns isn't a bad way to go.

 
   
Made in au
Longtime Dakkanaut




Squatting with the squigs

Agreed, being smothered by buttcheeks would be far worse.

My new blog: http://kardoorkapers.blogspot.com.au/

Manchu - "But so what? The Bible also says the flood destroyed the world. You only need an allegorical boat to tackle an allegorical flood."

Shespits "Anything i see with YOLO has half naked eleventeen year olds Girls. And of course booze and drugs and more half naked elventeen yearolds Girls. O how i wish to YOLO again!"

Rubiksnoob "Next you'll say driving a stick with a Scandinavian supermodel on your lap while ripping a bong impairs your driving. And you know what, I'M NOT GOING TO STOP, YOU FILTHY COMMUNIST" 
   
Made in us
The Conquerer






Waiting for my shill money from Spiral Arm Studios

Bullockist wrote:
Agreed, being smothered by buttcheeks would be far worse.


Well, in this case it may have been difficult to tell

Self-proclaimed evil Cat-person. Dues Ex Felines

Cato Sicarius, after force feeding Captain Ventris a copy of the Codex Astartes for having the audacity to play Deathwatch, chokes to death on his own D-baggery after finding Calgar assembling his new Eldar army.

MURICA!!! IN SPESS!!! 
   
Made in au
Longtime Dakkanaut




Squatting with the squigs

LOL

You made me go back and look at the original article Grey Templar, I now thing being smothered by her face would have been worse.

My new blog: http://kardoorkapers.blogspot.com.au/

Manchu - "But so what? The Bible also says the flood destroyed the world. You only need an allegorical boat to tackle an allegorical flood."

Shespits "Anything i see with YOLO has half naked eleventeen year olds Girls. And of course booze and drugs and more half naked elventeen yearolds Girls. O how i wish to YOLO again!"

Rubiksnoob "Next you'll say driving a stick with a Scandinavian supermodel on your lap while ripping a bong impairs your driving. And you know what, I'M NOT GOING TO STOP, YOU FILTHY COMMUNIST" 
   
Made in au
Fixture of Dakka





Melbourne

On a list of awesome ways to die this is has gotta be high up there.

Its an interesting way to commit a murder if nothing else. Its also pretty convincing from an alibi stand point as well.

"I swear officer, i thought he enjoying himself... I didn't know he was dead. Honest!"

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Made in ca
Stubborn Dark Angels Veteran Sergeant




Ontario

For the sake of Devil's advocacy, is this not an example of misandry? I mean if a woman called attempted murder because a man was choking her to death on his penis I think there would have been something more of an outcry, especially if she stated she made vigorous attempts to end the situation and was held in place by her partner.

Yeah know, just advocacy.

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Made in us
Hallowed Canoness





The Void

Death by Snu Snu!

Have we properly blamed the victim yet?

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2013/01/21 07:39:41


I beg of you sarge let me lead the charge when the battle lines are drawn
Lemme at least leave a good hoof beat they'll remember loud and long


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Made in au
Fixture of Dakka





Melbourne

HE'S A MAN! HE IS GUILTY BY DEFULT!

Now let us lynch this poor bastard just for the hell of it.

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Made in au
The Dread Evil Lord Varlak





Only in Germany...

Or Japan, I guess.

“We may observe that the government in a civilized country is much more expensive than in a barbarous one; and when we say that one government is more expensive than another, it is the same as if we said that that one country is farther advanced in improvement than another. To say that the government is expensive and the people not oppressed is to say that the people are rich.”

Adam Smith, who must have been some kind of leftie or something. 
   
Made in gb
Krazed Killa Kan






Newport, S Wales

C'mon guys, we've all seen Goldeneye, same principle, different weapon...

Although, in terms of ways to go, what a way to go...

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daveNYC wrote:The Craftworld guys, who are such stick-in-the-muds that they manage to make the Ultramarines look like an Ibiza nightclub that spiked its Red Bull with LSD.
 
   
Made in au
Longtime Dakkanaut




Squatting with the squigs

 KalashnikovMarine wrote:
Death by Snu Snu!

Have we properly blamed the victim yet?


Post #4 i believe, Dakka never fails.

Sebster in germany they do it worse! Back in about 1999 there was a news story about a german guy who killed his partner. He was "pleasuring " his partner using five digits and a wrist in a place you wouldn't "normally" (normally? lol) expect that to happen, hearing her cries of pain and taking them for pleasure he kept going and killed her with some kind of weird infection thingy. Man that was hard to tell PG rated.

My new blog: http://kardoorkapers.blogspot.com.au/

Manchu - "But so what? The Bible also says the flood destroyed the world. You only need an allegorical boat to tackle an allegorical flood."

Shespits "Anything i see with YOLO has half naked eleventeen year olds Girls. And of course booze and drugs and more half naked elventeen yearolds Girls. O how i wish to YOLO again!"

Rubiksnoob "Next you'll say driving a stick with a Scandinavian supermodel on your lap while ripping a bong impairs your driving. And you know what, I'M NOT GOING TO STOP, YOU FILTHY COMMUNIST" 
   
Made in gb
Contagious Dreadnought of Nurgle





 Ratbarf wrote:
For the sake of Devil's advocacy, is this not an example of misandry? I mean if a woman called attempted murder because a man was choking her to death on his penis I think there would have been something more of an outcry, especially if she stated she made vigorous attempts to end the situation and was held in place by her partner.

Yeah know, just advocacy.


Your quite right, and some of the comments here and on that site are just horrid. I mean, someone is saying she should be let off because of "all the things men do". Socioty dose need to take misandry and Female sexisum a lot more seriously.

On the other hand, do you think the jury will want to examine the murder weapon?

Also, I doubt very much it was a serious murder attempt. She would have had to have held him there for around 8 minutes before doing any damage, and aroung 12 before death, with him punching and kicking untill he passed out.

 insaniak wrote:
Sometimes, Exterminatus is the only option.
And sometimes, it's just a case of too much scotch combined with too many buttons...
 
   
Made in us
Fixture of Dakka






Treasure. I wanted your death to be as pleasant as possible.

That's what he gets for dating female Smeagol

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Huge Hierodule





The centre of a massive brood chamber, heaving and pulsating.

 sebster wrote:
Only in Germany...

Or Japan, I guess.


Japan being Japan, I highly doubt that the victim would press charges. Understandably.

But damn...This has got to be the silliest story ever.

Squigsquasher, resident ban magnet, White Knight, and general fethwit.
 buddha wrote:
I've decided that these GW is dead/dying threads that pop up every-week must be followers and cultists of nurgle perpetuating the need for decay. I therefore declare that that such threads are heresy and subject to exterminatus. So says the Inquisition!
 
   
Made in us
Old Sourpuss






Lakewood, Ohio

"Remember, the safe word is banana."



This story is all sorts of fethed up, but I love how people are saying she should get off on the charges.

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Made in se
Ferocious Black Templar Castellan






Sweden

 Ratbarf wrote:
For the sake of Devil's advocacy, is this not an example of misandry? I mean if a woman called attempted murder because a man was choking her to death on his penis I think there would have been something more of an outcry, especially if she stated she made vigorous attempts to end the situation and was held in place by her partner.

Yeah know, just advocacy.


While I fully agree with your argument, a woman in the position you describe could bite and thus solve the problem. It'd also have the additional effect of immobilising the perpetrator due to extreme agony.

For thirteen years I had a dog with fur the darkest black. For thirteen years he was my friend, oh how I want him back. 
   
Made in ca
Stubborn Dark Angels Veteran Sergeant




Ontario

To make it fair give her a ring gag, and it still doesn't negate the fact that the responses this is getting are somewhat off base with what would be happening had the roles been reversed.

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Made in us
Decrepit Dakkanaut






New Orleans, LA

 Alfndrate wrote:
"Remember, the safe word is banana."


I think the safe word in this case was "Mff! Mhiff!"

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Made in us
The Conquerer






Waiting for my shill money from Spiral Arm Studios

Steve steveson wrote:


On the other hand, do you think the jury will want to examine the murder weapon?


I wouldn't. Her picture is scary.

Self-proclaimed evil Cat-person. Dues Ex Felines

Cato Sicarius, after force feeding Captain Ventris a copy of the Codex Astartes for having the audacity to play Deathwatch, chokes to death on his own D-baggery after finding Calgar assembling his new Eldar army.

MURICA!!! IN SPESS!!! 
   
Made in gb
Lord Commander in a Plush Chair





Beijing

 Grey Templar wrote:
Steve steveson wrote:


On the other hand, do you think the jury will want to examine the murder weapon?


I wouldn't. Her picture is scary.


The picture attached to the article isn't the woman being charged and she's not that scary. And those aren't 38DDs either.
   
Made in us
The Conquerer






Waiting for my shill money from Spiral Arm Studios

Yes it is. The picture's label says Franziska Hansen. And the women in question is Franziska Hansen

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2013/01/21 18:03:37


Self-proclaimed evil Cat-person. Dues Ex Felines

Cato Sicarius, after force feeding Captain Ventris a copy of the Codex Astartes for having the audacity to play Deathwatch, chokes to death on his own D-baggery after finding Calgar assembling his new Eldar army.

MURICA!!! IN SPESS!!! 
   
Made in gb
Lord Commander in a Plush Chair





Beijing

 Grey Templar wrote:
Yes it is. The picture's label says Franziska Hansen. And the women in question is Franziska Hansen


No, it isn't.


   
Made in us
Decrepit Dakkanaut






New Orleans, LA

 Grey Templar wrote:
Yes it is. The picture's label says Franziska Hansen. And the women in question is Franziska Hansen


I think that's either a fake add or the author/editor of the article having fun.

Those boobs are way bigger than 38DD. I'm very familiar with 38DD.

DA:70S+G+M+B++I++Pw40k08+D++A++/fWD-R+T(M)DM+
 
   
Made in gb
Lord Commander in a Plush Chair





Beijing

 kronk wrote:
Those boobs are way bigger than 38DD. I'm very familiar with 38DD.


You need to lay off the pies...

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2013/01/21 18:26:43


 
   
Made in us
Decrepit Dakkanaut






New Orleans, LA

... nice one.

DA:70S+G+M+B++I++Pw40k08+D++A++/fWD-R+T(M)DM+
 
   
Made in us
Androgynous Daemon Prince of Slaanesh





Norwalk, Connecticut

Bullockist wrote:
 KalashnikovMarine wrote:
Death by Snu Snu!

Have we properly blamed the victim yet?


Post #4 i believe, Dakka never fails.

Sebster in germany they do it worse! Back in about 1999 there was a news story about a german guy who killed his partner. He was "pleasuring " his partner using five digits and a wrist in a place you wouldn't "normally" (normally? lol) expect that to happen, hearing her cries of pain and taking them for pleasure he kept going and killed her with some kind of weird infection thingy. Man that was hard to tell PG rated.


What a way to tell it that way.
I've known 2 girls who could handle that, and one who was definitely into it (and know of 2 others, but haven't been involved with them during said activities). And are you sure it was an infection? I'd be more worried about tearing and internal bleeding.
Hell, one of those girls also had breasts about the size of this girl-face wasn't much better, but she was a friend, so why not? It was college, and she had a smaller body, but an equal size chest. I know somebody else who has a similar size chest too-haven't hooked up with her, she missed her chance when she had it. Oh well. Big jugs ftw!

Reality is a nice place to visit, but I'd hate to live there.

Manchu wrote:I'm a Catholic. We eat our God.


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