"I'm sorry but I cannot tip because I do not agree with your lifestyle"... uh, about that

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**nkelsch**

cincydooley wrote:
nkelsch wrote:
Gentleman_Jellyfish wrote:
A manager and the restaurant owner insisted they had the original ticket for the $93.55 charge, but would not produce the receipt for NBC 4 New York and could not explain why the family's credit card was charged for more.

That pretty much seals the hoax deal for me.

Edit: And as far as tipping goes, my opinion is I will still tip out of sheer social obligation but I see no reason why restaurants can't just go to a normal pay system with service built in to the prices. Is this really a better system somehow?

Every state has different laws in regards to tip and wages... So a restaurant cannot simply decide to buck the system as it would make their restaurant grossly uncompetitive if everyone else was paying 2.75 whichever as the states minimum wage with tips and some restaurant decided to pay full minimum wage and allow people to keep the tips.

Tips are wages and you can't hold it against the workers. If you don't know the local law where you eat and can't afford to tip, do not go out to eat. Period. If you don't like it, take it up with your elected officials.

When a wait staff says "my name is" don't question it. Don't make fun of it, don't joke about it, don't say " are you foreign" or something. People are sometimes downright rude like that which is why people often wait tables order "fake, socially acceptable names" because they get so annoyed by insults, jokes and other comments. She probably was pissed they basically made fun of her name being Dan, or going by Dan. She probably made a hoax, which was unacceptable, but she also probably gets a fair share of annoying or rude comments of people who balk at her name too. The video of the family who preaches "tolerance" screams to me of a cornered bigot. They seem very guarded with their words and seemed defensive about not at all possibly accepting the comments they had made May have been taken as an insult. Tolerance is not acceptance. The "I don't care what people do" is not "I accept people of all types." The faceless people in the video and the need to comment about the name don't strike me as people doing anything but begrudging tolerance.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but if you made jokes or comments about a servers name due to gender, an apology would have gone a long way. But the hoax is unacceptable and Dan should be fired.

Or. You know, maybe since her name is Dayna they simply misheard and thought it was Dan. It's not like she's overly feminine looking; she could easily be confused for an enfeminiate male.

the news report I watched said she went by "Dan" which is somewhat common for women who wish to use the masculine version of their name. It sounded like they said "your server is Dan" and when a female showed up saying her name was Dan, the couple made a joke about how they assumed it was a mistake because they assumed a woman can't go by Dan. " oh, you are not our waiter, we were told it was Dan and you are a woman." "Sorry, I am Dan."

I dunno... Maybe it is more common in my area so I am never "surprised" or feel the need to comment of people's perceived genders or names. I have seen when people have done it in both terms of gender as well as "you have a foreigner name!" Type comments and it doesn't make people feel good.

But being angry at insensitive customers who may or may not have made a joke at your expense doesn't justify fraud. (Which is what this basically is)

**sebster**

SlaveToDorkness wrote:
It's because someone said something so hateful as "I don't agree with you".

Except the statement was 'I don't agree with your lifestyle'... which is totally fething different.

It's incredible, this inability of people to understand this isn't just an abstract political position, but actual people's lives.

**Seaward**

sebster wrote:
I can't help but think that when a single incident of someone being rude to GLBT person becomes nation news, fraudulent or not, things must have come a long way.

Yeah, I don't think this is an example of a good thing. I think it's indicative of a hysterical, sensation-starved media.

**dogma**

cincydooley wrote:

Or. You know, maybe since her name is Dayna they simply misheard and thought it was Dan. It's not like she's overly feminine looking; she could easily be confused for an enfeminiate male.

I could understand confusing "Dayna" with "Dane", but not with "Dan".

Ouze wrote:

This whole thing sounded pretty fishy from the beginning, I thought.

So...many...lulz.

At any rate, while I see how this report connects the 2 receipts, I would like to see each one in total (absent personal information) before coming to a conclusion. I mean, in the video an unidentified man claims that he can see his name beneath the pixelization applied to the image by whoever produced the image that he was looking at, but I can't identify any characters, let alone a name, beneath the pixelization of the image image provided in the video.

**Bromsy**

Generally speaking, I believe the side that produces the most data supporting their side.

**sebster**

Seaward wrote:
Yeah, I don't think this is an example of a good thing. I think it's indicative of a hysterical, sensation-starved media.

Yep. I think the biggest casualty of the internet age is a sense of scale. There's no physical limit on how many stories can be published, and no news editors to assess what stories are important enough to get printed. Everything that half looks like news gets printed.

And while people could, in theory, perform the same job as the sub-editor and ask 'is this a big enough deal to worry about' it seems not many people do.

**nels1031**

Relapse wrote:
The other thing that really sucks about this if it's true, and the evidence is beginning to make seem that way, is that this will fuel the fire of bigots saying gay people like to play the victim card to move thier agenda.

It will be a long time until an unhinged person tops the Nebraska woman that mutilated herself with anti-gay slurs and claimed "hate crime".

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/3010035/posts

I called fake on this and the "N-word receipt" from a few months ago.

**Swan-of-War**

Doesn't top the Nebraska woman, but remember the kid who fell down while drunk and claimed he was "gay-bashed"?

Back when I was in college, a lesbian couple claimed they were having crosses burnt into their lawn. Guess who was really doing it? One of them even went as far as to pretend to be in a wheelchair to garner sympathy.

This type of behavior isn't limited to the LGBT community either - some people are just messed in the head.

**hotsauceman1**

People will lie to get attention. The only difference is that gays and lesbians can get attentin because they are a hot topic now

**gossipmeng**

On the topic of tips...... I find some fast food chains are leaving the tip option on the debit machine now. I tip 15% when I'm seated and waited on over the course of roughly an hour. Why would I be obligated to tip a cashier/guy who throws a burger together in 2 minutes. They would be entitled to 0.5% in that case

**hotsauceman1**

I tip at subway, because they actually make my food.

**djones520**

hotsauceman1 wrote:
I tip at subway, because they actually make my food.

They make your food the same way the guys at Taco Bell do. Sans bread it's all pre-packaged stuff that they put on a line and make to order. Taco Bell does the same exact thing.

Automatically Appended Next Post:
More details coming out, it sounds like she's a giant attention whore.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/11/27/gay-new-jersey-waitress-in-tip-flap-is-compulsive-liar-friends-say/

**SlaveToDorkness**

Wow, anybody who lies about their service, Being raped, or death of a family member really deserves a special place in Hell. Along with people who talk in the theater.

**hotsauceman1**

djones520 wrote:
hotsauceman1 wrote:
I tip at subway, because they actually make my food.

They make your food the same way the guys at Taco Bell do. Sans bread it's all pre-packaged stuff that they put on a line and make to order. Taco Bell does the same exact thing.

Well, I do feel sorry for them. They(Atleast at the one I frequent) Are there all alone for a few hours, doing the cooking, register, bread making and stuff like that. And I know that sucks.

**Dreadclaw69**

djones520 wrote:
More details coming out, it sounds like she's a giant attention whore.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/11/27/gay-new-jersey-waitress-in-tip-flap-is-compulsive-liar-friends-say/

You would think that some cursory fact checking would have revealed her past history with tall tales.

Or am I meant to pour scorn on the source just because its Fox News?

**sebster**

Swan-of-War wrote:
This type of behavior isn't limited to the LGBT community either - some people are just messed in the head.

It's common enough for people to pretend to have serious illnesses that it's got it's own name - Munchausen syndrome. And if you want to get really depressed, there's Munchausen by proxy, in which a person feigns illness in a dependant, commonly a parent making out their child has a serious illness.

As you say, some people are just messed in the head.

Automatically Appended Next Post:

Dreadclaw69 wrote:
You would think that some cursory fact checking would have revealed her past history with tall tales.

Or am I meant to pour scorn on the source just because its Fox News?

No, but we're supposed to pour scorn on you for assuming that cursory fact checking is the kind of thing news agencies do any more

**cincydooley**

hotsauceman1 wrote:
djones520 wrote:
hotsauceman1 wrote:
I tip at subway, because they actually make my food.

They make your food the same way the guys at Taco Bell do. Sans bread it's all pre-packaged stuff that they put on a line and make to order. Taco Bell does the same exact thing.

Well, I do feel sorry for them. They(Atleast at the one I frequent) Are there all alone for a few hours, doing the cooking, register, bread making and stuff like that. And I know that sucks.

Why? It's a job. An entry level poopy fast food job. We've all worked them. There's nothing to feel bad about.

**hotsauceman1**

Because it flipping sucks being stuck alone when lunch hits? I have been down that road(Still am) and maybe being nice and a few tips would make it less gakky?

**djones520**

hotsauceman1 wrote:
Because it flipping sucks being stuck alone when lunch hits? I have been down that road(Still am) and maybe being nice and a few tips would make it less gakky?

That's your thing I guess. Me, I never expected anything like that when I worked fast food. I actually enjoyed that gak, made the time fly by fast.

**hotsauceman1**

Well my job we cant legally accept tips. So i never expect them.
but im confused then. Why tip a Waiter, who only brought your food and drinks, but not a fastfood guy wh made, package it, rang you up and so forth?

**Cyporiean**

hotsauceman1 wrote:
Well my job we cant legally accept tips. So i never expect them.
but im confused then. Why tip a Waiter, who only brought your food and drinks, but not a fastfood guy wh made, package it, rang you up and so forth?

Because the Waiter makes $2.75/hr and the McJob makes $7.46/hr.

**sebster**

hotsauceman1 wrote:
Well my job we cant legally accept tips. So i never expect them.
but im confused then. Why tip a Waiter, who only brought your food and drinks, but not a fastfood guy wh made, package it, rang you up and so forth?

Because of expectations. I mean, why not tip your lawyer, who turned up at the station in the wee hours of the morning and managed to scare the police enough that they decided not to continue searching your car for traces of blood? Because the lawyer has a fee that already pays him well for his time and effort. Same for the fast food worker, what you pay for the meatball sub is covers the kid's pay, which is comparable with similar jobs of similar skill.

Whereas the waiter at the restaurant doesn't have his real wage covered by the bill for the food. And his pay outside of tips is woeful. So really he needs tips in order to get a decent pay.

**Dreadclaw69**

sebster wrote:
No, but we're supposed to pour scorn on you for assuming that cursory fact checking is the kind of thing news agencies do any more

I know

I still hope against hope that media (especially online) will start being first with the facts, and not just first

**hotsauceman1**

Since when has facts gotten in the way of sensational news stories

**Gentleman_Jellyfish**

sebster wrote:
hotsauceman1 wrote:
Well my job we cant legally accept tips. So i never expect them.
but im confused then. Why tip a Waiter, who only brought your food and drinks, but not a fastfood guy wh made, package it, rang you up and so forth?
Whereas the waiter at the restaurant doesn't have his real wage covered by the bill for the food. And his pay outside of tips is woeful. So really he needs tips in order to get a decent pay.

That's what I'm curious about. Why not change the laws so that they are on an even playing field with every other job? Why do restaurants get this special system?

**sebster**

Dreadclaw69 wrote:
I know I still hope against hope that media (especially online) will start being first with the facts, and not just first

I guess they'll change when we start demanding it of them. So not any time soon

Automatically Appended Next Post:

Gentleman_Jellyfish wrote:
That's what I'm curious about. Why not change the laws so that they are on an even playing field with every other job? Why do restaurants get this special system?

The industry, and it's pay, have evolved to match the custom of tipping. Why that happened I don't know. Why did it become such a fixture of the US system and nowhere else, I don't know.

I can tell you that restaurant service is so much better in the US than anywhere else I've been, so it's a system that has at least something pretty significant going for it.

**Cheesecat**

Tipping is in Canada too.

**hotsauceman1**

What is a "Canada"
Funny, Someone tried to get me to accept canadian money at work.

**Bullockist**

sebster wrote:

Automatically Appended Next Post:

Gentleman_Jellyfish wrote:
That's what I'm curious about. Why not change the laws so that they are on an even playing field with every other job? Why do restaurants get this special system?

The industry, and it's pay, have evolved to match the custom of tipping. Why that happened I don't know. Why did it become such a fixture of the US system and nowhere else, I don't know.

I can tell you that restaurant service is so much better in the US than anywhere else I've been, so it's a system that has at least something pretty significant going for it.

I read this as " The industry and it's gay, have evolved to match the custom of tipping". .... After reading this "news story" I am not so sure it has.

**DogofWar1**

It's unfortunate when someone perpetrates a hoax like this, if this was indeed one, because it discredits people who actually are getting discriminated against.

On the issue of tipping, restaurants should simply do away with tipping en masse and raise food prices to provide decent wages. Sure, some servers suck and don't deserve good tips, but most bust their rears all day and often have little to show for it. They also have to be the middle man between the cooks and the customers, which means when either gets pissed (usually the cooks at the customers or vice versa) waiters are stuck dealing with it. I really feel for them.

In addition, I know that there are people out there who are prejudiced and are dicks about it. There was another story out in Kansas similar to this one. I don't know the veracity of that one, but I checked news and haven't seen anything discrediting yet. Either way, I have little doubt that people use their prejudices to excuse being crappy people.

Basically, failing to tip decently at a restaurant makes you a bad person who should feel bad about being bad. Failing to tip decently not only because you're cheap, but also because you're prejudiced makes you doubly bad.