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My kids believe all this loot comes from santa. They are 6 and 4. This is the first year I felt bad after my 6 year old daughter said "are you sure Santa brings us toys and you and mama don't put them under the tree?" They are asleep happily surrounded by new toys secure in the fact that
The fat man pulled off a mathematically impossible delivery run yet again.

So what's the best play here, wait for them to figure it out on there own and maybe lose all credibility?
Tell them the truth and crush there childhood innocence and allow them to spread anti Santa propaganda at the playground?

I'd say wait for a bit. When they're older, they will probably be able to take it easier. Then again, I'm no father.
If you're going to tell them though, http://m.wikihow.com/Tell-Your-Child-Who-Santa-Is

Tell them the real truth about Christmas... tell them... about... Krampus...

 jedi76 wrote:
My kids believe all this loot comes from santa. They are 6 and 4. This is the first year I felt bad after my 6 year old daughter said "are you sure Santa brings us toys and you and mama don't put them under the tree?" They are asleep happily surrounded by new toys secure in the fact that
The fat man pulled off a mathematically impossible delivery run yet again.

So what's the best play here, wait for them to figure it out on there own and maybe lose all credibility?
Tell them the truth and crush there childhood innocence and allow them to spread anti Santa propaganda at the playground?

Part of the magic that is Christmas is that there is a man that breaks into your house, and not only doesn't steal your tv, but often leaves you gifts and presents. It's easy to tell kids that Santa exists and that he visits once a year to give gifts to good boys and girls. The easiest way is to just let kids naturally figure it out for themselves. I learned when I was about 8 or 9 when Santa suspiciously had the same handwriting as my dad. I kept it a secret until I was 11 or so, and since then the number of gifts from Santa were fewer and fewer and the number of gifts from mom and dad were more and more. It's cool to see the sparkle in a kid's eyes when they believe that a fat man shimmies down their chimney to deliver them gifts, and not only does he do it for them, but for every good kid worldwide, and he does it just because they were a good kid.

Let them enjoy it man

Just nut up and tell them man. Like ripping off a band-aid. Sit em down and tell em Santa isn't real, but on the other hand, their awesome parents (take great pains to stress the awesome part) bring them all these sweet as gifts each year.

Good find skaven lord, just glad other parents struggle with this. I remember I just figured it out on my own and I think I want to be a little more pro active with my own spawn. Gonna give them another couple years I reckon.

A big part of the holiday is keeping that hope of magic alive in the kids. I don't go nearly as full out as my parents did with it, they were masters. Had me dead convinced until I was 10 with video tape footage and other shenanigans. My wife and I still do what we can though, with putting our presents out a few days earlier so they can clearly see the ones Santa brought. We also put food out for the reindeer that gets eaten over night.

My oldest is 5, and already some gak parents have ruined it for other kids, and by consequence have gotten doubt going for my son, but we're gonna do what we can to keep it special for him and the other kids. I'd suggest doing the same. Let them enjoy it as much as they can, let them keep that childhood innocence for as long as they can.

This could have all been avoided if you told the they were your gifts in the first place.

I figured out that Santa wasn't real around age 5, and I felt awesome because I thought I was pulling as much of a fast one on my parents (and others kids) as they had been pulling on me. Its sort of like the first time you're allowed to sit at the adult table for (insert Holiday) dinner.

So, yeah, I'm in the "Let them figure it out." camp.

 Cheesecat wrote:
This could have all been avoided if you told the they were your gifts in the first place.

But then they'd believe that Santa didn't stop by because they were naughty. That's a hell of a guilt trip to lay on your kids just so you don't have to deal with them growing up.

 djones520 wrote:
A big part of the holiday is keeping that hope of magic alive in the kids. I don't go nearly as full out as my parents did with it, they were masters. Had me dead convinced until I was 10 with video tape footage and other shenanigans. My wife and I still do what we can though, with putting our presents out a few days earlier so they can clearly see the ones Santa brought. We also put food out for the reindeer that gets eaten over night.

My oldest is 5, and already some gak parents have ruined it for other kids, and by consequence have gotten doubt going for my son, but we're gonna do what we can to keep it special for him and the other kids. I'd suggest doing the same. Let them enjoy it as much as they can, let them keep that childhood innocence for as long as they can.

This guy knows what's up

I think its best to fess up and tell the truth when kids begin to put two and two together on their own initiative.

If they're mature and intelligent enough to begin to suspect on their own initiative without external influence (e.g. friends, teachers, TV, catching you in a Santa outfit filling their stockings at night...wait, that one was me) that a jolly fat man in a red coat and long white beard riding a flying reindeer drawn sleigh isn't entirely believable then they're mature enough to learn that their presents come from their parents, extended family and friends.

Who knows, maybe they'll learn to appreciate the value and meaning of gifts more when they understand that people have to work and earn those items to give as gifts; and that they don't just magically materialise.

TL;DR Keep it up for as long as your kids believe in Santa, but stop when they begin to see through it and begin to apply their own critical thinking to the concept. Of course, if some jerk has 'ruined' Xmas by spilling the beans then assure them that Santa does in fact exist.

Given that they have already asked this question it seems like they are going into the area where they figuring this out for themselves. Are they really attached to the idea of Santa? If not, then honestly you should just go ahead and tell them the truth. It's better than you awkwardly trying to hold up something that will be increasingly hard to pretend to be real and IMO gives the wrong message to the kids about the nature of honesty and truth; ESPECIALLY if they ask you directly.

Innocence is a bit...overrated given that as humans they'll be exposed to horrendous stuff regardless of what we can do to shelter them so it's better to get this stuff out ahead of time. Worst case scenario they realize you guys are the ones considerate and loving enough to get them gifts they want (I presume) on a yearly basis.

I'm just curious how many offering advice have kids. As I said, just curious.

Or, given that we mostly play with little plastic toys, how many of us ever stopped being kids?

I plan to be honest with my son. My wife wants to keep the pretense going, but I feel very uneasy lying to my son while trying to teach him to tell the truth. Fortunately, he's only two and doesn't really understand Santa for now.

Also, as someone who has worked with children of all ages, I think it's hilarious when people call children innocent. Ignorant, maybe, but not innocent.

All children realise Santa Claus is fiction by about 11 years old. You don't need to rush the process. Let him enjoy the magic of his dreams!

Never believed in the fat man myself, and I won't let my children believe in him either. I'd much rather have my children trust me and know that I love them, than lie to them for their entire childhood.

My daughter (8) still believes and I have no intention of ruining it. She is starting to get suspicious, but still felt the magic and excitement this year when she got presents that only Santa knew about.

I expect that one day she will ask me if it is true, and I will answer with, "Do you want to believe?" I think it teaches an important lesson about the nature of Faith and the people who have it.

I think I was 9 the year I figured it out by seeing a present in the basement (I wasn't peeking, it was just out) that was listed as Santa when I received it. The next year, I told 'Santa' I wanted a certain toy and told my parents I asked him for something else. I, of course, got what I mentioned to them. This is the lesson I learned:
Don't lie behind Santa's back, you won't get what you asked him for.

 Easy E wrote:

My daughter (8) still believes and I have no intention of ruining it. She is starting to get suspicious, but still felt the magic and excitement this year when she got presents that only Santa knew about.

I expect that one day she will ask me if it is true, and I will answer with, "Do you want to believe?" I think it teaches an important lesson about the nature of Faith and the people who have it.

For years as my daughter was getting older, my line to her about Santa was "He's real if you believe in him. He'll come if you want him to." That kept her invested through the doubting years (7-10). She was finally 10-11 when she finally faded gracefully out of Santa belief - but it was her choice, and her timing. She still enjoys Santa related stuff, and loves the Santa Tracker, and keeps up the pretense with family friends with little ones. And she tells them the same thing "He's real if you want him to be real."

We had a funny conversation yesterday about why adults lie to children - George Washington and the cherry tree, the Civil War, Santa, the Tooth Fairy, etc. She wasn't bitter about Santa, just genuinely curious - so I think we did alright in our approach.

My stepson never told his daughter there was a Santa. He is following a policy where he tries to be honest with her in all things and doesn't even tell what I would consider little white lies. This has made for some truly unpleasant trips to the doctor ("Will they give me a shot, dad?" "probably" - this is a 100% actual incident, among others).

His theory is that the Santa thing sets a foundation where you can never really trust your parents, really early in childhood. I have never told him my opinion because he has never asked me but I think she's kind of missing out on Christmas magic which kids enjoy. There are some kind of lies that are OK to tell, I think - where no one gets hurt and lives a happier life because of them.

 djones520 wrote:
I'm just curious how many offering advice have kids. As I said, just curious.

Phil Jackson never won an NBA championship personally, so by this reasoning he should have been unqualified to coach Michael Jordan, yes?

 jedi76 wrote:
My kids believe all this loot comes from santa. They are 6 and 4. This is the first year I felt bad after my 6 year old daughter said "are you sure Santa brings us toys and you and mama don't put them under the tree?" They are asleep happily surrounded by new toys secure in the fact that
The fat man pulled off a mathematically impossible delivery run yet again.

So what's the best play here, wait for them to figure it out on there own and maybe lose all credibility?
Tell them the truth and crush there childhood innocence and allow them to spread anti Santa propaganda at the playground?

Take them on a bank heist. When you all get out the vehicle tells them this is how Santa gets the green for the presents.

In a world where I see spoiled people on facebook complaining that they didn't get xbox 1s for Christmas and are only worried about what they are getting, looks like some people failed to learn what Christmas was all about.

Every kids Christmas special basically tells kids 'there is no santa, but there is a spirit of giving, service to others and so on.' If you watch these Christmas specials, the main character only 'meets santa' once they have done something in the spirit of charity to others and helping others.

Here is my story: When I was growing up, my family had a rough patch. My sister had Leukemia and the family was not doing well for a few years. I never knew that we were poor, or how dire my sister's condition was, I was too young. During that time I would get a present from Santa which was a new transformer. Not a big gift, but it meant a lot to me. When I became older, I found out that my Mom's co-workers would buy my sister and I christmas gifts 'from santa' because all the family's money went to medical bills. When you boil it down, those gifts from Santa really were from 'santa' even if they came from others. It wasn't a lie. From that point forward, Christmas was about 'what I could do for others' not 'what video game I got under the tree.'

I was never raised in a 'gift-centric' house. We always had what we needed. Presents are appreciated, never expected. Now I get to be 'santa' to others wherever I can help. And like Scrooge says, I try to keep that spirit in how I live my life year around, not just at Christmas.


For you guys who are like 'Santa is a lie, presents come from the store. Time to tell the kids.' That is a failure. If your kids are questioning santa, then maybe it is time to expose them to some things... like giving to others less fortunate, Helping others. Don't say santa is a lie and stop believing... you teach them to 'become santa' not simply ignore it and demand a new iPhone from mom and dad instead. If you teach them that Santa exists via charity and service, then it never was a lie to begin with. If you end with spoiling kids with presents and that's it, then you reap what you sow.

@Nkelsh- Have an Exalt.

That was a solid post nkelsch

Also djones, I don't have kids, but I've had the children of my cousins ask me since we're the closest in age (15 to 20 years, but still)

this is why I celebrate festivus.

everyone knows exactly where the empty beer cans come from

I wish more people did the 'airing of grievances'. I have seen many friendships ended over petty crap and misunderstandings. We have had to have a forced 'Festivas' many times

As for 'Does Santa Exist'... This is the PERFECT kids Christmas story for it. Handles it perfectly. Shows the crass commercialism, coming of age of questioning Santa, shows a single dad handling it for his son, Shows the service to others and the kid learns a lesson in the end and leaves the 'answer' of 'Does Santa Exist' to be a personal answer. And good old Peg-Leg Pete didn't get his X-Box 1 for Christmas and complains on facebook.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ez2U9s5L3UQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWJGyi8LWlA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkbm5WdR8Uc

This is one of my Favorite specials.

Also: Santa does exist:
http://wcrz.com/who-knew-santa-is-really-the-ups-man-video/

He just wears Brown and Drives a UPS truck.

Honestly, if the 6 year old is asking stuff like that, then he/she is ready... when/if you tell the older one, make sure you remind them to not ruin it for the younger one till they are ready in their own time.

For my family, the spirit of Christmas was being a minority in a culture where the majority claim persecution if you don't let them lord it over you. Kind of puts a damper on the magic.