Our avatars in a room.

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**sing your life**

Wraithguard are so much better than Terminators

**Buttery Commissar**

[Attempts to climb down carefully without upsetting the Elder God] [Is still entangled in yarn]
[Falls halfway and ends up suspended by one ankle from yarn looped over a scary looking spine]

I fething hate today.
[Yarn snaps]

[Hits floor]

So much.

[Brushes self down] [Sits down on sofa and starts untangling yarn] [Is making it worse]

[Looks up] Feth me, is that a Death Guard?

**CREEEEEEEEED**

I think you mean Virgin guard. Even the horniest pleasure daemon wouldn't touch that.

**Verviedi**

I-I... Em....

Well, the Mechanicus AND Eldar AND Inquisition AND Chaos are all trying to MURDER me, so I suppose... Mechanicum?

**Buttery Commissar**

[Finally untangles self] [Stands up] [Small victory sound effect]

Crikey. That's a damn impressive list of enemies, Verviedi.

[Wanders over to Butter Tank for a nap] ... [Peers inside]

... ... [Sound of teeth grinding]

...You may +1 Commissar to that list, shortly.

**Co'tor Shas**

You seem to have a knack for making enemies Vervi'. What's next, were attacked by short people who hate you for continuously stealing their tech?

**Verviedi**

....It's a long story, but a few forge worlds want to kill me for "abusing Xenotech" and "Rampant tech-heresy", the Inquisition got pissy because I... well.... summoned a Bloodthirster in the middle of a Inquisitorial Convention , and... Do I really have to explain why the Eldar and Chaos want to kill me? I'm sure you have just as many enemies.

*Rolls small runestone between fingers*

I'm sure the Squats are in no condition to get mad at me.
I think my diplomatic immunity in the Tau Empire is still legal. In my, well, mad dash to get the hell out of the Imperium I donated a fully functioning warp-capable frigate. That should be enough to not get murdered in my charging phase by stealth suits.

*Backing up disturbs nest of Servo-Skulls and they take flight inside the ButterTank*

gak, gak, gak, gak gakgakgakgakgakgak...

**Buttery Commissar**

Verviedi wrote:
*Backing up disturbs nest of Servo-Skulls and they take flight inside the ButterTank*

There are simply not enough nopes stored on my person for this situation. [Puts head in hands] I'm in the predicament of really not wanting to set fire to my own tank.

[Sits on roof and chain-smokes] [Thinking]

**Co'tor Shas**

Squats? Never heard of them. I was talking about dermiug. Although they seem relatively OK with people stealing their tech. I mean, they just up and gave us the designs for their mining lasers, which we turned into out ion weaponry. You never want to get hit my a dermiug mining ship, they are slow, but hit like a trukk.

**Verviedi**

Just as a note. There were a thousand copies of me inside that thing. You should probably not go in there until I clean it out. Unless you like random mechanisms and many, MANY failed experiments.

*Gestures to parties of heavily-armed Skitarii armed with flame weapons getting ready to clean out the tank*

OOC: Ion weapons were originally intended for mining? I wish that hadn't been cut from my copy of the Tau codex...

**Buttery Commissar**

...!

[Drops down, and steps away] Woah, woah. Have you ever seen a grease fire? Let's all back away from the tank with those.
Emperor help us all, on the day I have to be the one being health and safety conscious...

Feth it. [Walks into tank] [Puts hand over eyes and ignores servo skulls] Bleh.

Out. I'm going to take a shower, that should at least still be a thing. I'm covered in cat fur and for many reasons, shame.

**Verviedi**

*Six Kataphron Servitors with flamers wait outside the bathroom obediently, occasionally shooting stray servo-skulls*

**Co'tor Shas**

OOC: it was from stuff when dermiug was originally introduced. BFG, IIRC. The derimiug mining ships actually used them as weapons, short ranged, but very powerful lances (I think, it's been a while). The the dermiug have been described, I always imagined that they would play like short, untrained space marines, with short-ranged ion weaponry.

**JamesGang**

Stumbles out of bathroom with Father's Day presents and a half full bottle of wine.

Whizzes on Verviedi's robes,

Mmmmmmm survival butter knife!

**Verviedi**

OOC: I should dig up my paper copy of the BFG rulebook. Could scan it up and distribute it as yet another source of info for those who want to play BFG in these forsaken times.

**Verviedi**

DAMMIT!!!!!

*Black gooey substance oozes out from the robe and encases the stain*

*Goo disappears and the robe is perfectly unblemished and dry again*

That has happened so many times I developed a countermeasure for it. Woe is the life of my wardrobe.

**Buttery Commissar**

[Appears out of top hatch of tank in a bathrobe and wet towel, with Commissariat shower cap] [Slams hatch shut and sits on it]

I said "Out." what part of that was easily interpreted as "Please, put your terrifyingly creepy servitors near the bathroom door."?
And I don't know what you guys did the the plumbing, but there's a distinct sound of screaming when running the cold water.

**KaptinBadrukk**

Hey Buttery. I see you're not a cat anymore.

I decided to come back. So, how is everybody. Did I miss anything?

**Verviedi**

Hooray! Welcome back!

**thenoobbomb**

What's that little girl doing in here? This is a Battlefield!

**Buttery Commissar**

[Hops down from roof of tank, waving] Hi Kaptin! Good to see you're back.

...And you're now a small child? And I'm stood in a bathrobe.

Oh feth, I'm about to get arrested for even having this conversation in public, aren't I. [Starts edging towards door of tank]

**thenoobbomb**

I saw that, you dirty bastard!

*aims down sights with MG4*

**KaptinBadrukk**

Thank you all! I expect to have fun here.

**Buttery Commissar**

Crap.
...Well, I'm not going to raise my hands. They're all I have keeping the towel in place.

**thenoobbomb**

If that's what you want...

*opens fire* Raaah!

**zombiekila707**

*wakes up to the sound of gunfire*

-Hmmm... Where is my cat?-

*Slowly gets up and conjures up a throne made up of objects from the sea*

-Guess ill cause all the humans to seizure and die-

*shrugs*

**thenoobbomb**

Man down, man down..?

**Buttery Commissar**

...You know, whilst I've never been particularly responsible, I always expected a slightly more dignified reason for death than refusing to indecently expose myself to a child. [Keels over into tank]

**shasolenzabi**

"Now, now, don't go killing people randomly, that is in poor taste!" says curled up Dragon of space. "Besides, if you do things right, no one will know if you did anything at all." chuckles

**zombiekila707**

Buttery Commissar wrote:
...You know, whilst I've never been particularly responsible, I always expected a slightly more dignified reason for death than refusing to indecently expose myself to a child. [Keels over into tank]

*scratches head*

-I have no response to that... I liked you more as a cat... can you do that again?-