Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

*doesn't even notice getting poked*

[Very calmly puts hell-pistol barrel in Selym's mouth and fires it] You ask a lady before you do things like that.

[Looks at pistol] [Starts laughing and falls over backwards] ...it shoots pretty lights.

*daemonette begins protesting*

*still being frenched*

Wait. Hang on.

*Disables emotions*

*Rams taser goad into Lucius' neck, empties fletchete blaster into his brain and hearts, decapitates him with bladed fist, incinerates the corpse, and throws the ashes into a hole in Pertuabo's armor*

I feel nothing. No satisfaction, and no pleasure.

*Reactivates emotions*

I actually feel kind of sad I had to do that :(

*someone on Mars feels a small amount of pride about the weaponry they have made in their lifetime. One of them was a flechete blaster...*

Uh oh.

Well, at least he'll be on the other side of the galaxy!

Shazam!

*Lucies the eternal comes back to life.*

Sense we have some dumb belief of trying to keep this place civilized! I think its best if we keep some chaos in here...

*Notices lucies is back from dead already*

WELL sense you did that before me! I shall summon Khorne cause he is much cooler!

[Sobers up slightly] [Sits up] [Pats through pockets] Ah feth, I dropped all my gear when I fell off the tank.

[Shambles outside] Found my lighter, my smokes, tank license and keys, but where's my wallet and my sigil of-

[Coughs] Where's my wallet?

*Looks around*

It's on your bed.

*crushes Daemonette with Forgebreaker*

*Hastur floats away, Throne of skulls rise from the ground*

WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING IN THE MORTAL REALM?!

*Daemonette reappears behind BC*

*Forgebreaker appears in Pertuabo's mouth*

Plot armor, beatch.

*Screams in surprise as Khorne appears to my immediate left*

[Shrugs] [Re-enters tank and retrieves wallet] That solves one problem, at least.

[Is pinned to wall by angry Daemonette holding up black and white skull pendant] Aces! You found it! ...Is this still about the cake?

*Relaxes in BC's chair and observes with interest*

I shall break your plot armor!

Look... It's nothing personal, I just wasn't lying when I said that I hated everyone equally... [Is released] [Puts pendant back on under shirt]

[Notices the time] Oh, feth. [Is dragged to kitchen by an ear]

*Leaves*

Have fun!

*Returns to poking Khorne*

 Verviedi wrote:
*Leaves*

Have fun!

*Returns to poking Khorne*

*Picks up Verviedi and throws him to the horizion*

SEE YOU LATER! *sniffs air* IS THAT A SLAANESH DAEMON I SMELL!

*Grabs super killy axe and summons flesh hounds then begins man/woman/it hunt for slaanesh daemons*

*Runs over and shoots a bunch of needle spines into Verv, pinning him to a nearby tree*

"I don't think poking Khorne will end well for any of us, do you?"

*Turns to Khorne*

"Now Khorne, don't get all angry and upset, he was just having fun. He's only a machine after all!"

*Khorne roars very loudly and angrily*

"Time to Zerg Rush away from here, I think!"

*Runs away and hides under the Butter Tank*

OOC: Ninja'd!

*Teleports back to the room*

Oh, come on. Don't kill the poor Daemonette. (S)he has plot armor anyway.

 Verviedi wrote:
*Teleports back to the room*

Oh, come on. Don't kill the poor Daemonette. (S)he has plot armor anyway.

feth THAT! NUMBER ONE WHY THE feth DOES A DAEMONETTE HAVE PLOT ARMOR AND WHAT IS THIS PLOT ARMOR? SOUNDS LIKE FORTH WALL BREAKING AND I WILL HAVE NONE OF THAT gak!

[Muffled yelling and banging from inside tank]

[Steps outside for a smoke-break] ...She force-fed me my own Malal pendant. [Stares into space] Twice.

And I have no idea what plot armor is, but if it's anything like that warp dust I want nothing to do with it.

[Stubs out smoke and goes back into tank]

Ouch...

Em...

Would you like more cake and pizza now?

*DING*

*Checks mail*

Stupid Machine-God... Always sending me Daemon Princehood invites...

Hey! Khorne! Can you tell the Machine-God that I don't want Daemon Princehood! I like staying here!

Well, actually, try not to get curbstomped by him/her/it when you tell him/her/it...

*Grabs buttery commissars tank and crushes it into a ball*

MALAL, MALICE WHATEVER HIS GOD DAMN NAME IS FETH THAT! AND FETH THAT DAEMONETTE!

*Begins running around killing stuff*

SKULLS BRING THEM TO ME!

[Muffled] I was trying to avoid fething the daemonette...

And don't tell me you're in any way surprised at the Malal thing.

...It's getting quite hard to breathe in here.

What's wrong with the Daemonette, BC? And why IS it getting hard to breathe?

*Watches in interest as the shattered remnants of the tank jump back into it's original, unchanged shape*

Oh right, remember when I turned the insides of the tank into a technological horror show? Turns out some of my modifications stayed!

[Falls backwards out of tank, lies on the floor and stares at the ceiling] ...I'm trying to avoid the daemonette because I quite like my soul on the inside of my body. And very little else on the inside of my body that isn't food.

[Shuffles off to bed]

You do realise the pact you made that caused her to be here in the first place made it impossible for any chaos power to claim your soul, correct?

I, of course, could probably extract your soul and put it in a bottle to shake around if I'm bored, but you're safe as of right now!

Good idea!

*Hides under BC's bed and powers off*