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Don't look!

*fireball to Selym's face*

OW OW OW OW OW!!

*sticks face in a nearby puddle*

Heh. At least that restored the men's morale.

[double post]

*runs away and returns in full armor*

There, that's better.

You have a Daemon as a secretary!?

HERETIC!

Men, fire at will!

*100 lasguns begin firing at BC*

*hits Selym's face with armored glove*

You earned that, those pajamas cost me over a thousand Septims!

...I'm just not very good at lying, okay?

And I'm not a heretic! I'm just very confused at the moment. There was a vox call and a book, and this warp rift, and then everyone was shouting at me-

Gah! [Looks around for cover] [Stands behind Selym]

Alright, Commissar. Here's the deal. Help me kill that daemon, and you're not a heretic.

And as for you psyker, you better start proving your worth to the Emperor.

I'm already a loyal servant of Titus Mede II, pervert.

Who the hell is Titus Mede? Is he some form of usurper?
There is only ONE Emperor, the God Emperor of Mankind, who has ruled across the stars for thousands of years!

...Which daemon?

Titus Mede II is the Emperor of Tamriel, the very same Empire founded by Saint Alessia and later Reman Cyrodiil!

*Calmly holds flechete blaster to Selym's neck*

Call off your troops, Imperial.

Witch, I have 360° vision and recording systems built into my helmet. Stand down or I send the Daemonette all of my recordings of the last hour.

*flechete goes off by accident*

*all the guardsmen run off*

*Notices small, bloody hole in Selym's neck*

Oh gak.

*Puts bandaid over it*

Serves you right!

[Folds arms] Verviedi, that was very rude. Selym was going to explain about the daemon we need to get rid of.

What daemon?

...The one in my tank. We were gonna go in there and sort it out. [Poker-face]

Plus, he said if I got rid of it with him, I wouldn't be considered a heretic.

[Scratches head] Which is odd, because I wasn't a heretic when I came in here to begin with.

...

[Stares very hard at Verviedi]

*laying on the floor, covered in blood, dead*

*wakes up with a start*

Oh Emperor! Wtf was that!

[Kicks Selym] Get up, lazybones.

Heresy grows from idleness.

*Hounds of khrone run in from the long walk*

HEY YOU LOYALIST PIECE OF GAK IM DONE WALKING MY DOGS

*Looks arounds for skulls*

WTF DID I SAY GET ME GOD DAMN SKULLS OR I WILL EAT YOU ALL FOR DINNER!

Whoa, what's that Daedra doing here?

WTF YOU CALL ME!? YOU THINK I AM SOME DUMB ASS CREATURE FROM ELDER SCROLLS?! NAAAA HELLL NAAA

*Begins stomping on thenoobbomb for such disrespect*

Whuh? [Gives zombiekilla some thrones for his throne-skull]

 Buttery Commissar wrote:
Whuh? [Gives zombiekilla some thrones for his throne-skull]

YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY MORTAL!

*Picks up Buttery Commissar chews off his face*

Wait, did I end up in Oblivion at a very high level?

What part of allied to the Chaos god of Anarchy and irritating other Chaos gods was unclear?

[Dodges Khorne and runs for it]
[Throws him a family-sized Snickers whilst on the retreat]

HA! MALAL IS A BAD JOKE IF ANYTHING! HE WILL NEVER GET A CODEX AND WILL NEVER HAVE ANY FLUFF BESIDES THE SONS OF MALICE!

*Tears hole in reality summoning forth hordes of Bloodthirster*

Blah blah blah. [Catapults a five gallon jug of milk at Khorne]

[Sees daemons]

...

...

[Looks around for tank] No? Ah. [Unsheathes power sword]