Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

OOC:Smells of eggs seasoned and cooked in butter with bacon and sausages and pancakes fills the air.


"Oh hey all, I figured a hearty breakfast for all would be needed."

 Selym wrote:
++/+//={ Start Transmission from Holy Terra}=\\+\++

The possibility has been considered, Buttery.

++/+//={ End Transmission from Holy Terra}=\\+\++

You're not qualified to answer!

Ooh, eggs. Thank you Dragon!

*holsters revolvers*

Thankee dragon a mighty fine meal.

Delicious! ^.^

"Glad folks are liking, coffee, several juices, make a request if you don't see one you want, and of course milk/choco milk for those who want"

OOC the spread is under a shady large garrison tent

[Takes a tray out out to Badrukk] ...Selym you really ought to tell him he doesn't have to stand there any more.

++/+//={ Start Transmission from Holy Terra}=\\+\++

You may call Me "The Almighty Emperor". Also, I don't have to. It's an Ork. It'll eat its friends when it gets hungry. That's why they make such easy pets.

++/+//={ End Transmission from Holy Terra}=\\+\++

[Folds arms] Nuh-uh. Make me.

[Unfolds arms] That was a very stupid thing to do whilst carrying a tray. [Sighs and fetches a replacement]

 Selym wrote:
++/+//={ Start Transmission from Holy Terra}=\\+\++

You may call Me "The Almighty Emperor". Also, I don't have to. It's an Ork. It'll eat its friends when it gets hungry. That's why they make such easy pets.

++/+//={ End Transmission from Holy Terra}=\\+\++

I can put the creature down if you would like... I don't know though seems pretty harmless...

*sips coffee*

"En Taro Tassadar, good people! When the Emperor teleported me here, there was a strange confluence between universes, and I became High Templar ZergSmasher of the Protoss Conclave instead of that Hydralisk with delusions of grandeur."

*Looks around*

"Looks like TNB is no longer a woman and the buttery one is no longer a cat, and the Kaptin is still an Ork."

*Sees the breakfast offered by the dragon*

"You do realize that Protoss have no mouth, right?"

I made a queen-sized bed out of a jeep's seat cushions, and a microwave out of a lasgun.

Honestly, I feel very accomplished.

Oh, sure you can sleep here until after Wednesday evening. I don't blame you.

*Crawls under bed and lets out a very undignified shriek which is quickly silenced*

Lucky for you we find ourselves on such a high intensity sun baked world, plenty of light for you to absorb.

 ZergSmasher wrote:
"En Taro Tassadar, good people! When the Emperor teleported me here, there was a strange confluence between universes, and I became High Templar ZergSmasher of the Protoss Conclave instead of that Hydralisk with delusions of grandeur."

*Looks around*

"Looks like TNB is no longer a woman and the buttery one is no longer a cat, and the Kaptin is still an Ork."

*Sees the breakfast offered by the dragon*

"You do realize that Protoss have no mouth, right?"

AMMO TO THE FACE
*throws ammobox*

MMMPHHH!!!

*Sound of drill*

[Peers under bed] ..? You alright down there?

*Desperately crawls out dragging a pink tentacle fragment behind me*

What the hell was that.

..? [Lifts bed] [Nothing underneath]

Whatever it is, it's moved.

You know, I think going outside seems much more attractive right now.

Does this planet have sand worms?

I wonder why the Emperor gave us that gear?

Short answer: Because he's insane.

Long answer: Because he's insane and bored and a massive jerk.

[Leans on outer-wall and smokes]

Guys! There's a small map on my screen!

++/+//={ Start Transmission from Holy Terra}=\\+\++

 Buttery Commissar wrote:
Short answer: Because he's insane.

Long answer: Because he's insane and bored and a massive jerk.

[Leans on outer-wall and smokes]

Got it in two. Also, this planet does not have worms.

...

...It has an enormous leviathan for a core, this wasteland is its shell, and those are feeding tendrils.

As for the Ak-47's and Jeeps, that's for the space lice.

++/+//={ End Transmission from Holy Terra}=\\+\++

...space lice? What in the hell are sp-

You're making this up to dick with us. Again.

[Sits in the shade] You're the worst undead-deity-warlord-lunatic, and it's making me question my life decisions.

[A giant white beetle-like creature scuttles up]

[Ignores it] We have knarlocs, Tyranids and Zerg on a weekly basis. That's not exactly on the scale.

[Sets up hammock] [Pulls down hat and naps in the shade]

++/+//={ Start Transmission from Holy Terra}=\\+\++


This planet is heading for Armageddon. If you kill it, the gasses it will expel will redirect you to a much nicer part of the galaxy.

++/+//={ End Transmission from Holy Terra}=\\+\++

I'm not going to kill something just because you say it's a good idea. For all I know you're another bloody daemon. Based on your actions thus far I'm not feeling that's an unfair assumption.

Besides which... You're saying that dead-bug-farts will propel the planet toward safety?

Bugger that for a game of soldiers. [Goes back to napping]

++/+//={ Start Transmission from Holy Terra}=\\+\++

[A strange feeling enters BC's mind]

What if I start talking about that time with the chicken?

++/+//={ End Transmission from Holy Terra}=\\+\++

*Walks over to desert beetle creature and starts to put a saddle into it*

I have a feeling this thing can handle the weight of a couple bolters mounted onto its sides. That'd be fun.

[Perplexed expression] I genuinely don't know what you're talking about. Or who exactly you'd think would be surprised if it were true.

However if we're talking embarrassing episodes, how about the time you failed so hard as a parent that your kids revolted, one tried to kill you and you wound up in a chair.
Too soon? [Holds up middle finger]

And what about the time when you failed so hard at lying that you had to purge Mars because we found you out?