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I didn't try to harm him, those orks on the other hand...

[To BC] What do you tend to eat anyway? Just about anything?

Coconut cake. [Nods] Coffee. [Nods a lot]


ooc: it's never expressly clear. In the film he rejects cake, in the show he is omnivorous.

1-4, 1-4, do you read me? We are under attack! 1-4, are you there?

I guess we have more in common than I thought.

*Makes fresh pot of coffee and pours two cups full*

OOC: I checked Netflix for the show, for old times sake and sadly couldn't see it. They only have the movies.

*sound of gunfire and people dying*

*static // channel change*

...and now we shall try these new drinks.

The first is Soylens Veridius mixed with Amasec and Recaf.

*slurping sounds*

Oh, Emperor it's disgusting!

[Sips coffee] [Ears perk up] [Grins]

Okay, I'm never trying that again.
Why did you do it in the first place - all of those ingredients are terrible.
Amasec and Recaf are perfectly good drinks!
Amasec is brewed from engine oil!
Exactly! And d'ya know what's in engine oil?
Hundreds of toxins and a ton of carbon monoxide?
Crops that used to be used in properly alcoholic drinks!
Which were banned thousands of years ago. And Amasec is going to go the same way if you're not careful.

*static // channel change*

Please state the nature of the medical emergency.

Oh, and...

We hold these truths to be self-evident--that all holograms are programmed equal...

*Pats BC on the back*

That's the spirit! Now, maybe I can train you to fight with a rifle, eh? Krootox back home are too stupid, and Knarlocs and deadly enough the way it is, so I never really had anything try and use one of our rifles that wasn't a Kroot. Sound fun?

Calling Buttery Commissar, Calling Buttery Commissar! Do you read me, Buttery Commissar!

 Selym wrote:
Calling Buttery Commissar, Calling Buttery Commissar! Do you read me, Buttery Commissar!

[Scuttles up wall and examines vox speaker] ..?

[Finishes coffee] Hm. [Looks at the size of the rifle] ...?

What is this creature you refer to as Buttery Commissar?

*Pulls phone from ear*

*Goes white with shock*

W-We have a problem...

*Sprints off through an unmarked stone door*

*Runs past the corpse of Pelinial Whitestrake, 64 servitored Farseers, a selection of burned-out mechanical bodies, a table with a bar under the tablecloth, and several thousand modified drones*

Cthulhu-Scrapcode... Where did I put you...?

 Buttery Commissar wrote:

 Selym wrote:
Calling Buttery Commissar, Calling Buttery Commissar! Do you read me, Buttery Commissar!

[Scuttles up wall and examines vox speaker] ..?

[Finishes coffee] Hm. [Looks at the size of the rifle] ...?

Buttery Commissar, come in! We desperatley need your help in the firing squad! Whole platoons are defecting!

I'll take care of this.

*steals vox amplifier. Turns it to max volume*

WILL EVERYONE PLEASE STOP DEFECTING SO WE CAN LIVE PEACEFULLY?!?!?!?!?!?!

[Taps speaker and shrugs] [Climbs down] Tell me more about this rifle?

[Somewhere on a desert resort planet, BC is finishing his drink and going back to sleep in a sun lounger] [There's a tiny umbrella in the glass]

Well, it has axes on the sides, for close combat, and it is outfitted for plasma charges. It's simple to use, and looks cool while you use it.

*beams down*

Where is everybody?

*static // channel change*

*perfect German*

Jodl is advancing to the Reichstag! And where is Fegelein!?

I thought this was the year 2372?

*static // channel change*

And, once again, the weather.

Thankyou Sherman.
It's a very cold close to the 32nd Millennium, as universal temperature average drops by 1%, leaving many...

*fades to static*

*fixes Radio*

*static // channel change*

*turns off radio*

*Wall explodes *

I AMZ GRUKK DA FACE-RIPPA? I CAMEZ HEREZ TO CHEW SQUIGG GUM AND KICK ASS! AND IMZ ALLZ OUTZ OF SQUIGG GUM

*Hordes of orks still loyal to Grukk storm in and start picking fights and stealing stuff*

[Drops down from ceiling and throws an Ork at another Ork] Grah!
[Rolls away and trips up more Orks]

*fires rifle at one ork and jumps into a group of them*

Now you get to see firsthand what the rifle can do, Stitch

*Orks stare in awe at the small creature who threw a ork in another ork*

DATZ A NASTY SQUIG! BOYZ GET ME DA SQUIG AND IZE LETZ YOU ALL LIVE!

*Orks frantically look for Buttery Commissar*

*A lone Castellax wanders out into the main room as I forge deeper into the hallway*

*Runs past an interdimensional portal, a discarded weapon rack with a Radium Pistol and Taser Goad in it, several tons of semi-solidified butter, and a stone pillar decorated with yellow spirals*

*turns the radio back on*




I challenge you, Warboss Grukk!