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*pulls up a chair and watches the guardsmen get more and more uncomfortable*

This is great. Co'tor should join the corps.

OOC: Most of these stats are coming off as gibberish to me. I think that one of my first models I get should definitely be a Kroot, even though I've been eyeing the orks as my first army. Like I said though, I don't know enough about each army to know what I'm getting into.

*Strides through the line, attempting to not squish any guardsmen*

Poor guy. Hopefully we made him happy for at least a time...

*Looks at BC*

I don't know when you sleep, but please don't cancel any large downloads to your cerebral augmetic while you're sleeping, alright?

[Looks at Co'tor] Oh good grief. Fine. [Throws Co'tor a small vox walkie talky] Go see if you can find other residents of this room, and maybe, vox over when you do. Try not to.. Fall over anything sharp. [Motions to two guard to keep Co'tor safe]

[Leans on wall and smokes] "Fancy a change from front line service? We have this this easy deployment, just a research and colonise job. Nothing too-"
[Sidesteps and redirects Co'tor back in the opposite direction away from the wall]
"-stressful."

That's what they told you? No wonder why you agreed. Not many sane men would agree to stride in here and send away one of the inhabitants if they knew what was all here. I like the guts of it though. Yet again, I like almost anyone's guts.

*smiles at own joke*

Commissars don't need to be happy, you perplexing abomination, we need to be useful. Either way, I'm sure he's alive, in some form or other. Too much time and resources is channelled into commissars to simply dispose of us.

Are you actually threatening me? [Cocks head] Whether I'm here or not, this will happen. This is progress, fella. The warmaster for this sector wants this place worked over as a base of operations due to its unique storage capacity. [Looks at expansive ceiling] Personally I prefer sky...

[Looks at Blackjack] I didn't send him away... If it hadn't been me, it'd have been someone else, quite likely less sympathetic. [Sighs] [Straightens up and goes back to reading dataslate reports at they come in from the troops]


ooc: Time and resources is? Time and resources are? I gave myself a grammar headache.

Sorry Blackjack, but don't go Orks (or IG) for a first army. They look fun but they're "swarm" armies. To give you an idea, my 1000pt IG army is around fifty to sixty infantry, and they cost more in points than Orks. Start with an army where you need to field (and buy) less figures whilst you're learning... For one, it's very difficult to learn to control that many figures in one got... For two, you have no motivation to paint that many. And for three, wallet.
Spess Mehrines may be dull, but you can pick up a second hand batch to learn with for a few bucks, then decide if you like the game or not. I wish I had.

I don't know what else to call shoving someone into a van and then watching that van drive off... Well, I don't know what to call that in any nicer forms.

OOC: I could probably have some fun with marines, or at least test drive the game. Make sure my eyes aren't bigger than my wallet

[Rubs back of neck] 'Shoved' is a very harsh word for coerced... I at least gave him a lunch and reading material... [Slightly troubled expression]

[Reads new report] ...This can't be right, one of the troops has recorded seeing a Llama in the distance. And another swears blind something scuttling is in the ventilation system...
[Sighs again] Feth it, this is night-shift's problem. [Heads over to the sleeping quarters]

[Butter tank follows from a distance] ...You going to let me in? [Engine grumbles quietly] ..Fair enough, come on, then.
[Tank spins on the spot and settles down next to sleeping quarters] G'night, tank. [Heads into building]

*stumbles around room carefully scanning and examining every piece of furniture and bit of junk, blurrely recording them in a large leather notebook*

You see, this blue gentleman here must have embarked on his examination tour as a way of availing his intense boredom from having his television service cut off because his money left over from paying the rent wasn't enough to pay the license fee. You might call us a one trick party but it all comes down to one thing.

And now for my next trick, I'll annoy the person with the Bolt Pistol!

*Clears noospheric channel*

*Music* HELLO MY LADY, HELLO MY HONEY, HELLO MY RAGTIME GAL

I can speak in yellow now.
I'm going to have to drop the death ray, it's impeding my manufacturing capabilities.

Oi! Stop! You're clogging the channel! I don't want BC to suddenly have interference in his head instead of my music.

...Can I have the death ray?

*drops the Death Ray next to Verviedi*

There ya go.
Enjoy!

If you want to marry that death ray, I'll let you marry it.

*Drone picks up the death ray and fixes it to my arm, on top of a plasma cannon*

*Looks at SYL*

...The death ray would probably reject me.

OOC: For Codex: Avatar Room. Ezri Dax, HQ Unit.
WS: 4 BS: 4 S: 4 T: 3 W: 2 I: 10 A: 3 Ld: 9 Sv: 4+
Reinforcements: Can call for reinforcements from Defiant every turn. Makes a 5 man tactical squad with phaser rifles
CRASSUS ARMOURED ASSAULT TRANSPORT: Can flatten things with her CRASSUS ARMOURED ASSAULT TRANSPORT.
Phaser has the following stats
Range: 12" S: 6 AP: 2 Type: Assault 1
Phaser rifle has the following stats
Range: 24" S: 8 AP: 2 Type: Assault 3
Defiant Weapons: Can call for Orbital Bombardment from the Defiant in orbit.

Quantum Torpedoes: Range: Infinite S: Destroyer AP: 1 Type: Ordnance 2
Pulse Phasers: Range: Infinite S: Destroyer AP: 2 Type: Ordnance 2

What do you think?

[Strolls out of sleeping quarters cheerfully with mug of coffee] Morning all! Morning tank?
[Tank beeps and trundles away] Hmm...

[Checks reports] Well the men have rounded up quite a few stragglers, and Co'tor appears to have... itemised the entire room, sorted in order of colour and shape. That is... Impressive. If not very hard to make use of.

[Looks at Verviedi] Thanks for the alarm call, but really I can cope on my own. [Smiles and points to volume stud]

[A servant appears and announces the arrival of Yekaterína Alekséyevna the II, Empress and Autocrat of all the Russias]

Well, guess I'm not in Kansas anymorre.
[thinks]
Not that I have even been theree anyway, but what is this place?

And how can that man allow someone to marry a death ray? The Ortodox Church is verry clearr about marriage. What is a death rray anyway?

OOC: Eeeh, hi!, I'm jumping onto this thread, just because I can, I wont hold any responsibilities regarding injuries, death, torture or whatever happens to you all. I have also been stalking this thread closely for a while so I know most of what's happening here. Unlike my avatar, which means problems will ensue.

What the hell is that?
Haiya!

OOC: Sup

*wanders in from workshop, strangely cheerful and not hungover-y*


Good morning!

Hello strange human. Care to have some lunch?

*offers a conscript's arm*

Good morning, Russian Person! I am your friendly local Artificial Intelli-

++McAfee - Free Trial Expired! Buy full version?++

-gence...

*Every single augmented person in the room suddenly twitches a bit*

OOC: I'd say a Lasgun makes a Phaser look like a joke. Remember that this is a setting where automatic rocket launchers are S4 AP5. Phasers have definitely been given a plot-dependent power level throughout the series, but judging by their effect on Borg, I'd say a Phaser would be S3 AP5 Assault 2 Range 12", a Phaser Rifle would be S4 AP5 Assault 2 Range 24", and a Pulse Phaser would be S8 AP3 Ordnance 2.

[to Co'Tor]
Why arre you blue?
[talking to no one in particular]
These serfs, they drrink so much they get blue.

[looking at cube]
This talks?

Hey little friend!
here, take this, he can be your... partner or whatever
[hands a rubik's cube to Selym]

Now, seeing as no nation seems to have colonised this place, I declare it part of Russia!

[at 2BlackJack1]
I'll pass, what are you supposed to be, some kind of Cossak savage?

[to Vervivedi]
What kind of abomination...!?!

An Artificial Intelligence? why would you need that unless you were really stupid? and if you were really stupid how would you create an Artificial Intelligence?

[can't hear the noosferic McAfee attacks]

Why is everybody twitching?

I wouldn't make claims like that around here so quickly. People that do that tend to not last long. They sure do keep morale up though.

*quickly glances towards the cooking halls that several Kroot are standing by*

 aldo wrote:
[looking at cube]
This talks?

Hey little friend!
here, take this, he can be your... partner or whatever
[hands a rubik's cube to Selym]

Now, seeing as no nation seems to have colonised this place, I declare it part of Russia!

Yes of course I talk, why wouldn't I?
I can float, too.

*The Cube hovers a few feet off the floor*

Suck it biped.
I'm claiming this land for Cubix!

Most impressive, does it work through some kind of magnetism?

[sits on top of Selym]

It is quite comfortable in here, now, my little geometrical friend, there is no need to fight over that, we are not cossacks to fight like dogs for a piece of meat, why don't we make an alliance?
We seem to be the only sorveigns in this place anyway.

[at 2BlackJack1]
What are your frriends cooking? smells good.
Keeping morale up? Suvorov knows about that, or that's what they tell me, I'm sorry to say that regrettably I was never thaught military matters, apparently young aristocrats don't need that.

Doesn't this place belong to the Imperium?

I think it mostly belongs to it'self. I can't think anybody trying to actually own the room would last very long.

*Remembers the messy fate of the Mail Inquisition*

Right...

*to aldo*

I use an electrostatic hover system.
It's like anti-grav without actually manipulating gravity. I'm not quite there yet, technologically.