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 Selym wrote:

 KaptinBadrukk wrote:
OOC: I want to create a story of USS Voyager VS the Orks. Suggestions for how that should go?

OOC: USS Voyager gets attacked by space pirates, and is somehow forced into a suspicious hole in the universe. After a brief but trippy passage through the warp, they exit near an Ork-infested planet. I only have a cursory knowledge of the Star Trek(?) universe, so I don't have any details for ya.

OOC: I like it. Thanks.

OOC: Yw

Somebody asked me to explain how I came up with the idea of a sentient race of cubes...

[Blows whistle for dinner] [Troops stop building and congregate in pre-fab mess hall]

[Looks at canteen food] ...I guess we used up most of the budget on weaponry, eh?
[General grumbling from assembled groups] Fine, fine. I'll fix it. I guess today we'll do a pizza order. Just this once.

[Voxes for nine hundred pizzas and quite a lot of dipping sauce] ...I'm not covering the tip on this.

Got it!
These Cube-Pawns now have "Nanocube Disassemblers". They fire clouds of tiny cubes, which can dissassemble almost anything.
They're not very efficient though.
Works best en masse.

*The Cube begins scanning every man in line for food*

Interesting...
Very interesting...

*Falls over and rolls into the mess building*

I think I'm getting the hang of being a quadreped!

*Is happily chatting with conscripts*

*appears to be very drunk*

*wanders up to BC*


I do-do-doin't know wha' chew' h-h-humanss put in yo're wa'ter, but 's good.

*trips and falls*

Ouwwsh...

*scans Co'tor*

Ah, I see.
No I don't... Wait. Got it.

[Hauls up Co'tor] [Sighs] It's not water if you can smell it, fella. [Sniffs] And that smells like jet fuel grade moonshine. [Glares at troops who shuffle their feet]

[Sits Co'tor in a spinny chair and gets a medic to fit a hydration drip stand] You are going to have such a hangover.

[Pizza order arrives] [Whistles] Alright, guys. Form a bucket chain. Err, a pizza-chain. [Facepalms]

Washyoumean? I'not hang on anythin'.

*attempts to coax over nearby drone*

*The Cube dismantles the drone*

[Puts hand on Co'tor's shoulder to prevent him tipping out of the chair, whilst fitting the drip]

The 'water' you drank, in a few hours, will make you much less... Watery. And it'll hurt up here. [Taps Co'tor on the head]

Hey, shtop that! Leev my Dronsh alone!

[Uses a broom to shoo the cube out of the canteen] You can come back if you can avoid upsetting people.

[Sits and eats pizza] Cheerf! Thiff iff where your Imperial takffes go. [Swallows] If you were paying any...

*The Cube flies back out of the canteen, and begins flinging nanocubes at the building, steadily removing the roof*

So you're about to create a....

*Drone flies some sunglasses over and puts them on my "face"*

...Topless bar!

 Verviedi wrote:
So you're about to create a....

*Drone flies some sunglasses over and puts them on my "face"*

...Topless bar!

OOC:

[Looks up] Come down here and pack that in right now and you have have pizza, and a go in the spinny chair.

Alright, front foot forward, back foot forward....

*Scuttles over to BC slowly*

What were you saying?

[Dusts crumbs off shirt and wipes hands on napkin] When? I mean right now, I was talking about appropriate use of tax..?

Also wouldn't it be easier if you regarded it as arms and legs instead of four legs?

*finishes consuming the roof*

Nutritious.
What were you saying down there? It got lost in all the prefab slates.

So the cube just ate the roof?

I can't actually get upset that anyone ate the roof off a building that was already indoors...
It mostly begs the question of why it existed to begin with. [Looks at company command, who shrug]

When you guys are done eating, I guess the rest of the barracks needs finishing, and then we can get on with, you know, the whole purging of the area and making the enemies of mankind weep, thing.
[Hiccups] If we're not in a food coma.

*Blasts cubes on roof with psionic storm. Several stray bolts zap some unlucky conscripts.*

"Sorry about that."

*Turns to cube, places hands on hips*

"Stop bothering the Terrans! Can't you see that their lives are miserable already if they have to have poisonous substances to have fun?"

OOC: For Codex: Avatar Room. Lord of War: High Templar ZergSmasher
WS BS S T W I A Ld Sv Unit Type
6 5 4 4 4 6 4 10 3+ Infantry (Character)
Wargear:
Protoss Armor: 3+ Armor Save
Protoss Shield Generator: 4+ Invulnerable Save
2x Psionic Blades: Strength +1 AP2 Melee, Fleshbane, Armorbane, Force
Khaydarin Amulet: Reroll Psychic Tests; Immune to Perils of the Warp
Special Rules:
Psyker (Mastery Level 3)
Eternal Warrior
Fearless
Psychic Powers:
Psionic Storm: Warp Charge 2: Witchfire: Large Blast: S6 AP4 Soul Blaze
Protoss Illusion: Warp Charge 1: Blessing: Units targeting ZergSmasher with a shooting attack must roll a d6: on a 1-3, their shooting attack is lost for the turn. On a 4-6, resolve the attack normally.
Probably a seriously OP character. Immune to Perils because his powers do not come from the Warp. Cost should probably be 300-400 points.

*walks away from command deck, and slings one of the charred conscripts over a shoulder*

The command was more tolerant than I would have imagined. Reminds me of an old running buddy.

At least you know they were definitely listening. You certainly have that advantage over the rest of us humans.

Let me guess, they imparted to you the ancient and well-guarded secret of stand in neat lines in a grid and fire at the enemy. Adapted over the years from sling enough gak at the wall and some will eventually stick.
[Entirely unclear how much of this is sarcasm]

 ZergSmasher wrote:
*Blasts cubes on roof with psionic storm. Several stray bolts zap some unlucky conscripts.*

"Sorry about that."

*Turns to cube, places hands on hips*

"Stop bothering the Terrans! Can't you see that their lives are miserable already if they have to have poisonous substances to have fun?"

OOC: For Codex: Avatar Room. Lord of War: High Templar ZergSmasher
WS BS S T W I A Ld Sv Unit Type
6 5 4 4 4 6 4 10 3+ Infantry (Character)
Wargear:
Protoss Armor: 3+ Armor Save
Protoss Shield Generator: 4+ Invulnerable Save
2x Psionic Blades: Strength +1 AP2 Melee, Fleshbane, Armorbane, Force
Khaydarin Amulet: Reroll Psychic Tests; Immune to Perils of the Warp
Special Rules:
Psyker (Mastery Level 3)
Eternal Warrior
Fearless
Psychic Powers:
Psionic Storm: Warp Charge 2: Witchfire: Large Blast: S6 AP4 Soul Blaze
Protoss Illusion: Warp Charge 1: Blessing: Units targeting ZergSmasher with a shooting attack must roll a d6: on a 1-3, their shooting attack is lost for the turn. On a 4-6, resolve the attack normally.
Probably a seriously OP character. Immune to Perils because his powers do not come from the Warp. Cost should probably be 300-400 points.

OOC: For Codex: Avatar Room. Ezri Dax, HQ Unit.
WS: 4 BS: 4 S: 4 T: 3 W: 2 I: 10 A: 3 Ld: 9 Sv: 4+
Can call for reinforcements from Defiant every turn. Makes a 5 man tactical squad with phaser rifles
Can flatten things with her CRASSUS ARMOURED ASSAULT TRANSPORT.

Did I miss anything?

Sadly that doesn't work. My "arms" are actually on the drone. You know, I wonder what your predecessor is up to?

OOC:

You sound a bit upset about something. Care to have a snack?

*innocently offers a chunk of a conscript*

As far as I know, he's busy getting rather intimate with the Commissariat's Inquisitor. Maybe HQ rendered him down for the fancy augmetics you mentioned. Maybe he's simply being re-trained. Or maybe he's just on vacation. [Jazzhands] What a mystery.
...It's not that last one. [Coughs]

[Stands up and stretches] Time to go do a thing, I guess.
[Whistles again] [Guard start to assemble outside the building] Form up, and then get out there and round up any remaining inhabitants of territory... room... place.. Contain, incapacitate, but for feth's sake don't kill anyone unless you really have to.
[Snaps fingers] Get to it, then.


ooc:

*rather drunkenly forms up with the gaurd, the surrounding gaurdsmen seeming unsure of what to do*