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 zombiekila707 wrote:

 Selym wrote:

 aldo wrote:

Amaaaazing, little friend, you appearr to be a... thing of science, and I've always had a weakness for scientists.
Why don't we... partition the galaxy? I did that with Poland and everybody seemed happy.

Minus the Poles, that is.

But gravity? You are manipulating Newton's laws? Can you teach me how?

I'm not able to do it yet, but I'll be turning the Higgs Boson into my personal bitch in a few hours' time.
Teaching you may take a while. My processing power is beyond that of your entire species, and it's taken me three days to get this far...

At least the cube hasn't changed...except everything he says is... yellow..

*Walks over and pats cube*

How you doin cube? Bludgeon a mutie to death today?

I can't tell one biped from another half the time, how am I supposed to identify a "mutie"?
Probably.

 Verviedi wrote:
*Portion of my Greater AI slides into the cube's inner workings*

...OW! FETH! THAT BURNS!

...Slightly better....

What the hell is going in in your mind, Selym? It's like I can't read it...

You're running Windows 40,000. I'm surprised you can even read your own data.
My OS isn't compatible. Neither is my hardware. Also, I'm a quantum computer.
And my computing doesn't run in binary anymore.
I have a better system - it's based on the shape of a cube.

 Buttery Commissar wrote:

zombiekila707 wrote:About damn time! This mutie infestation was getting out of hand *Enclave scientists coughs* Well if you need anything from the Enclave please don't hesitate to ask!

KaptinBadrukk wrote:Right. The future is what matters.

Hah! I like these two. They get what we're trying to achieve here. It's not all about executions and revolution! It's about paving the way for a future where these things aren't necessary.

[Stretches] I guess I should start doing my parts as well. [Wanders to the armoury]

Don't do anything to my CRASSUS ARMOURED ASSAULT TRANSPORT.

[Looks over shoulder and laughs] Your CRASSUS ARMOURED ASSAULT TRANSPORT?
For one, that is a valuable piece of Imperial property, and for two, that cube absorbed it already.

Now cease your nonsense before I lose my remaining good humour and have you conscripted into a penal legion.

[Sound of crates being shifted]

Oh bugger.
Well this went sideways.
I told me I shouldn't do it!
Hey, guys? Do you mind if a few 4th dimensional cubes fall through reality?
I think I broke physics.
It's no big deal, really. But their mass is enough to crush you right out of reality.
And I have no way of predicting when and where they will appear.
If you see any, let me know, would ya? They look like this:

*beams a message into everyone's brains*

*Begins uploading a small piece of code into Selym*

I thought I was running Windows 95! That's odd...

[Emerges wielding a portable multi-melta and power pack, with a power-fist replacing his metal limb]

[Rolls shoulders] I believe you said something about durability. In which case this oughtn't be an issue. [Walks forward, firing at Verviedi] Call it scientific curiosity. Or murder. I'm not inclined to care too much.

*grabs a servo-skull and plugs it into the workshop mainframe*

Call this insurance. I like Vervi'.

*activates workshop lock-down, armour plating and shielding slamming down*

Eeeh... guys, what's happening?

Diplomacy. [Grins]

*First melta shot collapses my shields, and the second one damages one of my legs*

You BASTARD!

*Shifts attention back to my primary form*

*Walks back from BC, firing my weapons at his feet*

++You should not have done that.++

*The swarm of servo-skulls engulfs BC, with one try to cram itself down his throat*

Sorry Verv, he's promised Kroot a nice paycheck for this.

*orders Kroot to battle and starts shooting at the servo skulls*

[To Kroot] No! The Knarlocs go away from the guardsmen! They're our allies!

[Hits the deck]

[Erratic lasgun fire starts raining in] [Covers head with hands] Guardsmen! Focus on the fething robot!

[Momentarily uncomfortably intimate moment with a servo skull] Mrrff…! [Crushes it with power fist] ... . ..

[Continues attempting to fire]

*Tide of random servo-skulls armed with digital needlers begin shooting at the Guardsmen and Kroot*

++How could you do this?!++

*BC's power fist begins involuntarily spasming and rotating quickly*

[Guardsmen start flipping metal tables and furniture to provide cover for themselves and the Kroot]

It's my fething duty. It is the will of the Imperium and by extension the God-Emperor, that we bring-

What in the Hell? Ow! [Drops power fist coupling and disconnects] [Growls and uses floor to steady shots at Verviedi] Distractions and trickery!

*watches with interest*

Well, now that we have that backup, Vervi should be fine if his body is destroyed, blackjack is the most survivable kroot in existence, and I don't much like this new commissar. So I just get to enjoy it!

*drones start placing bets*

*Rears up on two legs and smashes front legs into BC while firing weapons at the Kroot and Guardsmen*

*Takes a lascannon to the face, blowing off a ranged weapon*

*Points death ray at BC*

And now cometh your death...

Ha irony!

*takes Aldos hand and leads away from carnage*

My dear what we have here is a battle between a psychopathic robot and a psychopathic commissar... the most you can do is watch...

*Enclave soldier walks up with a cigar box and some Brandy*

Would you care for a cigar? Or some Brandy?

*Sees Co'tor*

Gash face get over here haven't seen you all day! Cigar?

 Co'tor Shas wrote:
*watches with interest*

Well, now that we have that backup, Vervi should be fine if his body is destroyed, blackjack is the most survivable kroot in existence, and I don't much like this new commissar. So I just get to enjoy it!

*drones start placing bets*

What? And I was nothing but nice to you! ...As nice as I'm technically allowed to be. I even let you sit in the spinny-chair.
[Wistful] I don't get to sit in the spinny-chair.

ooc: I really am a very slow typer when I'm tired.

*orders a volley of grenades be fired at Verviedi*

No hard feelings right? Money is money, after all. Plus think of how much food there's going to be after this!

*a cheer rises up from the Kroot*

You do realize that there are no edible portions in this body, correct?

*Continues pointing death ray at BC*

Call off your men, and I may let you live. Or else, I will turn you into a Servitor while you are still concious.

[Attempts to aim multi-melta upwards, one-armed] Go to Hell! [Coughing]

[Butter Tank crashes through wall] N-no, don't get involved!

*Plants damaged leg on BC's torso*

I have seen hell multiple times, and it is nothing.

We aren't really picky with where the food is coming from. I was talking about the guardsmen more than anything else. It's just that I was hoping to give the Kroot a better chance of being hired, and finding parts of the Imperium willing to do so is the way to go.

Plus, it was a little funny to see the men's reactions to the knarlocs.

[Drops multi-melta, swearing, and tries to pull free] You are a fething monstrosity.

[Tank turret tracks back and forth between Verviedi and BC in confusion] [Panicked beeps]

...Everything is fine. [Raises hand] See? Fine. No need for t-tank intervention for either of us.

Tell it that we're fine.

Hey butter tank, why don't you run and play with the knarlocs?

*gestures over to two knarlocs using the command deck as a backscratcher*

*A servo-skull suddenly bursts forward and turns it's anti-grav off, rolling across the floor*

*The butter-tank chases it, beeping excitedly*

Me? A monstrosity? How so?

*Adjusts weight to BC's sternum*

*leanss down looking a BC*
You may have been nice-ish to me, but you have been very mean to my friends. You seem not to understand what you have gotten yourself into. You see, Vervi isn't actually a physical being anymore. Functionally speaking, he's true AI. He's almost impossible to kill.

[Starts turning faintly blue from lack of oxygen]
[Growls] ...Either kiss me, or get off me, in either case I'm still going to ruin your day.

You have entirely lost sight of what it is to be human. That in itself makes you a monster... Actively fighting imperial forces and killing the soldiers who fight for Holy Terra makes you a traitor.

 Verviedi wrote:
*A servo-skull suddenly bursts forward and turns it's anti-grav off, rolling across the floor*

*The butter-tank chases it, beeping excitedly*

Me? A monstrosity? How so?

*Adjusts weight to BC's sternum*

My lady I must go save the buttery one! *Runs at V*

*Smashes Verviedi off Buttery Commissar*

I can answer that! Your an AI! That's gone utterly rampant and self centered! Luckly the Enclave deals with your kind once in awhile *Slices head with End Boss Knife* You wouldn't believe this but a AI once though he was president hilarious I tell you!

*Grabs Verviedi lifts off ground and slams on the floor and stands on verviedis shattered remains staring at the hordes of servo skulls*

I CAME HERE TO KICKASS AND CHEW BUBBLE GUM.... AND IM ALL OUT OF BUBBLE GUM!
OOC: Pretty sure the 14 foot Frank Horrigan could pick a protoss immortal but let me know if you think that is BS.

 Buttery Commissar wrote:
[Looks over shoulder and laughs] Your CRASSUS ARMOURED ASSAULT TRANSPORT?
For one, that is a valuable piece of Imperial property, and for two, that cube absorbed it already.

Now cease your nonsense before I lose my remaining good humour and have you conscripted into a penal legion.

[Sound of crates being shifted]

Was imperial property. The cube absorbed a cardboard cutout of the tank. The CRASSUS ARMOURED ASSAULT TRANSPORT is mine.