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Co'tor Shas wrote:*jerks hand back, and then tentatively puts it back*
*runs fingers over fur and smiles*

*Murray purrs*

You're free to look. I think I need to lie down in the corner and eat something.

*opens up the mailbox*
Let's see here. We got

Butter Monthly
Mechanicus Monthly
Some sort of saw
Butcher Weekly
5 pounds of Butter
A Heavy Bolter
and a bag full of assorted ads.

[Looks concerned] You okay, v? What happened?

Aces! [Takes butter into tank's chiller unit]

[Rummages through mailbox] Junk mail, junk mail, blackmail, copy of Nuns with Guns... [Hands it to War Kitten]
Ahah! Hat catalogue of the month. [Happy] [Sits on sofa]

*sits murray on lap and continues petting happily*

[Shows Co'tor how to dangle a string for Murray to play with]

How did I miss the rest of that stuff in the mailbox
*shrugs*
*sits down and opens the nuns with guns magazine*

Same way I keep a miscellany of things under my hat. Cartoon physics.

[Card falls out of catalogue] Oh! An appointment reminder card for the dentist. [Checks Chrono] Oh feth, in half an hour?

[Runs and quickly brushes teeth] You know the funny thing is, I usually remember this stuff, it's part of why they let me be a Commissar.
...I also don't remember registering with a dentist. [Scratches head]

*Door opens I walk in as I walk in I am flanked by tempestus scions*

*Pulls out cigar and lights it and stares around the room.*

*Scion slowly fan out around the room as two new figures flank me one wearing a strange looking skull mask with a large cannon attached to the right side of her face. The other figure appears to be a old man with a vest*

*puffs cigar and stares around the room in utter silence when suddenly*

Ultramarine... you better have a good reason for being in here...

I think I have somewhere to be. [Rubs neck and makes to leave]

*grabs the saw and Butcher's Weekly*

Hmm, those twin knives should come in soon. In the meantime, I can use this saw for cutting meats and the odd use if a bargaining chip.

I actually have no idea how I got here. I turned around a corner back at Macragge and wound up here. So how are you today Inquisitor?

...The Mail Inquisition again?!

*Prepares to warp jump away*

I don't think he's Mail Inquisition. I think he's just regular Inquisiton. Which is possibly better or worse, depending on how you view it.

Not good... *puffs cigar* Not good at all...

*Crusader blocks the way of the buttery commissar and motions him to take a seat*

I feel it should be mentioned that you are residing in a room of xenos and heretics... Not to mention *Stares coldly at Buttery Commissar* Traitors

*puffs cigar*

*shrugs*
Can't explain it. And how is BC a traitor exactly? He seems like quite the nice fellow. I think I recognize you now, didn't Lord Calgar run you over with a Rhino a few years ago?

Ooh! Ooh! Am I a heretic, a Xeno, or a Traitor?

*Is standing behind the crusader with every finger turned into a foot long dagger*

*Murray hides at the sight of Verviedi*

Whoa, Verviedi! How the heck did you get those fangs?

[Holds up card] Can I be excused? I have a dental appointment.


...That I don't remember booking.
[Lightbulb flickers on] That lady inquisitor was going to try and shoot me again, wasn't she. [Looks dejected]

++ He can be taught. ++ [Bionic arm pats own shoulder gently]

Obviously not or I would be dead... is there a enslaver inside you or something? I think you were probably kicked out of the ultramarines because you sound like a insolent fool and now you find company with xenos and other heretical things.

* A wall burst open and a group of eversor assassins peer into the room*

*Stands up yelling at eversors* NOT YET WAIT TILL I TELL YOU! *Eversors slowly back out of room*

*looks contemplative*
No, I'm pretty sure we ran you over a few years ago, as for the other thing, I wasn't kicked out of the Ultramarines, as I told you already, I turned a corner and wound up here. You're just refusing to listen.
*sees the assassins*
Oh, you brought the maniacs. Cute.
*begins tinkering with datapad*

 Verviedi wrote:
Ooh! Ooh! Am I a heretic, a Xeno, or a Traitor?

*Is standing behind the crusader with every finger turned into a foot long dagger*

*Grey knight librarian invisibility wears off*

Your just annoying *Nods to librarian who opens a vortex of doom sucking verviedi to oblivion* I am sure that abomination will show up... Its in our reports from Rick Sanchez...

Lets just say what he told me about this place and all of you seems to be the only good thing he has ever done that wasn't for his own selfish gain.

*Looks around* I expect that robot creature to be back by now? Pity...

*pulls Verviedi out of the way of the vortex*
*looks sternly at the librarian*
That wasn't very nice brother, why don't you go off and fight some demons? Maybe kill a few innocent guardsmen while you're at it?
*librarian looks ashamed and walks off*
*To ZS*
Would you stop rambling? You're making my head hurt
*begins tapping on datapad*

 War Kitten wrote:
*looks contemplative*
No, I'm pretty sure we ran you over a few years ago, as for the other thing, I wasn't kicked out of the Ultramarines, as I told you already, I turned a corner and wound up here. You're just refusing to listen.
*sees the assassins*
Oh, you brought the maniacs. Cute.
*begins tinkering with datapad*

Oh Them... They are just here because evidently the head of the eversor temple has some issue with some of the folks in here... Also managed to get a couple companies of grey knights, all of mars they were pissed about something, Salamanders they are also here... Same story as the eversors... Oh and the space wolves! Almost forgot those furry bastards! And of course the whole Inquisitorial fleet going up in smoke brought me and my associates here!

They all for one reason or another want this room and everyone in it ....dead!

*Puffs cigar*

And that's! Why I wonder why any sane astartes would be here!

*Librarian ignores Ultramarine*

Oh and Verviedi who has slaughtered hunreds of Loyal astartes and inquisitorial forces! Ultramarine you must be high you are literally surrounded by TRAITORS AND HERETICS!

Monstrosity? You're really going to need to be more specific.

[Snaps fingers and butter tank goes into lockdown] ... ... That isn't helpful when I'm outside it, is it? At least my socks are safe. [Facepalms]

I'm here because I don't exactly have much choice in the matter. In case you were too stupid to notice the room jumps around from planet to planet, and occasionally onto a moon. So far none of the planets we've landed on have been exactly "friendly" so to speak.
*waves to a salamander marine passing by the window*
Dang I haven't seen him in a few years, he was a good friend of mine. Dunno about the rest of the guys here, but I haven't done anything to irritate anyone here. Well, besides the Grey Knights. But they and the rest of us Astartes just don't get along anyway. So please get off of your high horse and realize that I'm pretty much stuck here until the room jumps to a friendly planet or I become an engineer and build myself a ship.

Oh and not to mention the fething daemon host who is Buttery Commissar who was supposed to be a leader and now resides in orgy chamber of slaanesh getting high and having sex! Yes he is a shining beacon of the emperor! Ultramarine frankly your a idiot! I am going to have to contact Macragge for a gene seed screening cause my god man are you blind!

*Old man in vest says* Lets just kill them and be done with it!

Well I have taken several severe blows to the head recently.
*nearly passes out*
Sorry about that, being ran over by a giant xeno and suffering severe internal injuries has made me a big foggy headed lately. What were we talking about?

I can't help that you fething Inquisition goons put a daemon in my head!

[Bionic hand covers mouth] Nnrrmmff!

++ Your sense of self preservation is astounding. ++

*Throws data slate at Ultramarine*

Read that! Goes over Verviedi and is machine heresy of creating himself into a AI which has rampaged around the universe doing evil gak like killing inquistors,killing imperial guard, killing salmanders, killing space wolves, the list goes fething on! Buttery Commissar Knows what he has done...

Kroot has eaten astartes but besides that mostly harmless... We have information on the new robot chick so we will just preseume tech heresy... And well the humans who come from the star trek demnsion are mostly harmless as well...

Wow all things considered only really to bad things in this room are Verviedi and Buttery Commissar... Most daemons have gone and the insane perpetual named thenoobbomb is not here. I guess the Crazy dragon is something of a concern. *Sits pondering*

Wait actually I have to do a favor for Rick..... Has anyone seen Morty? He is still missing...