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Ooc ok, she,s coming back.

Bic

*eye disapeers into thin air leaving a goodbye floating on the wind *

[Looks at bowl of cereal] [Very carefully puts a spoonful in mouth]

.. [Chews] ..!! [Spits out something quite similar to hot tar onto the floor]

[Hands bowl back] [Looks dejected]

*sits down on the couch and puts his head in his hands*
Feth.

[Hands WK and drink and swigs from bottle] What's up, fella?

 Buttery Commissar wrote:
[Hands WK and drink and swigs from bottle] What's up, fella?

Well. I just realized how fethed up my life is.

I'm a former prisoner of the Dark Eldar, my girlfriend is a zealous pyromaniac who considers it acceptable to brand me to keep others from trying to "claim" me. I may or not be possessed by a demon of Khorne. Khorne himself has made his mark on my soul, making me go into random battle rages where I want to kill everyting in sight. My best friends include a commissar who may or may not have a soul anymore, a potentially psychotic ex-tech priest, an Ork, a Kroot Shaper, a Protoss. I spend most of my days sitting around and wondering what sort of weird gak is going to come into the Room today. The Room itself seems to be semi-sentient and will randomly teleport us from planet to planet. I'm being hunted by the Inquisition whenever Marla isn't here, my own family has probably disowned me by now, and I'm STILL the Imperium's meatshield. My life is beyond fethed. Maybe I should have just stayed as an Administratrum drone, that way at least I would have a bit of stability in my life.

[Stops drinking] You may look at it this way.
Or, you could consider, you have found company. You have found affection. You are capable of asking questions and free thought. Each of these things is fairly rare in itself.
There is clearly purpose going forward. What that is, remains to be seen, but I wouldn't yet decide it's bad.

And marks can be removed, if there's one thing chaos understands, it's bargaining. [Looks rueful] Take it from me.

Hmm... What's going on here? Existential crises?
*Sticks probe in BC's mouth*
Mind taking another bite?

 Buttery Commissar wrote:
[Stops drinking] You may look at it this way.
Or, you could consider, you have found company. You have found affection. You are capable of asking questions and free thought. Each of these things is fairly rare in itself.
There is clearly purpose going forward. What that is, remains to be seen, but I wouldn't yet decide it's bad.

And marks can be removed, if there's one thing chaos understands, it's bargaining. [Looks rueful] Take it from me.

Oh. That reminds me. Thanks to that mark on my soul, I may or may not be invincible, and possibly immortal.

Maybe I should see if I can have it removed...

[Sighs and chews another mouthful of Imperial cereal]
[Gags and spits it out, getting more tar on the floor] [Habds the probe back carefully] It's because it's blessed. Albeit by the marketing department of the Ecclesiarchy.

[Looks at WK] Then perhaps there is a purpose for the invulnerability? You may yet find it before you remove it.

I wish I could say the same about a soulless commissar. That's just oxymoronic.

 Buttery Commissar wrote:
[Sighs and chews another mouthful of Imperial cereal]
[Gags and spits it out, getting more tar on the floor] [Habds the probe back carefully] It's because it's blessed. Albeit by the marketing department of the Ecclesiarchy.

[Looks at WK] Then perhaps there is a purpose for the invulnerability? You may yet find it before you remove it.

I wish I could say the same about a soulless commissar. That's just oxymoronic.

*shrugs*
Maybe there is, but I'm not enjoy the nearly constant desire to murder all of you and spill your blood. Also, the voices in my head telling me to bash your skull in with the nearest heavy object.

*Offended that WK sounded a bit unappreciative of having an Ork as a friend*

Count yer blessins, ya git. I krumped a whole zoggin' klan o' kans and deffdreads ta stop ya from gettin' stomped further den ya already were.

 KommissarKiln wrote:
*Offended that WK sounded a bit unappreciative of having an Ork as a friend*

Count yer blessins, ya git. I krumped a whole zoggin' klan o' kans and deffdreads ta stop ya from gettin' stomped further den ya already were.

You realize I'm invincible right? The worst I would have experienced is some mild discomfort. Seriously. I can't even feel pain anymore.

False. Ya may 'ave a roight tuff body fer a humie, but yer still all softie on da inside. Ya were just lamentin' ta us about how ya've been feelin' all dat emoshunal pain. *Drops choppa and slugga* If ya want ta fight or somefink ta git yer mind off it, I'd just love ta help ya out wif dat.

*Going full on Tylork Durden here*
C'mon, git, hit me. I want ya ta hit me as hard as ya can.

 KommissarKiln wrote:
False. Ya may 'ave a roight tuff body fer a humie, but yer still all softie on da inside. Ya were just lamentin' ta us about how ya've been feelin' all dat emoshunal pain. *Drops choppa and slugga* If ya want ta fight or somefink ta git yer mind off it, I'd just love ta help ya out wif dat.

*Going full on Tylork Durden here*
C'mon, git, hit me. I want ya ta hit me as hard as ya can.

Oh. You want me to hit you? Alright

*eyes begin glowing red*
*in a low voice*
I will rip out your heart and FEED IT TO YOU ORK!
*sucker punches Kiln across the Room, sending him flying into a wall*

*Winces in pain, stumbles around noticeably* Arrghh!! Oi, ya git!! Ya hit me in da ear!

*starts stalking towards Kiln*
You told me to hit you. So I did. And now I'm going to rip your heart out and feed it to the birds.

Alroight, ya've got a point there. *Removes shirt and boots, grapples WK and starts exchanging blows*

OoC: You are picking up on my references, right? I really hope so.

OOC: I am. I chuckled a little bit at that last one.

BIC:
*throws a haymaker at Kiln's head*
DIE GREENSKIN!

Hello, *looks round room* i came in via a forrest? whats going on, room shifted again?

*gets cup of tea and crashes on a sofa* hows things?

*Plugs the probe into a computer and waits*
Hmm... As soon as the cereal passed between your lips, it instantly transmuted into some oil-like substance. I'll have to test the properties of what it turns into. I wonder if that effect applies to every opening?

Your not hurting my good egg are you....

Otherwise I might have to make that shiny white armour, a tad less clean and more charred with brains splattered on the walls..

*continues to drink tea like asking about the weather.*

Hello, Sister. [Waves] I'd come closer, but it seems I'm fully damned now. Traded my soul to get us out from under exterminatus. Don't want to hurt you accidentally, as it seems by body violently reacts to holy materials.

 Verviedi wrote:
*Plugs the probe into a computer and waits*
Hmm... As soon as the cereal passed between your lips, it instantly transmuted into some oil-like substance. I'll have to test the properties of what it turns into. I wonder if that effect applies to every opening?

...You are not going to get to find out.
I think it was to make the cereal inedible. So probably not, as it can't be absorbed by other openings.

I'm not sure what it'd do to imperial music. [Shrugs]

Best not, my armour does incorporate a small part of a saints, it might reacty badly to you?

Ya know this !inda thing. Kinda why you have inquisition issues....

Tell me about it. I had to beat a Eversor Assassin to death with a toaster oven.

I was about to say that I feel the Inquisition would agree one soul justifies saving the rest, when I remembered they were the ones bombing us.

Also now I scare my own daughter, and I can't pray. So there's that. I miss my soul-

You did what to the toaster?!

I said, I beat that Eversor Assassin to death with a toaster.

[Agitated] [Runs to the kitchen]
You bastard! [Emerges cradling battered toaster] You dented her! After all the loyal service and toasted favours! [Very distressed]

... ... Ours is not a physical relationship. [Looks down at toaster mildly embarrassed]

*walks out of the Guard barracks yawning*
*sees Marla*
Oh feth.
*dives back into the barracks*

Sees wk diving into barracks..... Saw you, your not hiding very well behind a clear glass door.....

*waves and continues to drink tea*

*stands up*
Feth.
*whispers to self*
Don't tell her about the Orks...