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*Foot is moving in a decidedly unstable manner*
Would anyone here like to learn magic?
*Grabs a top hat and pulls a mini-Shoggoth out of it*

*shakes head*

I've been trying to reduce how much I use my own psychic abilites. It doesn't feel natural to use them, and take away the fun of the hunt for me.

*Sees WK* AH! My Guardsman Yujin! How goes the whole 'mortality' dealeo? Would you like to but a Angilian Lawn Chair? It comes with 32 cup holders! Far superior to that tasteless Wal-mart garbage *Sneers at WK's chair*

 Overlord Thraka wrote:
*Sees WK* AH! My Guardsman Yujin! How goes the whole 'mortality' dealeo? Would you like to but a Angilian Lawn Chair? It comes with 32 cup holders! Far superior to that tasteless Wal-mart garbage *Sneers at WK's chair*

Well. Dying was very painful, and made me really hope that I live to see 10,000 years or more. I've seen what's on the other side, it's not nice. Not at all.
*glances down at lawn chair*
You do realize I bought this from your store right?

Look at it this way. You'll likely be spawning more dangerous creatures as side effects of doing magic, than you'll be hunting normally.
Watch this.
*Suddenly holding a rock*
*A Hound Of Tindalos sticks its head out of a corner, and sticks its tongue out*
I-I suppose that illustrates my point. That wasn't intentional.
*Throws rock at the Hound, causing the rock to quickly get shredded, and the Hound to vanish, all time travelers having been dealt with*
*Picks up the same rock from this time, speaks a word of power, and it vanishes back in time to several seconds ago*

 War Kitten wrote:

 Overlord Thraka wrote:
*Sees WK* AH! My Guardsman Yujin! How goes the whole 'mortality' dealeo? Would you like to but a Angilian Lawn Chair? It comes with 32 cup holders! Far superior to that tasteless Wal-mart garbage *Sneers at WK's chair*

Well. Dying was very painful, and made me really hope that I live to see 10,000 years or more. I've seen what's on the other side, it's not nice. Not at all.
*glances down at lawn chair*
You do realize I bought this from your store right?

WHAT?!! RAAAA!!!

*Ra peers around the door timidly*

Ra: "Yessir?"

Where did we pick up a shipment of chairs like these?

Ra: "Centauri IV"

I knew it! Those Centaurs are renowned for shoddy craftmanship. I expected better of you Ra!

*Turns to WK*
If you would like I'm offering you both a position in Ork mart and a better chair than that Centauri pile of stiks

*Several loud noises are heard coming from the Scorpion tank*

Ow.

*Pokes head out of hatch*

Boop.

*Rotates on the spot*

Boop.

*Rotates back*

Boop.

*Grins at occupants of room*

ERM A SUBMARINE!

*Climbs out of tank*

*Gives Vanden a utterly confused look then turns to WK*

Brain damage or alcohol?

And why would I want to summon dangerous creatures, they seem to have a knack for attacking me and my friends. Although the idea of a familiar is tempting...

*looks at WK*

So, you wish for a longer lifespan? I can help with that. It wouldn't work for an extra ten thousand years, but it could increase it by a considerable amount.

 Overlord Thraka wrote:
*Gives Vanden a utterly confused look then turns to WK*

Brain damage or alcohol?

Probably a mix of the two.

As for the job. That depends, are you willing to take on the daughter of the High Fabricator of Mars? She kind of has first dibs on my free time

*Grumbles and pulls out pistol*

*Aims in at WK's head*

*Closes one eye and bites tongue*

Brain damage my ass...

*Shoots a glass a hundred metres away with pistol*

I had a bit to drink. So feth off.

*Has amazingly sobered up*

 2BlackJack1 wrote:
And why would I want to summon dangerous creatures, they seem to have a knack for attacking me and my friends. Although the idea of a familiar is tempting...

*looks at WK*

So, you wish for a longer lifespan? I can help with that. It wouldn't work for an extra ten thousand years, but it could increase it by a considerable amount.

I was just saying I did hope that I lived that long. I've seen what's on the other side, and I need all the time I can get to go atone for my (brief) fall to the Dark Gods.

*Gasps*

*Clutches head and falls to knees*

ARGH!

*Falls to ground clutching head*

OOC Now, I know what everybody is thinking. "Ugh not again, this attention whore is at it again." But! Fear not! I have a elaborate plan that can span for many many pages coming soon.

Aesculapius! (1st aid chief) Get over here! Vanden's injured!... I think...

*looks down at Vanden*
I see the hangover has kicked in.

*looks disappointed*

Everyone comes running for the hangover cure, but when it gets down to the witch doctor side of my medicinal practices, no one's willing to try.

*mutters quietly*
*sees Vanden fall to the ground*

Miss, can you hear me?

OOC: Whilst your character is rather unfortunate, and accident prone, I don't mind the common injuries. It keeps us on our toes.

 2BlackJack1 wrote:
*looks disappointed*

Everyone comes running for the hangover cure, but when it gets down to the witch doctor side of my medicinal practices, no one's willing to try.

*mutters quietly*
*sees Vanden fall to the ground*

Miss, can you hear me?

OOC: Whilst your character is rather unfortunate, and accident prone, I don't mind the common injuries. It keeps us on our toes.

I didn't say I didn't want an anti-aging cure. I'm just saying that death sucks.

Feth me! What happened last night? Last thing I remember is going to a bar on the other side of the planet and having a chat with a lovely guy, then I saw a tongue...And I can't remember anything else...

*Looks genuinly worried*

I need to get tested. I don't want anything to have happened whilst I was pissed off my head.

OOC Small loan of a million DOTA's anyone who gets this. It's pretty darn vague but maybe someone got it.

Good, I'll get the first part of the serum ready.

*walks towards a recently built hut*

And Amelia, that does sound like a genestealer cult on the rise, be wary.

 2BlackJack1 wrote:
Good, I'll get the first part of the serum ready.

*walks towards a recently built hut*

And Amelia, that does sound like a genestealer cult on the rise, be wary.

*watches 2BJ1 walk off*
By the Emperor... what did I just agree to?
*shrugs*
Oh well.
*hears Vanden*
*grabs flamer just in case*

 Sgt. Vanden wrote:
Feth me! What happened last night? Last thing I remember is going to a bar on the other side of the planet and having a chat with a lovely guy, then I saw a tongue...And I can't remember anything else...

*Looks genuinly worried*

I need to get tested. I don't want anything to have happened whilst I was ****ed off my head.

OOC Small loan of a million doto anyone who gets this. It's pretty darn vague but maybe someone got it.

There's a clinic about 2 miles thataway. Right next to the tupperware section
Aesculapius accompany the lady if you would

A: Certainly lord. Ave! *Gives Roman salute and walks up to Vanden (Amelia? Is that this characters name?) * Come with me m'lady I'll get you all fixed up

*Nods*

Genestealer cult?...

*Follows A*

OOC Feth you guys got that fast. Thats fething gak...

*smoke comes from the hut*
*the sounds of a bleating goat are quickly cut off*

OOC: I just watched Aliens not too long ago, and have been thinking about how a genestealer cult would go in the CoF, so the critters have been on my mind. Plus they're already one of my favorite aspects of 40k.

*still holding the flamer*

OOC: I made a mistake Aesculapius is the wrong guy. The correct character is the roman god-bird Caladrius. Just replace A with C in your minds please

 Overlord Thraka wrote:
OOC: I made a mistake Aesculapius is the wrong guy. The correct character is the roman god-bird Caladrius. Just replace A with C in your minds please

*looks around*
So, am I still being offered a job? I need something to do when I'm not dying for the God Emprah

*Puts hand over stomach*

I think I heard something about the cults...

*Unholsters pistol*

Anything happens, don't hesitate to use this.

 War Kitten wrote:

 Overlord Thraka wrote:
OOC: I made a mistake Aesculapius is the wrong guy. The correct character is the roman god-bird Caladrius. Just replace A with C in your minds please

*looks around*
So, am I still being offered a job? I need something to do when I'm not dying for the God Emprah

Well... you aren't a bird god-being, but I think we could use you somewhere. How about missions? Exploring the galaxy and hunting for bargins and rarities!?

 Overlord Thraka wrote:

 War Kitten wrote:

 Overlord Thraka wrote:
OOC: I made a mistake Aesculapius is the wrong guy. The correct character is the roman god-bird Caladrius. Just replace A with C in your minds please

*looks around*
So, am I still being offered a job? I need something to do when I'm not dying for the God Emprah

Well... you aren't a bird god-being, but I think we could use you somewhere. How about missions? Exploring the galaxy and hunting for bargins and rarities!?

You're the one who offered to employ me in the first place. But sure, why not? It's not like it's any more dangerous than being a meat shield for the Space Marines

*grumbles*
Fething Chaplain Iodius.

Excellent! Now then... I require you to go to Earth 616 and get me Doc Oc's tentacles so that Thoth may reverse engineer them. That is your task. You have 1 month starting today