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**hotsauceman1**

A new tank called "The Compensator" exists. It has a long turret with a bulbous....wait I think I made this joke before.
There are now Female guard rules. before the shooting roll a d6
1-The females are distacted by Clothes and Nails, may not do anything
2-5: Female guard get the "Preffered Enemy: Other women" and "Catfight" rule where if they charge another female unit they gain 3 attacks due to using their teeth and nails
6: Female guard gain "Hatred: Men" and may fire rapid fire then charge. Any male unit must pass a leadership test at minus 3 to do anything in combat or else the women yell at them

**Sasori**

hotsauceman1 wrote:
A new tank called "The Compensator" exists. It has a long turret with a bulbous....wait I think I made this joke before.
There are now Female guard rules. before the shooting roll a d6
1-The females are distacted by Clothes and Nails, may not do anything
2-5: Female guard get the "Preffered Enemy: Other women" and "Catfight" rule where if they charge another female unit they gain 3 attacks due to using their teeth and nails
6: Female guard gain "Hatred: Men" and may fire rapid fire then charge. Any male unit must pass a leadership test at minus 3 to do anything in combat or else the women yell at them

Having served with women in the military, I feel that this post is pretty disrespectful, even for a joke.

**Kosake**

Archeotech Relic: A skimmer/Antigrav option for Russ Battle Tanks, Baneblades and Chimeras for +15 points.

Also adds Plasma cannon that does not get hot.

**Kharn745**

The new stormtroopers will be one to a box at 30 dollars a model. This is due to having every weapon from every codex in the sprues, thus completely justifying their price. Their entry in the codex requires you to field them in squads of ten minimum.

**Frankenberry**

Drager wrote:
All imperial guardsmen now come with a pet cat. The new cat models will be priced at $50 for 10 and any guardsmen fielded without his cat is considered illegally modelled.

Pet cats benefit from the Look Out Sir! rule on a 2+ exactly as if they were independent characters. and have the following profile

WS:1, BS:1, S1, T1, A1, I4, LD2

If at the start of any phase a unit contains more guardsmen than pet cats the unit must test for What Happened to Fluffy!

What Happened to Fluffy!
The non cat model with the lowest leadership must make a morale check, if this is failed roll on the table below. Commisars may not be used to reroll this, they love Fluffy too.

1) Remove the unit as a casualty, they all run off to protect the remaining cats.

2) Remove all none officers as casualties. They have been given a personal day to mourn. All officers remain to shepherd the cats.

3) The entire unit gains Stupidity as they are awestruck by the loss of Fluffy

4) Nothing Happens

5) The entire unit gains Hatred for none cat units

6) Fluffy was the best of us, there is no reason to live any more. Remove all cats, they are killed to release them from the anguish. All guardsmen drop all ranged weapons and gain +1A, Feel No Pain, Rending, Fearless, Furious Charge, Adamantium Will and Fleet special rules.

Oh. My. God. You almost killed me, I was eating noodles and inhaled some because of laughter...seriously, I saw spots for awhile.

This wins the thread, period.

**carlos13th**

Orgyns can now use the dead corpse of a fellow guardsman as a club

All Lasguns are replaced with banana's

The new imperial guard knight will be a bunch of imperial guard doing their best cheerleader style pyramid.

GW stores will ask for your list when your purchase your models you will be chargerd £1 per point. It wont matter if your models are exactly the same as a lower costed list you will have to pay real money for extra wargear.

Automatically Appended Next Post:

tyrannosaurus wrote:
Sly Marbo is now a monstrous creature with 12 wounds and toughness 10, with two turbo laser destructors.

They are nerfing him then?

**rabidguineapig**

Lord Solar Macharius makes his grand return to the codex.

**Wakshaani**

Fast Attack will get a new sqaudron of medium tanks, 1-3 per squad, called the "Ildamat".

Armor 12/12/10, armed with a hull-mounted Heavy Bolter and a turreted Autocanon for the reasonable cost of 60 pts.

No one will care as it gets overshadowed by far more powerful broken models, leaving it to languish on shelves for months, untouched and unloved.

Forever alone.

**Paradigm**

Wakshaani wrote:
Fast Attack will get a new sqaudron of medium tanks, 1-3 per squad, called the "Ildamat".

Armor 12/12/10, armed with a hull-mounted Heavy Bolter and a turreted Autocanon for the reasonable cost of 60 pts.

No one will care as it gets overshadowed by far more powerful broken models, leaving it to languish on shelves for months, untouched and unloved.

Forever alone.

I'd actually want and use this, it sounds pretty good for the cost.

**MrMoustaffa**

Paradigm wrote:
Wakshaani wrote:
Fast Attack will get a new sqaudron of medium tanks, 1-3 per squad, called the "Ildamat".

Armor 12/12/10, armed with a hull-mounted Heavy Bolter and a turreted Autocanon for the reasonable cost of 60 pts.

No one will care as it gets overshadowed by far more powerful broken models, leaving it to languish on shelves for months, untouched and unloved.

Forever alone.

I'd actually want and use this, it sounds pretty good for the cost.

You can get the same thing already by using a FW Chimera with a turret autocannon. It even costs the same.

**Paradigm**

MrMoustaffa wrote:
Paradigm wrote:
Wakshaani wrote:
Fast Attack will get a new sqaudron of medium tanks, 1-3 per squad, called the "Ildamat".

Armor 12/12/10, armed with a hull-mounted Heavy Bolter and a turreted Autocanon for the reasonable cost of 60 pts.

No one will care as it gets overshadowed by far more powerful broken models, leaving it to languish on shelves for months, untouched and unloved.

Forever alone.

I'd actually want and use this, it sounds pretty good for the cost.

You can get the same thing already by using a FW Chimera with a turret autocannon. It even costs the same.

That's very true, but you don't get side 12 armour (something I'd happily trade Transport Capacity for). And Squadroning them. Being able to add more cheap AV12 to a mech list without having to by more vets would be cool. Basically, they'd be the long-range equivalent of a Hellhound, maybe with a Lascannon option as a Devil Dog equivalent.

So yeah, it's almost doable, but there are a few tricks that would be nice to have.

**hotsauceman1**

Sasori wrote:
hotsauceman1 wrote:
A new tank called "The Compensator" exists. It has a long turret with a bulbous....wait I think I made this joke before.
There are now Female guard rules. before the shooting roll a d6
1-The females are distacted by Clothes and Nails, may not do anything
2-5: Female guard get the "Preffered Enemy: Other women" and "Catfight" rule where if they charge another female unit they gain 3 attacks due to using their teeth and nails
6: Female guard gain "Hatred: Men" and may fire rapid fire then charge. Any male unit must pass a leadership test at minus 3 to do anything in combat or else the women yell at them

Having served with women in the military, I feel that this post is pretty disrespectful, even for a joke.

Sensitive a bit much?

**Kroothawk**

Baneblade is in.

**Thatguyhsagun**

Sentinels are renamed, The New All-Terrain Single Transport, or ATST for short, will be highly mobile and include more options for customization. They will all be "armored" and come with fuzzy Ratlings to include as scenery.

**cormadepanda**

The Vendetta will be put to a heavy support slot. Rough Riders will be T4 and have the choice of beast or bike.

**jifel**

Knight Titans will not be in the codex. The "Big sized vehicle" is made up. In fact, there will be a total of one new unit.. New kits include the Ogryns and Veterans/Stormtroopers and a Hydra + Variant (new unit) that has a Haywire effect. There is no new Clamshell, and the limited edition cover will have a Steel Legion soldier, duping everyone who doesn't realize there are no new Greatcoat models.

D-Weapons still do not make it into the game. Vendettas are priced into overshadowed mediocrity in the FA slot once people realize how broken the Hydra variant is. Leman Russ become a slightly improved unit.

**Wakshaani**

Paradigm wrote:
Wakshaani wrote:
Fast Attack will get a new sqaudron of medium tanks, 1-3 per squad, called the "Ildamat".

Armor 12/12/10, armed with a hull-mounted Heavy Bolter and a turreted Autocanon for the reasonable cost of 60 pts.

No one will care as it gets overshadowed by far more powerful broken models, leaving it to languish on shelves for months, untouched and unloved.

Forever alone.

I'd actually want and use this, it sounds pretty good for the cost.

And now you see why the made-up rumor ends on such a sad note.

**squidhills**

Plastic kits for each of the "flavored" IG armies (Mordian, Tallarn, Valhalla, etc)..

IG will get revised Elite choices that are actually better than existing Troops, Fast Attack, or Heavy choices, requiring players to actually drop some other units to take advantage of the new OPness of the Elite section. Sadly, Stormtroopers still won't be as good as meltavets.

The Leman Russ tank will be able to shoot all of its weapons at normal BS and normal scatter on ordnance if it stands still, all at normal BS and ordnance at double scatter if it moves, and all weapons at BS1 and triple scatter for ordnance if it has been destroyed.

**Quintinus**

hotsauceman1 wrote:
A new tank called "The Compensator" exists. It has a long turret with a bulbous....wait I think I made this joke before.

And it wasn't funny the first time either

There are now Female guard rules. before the shooting roll a d6
1-The females are distacted by Clothes and Nails, may not do anything
2-5: Female guard get the "Preffered Enemy: Other women" and "Catfight" rule where if they charge another female unit they gain 3 attacks due to using their teeth and nails
6: Female guard gain "Hatred: Men" and may fire rapid fire then charge. Any male unit must pass a leadership test at minus 3 to do anything in combat or else the women yell at them

News at 11, guy with My Little Pony avatar posts the most awkward and hamfisted joke about women that Dakkanauts have ever had the misfortune to read

By the way, just talked to one of my good friends who is a manager at a GW; here's what I've got:

-Guard are now subject to "order range". That means that they must be within 12" of an officer or they have to take a LD test. If they don't you have to roll on a D66 table (which I am told requires a flowchart because some results have sub-tables)
-Vendettas become 200 points and Veterans become 15 points each and lose access to plasma guns. Expect Peregrine to be put on suicide watch.
-Imperial Knight Titans are in!
-The "Summer of Guard" is sure to be a big hit and has been created to revive flagging stock prices
-The page with Marbo on it has been reduced to a microscopic font and hidden at random in each codex

**Sasori**

hotsauceman1 wrote:
Sasori wrote:
hotsauceman1 wrote:
A new tank called "The Compensator" exists. It has a long turret with a bulbous....wait I think I made this joke before.
There are now Female guard rules. before the shooting roll a d6
1-The females are distacted by Clothes and Nails, may not do anything
2-5: Female guard get the "Preffered Enemy: Other women" and "Catfight" rule where if they charge another female unit they gain 3 attacks due to using their teeth and nails
6: Female guard gain "Hatred: Men" and may fire rapid fire then charge. Any male unit must pass a leadership test at minus 3 to do anything in combat or else the women yell at them

Having served with women in the military, I feel that this post is pretty disrespectful, even for a joke.

Sensitive a bit much?

No, I'm not at all. Your joke is just completely disrespectful, and is not funny at all. It's just in poor taste, and shows that you really have no clue.

News at 11, guy with My Little Pony avatar posts the most awkward and hamfisted joke about women that Dakkanauts have ever had the misfortune to read

Yeah, no kidding right...

**RegulusBlack**

Vehicles will come standard with a Remote Audio Dispersment Integrated Object.....or R.A.D.I.O. for short, this allows orders to be executed by the receiving squad inside those big noisy Chimera's...

New Orders from CCS: Ticklefight - Guard units without power weapons, or meltabombs engaging in melee with any unit may immediately be removed as a casualty... saving you a considerable amount of time.

Chimera's purchased by Veterans will have 15 point upgrade "Sweet Ride Dude", Chimera is then considred open topped for assault purposes only.

Squats are in as allies...

**avedominusnox**

Jidmah wrote:
All guardsmen get Instinctive Behavior: Getting eaten. When in synapse range, they run away on 1-3, or get eaten by the synapse creature on 4-6. On a six, however, the synapse creature was too greedy and chokes to death on a guardman.

When a character in the same unit as a commissar fails a leadership test, roll a d6 for both and add it to the models initiative. If the character has a higher value, he shoots the commissar first.

You can now deep-strike leman russes. If a leman russ would land on top of guardsmen, they just crush them instead of mishapping.

Commissars can now have a leman russ as a dedicated transport. They can hit enemies with their sword from the cupola.

The Imperial Guard gets an Adeptus Administratum table. At the beginning of your turn, you roll on the table. Possible results: reinforcements, moral boosts, additional wargear for your units or an Exterminatus at the hands of the Inquisition, killing both armies. High chance of the later when fighting forces of chaos.

One of the relics is a crate of bionic arms, which provides IWND and FNP to models wielding two plasma pistols.

Guardsmen can attach laser-pointers to their lasguns, twin-linking them.

Added three new orders for officers: "Sit!", "Catch!" and "Play dead!". Despite what nafka claims "Who's a good doggy?" did not make it past play-testing.

Rough riders can now pick their mount from a large collection, including, but not limited to, horses, elephants, cows, donkeys, sheep, giant centipedes, dinosaurs and sharks. Due to wording issues, you can also pick multiples. A jokaero weaponsmith may chose to ride on the back of a rough rider.

You can now pick a platoon where every model is a named characters and has a unique statline, rules and wargear. You may only pick all 150 characters (including recruits and commissars) or none at all.

Just Lmfao dude..

just made my day..

Oh oh. Rough riders can throw their lances which have demo charge upgrades on their pointy edge. New vendetta variant with three twin-l multi meltas.

**EmilCrane**

AtoMaki wrote:
They will totally retcon the Imperial Guard into a Call of Duty modern soldier/commando ripoff organization. They will use tacticool gear, they will have top-notch training and every one of them will be an OorahBringItOnOscarMike specops guy with all the awesome gadgets and air support and everything.

They will replace the normal guardsmen (both Cadians and Catachans) with models straight from the Battlefield 4 design studio. Each tank will be remade to be futuristic 21st century instead of WW1/WW2. They will still have zero suspension or ground leverage.

There will be unmanned drones, tracked gun robots and attack dogs. Overall army theme heavily emphasizes the use of these support option instead of actual soldiers. We want out boys back home in one piece after all!

Commissars lose Summary Execution and all reference of shooting their own men will be removed from their fluff.

Gameplay-wise the army will be about fielding only a handful of kitted-out super-elite guardsmen and rely on support elements to defeat the enemy.

Also, to represent the "bullet swallowing" of CoD, every guardsmen will have 3 wounds and It Will Not Die (2+).

You know I could actually see them doing this, except it would mean GW actually pays attentions to trends and the outside world in general.

Lol'd at the bit about the tanks.

- The Guard will get a new tank kit that is better than the Russ is every way.
- It will all be about foot guard and conscripts and mechanized armies will be heavily nerfed.
- Speaking of conscripts, they will be cheaper and extremely cost effective, and have different wargear from guardsmen requiring you to buy the new conscript kit, 10 men for $40 US.
- There will be an awesome veterans/storm troopers kit and all of us long time guard players will be sucked in by its awesomeness.
- Vendettas will be 2HP and very expensive.

**VikingChild**

There'll be a 10 page section of Regimental Doctrines/Traits allowing you to customize your Guard any conceivable flavour you want from Abhumans to Admech to Naval Landing Parties...

Plastic Harakoni Warhawks and Tanith First and Only kits will be released...

There'll be a new Stormhammer super heavy model...

Roughriders will be able to upgrade their mounts to a motorcycle...

The codex will include a special plastic Marbo figure on the front cover with various weapon options included...

Guard to get landspeeders and jump packs a la back in my day...

... all this I wish!

**hotsauceman1**

Sasori wrote:
hotsauceman1 wrote:
Sasori wrote:
hotsauceman1 wrote:
A new tank called "The Compensator" exists. It has a long turret with a bulbous....wait I think I made this joke before.
There are now Female guard rules. before the shooting roll a d6
1-The females are distacted by Clothes and Nails, may not do anything
2-5: Female guard get the "Preffered Enemy: Other women" and "Catfight" rule where if they charge another female unit they gain 3 attacks due to using their teeth and nails
6: Female guard gain "Hatred: Men" and may fire rapid fire then charge. Any male unit must pass a leadership test at minus 3 to do anything in combat or else the women yell at them

Having served with women in the military, I feel that this post is pretty disrespectful, even for a joke.

Sensitive a bit much?

No, I'm not at all. Your joke is just completely disrespectful, and is not funny at all. It's just in poor taste, and shows that you really have no clue.

Jesus. Newsflash, Jokes tend to sometimes be disrespectful. Do you really think that I think any women in the battlfield are like this. You are the one with no sense of humor

**Drager**

hotsauceman1 wrote:
Sasori wrote:
hotsauceman1 wrote:
Sasori wrote:
hotsauceman1 wrote:
A new tank called "The Compensator" exists. It has a long turret with a bulbous....wait I think I made this joke before.
There are now Female guard rules. before the shooting roll a d6
1-The females are distacted by Clothes and Nails, may not do anything
2-5: Female guard get the "Preffered Enemy: Other women" and "Catfight" rule where if they charge another female unit they gain 3 attacks due to using their teeth and nails
6: Female guard gain "Hatred: Men" and may fire rapid fire then charge. Any male unit must pass a leadership test at minus 3 to do anything in combat or else the women yell at them

Having served with women in the military, I feel that this post is pretty disrespectful, even for a joke.

Sensitive a bit much?

No, I'm not at all. Your joke is just completely disrespectful, and is not funny at all. It's just in poor taste, and shows that you really have no clue.

Jesus. Newsflash, Jokes tend to sometimes be disrespectful. Do you really think that I think any women in the battlfield are like this. You are the one with no sense of humor

Sensitive a bit much?

**Tydil**

If a game involving IG ends with a tie, the IG player may approach any Space Marine player currently in the store and praise him for defeating the enemy and rescuing the defenseless guardsmen. Upon which time, the Space Marine player wins the game, the opponent loses, and the IG player receives absolutely no recognition for anything.

**GeronimoJones**

Infantry squads become a minimum of 20 per squad. The price for a box of 10 increases to £30, which is okay because they add in some minor customisation options!

Baneblades are now Elites and come in squadrons of 1-3. They also count as Jump Infantry.

Veterans become an Elites choice again. A new kit is released for them, which includes 9 of the ten models you need. In fact, all squads are repackaged to come in boxes of 9, forcing you to buy another box to make up the numbers.

**Kid_Kyoto**

GW will release not one, but TWO new plastic regiments.

The first is the long awaited greatcoat guard with tons of weapon and head options.

The second is a ragtag unit of survivors with a huge variety of guns, knives and improvised weapons and the first plastic female guard!

These will be 30 models for $20 and in an effort to support your FLGS will NOT be available at GW stores!

Leaked photos are below

Spoiler:

**Flinty**

The Leman Russ is renamed the Sanguinious Battle Tank, can only be armed with flame weapons and assault cannon but can deep strike.

Thudd guns get dusted off (with squat crews) to be the next spammable unit.

Capitol Imperialis becomes a 1+ hq choice taking up all your army's points, but comes with a support force of all Codex Imperial Guard models in your collection for free.