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The Paris one is pretty cool, I advise you to give the London one a try.

So do you actually play esports (read; games) at an esports bar? Or is it just televised/livestreamed matches from elsewhere?

Well, there were about 9 computers that were free to use during the afternoon, and during the evening there was some Smite tournament mostly to encourage beginners to discover the game, along with an exhibition match between experienced players. And apparently most of the time there are also a bunch of free to use consoles to play fighting games. So yes, you can games in the bar, there are even regularly small tournaments, but you mostly come to watch.
[edit]Also, it was almost the first time I went there, I am not a regular, so I am not very familiar with everything [/edit]

Hmmm, sounds like the rebirth of the Arcade. I wonder how they make money? Is there a cover charge?

On-Topic- Has anyone been out finding any dates lately? I live vicariously through your stories.

I was out at a fun charity event with lots of artist types, and it made me think of this thread. I don't think my wife would have approved me using any of the suggestion found here though.

 Easy E wrote:
Hmmm, sounds like the rebirth of the Arcade. I wonder how they make money? Is there a cover charge?

Well, they sell drinks. And a few food too. They made me a veggie burger even though there was none on the menu, because they are cool like that .

 Easy E wrote:
On-Topic- Has anyone been out finding any dates lately?

Nope, even though I am looking forward to seeing the girl I spoke to last time this Saturday when I go to that Meltdown bar again.
But this evening, while waiting for the RER (metro/train) to go back home, some girl started a conversation on Zola, because I was reading La bête humaine. She seemed cool. She is going to some association on the campus that organize concerts and stuff. I think I will try to go there once of twice . Of course, that will require me to stop being lazy and bike the feth up.
I am not sure, but I think my new haircut may have changed the way strangers react to me. I cut out a lot of hair, facial or otherwise. But I do not remember it having such an effect the previous times I did some big hair cutting.

 Easy E wrote:
I live vicariously through your stories.

Come on, man. You are married. I am a 27 years old virgin. Why would you want to live vicariously through me ?

No dates... don't think I've spoken to a female that isn't a coworker/friends girlfriend/family relation in months at this point. Getting a date is easy, its meeting people so you can try to date them that isn't.

I've got a date tomorrow night with a girl I've not met in person yet. Really looking forward to it. Will fill you all in afterwards!

chaos0xomega wrote:
No dates... don't think I've spoken to a female that isn't a coworker/friends girlfriend/family relation in months at this point. Getting a date is easy, its meeting people so you can try to date them that isn't.

Too true.

@Albi- did your accidental girlfriend fall through?

@Easy - She didn't fall through. I pushed her.

She was a lovely girl, but she was trying to get wifed up, and I wasn't feeling it, tbh. This new girl seems cool though.

Another find from Tinder?


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Another find from Tinder?

Yes, mate. I was talking to her before 'accidental girlfriend' elbowed her out of the queue!

So my current relationship status is a little bit weird...

I'm currently in a polyamorous relationship with a girl I met at Adepticon. (She's a wargamer, a redhead and PhD candidate, check those boxes right off the goddess damn list!)

In the wings is a current Librarian with a paralegal degree, she's shy, Japanese-American and thinks I'm fantastic.

Now coming out of left field my buddy has set me up with a gorgeous English nuclear engineer, former cage fighter, nerd, thinks I'm handsome (so a little deluded, but what the hell right?)


So I suppose I need advice on where to get cheap plane tickets.

Poly amorous relationship w someone you met at adepticon... Call it like it is, you're long distance smash buddies ;P

You're still in the Marines right? Cheap plane tix = space A

She's actually pretty close to me, just up in NYC, and smash buddies = no romantic attachment

and I've been out of the Marines for a couple years now.

I've come back from the depths of a week ban to say one thing...
I'm a taken man, as of April 21st. I did it, guys. And it's going great so far! 5 years I have merely dreamed of this.

Albie has his first success story lol ;P

KM - whereabouts are you, since apparrently you're in my neck of the woods?

I'm actually in a somewhat weird situation right now. It's weird that I hadn't really had any women interested in me for the most part but it's really just about getting into places to meet them. There are lots of women out there but you have to be careful not to set your standards too high.

For me if I wanted a woman that's pretty and fun she probably would want me but only if she's not into the same things as me (likes girl stuff). If she's a tomboy and likes everything I like I could probably get her (but only if she's average looking or not so pretty).

The way I think of it is many guys get 'friend-zoned' because they try going for women out of their league. Some say that isn't the case but in every situation where somebody is 'friend-zoned' or a supposed stalker it seems to be the case. For the most part I think online dating is probably total crap and is a waste of time (at least for me). Also they don't have a lot of ways to find out what you're like in real life so that's a problem.

------------

So my current situation or fairly recent situation since I just got done with school. I had been away from school for a while and my work was mostly just guys or the women in the boss's family. Only really one open option and she had a boyfriend and wasn't that great of a pick anyway. I go on to take a physics class and seemingly like 5 women in the class seem to want me or at least show interest. One girl that always smiled when I smiled near her, one Chinese girl which was nice and seemed to throw off those vibes, a girl that really liked harry potter and was a gamer (she said she was a lesbian when I last talked to her but some co-worker said she probably lied not that I'd push the situation), a waitress who kind of left the class due to conflicts with her work (seemed to like me and gave me her email mostly for labs but did ask to study together) and an African girl that always tried being my lab partner.

Now a lot of these girls were ok looking with the waitress being the best looking and the one girl that always smiled my way having some nice features. I was almost laughing in my head at the idea I must be in some freaking visual novel where the main male character gets to date and bone each of the women depending on the route he takes.

There's also a couple women with one of which being on here at dakka (and thus into warhammer) but she's quite the distance away and mentioned it's unlikely due to distance and a variety of things. She also seems to keep people that she meets in different places separate from each other and seems to have not many ways to contact her. Not sure if that's a sign she isn't interested or if she just finds it unlikely and has thus not given it a chance. That said we still talk to each other and seem to enjoy each other's company and we've talked ongoing for over a year though it has been infrequent.

Also there's this other girl that used to be in a warhammer club on a facebook group with me and I just asked her for a game of warhammer 40k to which she said she'd like to play partly considering none of her friends play the game. Of course I haven't played 40k in forever and am currently into playing fantasy with my skaven. That said I could dust off my shelved guard with a million spiders possibly residing in the case (if I don't find at least one spider it'll be a miracle). It's also worth noting she's kind of cute and some old posts from way back when on her facebook seemed to show she thought similar ways to me though she's in a 4chan group so that'll be weird probably.

The final one seems most likely I think but it's worth checking into quite a few of these options.

--------------

So any advice guys? I almost feel like I should give some to other people here oddly enough and I don't really ever date girls all that much.

 flamingkillamajig wrote:
The way I think of it is many guys get 'friend-zoned' because they try going for women out of their league.

Err, no. So much wrong in one simple sentence.

1) "Friend zoning" is something entitled s whine about, not a real problem. If you complain that someone wants to be friends with you then you probably weren't attracted to them in the first place.

2) The entire concept of "leagues" is nonsense. Someone is only "out of your league" if you convince yourself that it's true and destroy your own confidence. Just ask any ugly guy in a relationship with an attractive woman (or any other gender combination).

So any advice guys? I almost feel like I should give some to other people here oddly enough and I don't really ever date girls all that much.

First of all, you're probably reading way too much into some of those. Smiling back at you isn't a sign that someone is madly in love with you, it's just basic social interaction. Nor does working together on a project mean that someone is interested in anything outside of that project. Obviously something could develop, but if you sit around fantasizing about people you've barely interacted with (as "it's like my own private novel!" suggests) you're just going to build up your own imaginary person to worship that has nothing to do with the real person. And you're just going to be disappointed at best.

Second, if someone you're possibly interested in asks to play a game with you then play a game. Don't be that guy who remains single because they were too lazy to dust off their models/call someone back/etc and realizes years later how stupid they were. Seriously, what's the worst that can happen? You play a game of 40k and that's as far as it goes? Even if you just get a new friend to play games with you still win.


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 KalashnikovMarine wrote:
Now coming out of left field my buddy has set me up with a gorgeous English nuclear engineer, former cage fighter, nerd, thinks I'm handsome (so a little deluded, but what the hell right?)

You know you've found a good friend when you have a girlfriend or two already and they still help set you up with people.

Most of the people I know in long term relationships have always said to me. Always go for a girl out of your league. Then adding, if they happen to had a drink too many, "that's what I did."

My mates tend to be surprisingly mushy drunks.

 Peregrine wrote:


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 KalashnikovMarine wrote:
Now coming out of left field my buddy has set me up with a gorgeous English nuclear engineer, former cage fighter, nerd, thinks I'm handsome (so a little deluded, but what the hell right?)

You know you've found a good friend when you have a girlfriend or two already and they still help set you up with people.

Well, he knows I don't have anything serious, and he's convinced I'll end up marrying this one.

As to "leagues" I always swing for the fences. My league is what I say it is based on a wide variety of factors, not just physical attractiveness. It doesn't have an upper limit as far as I'm concerned. This policy has led to me dating some very pretty women globally. So never sell yourself short. Why settle for what you think you can do when you can strive and grasp that next higher rung.

 flamingkillamajig wrote:
There are lots of women out there but you have to be careful not to set your standards too high.

For me if I wanted a woman that's pretty and fun she probably would want me but only if she's not into the same things as me (likes girl stuff). If she's a tomboy and likes everything I like I could probably get her (but only if she's average looking or not so pretty).

The way I think of it is many guys get 'friend-zoned' because they try going for women out of their league. Some say that isn't the case but in every situation where somebody is 'friend-zoned' or a supposed stalker it seems to be the case.

What ? Why ?
I do not know about you, but personally I do no think about girls like “Hey, that one good-looking enough for me. But that one is not, I am better looking than her so I will not be interested by her ever. And that one is more beautiful than me, I will never talk to her”. And I do not think girls do that either. Rather, even though being good-looking can trigger attention, what I care about is ”Do I enjoy being with that girl ? Are we having good time together ? Is she interesting ?”. And this, contrarily to the picture you paint, is something heavily subjective. I may have much more fun with one girl, and you with another, because we have different personalities and interests. Therefore, I do not think there is anything like “leagues”. And a stunningly beautiful girl is just as likely (or unlikely) to be interested in you than an ugly one. The only difference being that maybe, maybe the ugly one will settle for you even if she is not all that interested in you because she feels more desperate. Far from granted, as really there are much more than just looks in seduction.
So I am not convinced by this “league” stuff, and I will still not refrain from talking with girls that are too beautiful, or not beautiful enough.

 flamingkillamajig wrote:
Also there's this other girl that used to be in a warhammer club on a facebook group with me and I just asked her for a game of warhammer 40k to which she said she'd like to play partly considering none of her friends play the game. Of course I haven't played 40k in forever and am currently into playing fantasy with my skaven. That said I could dust off my shelved guard with a million spiders possibly residing in the case (if I don't find at least one spider it'll be a miracle). It's also worth noting she's kind of cute and some old posts from way back when on her facebook seemed to show she thought similar ways to me though she's in a 4chan group so that'll be weird probably.

Why have you not played against her already ? Unless you now hate the game or something, I can not think of any reason not to.


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 poppa G wrote:
I've come back from the depths of a week ban to say one thing...
I'm a taken man, as of April 21st. I did it, guys. And it's going great so far! 5 years I have merely dreamed of this.

Good for you! Congrats.

 KalashnikovMarine wrote:

 Peregrine wrote:


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 KalashnikovMarine wrote:
Now coming out of left field my buddy has set me up with a gorgeous English nuclear engineer, former cage fighter, nerd, thinks I'm handsome (so a little deluded, but what the hell right?)

You know you've found a good friend when you have a girlfriend or two already and they still help set you up with people.

Well, he knows I don't have anything serious, and he's convinced I'll end up marrying this one.

As to "leagues" I always swing for the fences. My league is what I say it is based on a wide variety of factors, not just physical attractiveness. It doesn't have an upper limit as far as I'm concerned. This policy has led to me dating some very pretty women globally. So never sell yourself short. Why settle for what you think you can do when you can strive and grasp that next higher rung.

I don't think I've ever once believed a girl I was pursuing was 'out of my league', I've had people TELL me that a girl is 'out of my league' but thats definitely not the viewpoint I would take... if anything, I'm out of their league, though they might not realize it ;P

Don't worry about Leagues too much. Just ask. If you get rejected shrug and move on.

If someone feels they are being "Friend-Zoned" it is their own damn fault for not moving on. There are hundreds of interesting people to meet. Go meet them.





Edit: Do ladies ever feel "Friend-Zoned" or is it just a guy thing?

Girls definitely feel it, as I've had a few convos with female friends who feel they are 'friend-zoned' by guys, though I think it tends to be generally rarer with females

There is no such thing as Leagues. There is only YES or NO.

 Easy E wrote:
If someone feels they are being "Friend-Zoned" it is their own damn fault for not moving on.

If you enjoy someone enough to want to be in a romantic relationship with her, then you should enjoy her enough to be happy to have her as a friend anyway.

I would disagree with that, if only because that line of thought sets you up to emotionally sacrifice yourself for someone else as you watch them share experiences with someone else while you wish it was you instead. Its not really a 'real' friendship at that point.

"She's out of my league" is a tacit confession that you're a wimp.

What KM said. It's also an indirect expression of a lack of self-confidence... chicks don't want dudes without self-confidence... at least not the girls you want to have a stable relationship with.

Yeah I agree with the others, the whole "league" idea really isn't a thing. And yes girls get "friend zoned" too.