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Step #1: Don't be a dick
Step #2 Be confident
step #3 if stumped, refer to step 1

That is not really helping.

I'm not exactly known for being helpful.

But that is sound advice, confidence is pretty much the only thing you need.

Confidence and to know when you've taken something too far. (or not being a dick)

 nomsheep wrote:
Step #1: Don't be a dick
Step #2 Be confident
step #3 if stumped, refer to step 1

I'd argue that Step #1 is not even close to always required. I've laid some of my best pipe while being a cocky douchebag.

 nomsheep wrote:
But that is sound advice, confidence is pretty much the only thing you need.

Yeah, but it has been stated a lot of time on this thread already. Now, the real question is how to become confident. Can you help with that?

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:

 nomsheep wrote:
But that is sound advice, confidence is pretty much the only thing you need.

Yeah, but it has been stated a lot of time on this thread already. Now, the real question is how to become confident. Can you help with that?

Yeah, if need be fake it, til it becomes real.

Find something daft like a lucky cap, t-shirt, jacket or something and use that to boost your confidence til you don't need it anymore.

HIt the gym, lift things up and put them back down until you look like Chris Hemsworth, that should make you confident.

 nomsheep wrote:
Find something daft like a lucky cap, t-shirt, jacket or something and use that to boost your confidence til you don't need it anymore.

That is more helpful. But I do not think I will be able to convince myself that some piece of cloth brings me luck.

chaos0xomega wrote:
HIt the gym, lift things up and put them back down until you look like Chris Hemsworth, that should make you confident.

I plan on doing tons of climbing instead of going to a gym. As soon as I finish writing my thesis for my PhD. I am not sure that will change things a lot, though. I mean, I already have way less body image issues than I used too.

I havent been climbing in months, the difference in my physique is notable, I'm still lean, but my shoulders and back muscles have atrophied some as I've mostly been running in the meantime and not really doing any sort of lifting, etc.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
So, update about that chick on facebook:

We've been chatting a bit more recently, etc. and she gave me some insight into the social network site/app that she's going to be launching soon, some really cool stuff (seriously, I wish I had thought of it), I'm actually looking forward to it and intend to use it. She asked if I could help spread the word, etc. and help build some hype for it, nothing that I wouldn't do for an actual friend, etc.

BUT, as has been pointed out before, I'm a bit wary of a random cute chick on the internet putting out the charms... so do I do it?

On the one hand, she has like 800 friends on facebook, a lot of them dudes who are all too obviously trying way too damned hard to get in her pants, so she could ask any one of them to do this (and I wouldn't doubt that she has), but on the other hand she did ask me to post to the apps fb page to "pop the posting cherry", something that you can't exactly ask multiple people to do, because only one person can make the first post, right?

What do you think internet? Is chaos being lead on by a snake-charmer or is it a legitimate favor being asked of me? Do I agree, do I say no, or do I agree conditionally and try to get a date out of it? lol

chaos0xomega wrote:
I havent been climbing in months

I stopped for one month, because school holidays.

chaos0xomega wrote:
What do you think internet? Is chaos being lead on by a snake-charmer or is it a legitimate favor being asked of me? Do I agree, do I say no, or do I agree conditionally and try to get a date out of it? lol

I think she just wants to build hype around her app. You could try to use this as a way to get her interested in you, but I would not get to invested into this if I were you. Also, of course, if you really think the app is cool, just spread the hype anyway.

Basically, yeah. You don't lose anything by sharing her page, plus it's a cute idea to make it into some sort of bargain, a la 'Yeah, of course I'll share your page! Only thing is, you have to go out on a date with me in return. It's kind of a rule I have lol.'


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 NuggzTheNinja wrote:

 nomsheep wrote:
Step #1: Don't be a dick
Step #2 Be confident
step #3 if stumped, refer to step 1

I'd argue that Step #1 is not even close to always required. I've laid some of my best pipe while being a cocky douchebag.

You? A cocky douchebag?!


I find that hard to believe.

 Albatross wrote:
Basically, yeah. You don't lose anything by sharing her page, plus it's a cute idea to make it into some sort of bargain, a la 'Yeah, of course I'll share your page! Only thing is, you have to go out on a date with me in return. It's kind of a rule I have lol.'

Thats perhaps a wee bit too straightforward and aggressive for my tastes, any suggestions on how to dial it back a bit?

Well, agreeing [i]conditionally[i] to share the page or whatever it is she wants you to do is kind of very straightforward and aggressive by definition. The only way I can see to soften it is to make it look like it is tongue in cheek and you will share the page anyway.

True, the one thing I keep reminding myself of though is that she does have what can only be described as a gagglefuck of guys that are trying to err... welll.... feth her, very blatantly so, and she did, after all decide to message me first (actually shes the one that added me about 4 or 5 months ago)... so maybe I shouldnt be that direct (yet)?

Also worth pointing out that she wasnt the one who brought it up. We were discussing our favorite hockey team when I asked her about it basically unprompted (i was really curious) and she told me some stuff, it wasnt until after I was like "damn thats a great idea, why didnt I think of this?" that she asked to help spread the word etc, so considering that shd didnt really solicit me for it (like she could have at any point in the past few weeks) either shes a smooth operator or its not her goal... right?

Oh. That shed a new light on the situation.
I would not explicitly link the date and the page sharing, though.

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:
Oh. That shed a new light on the situation.
I would not explicitly link the date and the page sharing, though.

^This.

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:
The only way I can see to soften it is to make it look like it is tongue in cheek and you will share the page anyway.

This, basically. And maybe 'Yeah, of course I'll share your page. You WILL have to let me buy you coffee some time in return, though. It's kind of a rule I have. Sorry. ' is a little softer and more jocular. It's just a little way of showing interest - you're not actually going to refuse to share this girl's page if she rebuffs your offer, right? You're just being a bit cheeky, not aggressive. If she thinks your cute, she'll think it is cute. If she doesn't already think you're cute, then this will either change that or it won't. It certainly won't change like to dislike, so I'm not seeing much of a downside here. Confidence, guys!


Incidentally, I have a girlfriend again. A new one. A good one.




I honestly think my days of playing the field are over for the forseeable future. Woah, that felt weird to type...

This story actually happened bit of a read, but I've been assured it's pretty funny. It's semi-related, but I thought I'd share it on here. Whilst I was in college, and is a pretty good example of what not to do.

In college, this pretty quiet redhead sat next to me, she was pretty quiet, but I'd kind of talk at her (she'd rarely reply) about how she only ever seemed to do work during a 5 minute registration period.

She lived pretty close to me, and very ocassionally got on the same bus when she wasn't walking home with her friend. Then, one day, whilst I was walking behind her (I was daydreaming, didn't notice), she turned round suddenly, and said 'oh hey Josh, how are you doing?'

I panicked, and panicked hard, so I launched in a rant about buses being bad, such as 'oh yeah, these buses are terrible, I'll probably be waiting like 40 minutes for a bus that's probably not going to arrive'

She then said to me 'well, you could always walk home with me?'

Didn't compute. 'Nah, I'll just get the bus, it's fine, don't worry about it'. And I crossed the road, and walked off. Oh yeah, she's a model too. She's literally a model.

We've now been together for around a year and a half. Protips:

Confidence
Don't pretend you know what you're doing, because thinking that there is somekind of dating meta is stupid, just wing it.

 winnertakesall wrote:


She then said to me 'well, you could always walk home with me?'

Didn't compute. 'Nah, I'll just get the bus, it's fine, don't worry about it'. And I crossed the road, and walked off.

This sounds surprisingly familiar. - Quite often I only figure something out, 6 months to a year after the last time I ever meet a girl.

It's... irritating.

Sounds familiar to me, too. I think I probably dreamed it, because it's never happened in real life.

I honestly don't think I've ever had the misfortune of being completely oblivious to flirting or suchlike; then again, I might not have realised it yet.

 Albatross wrote:

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:
The only way I can see to soften it is to make it look like it is tongue in cheek and you will share the page anyway.

This, basically. And maybe 'Yeah, of course I'll share your page. You WILL have to let me buy you coffee some time in return, though. It's kind of a rule I have. Sorry. ' is a little softer and more jocular. It's just a little way of showing interest - you're not actually going to refuse to share this girl's page if she rebuffs your offer, right? You're just being a bit cheeky, not aggressive. If she thinks your cute, she'll think it is cute. If she doesn't already think you're cute, then this will either change that or it won't. It certainly won't change like to dislike, so I'm not seeing much of a downside here. Confidence, guys!


Incidentally, I have a girlfriend again. A new one. A good one.




I honestly think my days of playing the field are over for the forseeable future. Woah, that felt weird to type...

If only youd posted sooner :/

and didnt you say the same thing 15 pages ago??

 winnertakesall wrote:
This story actually happened bit of a read, but I've been assured it's pretty funny. It's semi-related, but I thought I'd share it on here. Whilst I was in college, and is a pretty good example of what not to do.

In college, this pretty quiet redhead sat next to me, she was pretty quiet, but I'd kind of talk at her (she'd rarely reply) about how she only ever seemed to do work during a 5 minute registration period.

She lived pretty close to me, and very ocassionally got on the same bus when she wasn't walking home with her friend. Then, one day, whilst I was walking behind her (I was daydreaming, didn't notice), she turned round suddenly, and said 'oh hey Josh, how are you doing?'

I panicked, and panicked hard, so I launched in a rant about buses being bad, such as 'oh yeah, these buses are terrible, I'll probably be waiting like 40 minutes for a bus that's probably not going to arrive'

She then said to me 'well, you could always walk home with me?'

Didn't compute. 'Nah, I'll just get the bus, it's fine, don't worry about it'. And I crossed the road, and walked off. Oh yeah, she's a model too. She's literally a model.

We've now been together for around a year and a half. Protips:

Confidence
Don't pretend you know what you're doing, because thinking that there is somekind of dating meta is stupid, just wing it.

bless that woman and her patience lol

chaos0xomega wrote:
and didnt you say the same thing 15 pages ago??

A few pages ago. And I guess it was the same girl .

 Compel wrote:

 winnertakesall wrote:


She then said to me 'well, you could always walk home with me?'

Didn't compute. 'Nah, I'll just get the bus, it's fine, don't worry about it'. And I crossed the road, and walked off.

This sounds surprisingly familiar. - Quite often I only figure something out, 6 months to a year after the last time I ever meet a girl.

It's... irritating.

This does sound very familiar...

It would be irritating had it not me so long to figure it out, at that I'm just embarrassed.

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:

 nomsheep wrote:
Find something daft like a lucky cap, t-shirt, jacket or something and use that to boost your confidence til you don't need it anymore.

That is more helpful. But I do not think I will be able to convince myself that some piece of cloth brings me luck.

I concur, I've never had lucky socks or something. Though I suppose my dog tags are kinda lucky to some extent. I did however pick up a similar trick from a female friend that helps me boost my own confidence and may be of more use to you. Sexy underware. Or rather underwear that makes you feel sexy. Whatever that is your own business, but if you're feeling good, and wearing something you think makes you look hot makes you fee even better, you usually check the confidence boxes off no problem. It's key that it's underwear though, you can use this trick for dates at which point someone might see it, but otherwise it's just the psychological effect you want as opposed to completely changing up your whole wardrobe. A three piece suit looks damn good, but it's a bit much for coffee with that cute blonde from around the way.

 KalashnikovMarine wrote:

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:

 nomsheep wrote:
Find something daft like a lucky cap, t-shirt, jacket or something and use that to boost your confidence til you don't need it anymore.

That is more helpful. But I do not think I will be able to convince myself that some piece of cloth brings me luck.

I concur, I've never had lucky socks or something. Though I suppose my dog tags are kinda lucky to some extent. I did however pick up a similar trick from a female friend that helps me boost my own confidence and may be of more use to you. Sexy underware. Or rather underwear that makes you feel sexy. Whatever that is your own business, but if you're feeling good, and wearing something you think makes you look hot makes you fee even better, you usually check the confidence boxes off no problem. It's key that it's underwear though, you can use this trick for dates at which point someone might see it, but otherwise it's just the psychological effect you want as opposed to completely changing up your whole wardrobe. A three piece suit looks damn good, but it's a bit much for coffee with that cute blonde from around the way.

That's kind of what I was going for when I said lucky [insertitemhere].

I think sexy underwear is something that helps the ladies more than us guys... they have a lot more options to choose from in that department...

chaos0xomega wrote:
I think sexy underwear is something that helps the ladies more than us guys... they have a lot more options to choose from in that department...

You say that, but men have plenty of choice.

I have no idea what male underwear would be considered sexy.
I can use my Sithrak t-shirt for that, I guess. If someone recognize it, I can propose her to LARP some Oglaf, and else, I can show them what it is about .

(If you do not know Oglaf, most of it is very NSFW,( to the point even linking to it is certainly forbidden by the forum rules, I guess), but pretty very, lighthearted and fun. The Sithrak storyline is perfectly safe and totally awesome)

 winnertakesall wrote:
This story actually happened bit of a read, but I've been assured it's pretty funny. It's semi-related, but I thought I'd share it on here. Whilst I was in college, and is a pretty good example of what not to do.

Confidence
Don't pretend you know what you're doing, because thinking that there is somekind of dating meta is stupid, just wing it.

^ This. Though If there was an anime where the main character played table top wargames, but failed with women, but at the end of ep 2 realised he could apply statistics and junk to pro strategies to woo women, I would watch that.

 nomsheep wrote:

chaos0xomega wrote:
I think sexy underwear is something that helps the ladies more than us guys... they have a lot more options to choose from in that department...

You say that, but men have plenty of choice.

Word. I exclusively wear designer underwear for precisely the reasons set out thus far. It's well-made, comfortable, looks good and for some reason I just feel more confident wearing it.


Holy gak, sounds like I'm talking about tampons or something!


Anyway, yeah, nice underwear makes you feel good. Calvins are always a good shout.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:

chaos0xomega wrote:
and didnt you say the same thing 15 pages ago??

A few pages ago. And I guess it was the same girl .

Yes, it's the same girl. We're fairly smitten with each other, actually. It's taken me by surprise, if I'm being honest!


This is like, my fourth girlfriend since I started this thread. Someone better qualified than me needs to set up a thread about picking the RIGHT girl/guy!


Early signs are that she is a keeper though. Seriously this time.