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 Albatross wrote:

HOLY F.... Yeah, that'd be pretty mental. Run! Danger!

It's not like I have thousands of samples, but she's the only girl... the only person period I've ever met who consistently puts "lol" only at the beginning of a text message and uses hyphens in place of semicolons, or really that hyphenates between phrases period. That's pretty unusual.

That's not much of a smoking gun, but between the timing and that, I'm creeped out enough to be done.

 daedalus wrote:
That's not much of a smoking gun, but between the timing and that, I'm creeped out enough to be done.

Why dont you just say 'I dont recognise the number, who is this?'.
Ya know, to at least clarify who it actually is...

 Zambro wrote:
Why dont you just say 'I dont recognise the number, who is this?'.
Ya know, to at least clarify who it actually is...

Well, after a glass of port and a beer, I think that's what I'm going to do. I'm operating under the assumption that she is borrowing the phone from someone else, and I'm going to wait a little while to minimimze the odds she's still around it at the time. Either way, she probably wouldn't be able to give a name I know. Maybe I'm being too paranoid about it, but it was pretty creepy.

Oh, this was a serious thread? Huh...

Yeah, it kind of is.

 daedalus wrote:

 Albatross wrote:

HOLY F.... Yeah, that'd be pretty mental. Run! Danger!

It's not like I have thousands of samples, but she's the only girl... the only person period I've ever met who consistently puts "lol" only at the beginning of a text message and uses hyphens in place of semicolons, or really that hyphenates between phrases period. That's pretty unusual.

That's not much of a smoking gun, but between the timing and that, I'm creeped out enough to be done.

Mate how is that creepy? Everyone has their little quirks, stop nitpicking! Did you perhaps consider that she may be pretty nervous too?

 angelofvengeance wrote:
Mate how is that creepy? Everyone has their little quirks, stop nitpicking! Did you perhaps consider that she may be pretty nervous too?

Go back and read the context. The odd punctuation style isn't the creepy thing, it's the evidence that seems to confirm their suspicions about the sender's identity. This is the actual problem:

I think the one I went out with the other day literally just sent me text messages from a number I didn't recognize pretending to be someone else asking me how the date went.

 daedalus wrote:

 Albatross wrote:

HOLY F.... Yeah, that'd be pretty mental. Run! Danger!

It's not like I have thousands of samples, but she's the only girl... the only person period I've ever met who consistently puts "lol" only at the beginning of a text message and uses hyphens in place of semicolons, or really that hyphenates between phrases period. That's pretty unusual.

That's not much of a smoking gun, but between the timing and that, I'm creeped out enough to be done.

I do that hyphen thing - I never lol though.

 Albatross wrote:

I do that hyphen thing - I never lol though.

It's not improper within certain contexts. It's just unusual enough and unusual enough within the context of narrowing it down to people that I find myself at unease about it.

The number claimed that it was mistaken identity, but referenced me having an "awesome beard" before I started digging, which was something she had said in person. Creep factor not reduced.

 daedalus wrote:

 Albatross wrote:

I do that hyphen thing - I never lol though.

It's not improper within certain contexts. It's just unusual enough and unusual enough within the context of narrowing it down to people that I find myself at unease about it.

The number claimed that it was mistaken identity, but referenced me having an "awesome beard" before I started digging, which was something she had said in person. Creep factor not reduced.

While i'd be a bit weirded out too i think there's something you should figure out. Is she a lonely, socially awkward person and constantly depressed? Stalkers tend to be those people. Perhaps right now she needs somebody. It doesn't have to be you though it can be a friend or something. Anything to make life suck that much less. Stalkers also tend to look up to the people they stalk as some idol practically. You are probably all the things she is not but wishes she could be.

All that said i would probably call it quits myself before the 2nd date. For somebody to be that into you without knowing nearly anything about you is strange. At least with me it takes me liking a girl a lot for months and her fully aware of this and ok with it for many months to go bad. Not saying it hasn't sooner but there isn't usually that much interest behind it. It's more like 'So what i only knew them for a few weeks and not well.'

Well, I have heard many people do the same sort of thing on first dates. Talk way too much and overly fawn over the other person. They think that will get them another date with someone.

They are wrong. It is just a sign of someone who is oozing desperation. It is very unattractive and unnerving.

 Easy E wrote:
Well, I have heard many people do the same sort of thing on first dates. Talk way too much and overly fawn over the other person. They think that will get them another date with someone.

They are wrong. It is just a sign of someone who is oozing desperation. It is very unattractive and unnerving.

Yeah it is but they may also need some help. Hopefully they have other chances with other people.

I mean for me the most i get out is just going to games workshop, panera, the gym and my job at a factory. The factory is all men practically (most of the women work in the office) and all of the women are either too old or taken and probably both with the most attractive being the boss's wife and the mother of my supervisor (well when he's in that part of the shop). As far as games workshop it's once again mostly guys and finding a girl there is like a magical finding waldo moment. The gym has plenty of women and some attractive but i feel the decent looking ones (keep in mind many make me look super unfit) are all upset enough at guys looking at them and asking for dates so i don't try (pretty sure they hate those guys). So that only really leaves the panera which is a sandwich place. Sometimes they have fairly cute girls working there and such. Honestly for me my best bet is going back to school again so i shouldn't even really try until then.

Btw if you want to hear creepy i once was in class and a random girl i never talked to walked right in and pretended to be my girlfriend (this was during a lab). I was in mild shock. I remember one guy even saying he didn't know i had a girlfriend. Yeah i wish someone let me know too. It was the only time it happened but i don't really hate her (though i don't think i want to talk to her but i wouldn't absolutely avoid her unless she got way weirder). She was at one point in a class i was in. I didn't know she was that into me to pretend that. I honestly thought it was a practical joke.

 flamingkillamajig wrote:

 Easy E wrote:
Well, I have heard many people do the same sort of thing on first dates. Talk way too much and overly fawn over the other person. They think that will get them another date with someone.

They are wrong. It is just a sign of someone who is oozing desperation. It is very unattractive and unnerving.

Yeah it is but they may also need some help. Hopefully they have other chances with other people.

I mean for me the most i get out is just going to games workshop, panera, the gym and my job at a factory.

Well, if you actually want to meet more girls, then you will have to go to more places and put in a bit more of an effort. Sorry, relationships don't just happen despite what the movies, video games and TV tell you.

Protip: If you want to have a relationship, first you have to meet them.

 Peregrine wrote:

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:
Still not sure whether I am annoying her and she is just being polite and I should stop or if she is just really too busy with the article and I am being paranoid...

So back off for a while and see what happens. Someone who is genuinely interested will probably make an effort to keep the friendship/relationship going (since you work together there are plenty of opportunities to at least have a brief conversation), someone who is tired of you and just doing the bare minimum to avoid being rude won't.

After more than one month of barely saying hi, she actually did engage a conversation today while I was getting back to my bike, asking me if I had done my PhD defense yet. I have no idea what this means.

Sounds like she was asking whether you'd presented your PhD thesis. Quite straightforward

Sounds like she may have appreciated the attention you were giving her Oxayotl.

 Easy E wrote:

 flamingkillamajig wrote:

 Easy E wrote:
Well, I have heard many people do the same sort of thing on first dates. Talk way too much and overly fawn over the other person. They think that will get them another date with someone.

They are wrong. It is just a sign of someone who is oozing desperation. It is very unattractive and unnerving.

Yeah it is but they may also need some help. Hopefully they have other chances with other people.

I mean for me the most i get out is just going to games workshop, panera, the gym and my job at a factory.

Well, if you actually want to meet more girls, then you will have to go to more places and put in a bit more of an effort. Sorry, relationships don't just happen despite what the movies, video games and TV tell you.

Protip: If you want to have a relationship, first you have to meet them.

Yeah i noticed that myself. Hopefully it could also get my mind off that girl i used to love that seemed to like me way back. She was the perfect gamer girlfriend. Attractive curvy girl with features, pervy, likes warhammer 40k and played the same army as me (imperial guard) and was a pretty big gamer that liked nerdy stuff like command and conquer and firefly. Basically she was perfect as i said. She even had a sense of humor which is great because i could make her laugh and did so often (even if it didn't take much to make her laugh according to her). I think she wanted attention from everybody though. You know those girls that say pervy stuff to get guys to pay attention to them. Yeah she was one. Anyway i think i did something stupid a while back and from then on she never spoke to me again. Just wish i could've told and showed her how sorry i was. It's been some years though. I've pretty much figured i'll never meet a girl that perfect again. Oh well i guess some people you want to date are just out of reach.

More on to dating i think it'll help me a ton to get my head straight. I mean in my physics class girls were fairly interested in me. I made sure when they saw me in the classroom i usually looked decent at least and clean. A little effort helps. Just couldn't really get interested in any of the girls though i know some were interested. Funny thing is i called up one of the girls from the physics class and she seemed really flattered when i asked her out. That said she had a boyfriend so she couldn't do anything. She told me i should probably go on a dating site because that's what she used for her last two relationships.

As for Ashiraya i'm not that into her like some of you seem to be. She's alright but she's fairly plain in comparison to the girl i used to like. Let me just say the girl i liked showed a bikini pic of herself and holy crap she was hot. Back to Ashiraya though i don't really feel anything there. She's more just a girl that happens to like warhammer. I mean i might game with her but i don't feel any sort of connection. I'm sorry if i seem a bit uninterested but if you knew the girl i used to know you'd probably understand.

Oh and sorry if i seemed to obsess a bit on that girl from way back. I would rather forget about her these days since i can't have her.

I think you were overthinking a quip there... :p

Personally, I'm starting to go back to this whole, 'single girls are a myth' thing :p

Or at least, single girls who don't frequent the lowest common denominator of refreshment establishments anyhows...

In any pub (and even the occasional *shudder* club) I've been to over the Christmas period (and there's been a few, surprisingly this year), I've generally found the guys to girl-who-might-be-reasonably-thought-to-be-single ratio is about oh, 7 to 1?

I do occasionally look at POF and Okcupid too and even there, the odds seem pretty long, even mathematically.

 Compel wrote:
I think you were overthinking a quip there... :p

Personally, I'm starting to go back to this whole, 'single girls are a myth' thing :p

Or at least, single girls who don't frequent the lowest common denominator of refreshment establishments anyhows...

In any pub (and even the occasional *shudder* club) I've been to over the Christmas period (and there's been a few, surprisingly this year), I've generally found the guys to girl-who-might-be-reasonably-thought-to-be-single ratio is about oh, 7 to 1?

I do occasionally look at POF and Okcupid too and even there, the odds seem pretty long, even mathematically.

I think the issue is girls have things they like which are more intended for women. My problem is i want a girl that likes the stuff i like but more likely i'll have to find one that likes a bunch of stuff girls tend to like. Also if i want a girl that likes what i like it most likely can't be gaming and definitely can't be warhammer. Those girls are just impossible to get. Odds of getting them are way too low.

If nothing else works for you then go to college a bit. Some colleges have plenty of good looking and available women.

Guys, as much as I appreciate being recognised, the thread isn't about me and it's not mine to steal all the spotlight.

Keep on posting though, it's interesting to read.

 Ashiraya wrote:
Guys, as much as I appreciate being recognised, the thread isn't about me and it's not mine to steal all the spotlight.

Keep on posting though, it's interesting to read.

It helped boost your confidence though didn't it?

the purpose of dating is finding a partner yes? well you don't want some one who thinks just like you or always agrees with you. you don't want to date a really submissive person...well, you might. but I feel as tough if you were too similar to your partner the relationship just wouldn't be much. I feel as tough there has to be a little opposing force, you know?

At nearly 30, (another shudder), the whole 'go to college a bit' piece of advice doesn't exactly work anymore.

But seriously, at college / university, that advice really does work. My uni had 10-15,000 people inside it, including societies / clubs for all manner of geeky things, including gaming and p&p rp clubs. - That's the best chance there.

Unfortunately, due to various reasons, I wasn't lucky enough to be one of those 'found the love of my life at university' type people.

 flamingkillamajig wrote:

 Ashiraya wrote:
Guys, as much as I appreciate being recognised, the thread isn't about me and it's not mine to steal all the spotlight.

Keep on posting though, it's interesting to read.

It helped boost your confidence though didn't it?

Undoubtedly. I hope I did not come across as being ungrateful.

@Ashiraya: I just hope i didn't direct too much of what i said at you. There's this weird rule on the dakka forums where if you direct something at somebody too much or direct too much attention at said person you can get in trouble. I was once banned for two weeks for it and not given a warning in my messages for what i did. I was very confused. I've never seen another forum with that rule in all the forums i've been on.

@Compel: True but you can go to a community college. Community colleges have people of all ages. I'm 27 currently but i don't mind going to my community college and meeting women here. Some of these girls are like 19 though. Just wish they were a little older. I may actually be in a different age group since i live on my own and have a job as well as cook.

 daedalus wrote:
...and so I've been getting messages from a number I don't recognize. At first I thought it was the girl I was dating some 6 months ago, but I got rid of that number knowing I'd never need it again. Immediately asked me about how my dating of people has been lately. Started to get a little paranoid and responded very guardedly. Ther person then sent a few more texts, and the language and habits of the text messages got veeerry familiar. I... I think the one I went out with the other day literally just sent me text messages from a number I didn't recognize pretending to be someone else asking me how the date went. I think I need a drink.

Missed opportunity here, to test the situation you should have run with a fake but realistic sounding date to see if she flipped out. If the girl you went out with was a brunette you start talking about a nice redhead or blonde you just met. Not over the top girl of your dreams type bluffing, but reasonable and sound sort of interested but not head over heels. Then she either flips out revealing the ruse or she gets more interested as she perceives that there is competition and women want nothing more than to tear a potential prize away from another woman.

Women get excited by the prospect of a guy who other women are interested in, which is why they chase married guys or guys out on dates or hanging out with other women because if those women see something of perceived value then it triggers something in their subconscious that he is worth the chase. If they see a guy without the company of a woman they are more likely to think that he has nothing to offer. Even if they don't admit to it women like to compete, a lot.

I used to hang with one of my friends, who was quite attractive but just a friend. Other women would assume we were on a date because we'd be laughing and talking with actual interest and I'd constantly get slipped numbers or have women hit on me while she was away getting drinks or in the bathroom. When I was out on my own it didn't happen like that but a woman (or woman implied through text) can be the greatest wing man ever as it rouses their subconscious want to win.

 A Town Called Malus wrote:
Sounds like she was asking whether you'd presented your PhD thesis. Quite straightforward

You have an eye for detail!
Let us put it another way. Why is she interested in knowing whether or not I presented my PhD thesis?

 angelofvengeance wrote:
Sounds like she may have appreciated the attention you were giving her Oxayotl.

Yeah, but why did she barely talked to me for so long?

 flamingkillamajig wrote:
As for Ashiraya i'm not that into her like some of you seem to be. She's alright but she's fairly plain in comparison to the girl i used to like. Let me just say the girl i liked showed a bikini pic of herself and holy crap she was hot. Back to Ashiraya though i don't really feel anything there. She's more just a girl that happens to like warhammer. I mean i might game with her but i don't feel any sort of connection. I'm sorry if i seem a bit uninterested but if you knew the girl i used to know you'd probably understand.

I have very good news for you: I am pretty sure Ashiraya is no more into you than you are into her. Is that not awesome?
(Beside, we have only seen her face, so we have no idea how she compares to… some hypothetical picture of some unknown woman in a bikini that you are saying is hot.)

So while in 2013 i failed miserably with girls, in 2014 i have realized when approaching a girl in places like clubs. always try to approach her immediately after you look at each other or atleast within 3 secs or she will think of you as an insecure loser, and try to be natural when approaching, i usually like openers such as can you lend me[insertsomethinghere, usually a lighter], with that outta way i simply brainstorm, knowing at best we will like each other, at worst she will feth me off. Big deal. She isn't the only solo lady in the place.
In my opinion if i mess up the approach there is no way she is gonna find me attractive even if i looked like younger version of Bradd Pitt. So just try to keep calm while approaching and your chances increase dramatically...
and another thing i realized, worth mentioning. If you want to find a "prone to wandering(as to not use swear words )" girl, act like an a-hole. If you want to impress a lady act like yourself and be polite
@Paulson games: that sounds like an interesting trick, shame that i have no female friends who listen to thrash/speed/black metal...(the music they play in these 2 more or less sane clubs in my city where i can feel safe without fear of getting into drunken brawl)

 paulson games wrote:

Missed opportunity here, to test the situation you should have run with a fake but realistic sounding date to see if she flipped out. If the girl you went out with was a brunette you start talking about a nice redhead or blonde you just met. Not over the top girl of your dreams type bluffing, but reasonable and sound sort of interested but not head over heels. Then she either flips out revealing the ruse or she gets more interested as she perceives that there is competition and women want nothing more than to tear a potential prize away from another woman.

Women get excited by the prospect of a guy who other women are interested in, which is why they chase married guys or guys out on dates or hanging out with other women because if those women see something of perceived value then it triggers something in their subconscious that he is worth the chase. If they see a guy without the company of a woman they are more likely to think that he has nothing to offer. Even if they don't admit to it women like to compete, a lot.

I used to hang with one of my friends, who was quite attractive but just a friend. Other women would assume we were on a date because we'd be laughing and talking with actual interest and I'd constantly get slipped numbers or have women hit on me while she was away getting drinks or in the bathroom. When I was out on my own it didn't happen like that but a woman (or woman implied through text) can be the greatest wing man ever as it rouses their subconscious want to win.

You raise a good point, but I don't think I was really that much in to her to begin with. Also, I've been kicking myself today for not saying she was a total psycho and seeing what the response was from the "real" number.

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:

 A Town Called Malus wrote:
Sounds like she was asking whether you'd presented your PhD thesis. Quite straightforward

You have an eye for detail!
Let us put it another way. Why is she interested in knowing whether or not I presented my PhD thesis?

It's a conversation starter, if nothing else, and one that shows she pays attention to what you do. You're looking at it too literally, kinda like Drax here: