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Im trying to find them, they seem to hide.

 Albatross wrote:

 daedalus wrote:

 hotsauceman1 wrote:
KNOCK THAT OFF RIGHT NOW. Do not make the goal of dating 'to find a stable relationship'. I don't know where that stuff comes from, but I reckon it's from one of two places, either:

You have heard a lot of women say it on TV and in bad films and gone 'well, if that's what women are looking for, that's what I'll do - I'll be what every women is looking for: Stability.'

Good post. I think you really hit on something. If something is not right in your life, a relationship will not help it but only make it worse.

I will also echo that what girls want, at first is excitement and mystery so they are not boared. Give them some of that.

All that being said, I don't necessarily agree that Albatross' method of going out and partying it up is the only way to do it. It is simply a way suited to some people, and typically, fit, extroverted people. That isn;t me, so using Albie's strategy for me would not work. I was much more successful when I went out to smaller, intimate gatherings or events. I was able to use my strengths to my advantage, strengths like quick wit, telling stories, asking questions, and listening. I was able to be interesting and exciting by asking people to think, be genuinely interested in what they thought/felt, and then builduing on it. The action dates I would invite them too didn't hurt either.

What I'm trying to say is, make sure you know who you are a bit, what your strengths are, and put yourself in situations where your strengths work to yoru advantage. Then, deliver some excitement and adventure and you are good to go.

Ok, just to make it clear, my goal isn't a stable relationship right off the bat, I know that is dumb but I do not want booty call night after night like my friend said I should do, he sleeps with a different women every night.
Also, that quote is weird.

I don't think I've ever been called 'fit' in my life!

Thanks .
Which other one?
Albatross, I think tomorrow I will put the underpants you said are better earlier in this thread. Because why not ?

 Albatross wrote:
I don't think I've ever been called 'fit' in my life!

Well, you have been now, there is a first for everything!
You do seem fit enough to me.

@Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl: So it seems things worked out for you. I'm happy to hear that.

@Easy E: So excitement and mystery? You're saying i should be some sort of secret agent then? So should i dress up in a tuxedo, fake a british accent and get us out of the house after i rig the house to blow up on a timer? Would that work?

.

 daedalus wrote:
Got talked into not being so judgmental about the crazy chick from a few pages ago, and went on another date. She found out where I live as a result of it (indiscretion on my part that won't happen again) and so when I broke it off today, I had someone knocking on my door 20 minutes later. That was a surprise.

Finally got rid of her, but man, I may need a break after that one. Two dates and apparently there was an us I was backing out on...

They have an actual condition or just clingy? Either way it's a good idea if it feels suffocating or too much.

 daedalus wrote:
Got talked into not being so judgmental about the crazy chick from a few pages ago, and went on another date. She found out where I live as a result of it (indiscretion on my part that won't happen again) and so when I broke it off today, I had someone knocking on my door 20 minutes later. That was a surprise.

Finally got rid of her, but man, I may need a break after that one. Two dates and apparently there was an us I was backing out on...

Yeah i actually didn't want you to date her. I wanted you to merely just understand where she was coming from and tell her what she did wrong so she wouldn't do it again.

I kind of wish there was some girls here that wanted a date but that's a bad idea. Internet plus warhammer and distance to the relationship isn't really good. I say warhammer because let's face it more guys than girls play no matter how much we wish it was more 50/50. Anyway point being there's a horde of guys for every girl and i don't like fighting gladiatorial arena battles with all the guys just to prove to one girl i'm worth it. I'd prefer just a few people to compete against. It's just not worth it.

Anyway i'm waiting for next school semester to start. I figure that's the best plan esp. since my close friends often don't like going out where women might be.

.

 daedalus wrote:

 n0t_u wrote:

They have an actual condition or just clingy? Either way it's a good idea if it feels suffocating or too much.

No clue. She wouldn't take no for an answer though. Had to shut the door on her. Heh ...after two dates.

If it happens again, I guess I'm going to have to call the police. Not getting a lot of sleep tonight though. At least now I see what happens when I don't go with my gut.

I'm sorry man. I hope i didn't contribute to that bad situation. I just wanted you to see her side a bit. It's really just a sh*tty situation for everybody.

 flamingkillamajig wrote:

Yeah i actually didn't want you to date her. I wanted you to merely just understand where she was coming from and tell her what she did wrong so she wouldn't do it again.

Not faulting you. Friend of mine reminded me about how cynical and judgmental I was. Told me to be bold and give it a shot. I tried explaining the situation and why I was done, and she tried to argue it with me. Kept begging me not to leave when I went inside.

I think she was a genuine nutcase.

 daedalus wrote:

 flamingkillamajig wrote:

Yeah i actually didn't want you to date her. I wanted you to merely just understand where she was coming from and tell her what she did wrong so she wouldn't do it again.

Not faulting you. Friend of mine reminded me about how cynical and judgmental I was. Told me to be bold and give it a shot. I tried explaining the situation and why I was done, and she tried to argue it with me. Kept begging me not to leave when I went inside.

I think she was a genuine nutcase.

She must be super lonely with a really sucky life to go to those lengths or possibly you're a real catch but i don't understand how two dates would be enough for that. At least she isn't inflicting self harm or harm to others. I hope she's not one of those.

.

@daedalus: Just curious how you're a catch though. I don't mean to be rude i'd just like to know. Some people are a little arrogant and some see themselves really badly. Then again you said a little of both rather than a lot so maybe you're just a bit of a catch. It's hard for me to judge without knowing you.

As far as this girl it sounds like she's at a pretty low point. Perhaps you should tell her friends to help her out and to make sure she leaves you alone? Maybe tell her friends to sort of go out with her and wingman (wing-woman?) her?

Hopefully this doesn't make your situation worse. I would like to point out i'm lonely myself and am terrible with the women i tend to go for. Oddly enough i feel like the more a woman isn't interested the more i give a crap only because of perceived worth. Whereas when i know them some turn out to be not too great after all. Guess it's the same way with girls choosing guys. I dunno. Maybe it's a person thing rather than a girl thing.

.

 daedalus wrote:

 n0t_u wrote:

They have an actual condition or just clingy? Either way it's a good idea if it feels suffocating or too much.

No clue. She wouldn't take no for an answer though. Had to shut the door on her. Heh ...after two dates.

If it happens again, I guess I'm going to have to call the police. Not getting a lot of sleep tonight though. At least now I see what happens when I don't go with my gut.

And mine.

 flamingkillamajig wrote:
@Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl: So it seems things worked out for you. I'm happy to hear that.

@Easy E: So excitement and mystery? You're saying i should be some sort of secret agent then? So should i dress up in a tuxedo, fake a british accent and get us out of the house after i rig the house to blow up on a timer? Would that work?

Well, if that's your style. Go for it.

I just liked taking girls out on action dates. You know, dates where you have to do physical things together like dance classes, rock climbing, water fall hunting, star gazing, etc.

I have a bit of a problem... I think I'm fallin for one of those girls I was complainin/frustrated about earlier.

This one in particular is a friends ex, they dated for a few months a couple years ago before breaking it off on mutual terms. He was kind of upset about it at the time, but they remained friends and are currently roommates (along with 3 other good friends of mine). I suspect that he's still somewhat hoping to make something happen there, but I'm not really sure.

Anyway, I can't quite figure out WHY I'm falling for her... I mean, we have this great chemistry, shes fun to hang out with, etc. but I dont know. Shes not at all my type in really any sort of metric. Like, basically my polar opposite in just about every way. I KNOW that anything involving the two of us is destined to crash and burn because we are, or at least shouldn't be, compatible in any sense of the term. Beyond that, I don't find her attractive... yet I am attracted to her. Like, I think she's dangerously skinny, borderline anorexic... her body would have a very nice hourglass shape to it if she had a chest or an ass (even she admits that shes flat). She has a noticeable overbite (very noticeable, her mouth is rarely fully closed and as such you can always see her front teeth, I'm actually not sure if she CAN close her mouth), her nose is humped (as in it looks like it was broken at some point and is angular, kind of like mine actually), she doesn't really know how to dress or really take very good care of herself in general (though her makeup game is on point), her skin doesn't look like its seen sunlight in years, etc. etc. etc.

And yet, I still find her incredibly beautiful, despite the fact that her individual features aren't considered conventionally attractive, somehow taken as a whole in conjunction with one another, it all just... somehow works. I can't explain it.... I think it might be her hair (thick head of straight jet black hair slightly beyond shoulder length, it frames her white skin almost perfectly and really helps to highlight her hazel green eyes (which are actually probably her nicest feature, and most likely would be on almost any girl, as they are, individually, remarkably beautiful).

And yeah, I'm terribly torn and confused about her, and feel pretty vulnerable when I'm with her. I rather much hate it.

chaos0xomega wrote:

And yeah, I'm terribly torn and confused about her, and feel pretty vulnerable when I'm with her. I rather much hate it.

If she sits on your hand, and it's feels like a horse eating grain out of it, then she's interested.

Seriously though, if you don't like your friend that much, go get that. If you do like your friend that much, ask him, and then go get that. Just because she's not what other people think is attractive doesn't mean that you can't be attracted to her, and you don't always need to know the reason why. That kind of crap isn't stuff you can logic through.

chaos0xomega wrote:
{physical features}

Stop over-thinking it. If you're attracted to her you're attracted to her. You don't need to waste time listing all the reasons why they obvious truth can't possibly be true because it would conflict with your rules for finding people attractive.

.

Do you remember that news story about a crazy ex and a chimney or whatever.

Have fun sleeping tonight...

No seriously though, your take on it was very mature and you handled it well, considering.

Also I don't understand the hate on distance? It saved my relationship while in the service. Helped keep Jody away (though that is normally what he uses to steal your girl,) though it has been a bit harder and more expensive admittedly.

This... probably isn't going to help people. I'm keeping my ranting off here.

I don't expect people to unquote me, but I'd appreciate it.

 daedalus wrote:

chaos0xomega wrote:

And yeah, I'm terribly torn and confused about her, and feel pretty vulnerable when I'm with her. I rather much hate it.

If she sits on your hand, and it's feels like a horse eating grain out of it, then she's interested.

Seriously though, if you don't like your friend that much, go get that. If you do like your friend that much, ask him, and then go get that. Just because she's not what other people think is attractive doesn't mean that you can't be attracted to her, and you don't always need to know the reason why. That kind of crap isn't stuff you can logic through.

I love my friend to death, I don't want to put him on the spot to begin with. Also, I think you're misunderstanding me. I don't find her attractive. In fact, I find her the opposite of attractive, I generally find her repulsive, and some part of me is disgusted by her (shes done more drugs than anyone I know, she'd probably give Hunter S. Thompson a run for his money. Shes also slept around, a lot, which isn't in itself an issue, but some of the guys just look nasty)... yet I am still attracted to her.

The only way I know how to respond to that is in song:

double date yesterday went well.

Okay, so actually, I had a one-night-stand yesterday. Which is weird. Not completely unexpected given how she answered some of the OkCupid questions,but… I do not know, the idea just seemed too surreal to me for me to really picture it actually happening. Anyhow she was super nice and kind and helpful and respectful so that was great.
I should apparently go see a doctor because (spoilered for anatomical details, I hope it is still okay for Dakka)
The sex was… okay, I guess, but somehow I enjoyed just cuddling after it much, much more.

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:
Okay, so actually, I had a one-night-stand yesterday. Which is weird. Not completely unexpected given how she answered some of the OkCupid questions,but… I do not know, the idea just seemed too surreal to me for me to really picture it actually happening. Anyhow she was super nice and kind and helpful and respectful so that was great.
I should apparently go see a doctor because (spoilered for anatomical details, I hope it is still okay for Dakka)

Spoiler:

my foreskin is a bit too tight and therefore I cannot retract it or else it gets painful.

The sex was… okay, I guess, but somehow I enjoyed just cuddling after it much, much more.

That sounds like you're a good guy to be honest. I imagine that when you're in a proper relationship the cuddling is *more important than the sex. but I dunno I seem to have really romanticised views or rather very traditional views according to some of my friends.

 Hybrid Son Of Oxayotl wrote:
Okay, so actually, I had a one-night-stand yesterday. Which is weird. Not completely unexpected given how she answered some of the OkCupid questions,but… I do not know, the idea just seemed too surreal to me for me to really picture it actually happening. Anyhow she was super nice and kind and helpful and respectful so that was great.
I should apparently go see a doctor because (spoilered for anatomical details, I hope it is still okay for Dakka)

Spoiler:

my foreskin is a bit too tight and therefore I cannot retract it or else it gets painful.

The sex was… okay, I guess, but somehow I enjoyed just cuddling after it much, much more.

Wow i'm surprised i turned out to be right. Interesting. I was kind of just kidding but sure enough it happened. Way to go. Well we'll see if she's a good match for you. Dunno what to think of the bit after the sex.

When a buddy of mine had his first time he noticed some sickness issues so maybe that can be a normal thing. Turned out nothing was wrong with him.