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2014/07/25 15:34:45
Subject: Russia Has Lost Contact With Its Gecko Sex Satellite
What began as a pleasure cruise has turned into a crisis as Russia attempts to reestablish control of a scientific satellite carrying five geckos, which are part of an experiment to study the effects of zero-gravity on animal mating.
Less than a week after the Foton-M4 satellite was launched into space for a 60-day mission, it stopped responding to commands from Russia's mission control. Engineers are busily working to reestablish a connection with the spacecraft's operating system, which is currently on autopilot. If they fail to regain control, they won't be able to safely land the craft.
For the time being, the satellite of love is still transmitting data, allowing scientists to watch video footage of the five geckos — four females and one male — as they continue their orbit around the Earth.
As the Moscow Times reports, this is the latest in a series of embarrassments for the Russian space program:
The disruption follows a massive equipment failure aboard the Bion-M satellite last year that killed most of the gerbils, mice and fish it was carrying, and the crashing down to Earth of the Phobos-Grunt probe shortly after its launch in 2011 on an ambitious mission to collect surface samples from one of the Martian moons.
"Another off-nominal situation with a spacecraft is a sign of a systematic crisis in the industry," says Ivan Moiseyev, the research chief at the Institute for Space Politics.
In a few years, that thing is going to re-enter earth and we'll be overrun by cosmic powered, sex-crazed geckos.
What began as a pleasure cruise has turned into a crisis as Russia attempts to reestablish control of a scientific satellite carrying five geckos, which are part of an experiment to study the effects of zero-gravity on animal mating.
Less than a week after the Foton-M4 satellite was launched into space for a 60-day mission, it stopped responding to commands from Russia's mission control. Engineers are busily working to reestablish a connection with the spacecraft's operating system, which is currently on autopilot. If they fail to regain control, they won't be able to safely land the craft.
For the time being, the satellite of love is still transmitting data, allowing scientists to watch video footage of the five geckos — four females and one male — as they continue their orbit around the Earth.
As the Moscow Times reports, this is the latest in a series of embarrassments for the Russian space program:
The disruption follows a massive equipment failure aboard the Bion-M satellite last year that killed most of the gerbils, mice and fish it was carrying, and the crashing down to Earth of the Phobos-Grunt probe shortly after its launch in 2011 on an ambitious mission to collect surface samples from one of the Martian moons.
"Another off-nominal situation with a spacecraft is a sign of a systematic crisis in the industry," says Ivan Moiseyev, the research chief at the Institute for Space Politics.
In a few years, that thing is going to re-enter earth and we'll be overrun by cosmic powered, sex-crazed geckos.
Horny space lizard invasion?
2014/07/25 15:45:08
Subject: Re:Russia Has Lost Contact With Its Gecko Sex Satellite
In a few years, that thing is going to re-enter earth and we'll be overrun by cosmic powered, sex-crazed geckos.
Well, I suppose that would make the furries happy, at least.
Emperor's Eagles (undergoing Chapter reorganization)
Caledonian 95th (undergoing regimental reorganization)
Thousands Sons (undergoing Warband re--- wait, are any of my 40K armies playable?)
2014/07/25 16:11:37
Subject: Russia Has Lost Contact With Its Gecko Sex Satellite
Soladrin wrote: Don't worry, the UK says they will have a Spaceport in 2018.
It is amaxing and horrifying that in this thread, that comment sounds like an innuendo.
On topic- now we know where the Space Pope comes from!
Klawz-Ramming is a subset of citrus fruit?
Gwar- "And everyone wants a bigger Spleen!"
Mercurial wrote:
I admire your aplomb and instate you as Baron of the Seas and Lord Marshall of Privateers.
Orkeosaurus wrote:Star Trek also said we'd have X-Wings by now. We all see how that prediction turned out.
Orkeosaurus, on homophobia, the nature of homosexuality, and the greatness of George Takei.
English doesn't borrow from other languages. It follows them down dark alleyways and mugs them for loose grammar.
2014/07/25 16:14:39
Subject: Russia Has Lost Contact With Its Gecko Sex Satellite
Manchu - "But so what? The Bible also says the flood destroyed the world. You only need an allegorical boat to tackle an allegorical flood."
Shespits "Anything i see with YOLO has half naked eleventeen year olds Girls. And of course booze and drugs and more half naked elventeen yearolds Girls. O how i wish to YOLO again!"
Rubiksnoob "Next you'll say driving a stick with a Scandinavian supermodel on your lap while ripping a bong impairs your driving. And you know what, I'M NOT GOING TO STOP, YOU FILTHY COMMUNIST"
2014/07/25 20:43:06
Subject: Re:Russia Has Lost Contact With Its Gecko Sex Satellite
Bullockist wrote: if russian was building it there would be none, in fact they might need to shoot down an air liner to get the required fuel tanks (too soon?)
5000pts 
6000pts 
3000pts
Emperor's Eagles (undergoing Chapter reorganization)
Thousands Sons (undergoing Warband re--- wait, are any of my 40K armies playable?) 
Enough too have fun
