Switch Theme:

Seattle Police Need Help Capturing Masked Villian.  [RSS] Share on facebook Share on Twitter Submit to Reddit
»
Author Message
Advert


Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you:
  • No adverts like this in the forums anymore.
  • Times and dates in your local timezone.
  • Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance.
  • Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely.
  • Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net.
If you are already a member then feel free to login now.




Made in us
Most Glorious Grey Seer





Everett, WA

From the "I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried" file. And, no, we're not talking about Spiderman.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/masturbation/seattle-cops-hunt-creepy-nightcrawler-189307

Police Need Your Help In Capturing "Masked Masturbator" Who Is Targeting Seattle Residence



Seattle police are seeking the public’s help in identifying a suspected serial masturbator who publicly pleasures himself while disguising his identity with a makeshift ninja outfit.

Cops first learned of the masked pervert in January, after a woman called 911 to report that a man was “masturbating outside the front door of her home.” Cops responding to the scene were unable to locate the suspect.

Last month, a night vision camera outside the woman’s residence recorded the suspect again pleasuring himself next to the front door. As seen above and below, the surveillance images--which captured the masked masturbator in the act--show him dressed head-to-toe in dark clothing (the night vision camera makes dark colors appear white).

As seen above, the suspect was wearing a pair of rubberized five toe shoes.

Residents of the targeted home are University of Washington students who say that they have “heard suspicious sounds outside their house on several occasions,” according to cops. Investigators believe that the masked masturbator may have been at the residence four times over the past several months.

Anyone with information about the creepy nightcrawler is asked to contact police at (206) 684-5575.






 
   
Made in ca
Longtime Dakkanaut




Building a blood in water scent



"Sigh... that's not what I meant when I said, wax on, wax off, Daniel-san."

We were once so close to heaven, St. Peter came out and gave us medals; declaring us "The nicest of the damned".

“Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.'” 
   
Made in gb
[DCM]
Et In Arcadia Ego





Canterbury

.... Fair play with regards to the outfit at least.



The poor man really has a stake in the country. The rich man hasn't; he can go away to New Guinea in a yacht. The poor have sometimes objected to being governed badly; the rich have always objected to being governed at all
We love our superheroes because they refuse to give up on us. We can analyze them out of existence, kill them, ban them, mock them, and still they return, patiently reminding us of who we are and what we wish we could be.
"the play's the thing wherein I'll catch the conscience of the king,
 
   
Made in us
[DCM]
.







Could be...Future Foundation Spidey?!?

   
Made in us
Fixture of Dakka






I'm sure this will get a lot of lolposts, but I find it sick and not a joking matter. Hopefully he is caught soon. I can't imagine how it makes the victims feel.

"The Omnissiah is my Moderati" 
   
Made in us
Pyromaniac Hellhound Pilot





That's the wrong rubberized footwear - he should be wearing crocs.

No, but seriously. Hope they catch him soon.
   
Made in us
Ancient Ultramarine Venerable Dreadnought






Illinois

Very Interesting.

Hope he's caught.

INSANE army lists still available!!!! Now being written in 8th edition format! I have Index Imperium 1, Index Imperium 2, Index Xenos 2, Codex Orks Codex Tyranids, Codex Blood Angels and Codex Space Marines!
PM me for an INSANE (100K+ points) if you desire.
 
   
Made in us
[DCM]
.







There's no doubt he'll be caught soon.

(And this is definitely one of those things that Dakka Dakka could have done without, but...here we are.)
   
Made in gb
Ultramarine Librarian with Freaky Familiar





I propose we officially label him Fapman.

na na na na na na na Fap Man!

Spoiler:


Is he spanking through the letter box?

Seriously though, thats just weird...And risky. What if theres a dog in the house?

This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2016/03/15 18:45:42


 
   
Made in gb
Avatar of the Bloody-Handed God






Inside your mind, corrupting the pathways

He is just waiting for the long arm of the law to reach around and grab him.

Seriously strange person; hopefully he is caught soon and given treatment for his problem.

   
Made in us
Last Remaining Whole C'Tan






Pleasant Valley, Iowa

He's the hero this city needs.


 lord_blackfang wrote:
Respect to the guy who subscribed just to post a massive ASCII dong in the chat and immediately get banned.

 Flinty wrote:
The benefit of slate is that its.actually a.rock with rock like properties. The downside is that it's a rock
 
   
Made in us
5th God of Chaos! (Yea'rly!)




The Great State of Texas

 Nostromodamus wrote:
I'm sure this will get a lot of lolposts, but I find it sick and not a joking matter. Hopefully he is caught soon. I can't imagine how it makes the victims feel.


Indeed. Put yourself in her shoes, or imagine thats your daughter this is happening to.
He's doing this now, but he'll step up and step up.

I would no bill a gal who blasted his ass with 00 buckshot through the door.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2016/03/15 19:02:26


-"Wait a minute.....who is that Frazz is talking to in the gallery? Hmmm something is going on here.....Oh.... it seems there is some dispute over video taping of some sort......Frazz is really upset now..........wait a minute......whats he go there.......is it? Can it be?....Frazz has just unleashed his hidden weiner dog from his mini bag, while quoting shakespeares "Let slip the dogs the war!!" GG
-"Don't mind Frazzled. He's just Dakka's crazy old dude locked in the attic. He's harmless. Mostly."
-TBone the Magnificent 1999-2014, Long Live the King!
 
   
Made in us
The Conquerer






Waiting for my shill money from Spiral Arm Studios

 Shadow Captain Edithae wrote:
I propose we officially label him Fapman.

na na na na na na na Fap Man!

Spoiler:


Is he spanking through the letter box?

Seriously though, thats just weird...And risky. What if theres a dog in the house?


Thankfully from the earlier picture there doesn't appear to be a letter box in that door.

Self-proclaimed evil Cat-person. Dues Ex Felines

Cato Sicarius, after force feeding Captain Ventris a copy of the Codex Astartes for having the audacity to play Deathwatch, chokes to death on his own D-baggery after finding Calgar assembling his new Eldar army.

MURICA!!! IN SPESS!!! 
   
Made in gb
[DCM]
Et In Arcadia Ego





Canterbury

...Guess the big question is if it will stand up in court.






...

The poor man really has a stake in the country. The rich man hasn't; he can go away to New Guinea in a yacht. The poor have sometimes objected to being governed badly; the rich have always objected to being governed at all
We love our superheroes because they refuse to give up on us. We can analyze them out of existence, kill them, ban them, mock them, and still they return, patiently reminding us of who we are and what we wish we could be.
"the play's the thing wherein I'll catch the conscience of the king,
 
   
Made in us
Secret Force Behind the Rise of the Tau




USA

 reds8n wrote:
...Guess the big question is if it will stand up in court.






...


Why Red XD Why did you have to got here!?

   
Made in us
Decrepit Dakkanaut






I'm so fapergasted. He needs to stay on Seattle side and not cume over to the Peninn....dammit

Proud Member of the Infidels of OIF/OEF
No longer defending the US Military or US Gov't. Just going to ""**feed into your fears**"" with Duffel Blog
Did not fight my way up on top the food chain to become a Vegan...
Warning: Stupid Allergy
Once you pull the pin, Mr. Grenade is no longer your friend
DE 6700
Harlequin 2500
RIP Muhammad Ali.

Jihadin, Scorched Earth 791. Leader of the Pork Eating Crusader. Alpha


 
   
Made in us
Fixture of Dakka





West Michigan, deep in Whitebread, USA

I feel the only way to deal with him (as long as no kids are involved) is if he shows up at your house and you see him, just point and laugh.



"By this point I'm convinced 100% that every single race in the 40k universe have somehow tapped into the ork ability to just have their tech work because they think it should."  
   
Made in us
Calculating Commissar




pontiac, michigan; usa

 feeder wrote:


"Sigh... that's not what I meant when I said, wax on, wax off, Daniel-san."


Have an Exalt man.

------

Clearly with the 2nd picture in the OP I'd say he lost his keys and tried to use something else to open the door. I'm just going to go with that.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2016/03/15 21:40:45


Join skavenblight today!

http://the-under-empire.proboards.com/ (my skaven forum) 
   
Made in us
Fixture of Dakka




 Nostromodamus wrote:
I'm sure this will get a lot of lolposts, but I find it sick and not a joking matter. Hopefully he is caught soon. I can't imagine how it makes the victims feel.



Agreed. Someone like that needs to get clubbed.
   
Made in us
Androgynous Daemon Prince of Slaanesh





Norwalk, Connecticut

Relapse wrote:
 Nostromodamus wrote:
I'm sure this will get a lot of lolposts, but I find it sick and not a joking matter. Hopefully he is caught soon. I can't imagine how it makes the victims feel.



Agreed. Someone like that needs to get clubbed.


Dreadsock? Actually, wait; terrible idea bringing socks into the mix!!

Reality is a nice place to visit, but I'd hate to live there.

Manchu wrote:I'm a Catholic. We eat our God.


Due to work, I can usually only ship any sales or trades out on Saturday morning. Please trade/purchase with this in mind.  
   
Made in us
Decrepit Dakkanaut






Burtucky, Michigan

Shouldn't this go in the Ninjas wanted thread a few spots down?
   
Made in us
Fixture of Dakka





TN/AL/MS state line.

A fenced in lawn, and a big dog might be a non-violent solution to the problem...until he steps over the fence.

Black Bases and Grey Plastic Forever:My quaint little hobby blog.

40k- The Kumunga Swarm (more)
Count Mortimer’s Private Security Force/Excavation Team (building)
Kabal of the Grieving Widow (less)

Plus other games- miniature and cardboard both. 
   
Made in us
Regular Dakkanaut




 Frazzled wrote:
 Nostromodamus wrote:
I'm sure this will get a lot of lolposts, but I find it sick and not a joking matter. Hopefully he is caught soon. I can't imagine how it makes the victims feel.


Indeed. Put yourself in her shoes, or imagine thats your daughter this is happening to.
He's doing this now, but he'll step up and step up.

I would no bill a gal who blasted his ass with 00 buckshot through the door.


So we should be murdering people now for what is a non-violent crime? If he's breaking into a house and jerking it over your sleeping form you've got a leg to stand on, but blasting someone for being nude outside your house is kinda well, murder.

Some tired tripe about being a father to follow I'm sure.

   
Made in us
Grim Dark Angels Interrogator-Chaplain






A Protoss colony world

Just set up a booby trap so when he whips out his thing, some kind of stick or something whacks it. He'll learn...

My armies (re-counted and updated on 11/7/24, including modeled wargear options):
Dark Angels: ~16000 Astra Militarum: ~1200 | Imperial Knights: ~2300 | Leagues of Votann: ~1300 | Tyranids: ~3400 | Stormcast Eternals: ~5000 | Kruleboyz: ~3500 | Lumineth Realm-Lords: ~700
Check out my P&M Blogs: ZergSmasher's P&M Blog | Imperial Knights blog | Board Games blog | Total models painted in 2024: 40 | Total models painted in 2025: 29 | Current main painting project: Tomb Kings
 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
You need your bumps felt. With a patented, Grotsnik Corp Bump Feelerer 9,000.
The Grotsnik Corp Bump Feelerer 9,000. It only looks like several bricks crudely gaffer taped to a cricket bat.
Grotsnik Corp. Sorry, No Refunds.
 
   
Made in us
Fixture of Dakka





TN/AL/MS state line.

 ZergSmasher wrote:
Just set up a booby trap so when he whips out his thing, some kind of stick or something whacks it. He'll learn...

Fairly sure booby traps and such are illegal, but it surely would be effective.

Black Bases and Grey Plastic Forever:My quaint little hobby blog.

40k- The Kumunga Swarm (more)
Count Mortimer’s Private Security Force/Excavation Team (building)
Kabal of the Grieving Widow (less)

Plus other games- miniature and cardboard both. 
   
Made in us
The Conquerer






Waiting for my shill money from Spiral Arm Studios

 ZergSmasher wrote:
Just set up a booby trap so when he whips out his thing, some kind of stick or something whacks it. He'll learn...


I'm trying to envision how that would even work. Do you put up a "fap here" sign?

Self-proclaimed evil Cat-person. Dues Ex Felines

Cato Sicarius, after force feeding Captain Ventris a copy of the Codex Astartes for having the audacity to play Deathwatch, chokes to death on his own D-baggery after finding Calgar assembling his new Eldar army.

MURICA!!! IN SPESS!!! 
   
Made in gb
Ultramarine Librarian with Freaky Familiar





 Sinful Hero wrote:
 ZergSmasher wrote:
Just set up a booby trap so when he whips out his thing, some kind of stick or something whacks it. He'll learn...

Fairly sure booby traps and such are illegal, but it surely would be effective.


What about rabid dachshunds trained to go for the sausage? I'm sure Frazzled would agree.
   
Made in us
Member of the Ethereal Council






Great, Its Fappening again.
I hope this can just blow over.
Man, that would just take a load off of everything.
I mean really? I hope he just gets off my property


Automatically Appended Next Post:
 Ouze wrote:
He's the hero this city needs.


No, he is the hero we deserve.

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2016/03/16 02:03:52


5000pts 6000pts 3000pts
 
   
Made in us
Fixture of Dakka




DutchWinsAll wrote:
 Frazzled wrote:
 Nostromodamus wrote:
I'm sure this will get a lot of lolposts, but I find it sick and not a joking matter. Hopefully he is caught soon. I can't imagine how it makes the victims feel.


Indeed. Put yourself in her shoes, or imagine thats your daughter this is happening to.
He's doing this now, but he'll step up and step up.

I would no bill a gal who blasted his ass with 00 buckshot through the door.


So we should be murdering people now for what is a non-violent crime? If he's breaking into a house and jerking it over your sleeping form you've got a leg to stand on, but blasting someone for being nude outside your house is kinda well, murder.

Some tired tripe about being a father to follow I'm sure.




Maybe not a shotgun, but a nice working over with a 2 by 4 would be just the ticket. It might be a tired tripe, but I have daughters I am very protective of, and I don't think anyone should have to put up with nightly visits from animals like this guy.
   
Made in gb
Ultramarine Librarian with Freaky Familiar





 hotsauceman1 wrote:
 Ouze wrote:
He's the hero this city needs.
No, he is the hero we deserve.


But not the one we lust for right now.

This message was edited 2 times. Last update was at 2016/03/16 02:45:49


 
   
 
Forum Index » Off-Topic Forum
Go to: