Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

John Carter

I decided to go and re-watch this movie after looking at a great review of the Modiphius RPG for John Carter of Mars. It made me a bit nostalgic, but I did not want to re-read 13 Edgar Rice Burroughs books again. This was the closest thing I could find.....

You know, it is a perfectly serviceable tent pole, summer, action experience. The biggest down side that I really felt, was that the main actor was not strong enough to carry the film. Everyone else seemed to be having a fine time of it.

I can also see how some of this stuff may seem "unoriginal" now, because .... well Burroughs literally wrote the book on some of this stuff in the 1890's and early 20th century. That stuff should look a bit dated by now!

That said, some people complain a bit about the wrap-around story as well, but I kind of liked it.



The Virgin Witch

You know, a lot of people think that we live in the most "depraved" and "morally bankrupt" era in living memory. These people apparently forgot the late 60's and into the late 70's.

This was where the most depraved and exploitative stuff I have even seen has been produced! Perhaps, because it was pre-internet and you had to seek this stuff out at the drive-in that people forget just how smutty this time was for cinema. This movie falls squarely into that category, and really is nothing but exploitation and smut tied in with a weak-sauce "witch" plotline.

Man, I felt icky just watching it, and didn't make it all the way through. I even have a strong tolerance for "cult" movies, but it was just too much sexploitation for me, but your mileage may vary.

My main issue with John Carter was the main character having been changed into a mopey sad man with constant flashbacks to dead wife and kid. It’s really hard to have fun in a movie where every fun scene is interrupted with dead family trauma.



As for the 70’s…I feel like a lot of the people most worried about society’s degradation were the ones who partook too much of the sleazy drug orgies back in the day. I really don’t want to imagine how many of our parents got swingy on shag carpeting. Now they are constantly rallying against today’s kids for the youthful mistakes they enjoyed back in the day despite articles showing today’s teenagers engage in less reckless sex than previous generations.

Burial

Never before have I see such an eye catchingly cool idea for a movie, with all the potential to be both compelling, exciting, and deep.

The story is about the waning days of WWII when some Soviet troops are given the ultimate secret task; transport Hitler's dead body to Moscow.

Seriously. That's a one-stop shop for sign me up that sounds interesting.

And this movie is so incredibly fething dull. Someone else please steal this idea and give it to Tom Hanks or something. IDK. Dear god this movie is boring. How is this movie so boring? Even the action scenes are boring!

How does that sound exciting? My first thought is a dozen guys riding in a truck with a body bag running out of dark jokes about 15 minutes into the drive.

 BobtheInquisitor wrote:
How does that sound exciting? My first thought is a dozen guys riding in a truck with a body bag running out of dark jokes about 15 minutes into the drive.

Just the sheer potential for exploration!

The futility of war. The ways powerful men can sway the fates of millions in life and death. The After-War is also hell. Maybe a commentary on how Stalin and Hitler were the same kind of monster and some stuff to say about the stupid ways people use words to draw pointless categories when really they're all fething donkey-caves.

So much potential.

Such an utter bore of a film. A bunch of guys riding in a truck with a body bag telling dark jokes would have been less dull. At least I'd either laugh or roll my eyes. This movie just rolls by and you can smell the wasted potential!

Kícking and Screaming (1995)

I can't for the life of me wrap my head around the US school system. I think this one is about a group of college graduates who have no idea how where and why to go now that they're facing adulthood. They mostly hang out and talk about ...stuff whilst clinging to their college lives.

I don't think that I should tell any more about the story.

I very, very much enjoyed it. Some of the dialogue I didn't get, but that's okay. I loved the atmosphere; that mix of boredom, aloofness and sheer terror of not knowing what's to come, but being responsible for it (to avoid the wobbly term 'angst'). They have all the options in the world, which of course leads to choice paralysis and while each of them tries to deal with it in a different way they mostly view 'going back' as their only option, while it's not an option at all. And they're bascially alone with that. There barely are any parents (except for the best clueless-but-well-meaning screen dad in the world: Elliot Gould), romantic connections are fleeting at best, because nowbody knows where they'll be next year anyway.

What they do have though is talking to each other, which seems to be the only thing that gives them comfort in all that chaos unfolding. This is where the film shines: The dialogue is very funny at times, at other times melancholic, daft, unnecessary, sincere, insincere and so on. All of that good stuff.

I'm sure a ton of people wouldn't like it. In that case they can play "wait, where do I know that person from?", because that happens a lot in that film.


I can't give it a "Watch It" just becaue I liked it, but I know that many wouldn't so Take it or Leave It.

The Ninth Gate (1999)

Johnny Depp is Dean Corso, a pretty sleazy finder-and-buyer of high-price antiquarian books. Wealthy Mr.Balkan (Frank Langella, who is always a great presence on screen) - whose private library is specialized on books about the devil - hires him for LOADS of money to find out if his recently acquired copy of "The Nine Gates of the Kingdom of Shadows" from the 17th century is real or a counterfeit. As only three copies of this book survived Corso has to get access to the other two copies (owned by collectors in Italy and France respectively) and compare the books.

It's one of those films I can watch pretty much any time. I'd say it's a mystery thriller with a nice, slow pace, tons of mood, a bunch of low-key comedy and a bit of spookiness. This film would be rather dry (some will claim it is), but Depp and the excellently-cast rest of the characters give this whole thing colour. And it's just nice to watch a Johnny Depp film and not having to feel like it's a kids film, generally irritated, or just feeling bad in general for watching it.


Watch It.



As I just learned, the film is based on a novel written by the guy who wrote the Alatriste novels! It's a tiny little world, isn't it.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
In Order of Dissapearance (2014)

Norwegian film of the "Liam Neeson" genre. Needless to say that this one got remade starring Liam Neeson. It's about a snow plough driver whose son is killed with a overdose by nasty people and he goes on a revenge, fulled killing spree.

It's less violent (well, for the most part) and action-y than that may sound though. The most interesting aspect is the played-for-laughs, self-pitying Norwegian crime boss and his woes as a divorcee father and the Serbian mafia. It's all pretty dialogue-heavy, and a bit slow, but good fun overall. It's a crime comedy basically.

Oh, and it features Bruno Ganz! Woah.


Take or Leave. If you're in the mood for a Liam Neeson film, watch this one instead.

Wrong Turn (2021)

Not quite a reboot, not quite a sequel, not quite a reimagining. It’s more a film along the same vague theme as the originals, but played somewhat more straight.

In a peculiar way, it’s a more mature take on the Nutters In The Woods. There are bits of Awful Unpleasantness, but not in the titillation we’re perhaps used to from post-Hostel “Nutters in the Woods” type torture prawn.

It’s on Netflix in the U.K., and worth the watch if you like your horror with a mature take on gore and what’s actually scary.

Escape Room

Part Cube, part Saw, part Cabin In The Woods.

It’s alright I suppose. Nothing overly original, but watchable.

Strange World

Not bad. Predictable but entertaining. Decent voice acting. Some interesting imagery that might be fun to build for a particularly outlandish tabletop wargame. I found myself identifying with the grandfather. Lots of diversity which I was cool with but may come across as heavy handed to some.

@Easy E I was very surprised to see John Carter fail so miserably in the box office. I thought it was a solid film with a decent cast all around. Good special effects. I wonder if it was just released at the wrong time. The public can be fickle it seems.

Sabata -1969

This is another movie I really enjoy it feels like it would have made a fun anime movie. The plot and the characters. Lee Van Cleef is the badist man in the west as was his schtick. Here he works a plan to swindle/blackmail a powerful landowner at the center of a bank robbery.
And he does this while playing the good guy in the story, well the less than bad guy anyway.

It's good fun and remember if you want to have money, want to be rich some times you have to be a son of a .. Oh, wait that from the Sabata returns.. Also worth watching.

Transformers The Movie

It’s great. Sure to those who weren’t there it’s a glorified toy advert, I can’t deny that.

But what a wonderfully plotted toy advert. Just everything about it Is More than the TV show.

Orson Welles! Leonard Nimoy! Judd Nelson! All clearly in dire need of a new Conservatory or unexpected tax bill!

It should (like the woeful GI Joe movie, which has aged worse than something that aged badly. No. Worse than that. No no no. Still worse…..there you go!) have aged hideously. But it hasn’t.

It’s a cracker of a movie I’ll watch until my dying day, and if I have my way, and the paternal leaning toward dementia allows, it will be something I watch on my dying day.

And I’ve not even bothered to discuss the Absolute Banger of a soundtrack.

@Mad Doc Grotsnik: I remember seeing the first one on dvd back when it was new-ish and I have no idea why this turned into a series. I mean it was alright-ish, but kinda meh. I guess that - other with John Carter from Mars - it was done in just the right time, and proved cheap to make I guess. And due to the political situation in the US "people outside of the cities are scary" kept being a popular formula.

 Grumpy Gnome wrote:
Strange World

...
@Easy E I was very surprised to see John Carter fail so miserably in the box office. I thought it was a solid film with a decent cast all around. Good special effects. I wonder if it was just released at the wrong time. The public can be fickle it seems.

The usual stuff that's mentioned is "marketing had no idea what do do with it". It went through a name change or two during the marketing campaign too (or shortly before) IIRC too. I think I watched the beginning at some point, it seemed alright, but not for me.

@warhead01: Oh yes, Sabata is a classic.



For reasons I'm a fan of models, so here's a pretty cool picture I saw earlier today. It's the guy who built the model for the cabin they used in Evil Dead 2.



Pretty cool.

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
Transformers The Movie

It’s great. Sure to those who weren’t there it’s a glorified toy advert, I can’t deny that.

But what a wonderfully plotted toy advert. Just everything about it Is More than the TV show.

Orson Welles! Leonard Nimoy! Judd Nelson! All clearly in dire need of a new Conservatory or unexpected tax bill!

It should (like the woeful GI Joe movie, which has aged worse than something that aged badly. No. Worse than that. No no no. Still worse…..there you go!) have aged hideously. But it hasn’t.

It’s a cracker of a movie I’ll watch until my dying day, and if I have my way, and the paternal leaning toward dementia allows, it will be something I watch on my dying day.

And I’ve not even bothered to discuss the Absolute Banger of a soundtrack.

I remember seeing it in the theater!

You're right about the GIJOE movie too. Very sad. I'm a big fan of the comics.

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
Transformers The Movie

Orson Welles! Leonard Nimoy! Judd Nelson!

Eric Idle!

I tried sharing this marvel with some younger co-workers once. They didn't get it at all. The sheer 80s-ness of it was too much.

 Henry wrote:

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
Transformers The Movie

Orson Welles! Leonard Nimoy! Judd Nelson!

Eric Idle!

I tried sharing this marvel with some younger co-workers once. They didn't get it at all. The sheer 80s-ness of it was too much.

Probably too wussy to handle the kick ass sound track.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Doomsday

What a glorious mess of a film. It’s a very deliberate mash up of tropes. Bit of Mad Max, bit of Resi Evil, dollop of Braveheart and other references too numerous to list.

This shouldn’t even remotely work. But like the Paradise Burger from Grubbs in Brighton (beef, banana, peanut butter, pineapple)? It does.

Sure it was never in danger of bothering any award show. And it doesn’t stand out as a solid example of its many, many genres. But it’s still somehow greater than the sum of its parts.

I really cannot stress how hard this film should’ve sucked, nor how gratifying it is to know that it didn’t suck, like, at all.

The cast is great. The acting is great. The cinematography is great. The plot is absolutely all over the shop.

This film is to cinema as your gloriously eccentric Great Aunt is to society. You can’t help but adore and admire its sheer chutzpah.

True Lies

Well here’s a film I first saw years ago, popped up on Disney+.

And it’s just about perfect. Ahnald and Jamie-Lee Curtis both on top form. The comedy is solid. The action is solid, and the two sit together far better than you might expect.

Bill Paxton is a great sleazeball, and I still can’t believe that’s Eliza Dushku.

Definitely watch this one.

I saw true lies in the cinema on release. Definately one of my favourite films of all time.

To me it always was too much of a mix of genres without really going in one direction. On the other hand: TWO TIME Grammy winner Tia Carrere. I Mean it's a perfectly OK film, but it never struck me as being that good. Maybe I don't appreciate its well-roundedness enough. On the other hand: Tia Carrere.

Confession time! I have never seen True Lies all the way through in one sitting. Only bits and pieces here or there.

In my opinion it’s the perfect mix of Pierce Brosnan Bond and Roger Moore Bond. Minimum smarm. It doesn’t take itself too seriously, has some great action set pieces, a good bit of comedy and the cast have great chemistry. And someone gets fired out the front of a truck from MANPAD back blast. I just love it.

It’s ok. I think the film starts off well, keeps a good balance of humor and action for most of the movie, and then loses it in the last third, becoming almost tedious with a few moments of brilliance. I think it’s a pacing or editing issue, or just not enough of the fun characters and too much of Arnold and Jamie Lee together being less than the sun of their parts. I bet Gail Anne Hurd could have made that last act pop.

Sleepy Hollow

Another long time favourite I’ve not watched in forever. And what a cast it has. Not just lots of big names, but even Jonny Depp before he became intensely annoying!

There’s an awful awful lot to enjoy here.

 Mad Doc Grotsnik wrote:
Sleepy Hollow

Another long time favourite I’ve not watched in forever. And what a cast it has. Not just lots of big names, but even Jonny Depp before he became intensely annoying!

There’s an awful awful lot to enjoy here.

Oh yes, that's a lovely film.It looks amazing, it's got great atmosphere without feeling heavy, it's got Casper van Dien and Miranda Richardson and the bleeding tree and all. Great film.

Shinobi no mono 1 - 8 1966 - I'm not even sure. - Raizô Ichikawa

If you're a Ninja fan these are worth the watch. The first one was very good showing the devious and traitorous nature of old timey politics. Manipulation and exploitation is truly one of the lesser displayed traits of the 80's ninja films. The fights and activities of the ninja in these movies were, in the beginning, far more believable than their 80's counterparts. Later after maybe movie 5 the fights and acrobatics were far more of a spectacle. I suspect one of the movies was too slow for movie the audience so changes were made in later films to hold their attention.
Fair enough I think. The plots weren't bad and there were consequence to the actions of the ninja which continued to unfold in films after the first, in the films that followed the same timeline and characters. The same actor - Raizô Ichikawa - plays 3 different ninjas in their own story arcs.
I may be just a touch wrong about that but it's close enough. I really enjoyed seeing ninjas sneaking around getting into places they weren't suppose to be and the challenges of a particularly hard target. Some of the locations and some of the faces seen were also used in the anime Dagger of kamui which was a treat to see. a fair bit of the stories were based around real events as well so I see some of these as more like historical dramas.
I only found out about these movies because of an Antony Cummings reaction video. I'm in the middle of one of his ninja books right now, True path of the Ninja.

RRR


This is a whole lot of movie. It’s got action, comedy, romance, bromance, epic dancing and the most evil British empire since Star Wars. If you liked Commando, John Woo’s The Killer, Braveheart, Kung Fu Hustle and Breakin’ 1/2, you’ll find something to enjoy in this movie.

Volcano

It’s LA! And it’s on fire!

As disaster movies go, this one feels fairly well restrained. Whilst I doubt it’s terribly accurate, I’m not seeing anything instantly face palm.

There are bits when it all kicks off where we see Firefighters still doing their job, and at first that felt silly. But they’re doing their job, and that early on they’re not to know it’s a Volcano, and so their efforts are for naught.

Though Anne Heche (RIP) is given what feels like needless exposition regarding tectonic plates and red hot liquid mag-ma to deliver to Tommy Lee Jones, and us the audience.

I wouldn’t say it’s a classic of the disaster genre, but I guess it’s enjoyable enough.


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Deep Rising

A cult classic creature feature that might’ve swim under your radar.

This is so, so close to being outright brilliant, but it just doesn’t quite cut the mustard. And I lack the film knowledge to be able of say exactly what it is that holds it back.

I think part of it is the tone is a bit wonky. The comedy bits jar with the action, and it swings between the two fairly randomly.

The good bits are good though. Creatures are decent, and despite being a late 90’s effort, kept mysterious and mostly off screen apart from the evidence of their attacks. And y’know? The CGI holds up pretty well overall. Though the guns they have are very, very silly indeed.

Oh and it has Famke Janssen. Just as you always get points for Danny Trejo, you always always get points for Famke Janssen.

X

Thoroughly enjoyed this. Watching the trailer a few months ago I'd kind of dismissed it as just another cheap, by the numbers low budget horror, but thankfully there's a lot more to it.

Firstly, the stock of two of the leads has gone up exponentially in recent months. I'd argue at the time of filming Brittany Snow (Pitch Perfect) was probably the face most people would recognise, but fast forward a few months and Jenna Ortega (Wednesday, Scream) and Mia Goth (Pearl, Suspiria) have both enjoyed a lot of exposure.

Secondly, the reason I dismissed it as another cookie cutter low budget film is because it is meant to look like that. This film is a love letter to 70s 80s splatter and exploitation films. From the opening shot, framed as if it were being caught on 8mm, to the lighting and production, it all lovingly reproduces the look and feel of those movies, Texas Chainsaw, being the obvious touch stone.

While leaning on those films for inspiration, X isn't content with just duplicating the style, there's a meta idea going on where the characters are intent on elevating an adult movie, while the cast and crew are clearly intent on doing the same to schlock horror. The cinematography on display is often beyond what you would reasonably expect from the genre.

X isn't afraid of telling you what's going to happen, it literally opens by showing the aftermath, yet somehow still manages to pull off surprises. It may also contain the first use in film of Chekhov's alligator.

The use of such an unlikely antagonist scores points too, not only for originality but also because it creates discomfort where a run of the mill slasher wouldn't. Slasher films are often allegories for the loss of innocence and the death of childhood, but here speaks to the fear of ageing, which while no less universal than growing up, is perhaps bleaker absence the lack of any optimism for a future that has already passed.

With the usual caveats around horror not being everyone's cup of tea, X is one to seek out. I'm personally going to seek out Pearl as a matter of priority now, as a prequel, also starring Mia Goth, by the same creator (greenlit while X was still in production) I'll be interested to see more.

If you like horror-comedies starring Famke Jansen, have you seen The Faculty?

(It’s even better if you like Dropfleet/zone.)

Dio - dreamers never die
pretty interesting documentary overall
It doesn't go as in depth as one might want, but then its covering a lot of ground with the length of his career