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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III - Turtles In Time

Ah the much maligned third cinematic outing for the heroes in a half shell. First saw this probably close to 30 years ago, on a Ferry over to Belgium.

Not a great film, but by and large it is pretty entertaining. The plot is very silly, but still a welcome break from Shredder and his goons. Importantly, the fights remain nicely choreographed.

The non-turtle costumes are really solid, and it’s clear where the majority of the budget went. Confusingly though, the Turtle costumes, particularly the heads, were a major step backwards in terms of quality.

But it’s most massively let down by its uneven and wonky tone. And that I just didn’t really care about the none-turtle characters. Like. At all.

One for the completist or the curious. And probably not quite as poor as it’s reputation, but still a bit crap all the same.


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Terminus

A 1987 Mad Max 2 clone from France and Germany. It stars Karen Allen, Duke Leto Atredies, and that wee kid from Robocop 2.

Plot is that, because reasons, a sport has been invented which involves driving a truck across country to the “Terminus”, and not letting anyone stop you.

The lead truck (not that we see any competitors for the most part) is called Monster, and has AI. And a very concerning latex mouth in the dashboard for talking to its driver. Which is like a disturbing KITT - with extra “sass”

A very strange film, this. Some bits are genuinely laughable. Other bits are really rather good. I think I’d describe it as an ambitious, but not quite competent low budget flick. Certainly I’ve seen far worse, and this is for my money just on the right side of watchable without irony,

From Hell - 2001

It's a dark and grizzly story but it also reminds me of a Hannibal Lecter spin on Jack the Ripper which is interesting.

Five Nights at Freddy's, as my son is a huge fan of the franchise. Myself, I'm aware of it, but mostly ignorant beyond 'evil(er) Chuck-E Cheese'. It was a really solid PG13 horror movie. Likable chronic loser protagonist, reasonable plot twist, and Matthew Lillard! It's a very good time, and safe to watch with your young teens.

If you enjoyed Willy's Wonderland, but wished it was more of an Evil Dead, than an Army of Darkness, then this is the film for you.!

The 9th gate - 1999

My wife likes this one better than from hell. Way less bloody of a film, less grim so I get it.

It's kinda fun I think. I enjoy seeing locations that I believe I have seen before in Highlander the series. Actually that was the best bit for me in one of the last Bond movies as well.

This movie is about a book co written with Satin but there are three copies. Our lead character is employed to discover if one of them is a forgery by some kind of bizllionaire Satin enthusiast.

Ted Raimi is memorable in Wishmaster.

Gods of Egypt
Your mention of Gerard Butler reminded me I watched this. If you judge it as a knock-off of the more recent Clash of the Titans flick, it manages to hang with that film, but be worse. Gerard Butler and the lady who played Elektra in the Daredevil TV show are the stand outs.

What's that you say? The new Clash of the Titans was not very good? Yet, I think this one is worse?

Oh dear.

But…is it as bad as Wrath of the Titans, because that was really bad!

 warhead01 wrote:
The 9th gate - 1999

My wife likes this one better than from hell. Way less bloody of a film, less grim so I get it.

It's kinda fun I think. I enjoy seeing locations that I believe I have seen before in Highlander the series. Actually that was the best bit for me in one of the last Bond movies as well.

This movie is about a book co written with Satin but there are three copies. Our lead character is employed to discover if one of them is a forgery by some kind of bizllionaire Satin enthusiast.

Love the 9th gate. That's one I can watch over and over. From Hell on the otherhand I tried to watch once, but actually fell asleep, which is somethign that very rarely happens.

Of Gods of Egypt I only know the trailer, and that was WAY enough for me. I also have yet to see a Gerard Butler film I like.

Saw X

The X is for 10. Even though this is the 8th film entitled Saw, the latter two being Jigsaw (prequel, and cack) and Spiral (spin-off/reboot attempt. Is alright I guess, but pretty forgettable).

Now needless to say, if Saw isn’t your thing? Nowt to see here.

But, if like me you’re a fan, even of the later increasingly poor efforts, and particularly the earlier rather good ones? This I would say is a return to form.

This is another stab at a….prequel, I guess. Or like, Saw 3.5 or something as whilst I’m not sure exactly where it slots in, John Kramer is alive, and this clearly isn’t his first rodeo.

Speaking of John? We spend a lot more time with him in this one. And for me, it’s to the movie’s distinct benefit. As it’s more stripped down, back to basics of the original solid entries.

I got it on Amazon Home Premiere, which was admittedly an expensive option at £20, but I’m not regretting it.

Terrifier - 2016

Art the clown is easily the most gruesome of all the slasher killers. My wife says his kills remind her of some Cartel videos she's seen.

Art reminds me a lot of Harpo Marx but like a really really sick and evil Harpo. The body language is there and it's fantastic.

Weirdly this movie isn't the most disturbing movie I've seen.

Spaceballs

My son turned twelve and hadn’t seen it yet. It’s one of those movies best enjoyed by twelve year olds. Still a fun time for grown ups, if not as funny as we remember it being.


Freddy’s Dead

He wanted to see a Nightmare on Elm Street movie, and this was the least disturbing one I can think of. Freddy Krueger has gone full ham by the start of the film, and most of the older character actors know what film they’re in. The editing is surprisingly disjointed, like more distracting and awkward than seeing Roseanne and Tom Arnold cameo together.

The Scrotum

A gory horror flick. About killer Nads.

No.

Really.

Let’s face it, just from that you’ve already made up your mind about this flick!


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Renegades - 2022

A British stab at a Geri-action movie. And it’s not terribly good,

Lee Majors stars, but gets bumped off as the plot catalyst.

Soundtrack is crap. Tension is non-existent. The pacing is off. The dialogue is diabolical. The performances worse than phoned in. The editing is dreadful. Just everything about this movie is god awful. The baddies are described as a gang that have muscled their way in over all of London. All….maybe a dozen, certainly less than twenty, of them. And they’re all singularly incompetent at being menacing and deadly.

Even Seagal’s lasted cinematic seepage is better than this utter dreck.

However, compulsory points awarded due to Danny Trejo. And you always, always get points for Trejo.

Midway (2019)
I thought this was released much earlier. More like 2015/16. Okay, I'll admit that I only saw the last third or so, but I feel like that's the best way of watching this film. Still felt long enough.

That battle scene the last third of the film is is rather good. I mean I know diddly-squat about WW2 in the Pacific, so for me it looked sufficiently OK. Sure, there's several rather Hollywood shots. The whole film seems rather Hollywood. The funny thing is though that it somehow subverts conventions by being incredibly old-fashioned. Rather wooden men in pilot suits flying around in airplanes, all showed either via dashcam aimed at the face, dashcam looking down crosshairs or wide shots, showing airplanes flying from above. That gives the film a kinda interesting feel. I mean from what I saw it felt like one of the old big lumbering Hollywood war films.

Sure, there was one pretty meaningless scene doing the compulsory "show ladies in period dresses sit in very clean houses, looking sorrowful" amidst the battle (I assume that there were more scenes of that before in the film; glad I didn't see that). Much less meaningless - several cuts to the Japanese admiral and his staff, as well as a bunch of scenes showing the going-ons on the Japanese vessels. That was cool. All of those are in Japanese with subtitles.

We're at a funny point with these sort of scenes right now, aren't we. The convention seems to be to show these scenes just like that. Respectful representation of The Others (from the Hollywood point of view), BUT speaking in subtitles. In terms of the whole representation thing it's more 'correct', but maybe a point could be made that - at least in dubbed versions of the film - having them talk in English as well would be a more healthy way of doing it? Sure, there's practical hurdles with that in the original English audio (and with certain interrogation scenes and such), but for any other language version you might just as well have the Japanese (and Chinese) characters talk the respective language of the whole film. Would give a more universalist feel to the thing. Just a little thing that crossed my mind as a theoretical little thing.

Anyway, it's a pretty good battle scene, probably espcially so for the people who are into WW2 pacific naval and aerial combat. And for a war film, it's not bad (again, the part I saw. I'm sure the first two thirds are full of annoying stuff).

Take it or Leave It, unless you're into the above things, in which case, don't dismiss it, but do watch the battle scenes.

The Nun 2

Valak returns to menace the world in another instalment in the Conjuring Universe.

It’s…perfectly average. Couple good jump scares, fair amount of atmosphere. But we can’t say it’s in anyway original.

One for fans of the series and sub-genre only really. I enjoyed it well enough.

R.I.P.D 2:- The Rise of the Damned

A prequel to the somewhat unsuccessful R.I.P.D film from a few years ago.

I enjoyed it, but there's no denying it's a fairly poor, low budget effort that was probably only thrown together to stop the studio losing the IP.

 aku-chan wrote:
R.I.P.D 2:- The Rise of the Damned
...

Isn't that a fitting title. I never thought I'd see the day of that getting a sequel.

And I said, "What about Breakfast at Tiffany's?"
She said, "I think I remember the film
And as I recall, I think we both kinda liked it"
And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got"

So as I was searching for reasons not to cancel Paramount+ now that I am caught up with Strange New Worlds and Lower Decks I watched Breakfast at Tiffany's.

Wow.

Daring, daring subject matter for 1961, incredible performances by Audrey Hepburn and George Peppard (I had to check if that was really Hannibal from the A-Team) marred a bit by Andy Rooney as very stereotypical Japanese guy.

And I finally found out what the heck the title means seeing as Tiffany's is a jewelry store and not a cafe...

Terrifier 2

I watched this yesterday but skipped forward here and there because it's over 2 hours.
It has a lot more story than the first one which doesn't bother me but it is also a little tedious.
The blood and guts this go round seem very thick and messy and not just like red water but down right nasty. I'd just seen the teaser trailer for Terrifier 3 on Reddit so I decided to watch this one again. I'm really looking forward to Terrifier 3 "Art does Christmas".
Side note having tried reddit now.. I hate it.

A Haunting in Venice

A perfectly fine little film. If you have seen the other Branaugh Poirot films, then more of the same here. If you are into this sort of film, it is well made, well acted, and well done.

Michelle Yeoh has a great time delivering her big monologue.

A rather grisly opening death as well.

My knowledge of Ancient History and Xenophon actually had a pay-off in this film!

The Haunted Mansion

A perfectly fine comedy product. The actors all seemed to be having fun together. Owen Wilson is a treat. Rosario Dawson had more to do than stand with her arms crossed. There were some decent spooky scenes and a few good laughs.

There was also a LOT of product placement, and only a couple were placed in decent jokes to make them less blatant. Some of them are so hamfisted that they become an awkward joke in themselves. Also, Owen Wilson will probably never have to pay for fast food again in his life.

The ending is rough. It tries to go big when the strength of the film is the claustrophobic relationship of the characters. And the pacing is all off. This film needed a steely-eyed editor to kill the director’s darlings.

All that chatter about a Highlander reboot got me to watch Highlander again this evening.

I really enjoy this movie.
It's just fun. I think the final fight is one of the best in movies due to the Kurgin. He gets a look on his face that says this is it. The fight I have been looking for all of my life.
The swordfights may not be the best but most movie sword fights kinda aren't so it's not really an issue for me.

I definitely recommend a rewatch for anyone who hasn't seen it in a while.

 Kid_Kyoto wrote:

And I said, "What about Breakfast at Tiffany's?"
She said, "I think I remember the film
And as I recall, I think we both kinda liked it"
And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got"

So as I was searching for reasons not to cancel Paramount+ now that I am caught up with Strange New Worlds and Lower Decks I watched Breakfast at Tiffany's.

Wow.

Daring, daring subject matter for 1961, incredible performances by Audrey Hepburn and George Peppard (I had to check if that was really Hannibal from the A-Team) marred a bit by Andy Rooney as very stereotypical Japanese guy.

And I finally found out what the heck the title means seeing as Tiffany's is a jewelry store and not a cafe...

This song is one I will never not enjoy.

The film I also just saw last year or so for the first time, and it rocks.

 warhead01 wrote:
All that chatter about a Highlander reboot got me to watch Highlander again this evening.

I really enjoy this movie.
It's just fun. I think the final fight is one of the best in movies due to the Kurgin. He gets a look on his face that says this is it. The fight I have been looking for all of my life.
The swordfights may not be the best but most movie sword fights kinda aren't so it's not really an issue for me.

I definitely recommend a rewatch for anyone who hasn't seen it in a while.

You can definitively see how a reboot would make it more polished. Equally how it could all go wrong...
I liked the scenes through history the best... If they made them into most period accurate with shocking social views and show highlanders having problems being anachronistic that would be cool.

After the Bite (2023, MAX Documentary)

Pretty great documentary about Cape Cod communities dealing with the aftermath of a youngster being killed by a Great White Shark, as well as the general upheaval in the fishing community and the environmental changes happening on their doorstep.

Really enjoyed it, Recommend. Learned some new things too, like seal vocalizations sounding so eery.

Spoilered for those that don’t have Max or want to know more:

Heartbreak Ridge (1986)

Clint Eastwood is a no-nonsense, hard-as-they-come, veteran US marines man, but kinda retired from active duty and takes on training some US marines scout platoon of slackers.

This one's an interesting one. Eastwood is perfect in the role, the dialogue has been praised. The slackers are even kinda likeable in a way, and there's some odd depth to Eastwood's character than the film would probably require. All in all that film was much more fun and less objectionable from a general human perspective than I remembered.


And then they go on to liberate Grenada! I never liked that ending, even when I was a wee'un and saw the film the first time.

But anyway. I think it's one of the more fun "marines" films and for the time remarkably layered. Eastwood is great to watch. Watch It, if you like that sort of stuff. Watch it, if you like male torsos too. Otherwise, take it or leave it. But that goes for any genre film, right?

 Sigur wrote:
Heartbreak Ridge (1986)

I had always liked when he shot at his trainee's with the Ak-47 while they were unaware on a road march or some sort. Told them to remember how it sounds so they could distinguish their weapons fire from the ubiquitous weapon used by seemingly all of America's adversaries.

 nels1031 wrote:

 Sigur wrote:
Heartbreak Ridge (1986)

I had always liked when he shot at his trainee's with the Ak-47 while they were unaware on a road march or some sort. Told them to remember how it sounds so they could distinguish their weapons fire from the ubiquitous weapon used by seemingly all of America's adversaries.

Yeah, took me back to the days of learning counter-strike 1.5.

Shazam:- Fury of the Gods

A fairly generic superhero movie, but I enjoyed it, thought it was better than the first one at least (I wasn't as enamoured with that one as the rest of the world seemed to be, thought it tried too hard to be funny and quirky).

It was a decent action/fantasy film. If it had been released without the baggage of DC and decades of superhero movies, it would have been better regarded.

The Killer

It's what I'd call a 'minor' Fincher. Great to look at, great to listen to, but probably too dry and clinical to have a broad appeal.

Anaconda

Starring Not-Very-Good-Actress-Turned-Entirely-Average-Model-Turned-Really-Not-Anywhere-Near-Good-Singer Jennifer “J-Lo” Lopez, before she started to seriously get on my pip, phoning in a crap performance in this crap monster movie.

Basically bunch of people decide to go find a Mahoosive Anaconda for reasons not exactly explained well. Only for John Voight to have read the script and decided the best thing would be if they all got put out of their misery.

Also stars Eric Stoltz (wasted in this), Kari Wurher (remember her!) Ice Cube, and Owen Wilson.

This movie is abysmal. The set is so generic, you don’t get a senses the boat has actually travelled. It lacks any and all tension. At no point did I find myself giving a fig about any of the human characters. At all.

However, Frank Welker is in it, doing the noises for the Anaconda. I love Frank Welker, me. He’s ace. I’m just disappointed he didn’t give the Danger Noodle a proper voice like the Smart Gremlin out of Gremlins 2.

Danny Trejo is also in it. But, without his moustache, and he’s killed off in the opening scenes. So as the exception that proves the rule? No Points For Casting Danny Trejo In This One.

There is one good line though, where John Voight is bonked on the head with a golf club. “Arsehole in one”. That tickled me.