In other news: NASCAR's Kurt Busch Testifies That Ex-Girlfriend Is An Assassin

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**rubik'snoob**

Link.

Full text:

Testifying about a request for a protective order against him, race car driver Kurt Busch told a Dover, Del., court this week that his former girlfriend is an assassin. Patricia Driscoll, who dated Busch for four years, requested the order last November, shortly after their relationship ended.

Driscoll has also filed a criminal complaint against Busch, alleging that he grabbed her and slammed her head into the wall of his motor coach at Dover International Speedway last fall. Busch denies those claims, which the authorities have been considering separately.

Those circumstances brought about four days of testimony from Busch and Driscoll that almost certainly stands unique among anything ever heard in a family court.

The former NASCAR Sprint Cup champion, 36, said that Driscoll "is a trained assassin dispatched on covert missions around the world," The Associated Press reports. The news agency adds: "Busch said Driscoll repeatedly asserted her assassin status and claimed the work took her on missions across Central and South America and Africa."

"Everybody on the outside can tell me I'm crazy, but I lived on the inside and saw it firsthand," Busch said.

From USA Today:

"Busch offered up specific examples of her returning from missions, sometimes with bruises.
"Once, he said, they were in El Paso, Texas, where Driscoll had left that night in camouflage and boots. She returned later to the hotel at which he was staying wearing a trench coat. Under it she was wearing an evening gown splattered with blood and other matter, Busch testified."
Those details add to a picture that was painted earlier, when Busch and others testified "that Driscoll claimed she was a trained assassin who had killed people, including drug lords," the AP reported Monday.

Busch and his attorney, Rusty Hardin, are holding up Driscoll's status as a mercenary to refute her claims that she was abused.

"I know that she could take me down at any moment," Busch told his attorney Monday, "because she's a bad-ass."

Local TV station WBOC notes, "Neither Driscoll nor her attorney refuted testimony about her telling people she was a trained assassin."

Driscoll, 37, lives in Ellicott City, Md. She heads two organizations, both of them based in Washington, D.C. One is the Armed Forces Foundation, a veterans advocacy group that partners with NASCAR. The other is Frontline Defense Systems, whose website says Driscoll "spent the majority of her career in the narcotics and intelligence world."

My personal favorite:

"I know that she could take me down at any moment," Busch told his attorney Monday, "because she's a bad-ass."

It isn't too far-fetched . . . a NASCAR driver's crazy girlfriend would be the perfect cover, after all.

**Torga_DW**

Is she like a us-government assassin though? Otherwise i'm seeing problems with this.

**Jihadin**

SyFy buy the rights to make the movie yet?

**rubik'snoob**

Jihadin wrote:
SyFy buy the rights to make the movie yet?

No, but I think Country Music TV has put in a bid.

**Grey Templar**

This,

Driscoll has also filed a criminal complaint against Busch, alleging that he grabbed her and slammed her head into the wall of his motor coach at Dover International Speedway last fall. Busch denies those claims, which the authorities have been considering separately.

Doesn't match this.

"I know that she could take me down at any moment," Busch told his attorney Monday, "because she's a bad-ass."

Frankly, if your ex-girlfriend was an assassin like you claim then she'd never bother having a boyfriend like you. Too high profile, and she'd never let you know either.

**AduroT**

What kind of world class assassin just goes around bragging about it?

Spoiler:

**WarAngel**

**squidhills**

First of all, there are no freelance assassins.

None.

Everyone claiming to be a freelance assassin is a federal law enforcement agent looking to arrest you for conspiracy to commit murder.

Secondly, how much meth has this guy done? Because if he honestly thinks this defense is going to work, he must've cooked all of his brain cells with something illegal.

Somebody needs to go over to TV Tropes and update the "real life" section of their Refuge in Audacity page, because this is a textbook example.

**curran12**

My initial reaction:

Spoiler:

My thoughtful reaction:

And we trust this guy with a race car?

**squidhills**

curran12 wrote:

And we trust this guy with a race car?

His job is to repeatedly drive in a circle. I'm pretty sure it's the only thing we can trust him to do.

**Deadshot**

Ever consider that maybe he's telling the truth? Sure, chances are he's high as feth but just consider that he's truthful for a moment. Could be true. And it would be the perfect cover, because as we can all see, no one believes him anyway.

**d-usa**

squidhills wrote:
curran12 wrote:

And we trust this guy with a race car?

His job is to repeatedly drive in a circle. I'm pretty sure it's the only thing we can trust him to do.

But we don't trust him enough to give him a turn signal.

**SagesStone**

It's still all good until she assassinates his pickup truck.

**gorgon**

She's come out and said the claims are wrong and were rooted in a movie script she was working on. And from her pictures, she doesn't exactly look capable of kicking Busch's a$$ any time she wanted.

To me, this seems like an attempt by Busch and his lawyer to "crazy up" and confuse a fairly cut-and-dry matter. Don't hit women, Kurt.

**Jihadin**

Mr & Mrs Smith

I doubt they can recreate some of those quite excellent shoot outs

**Ensis Ferrae**

gorgon wrote:
She's come out and said the claims are wrong and were rooted in a movie script she was working on. And from her pictures, she doesn't exactly look capable of kicking Busch's a$$ any time she wanted.

To me, this seems like an attempt by Busch and his lawyer to "crazy up" and confuse a fairly cut-and-dry matter. Don't hit women, Kurt.

Hey now, when you're named after one of the Gakkiest beers in America, you gotta do SOMETHING to draw attention away from that, especially since you're a NASCAR driver. Next, we're gonna find out he's been stuffing hair into his ball cap pre/post race, to hide his mullet, and he wears dentures to cover up the fact he has more fingers than teeth

**KingCracker**

squidhills wrote:
curran12 wrote:

And we trust this guy with a race car?

His job is to repeatedly drive in a circle. I'm pretty sure it's the only thing we can trust him to do.

Yes.

I'm curious how a protection order will keep this deadly assassin away. It doesn't work to well with crazy ex boyfriends.